Loyola Academy ‘84. Loyola University ‘90. Can Bench 275. Father of 7. Fond enjoyer of Malort. Miller lite enthusiast. Iowa Hawkeye Fan. Aspiring alcoholic
There’s no place in sports like this. Idc if my son’s 4 or 14 if he gets beamed in the helmet he’s saying nothing but fuck you on his way to first base. I’ll teach him all the slurs before he gets to 3
This Oklahoma little leaguer got hit in the head, and then walked out to the pitcher’s mound to let the pitcher know that he’s going to be okay.
If you’re going to watch something today, it should be this.
Men can’t have shit nowadays. Only a week into summer and already lost it. White boy summer activated, jokes on you Grace, drinking is a hobby and a hobby I’m good at.
If you guys were my pledges I’d lock you in a closet with a bottle of Tito’s and give u 45 minutes to finish it or you can’t leave the closet for 48 hours
Walked into this fine establishment today and said “you know Howie?” And he before he could respond I said “Howie doinnnnnnn”. Then put the 12er on the counter
This kid is so fair game. Yes I am bored, no I do not attend Ole Miss. YES am I about to dive into this kid. Yes, I am on my burner instagram DM’ing him…
Sister ran a half marathon today. In the time that she ran 13.2 miles and killed her body for the next week I’ve had 7 miller lites and got a chest and back pump. Safe to say I’ve had a better Sunday
Hope this stupid wench enjoyed my $.53 tip after taking 13 minutes to come to me for drinks. 20 people there and she was doubling down on certain people before I said something
If it came down to picking this guy or my best friend to die, I’d pick my friend. Ain’t nothin like bein 20 and not having to pull out the fake in your hometown.
Monday update: gym crush and I talked for 25 minutes today. Asked her why she doesn’t go out, she replied “I’ve been dating a guy that’s a psycho about me going out” … didn’t what to say so I hit her with a “Fade him, sounds like a dork”. Survive another day.
They let me get to Friday. 10AM stews. ZB on the speaker. Like 2 million views on tweets this week. Making 2028 kids my children. As Lil baby once said, “life is amazing it is what it should be”
5/17/24 recap
- 20 miller lites crushed
- 2 naps
- 1 “get the fuck out of my wife’s personal bubble”
- 1 “You lil ass white boys think you’re all that”
- 1 backyard I shit in on my walk to the bar
- 2 times cranking hog (both before 1pm)
- 5 instagram stories liked
Notified a girl at said trade school I’ll be there and she told me that she’s on meds at the moment and “is going through it” idgaf can I come over at 2:30 to tap or what Grace
Favorite part about election season is walking home from the bars canned at 2am and stealing signs off people’s yards then putting them all on one random house. Sorry 3684 W 122nd street today you are a republican, democrat, and independent
Got jaw’d after this video for videoing this. Too good of a video not to post. This fucking f
@g
called me a dork. Yep buddy ur right fist tasted like a fucking 5 course meal on how soft it tasted
I snitched on a dude 2 years ago and landed him 7 felonies. (No jail but owed the city 100k in damages). Saw him last night at the bar and had no backup with me so I walked 4 miles home
The left is busy protesting and trying to make
#45
not have a comeback. Meanwhile I’m enjoying my killer lites and eggs with a side of Vitamin D.
#StayWokeLibs
Eggs, ground beef, blueberries. Optimal. Killer lites, Tavon Austin, Nike Dunk Slippers? Liberals all across the country hate to see me having a Friday…
Cubs are hot. Sox are ass. Bears drafting Caleb Williams tonight. New 12’er. About to make a 2028 ole miss kid send me a vid of him giving the weather report in Georgia. Life is good. Happy weekend gents.
Only way out is back in. Just saw a fat girl wearing a shirt that says “this is the only shirt I have that doesn’t have cum on it”. It’s always… always the fat girls.
Went inside of gas station to get a snack and there was a hot blonde in the aisle I was about to walk in to. Will now continue my 2 hour drive home with no snack.
“Breakfast is the most important meal of the day”… yea yea Shutup liberals. UV touches 9 in 3 hours and I’ll long gone with a 6 pack and a workout by then. Thanks, but let this white boy cook.
Libs are gonna shake in their boots if they realize this white boy is having himself a Tuesday. Free birthday Panera pastry and some stews. UV 8… Yep let’s have a week gents. 🤝