Jay Kogen @JayKogen Twitter profile

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

5 years

Not to be a downer, but my decade's just "okay" so far.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

3 years

Great new artist! Great new song. If you like music that makes you happy and makes you think check out “Knight in Cargo Shorts” via @YouTube

Knight in Cargo Shorts

Provided to YouTube by DistroKidKnight in Cargo Shorts · Charlie KogenKnight in Cargo Shorts℗ Sepulveda Pass RecordsReleased on: 2021-10-08Auto-generated by ...

www.youtube.com

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

4 years

People were asking what I was doing. Now I can tell you. We get to make iCarly for ADULTS! ‘iCarly’ Reboot With Original Stars Miranda Cosgrove, Jerry Trainor & Nathan Kress Ordered By Paramount+ via @Deadline

‘iCarly’ Revival With Original Stars Miranda Cosgrove, Jerry Trainor & Nathan Kress Ordered By...

A new iteration of Nickelodeon's iCarly is in the works.

deadline.com

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

2 years

Is it a bad sign for my career that my home office just became a Spirit of Halloween store?

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

4 years

Pure genius.

Main Home

djtrumplibrary.com

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

4 years

I still find it hard to believe EVERYBODY was kung fu fighting.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

5 years

Other dead people Trump should be starting a feud with: Barbara Bush Andy Williams Ricky Jay Mr. Rogers Jimmy Carter (then when told Carter is still alive will claim he's dead.) Colonel Potter Stacks Edwards All those dumb guys that died in "Saving Private Ryan"

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

6 years

When I was a boy, my grandfather died of lung cancer. His coughing and wheezing broke my heart. So right then I dedicated my life to raise as many billions as it would take for researchers to create special earphones that would filter that coughing stuff out.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

3 years

EVERYONE PLEASE give Charlie's great new song a LISTEN & LIKE & SAVE on Spotify, Amazon, Apple etc. He wrote, sang, played & produced it. It's day 1 & it matters MOST TODAY! Play it from by clicking the link below THANKS & SHARE if you can!:

Knight in Cargo Shorts by Charlie Kogen

Listen now on your favorite streaming service. Powered by Songlink/Odesli, an on-demand, customizable smart link service to help you share songs, albums, podcasts and more.

song.link

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

6 years

If Ivanka hangs out with her dad as much as I think she does, she's heard that word A LOT.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

4 years

Billy Joe Armstrong is 48 years old. Wilfred Brimley was 50 when he made "Cocoon." Those must be two rough years.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

5 years

#TheSimpsons Anyone have any Simpsons questions from the first couple of seasons of the show? It was a long long time ago but I'll answer what I can.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

3 years

Just now - My dad in the ER with mysterious stomach pains about to get a shot of morphine asked if there will be any side effects. Dr: "You'll probably like jazz more."

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

10 months

Matt Perry said recently his substance abuse was to quell anxiety about not being the funniest guy in the room which broke my heart. Because after countless dinners and poker games, I can say he needn't have worried. Via con dios, Matty. Love, Failure Man.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

4 years

You know that lie Trump told today about not knowing anything about firing the pandemic response team put in place by Obama? Here he is bragging about it like the asshole he is.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

2 years

I don't care how bad the joke was. What other person gets to jump on stage and attack a presenter without any consequences? Where is security? Is Will Smith that valuable to the show that all ethics mean nothing? Shame on Will. Shame on the show. Shame on the academy.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

3 years

Why can't I go big AND go home?

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

3 years

I spent a day with Norm Macdonald shopping for hazmat suits just because he was sure he’d need it at some point.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

6 years

Does everyone else feel like they are spinning gold on this Twitter thing and completely being ignored?

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

4 years

Can someone get Covid-19 if they do nothing but watch Turner Movie Classics, eat popcorn, & masturbate? We will see. We will see.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

5 years

#TheSimpsons Dr. Julius Hibbert was originally a black woman named Dr. Julia Hibbert whom we named after SNL alum Julia Sweeney who I knew from The Groundlings. She was married at the time to another Groundling, Steve Hibbert.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

6 years

Hey, anti-vaxers! Great job at actually bringing completely curable deadly diseases back to kill kids based on your false disproven fears that some unknown danger might hurt your kid. So very very stupid and selfish.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

4 years

Now that the news is out I can say I'm sadly no longer trying to make iCarly a show worth watching. But the work I did has given the show a foundation. I wish them the best.

‘iCarly’: Jay Kogen Exits As Co-Showrunner Of Revival Series For Paramount+

The 'iCarly' revival, one of the most anticipated new series on Paramount+, is undergoing a behind-the-scenes leadership change.

deadline.com

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

5 years

Very proud of All THE SIMPSON WRITERS for making this one great.

On This Day in Simpsons History 🇺🇦

@dailysimpsons

5 years

#OnThisDay March 11, 1993, "Last Exit to Springfield" first aired on the Fox network. Dir: @markk1914 . Wr: @JayKogen & Wallace Wolodarsky EP: @AlJean @MikeReissWriter . It has been frequently been cited as one of the best episodes of the entire series.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

4 years

The Simpsons are good people.

The Simpsons

@TheSimpsons

4 years

Marge Simpson has something to say.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

5 years

#Simpsons Who wants to know why Bart and Homer have the middle initial "J."?

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

2 years

#PhilosophyPhriday my friend Elliott Gould

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

4 years

I feel like when Bill Maher kids that his writers "better laugh at the shitty jokes they wrote for him or he'll fire them", I think he means to say his writers better laugh at the shitty jokes they wrote for him or he'll fire them.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

6 years

When I left The @TheSimpsons 25 years ago I was so exhausted it already felt like the longest running scripted show in history. Congratulations Matt Groening @canyonjim @simonsam @AlJean @MikeReissWriter @wolodarsky @tubatron @mattselman @BradBirdA113 & 2 many more to mention.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

4 years

WARNING REDDIT USERS! I've seen FAKE POSTS with my name a picture saying stuff I NEVER SAID! I don't announce casting decisions or story details about the show. I also NEVER BADMOUTH anyone from iCarly including Dan Schneider who I'm grateful to for creating the show. IT'S B.S.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

7 years

@AndyRichter Two things. 1. We all feel this way from time to time. Some of us for long stretches. I feel that wave pretty strong today, myself. You are not alone. 2. I love you.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

8 years

Donald Trump: The Surgeon via @YouTube

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

3 years

@ThatGuy3002 If you like the Simpsons you must give Sam Simon a ton of credit. He had the inspiration & expertise. He made the show funny, compelling, fast & smart. He developed the characters, the story structure & fast tempo. Of course Matt & Jim contributed A LOT but to me Sam was the key.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

4 years

If oil prices have fallen to NEGATIVE $37 a barrel, and I own no oil barrels, then don't I have $37 for every barrel I don't own? Guys, I think I'm a billionaire!

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

3 years

@ThatGuy3002 They didn't throw the party, They were guests at someone else's party. But yeah.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

1 year

The WGA is already telling SAG-AFTRA that their striking is "really great" but maybe they can do it again with more energy this time.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

3 years

My mom told me one of her oldest friends had died. The next day she said he was alive. I asked her what happened. She said, "He got better."

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

3 years

Based on casting I'd say Dear Evan Hanson is more about mid-life crisis than high school.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

5 years

Dr. Hibbert became Julius when we flipped the sex. Some of us thought it'd be easier to be silly with a male doctor than a woman & we wanted a Cosby-like character when we were put up against "The Cosby Show" in our Thursday time slot. Hibbert wore Cosby sweaters. #TheSimpsons

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

6 years

The very first Simpsons script ever written!

On This Day in Simpsons History 🇺🇦

@dailysimpsons

6 years

#OnThisDay January 21, 1990, "Homer's Odyssey" first airs on Fox. Dir: Wes Archer. Wr: @JayKogen , Wallace Wolodarsky. SR: @simonsam @canyonjim and Matt Groening. It was the first Simpsons script to be completed, although it was the third episode produced.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

5 years

Star Wars was about an ordinary farm boy who achieved greatness because he tapped into the goodness around him and in himself. Then it got changed to a story of people with magic bloodlines who were destined to rule the galaxy. I liked the 1st way better.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

3 years

About 29 years ago I had dinner w/ @ConanOBrien when he said he wanted to be a talk show host. I laughed. He explained he was serious. I said, "That's a weird dream but if it's your dream then go for it." He did & while it's still weird he gave it his all. Mazel tov, my friend.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

8 years

Donald Trump: The Pilot via @YouTube

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

6 years

100% true - Just pitched my dad a new pilot I'm writing about a son who blames the failures of his life on a his father who he think never believed in him. My dad said don't write it. It didn't sound very good or commercial to him.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

3 years

JAY KOGEN'S CELEBRITY ROUND UP is here! Growing up in showbiz adjacent L.A. I have a surprising amount of stories. If you name a celebrity who was alive from 1965-ish to now, I will tell you any personal story or loose connection I've had with her or him or they! Ask away.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

6 years

I think #DJKhalid would go down on his wife someone told him all he has to do is keep screaming his own name into her vagina the way he screams it on everyone else's music,

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

3 years

#BobSaget Funny, filthy & the nicest guy ever. Starting out in stand up, he provided encouragement & laughs to me, a kid who didn't deserve it. Through the years he continued to be balls out funny & overly kind. Simply put he gave the love he had & he was loved in return. RIP

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

5 years

#TheSimpsons to celebrate the 30th Anniversary of out first Simpsons show broadcast to the world, @JonVitti and I had lunch together. He's a great smart guy who remembers more than I do.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

4 years

Now it's time for CELEBRITY ROUND UP! Name an actor, comic, or show biz notable who was alive in the last 50 years & I'll tell you if I had any slight interaction or vague connection with him or her. You'd be very surprised who I've met and not at all surprised who I haven't.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

5 years

I miss this show SOOO MUCH!!

Scott Interrante

@InterranteScott

5 years

@jerrytrainor there was a moment so perfect on that show that I had to poorly screenrecord it and put it on youtube so I'd be able to watch it forever

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

4 years

That was a fun party. My life is much different now.

Jennifer Tilly

@JenniferTilly

4 years

Congrats to @TheSimpsons for their Emmy Nominations! Here we all are at the premiere party in 1989. Who would’ve thought it would last so long!

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

3 years

I'll start. Recently I've been bothered by fame as a goal. I see shows like The Bachelor where they claim they want love but it's clearly a shot at fame. People become famous for being famous. No talent. Just renown. What is fame as a commodity and why does it matter so much?

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

4 years

Carnac joke from Arnie Kogen! Answer: Wash your hands. Wear a mask. Keep six feet apart. Question: What were my wife's honeymoon instructions?

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

2 years

Funny story. A few weeks ago I wrote that the only thing I know for sure is that Elliott Gould will speak at my funeral. This was funny to me because the chances of Eliiott Gould speaking at my funeral is low. He's basically a movie star I had heard of but not someone I know.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

9 months

Norman Lear was like a father to me. He wasn't around much, and when he was, he was never that impressed with me.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

1 year

Last night I got tickled by Diane Keaton. Not metaphorically. She poked and tickled me. I have been a lifelong fan of hers but tickling was never a dream of mine. Fun though.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

2 years

But then he called me to ask what I meant? (A friend gave him my number.) and I explained my joke but eventually he spent our phone calls laying "truth on me." I loved it and a few days ago we went to lunch and it was beautiful.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

4 years

Sometimes when I have to check the "I am not a robot" box, I pause. How can I be sure?

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

3 years

Also for the past few days I've been feeling sad. So feeling sorry for myself isn't a recipe for feeling lovable. Life circumstance has made me down but I haven't done the work to pull myself out of it yet. But I need to. And will.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

1 year

You gotta come if you want to see the FUNNIEST MOVIE you never knew existed.

David Higgins

@DAnthonyHiggins

1 year

Friday May 19, there will be a screening of The Wrong Guy! At Dynasty Typewriter, 2511 Wilshire Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90057! I will be there along with, Dave Foley, Jay Kogen and other special guests! Tickets are available here

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

4 years

I also want to say this! If you are working to impress people you will ALWAYS BE HEARTBROKEN. People don't give a shit. Nobody cares what you did or what you achieved unless they are getting a cut. Instead they are into their own story. So ONLY work to impress yourself.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

5 years

#TheSimpsons according to Sam Simon, Barney Gumble is as close to Barney Rubble from the Flintstones aa we could make him. Gumble is taken from Rubble and Google (Before the search engine there was a cartoon character named Barney Google.)

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

3 years

Can any of really say that when we were 17 we didn't cross state lines and head down to protests armed with assault rifles and shoot people only armed with skateboards to protect parking lots?

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

4 years

Your quarantine nickname is just... your name, spoken sadly, then shouted plaintively even though no one will hear. Then whispered in a low hollow emptiness. You're welcome.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

3 years

Whenever I hear someone say, "We have a no assholes rule here." I immediately think, "Oh, this person doesn't know he IS an asshole."

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

7 years

@JadePettyjohn you never cease to amaze. Funny. Real. And adorable. Thanks for today.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

5 years

So Mrs. Krabappel, pronounced Kra-bop-pul, is really "Crab Apple" and completely based on the Little Rascals' teacher Mrs. Crabtree as @DJMortyCoyle rightfully pointed out. I also my best friend @DanielHGill had/has cousins named Appel so the spelling is a nod to them and him.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

1 year

#WGAstrong I saw the very funny @pagetpaget picketing at Warner Bros today and she ran out of things to say to me very quickly. I'm assuming my good looks kind of disoriented her.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

3 years

Every time I didn't get hired, I get a chance to work on something else and meet some great people. Every girl who ignored me made me available to other relationships. & every bad relationship prepared me for a better shot at a better relationship. #PhilosophyPhriday . No regrets.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

4 years

Join the Paramount + family!!! (mention me and I get a two cent commision!)

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

5 years

#TheSimpsons Who wants to know the reason Lenny and Carl are named Lenny and Carl?

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

4 years

Dear Seddies and Creddies. 1. It's really not an issue for the new show at all. 2. I'm not the person making those decisions. So just watch the new iCarly and see what happens with their new loves and losses and see how you like it.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

5 years

My body is my temple. I haven't paid any attention to it since I was 13.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

6 years

Maybe it's because I'm cheap but every year, just before Mother's Day, I break up with my mom.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

4 months

Very sad to hear entertainment reporter (Stump Alum) Sam Rubin passed away. He was a kind guy who always fancied himself a performer of sorts. He was charming, funny, & self-depreciating. He often called me for free joke pitches. The guy loved shows & his family. I will miss him.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

4 years

Important message from my dad, writer Arnie Kogen: "Because of the Covid thing now only three people are allowed in every clown car."

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

5 years

#TheSimpsons is still great. After all these years. it's still great. I can't believe I quit a quarter of a century too early. Great job @AlJean @canyonjim @MattGroening4 @mattselman and all the other geniuses. Keep it up.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

3 years

My sister Jill, who would have been 61 today, at the Kings Stanley Cup Finals winning game in 2012. She was a life long Kings fan. It was a spectacular moment for us. Happy birthday to Jill. Here's to the good times.

Jay Kogen (@jaykogen) • Instagram photo

www.instagram.com

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

5 years

THE REVIEWS ARE IN!!

Shawn Griffin

@509ShawnG

5 years

@realDonaldTrump

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

4 years

10 EASY WAYS TO HAPPINESS! 1-Exercise 2-Vanquish your enemies 3-Make a billion $ 4-No screens before bed 5-Demand vengeance 6-Smile more! 7-Parade enemies through the streets 8-Be grateful for what you have 9-Don’t compare lives 10-Sit on throne made from your rival’s bones

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

4 years

@ThePapperman617 @jerrytrainor @DEADLINE @NoahMunck We've approached him.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

3 years

Check out "Lisa The Greek" in honor of Super Bowl # whatever!

When ‘The Simpsons’ Bet Big on the Super Bowl

Thirty years ago, when legal sports betting was just a pipe dream, Homer Simpson discovered that his daughter could pick winners. This is the story of "Lisa the Greek."

www.theringer.com

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

5 years

Saw Cats today and HATED it. Not the movie. Just two cats sitting there staring at me like I was some kind of jerk who owed them something. They're the jerks. THEY'RE THE JERKS!

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

6 years

I think it's funny how the right things billionaires and Hollywood liberals have the power to trick kids into marching for sensible gun laws when the billionaires and Hollywood liberals can't convince kids to see "Tomb Raider."

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

2 years

He actually called and said, "This is Elliott Gould. What do you want me to say?"

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

4 years

People who fear voting in person but think USPS can't safely deliver a “mail-in” do this: 1. Request a mail-in ballot. 2. Do not mail it. 3. Google your supervisor of elections to see where you can drop off your mail-in ballot. Its usually NOT THE POLLING PLACE. All states do it!

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

1 year

This is what I wear when I write my first drafts.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

3 years

It will be great year. I know this because last night my son found out we have a distant cousin named B.J. Seamens. Winning.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

5 years

#TheSimpsons who is ready for more trivia? Want to know how the Kang and Kodos came to be?

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

5 years

He was incredibly talented and terribly drunk and perfectly impossible to work with. Rip, Rip.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

4 years

I truly miss him alot. Not just on Sept 11. He was a good soul.

Joe Keenan

@MrJoeKeenan

4 years

David Angell, who co-created Frasier, was on the first plane that hit the towers 19 years ago. He and his wife Lynn were flying from Boston to LA for the Emmys. I recently found this picture of him relaxing in Martin's chair between takes, and it's my favorite photo of him ever.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

4 years

Let's be honest. A shit ton of places out pizzas The Hut.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

3 years

To all my EMMY nominated friends: The Emmy Award is the pinnacle of recognition for your art. It means your peers truly see your excellence. Congratulations! You've made it! And for all my friends who weren't nominated: Fuck it. Awards are meaningless.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

3 years

I'm in a hospital waiting room and totally crushing it. I've got a corner of a couch and a plug 4 feet away. Winning!

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

3 years

Nothing embarrassing about being a man in his mid 50's, alone on a couch, watching "Annie Live."

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

8 years

The White House urges media to "Leave Barron alone." which makes sense because it's what Donald Trump has been doing since he was born.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

5 years

They say you should live like you were dying. So I stay in bed taking Ketamine, watching the Gameshow channel, and falling in and out of consciousness. It really has made a difference.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

5 years

So as some have surmised, Elvis Costello (& Nick Lowe) had a manager named Jake Riviera. The name always sounded shady and completely made up to me. So originally I wanted to name the fake infomercial doc Dr. Jake Riveria but legal asked me to change it so it became Nick.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

4 years

"Single as a Pringle?" Insane! Pringles are never alone. They are in cans with dozens of their clones. Just because it rhymes doesn't make it a good expression. Lazy.

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Jay Kogen

@JayKogen

4 years

I'm at the age that when I hear a friend from high school died, I'm praying it was a freak accident or brutal crime instead of natural causes.

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