James C Warne @JamesCWarne Twitter profile

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James C Warne

1 year

What's my new book 'Rage At Eden' all about? The year is 2159. Humanity has been bought to its knees after decades of collapse and decay. England has returned to feudalism, warlords and those trying to rebuild. Who will prevail? #dystopian

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Last Seen Profiles

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

10 months

Basic Instinct 2 looks a bit shit

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

2 years

Seriously, who actually likes beetroot? 🤔🤷‍♂️

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

4 months

Sorry, but regardless of any conflict, if your idea of protesting is screaming and threatening a 20 year old female singer who then needs security to get around, you are not one of the good guys.

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

5 months

Just bumped into Kate and William. Haters will say it’s not them. #RoyalAnnouncement #whatiswrongwitheverybody

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

1 year

@PetronellaWyatt @MailOnline I watched a documentary on Turkey and during the intermission someone stole my heart, lungs and fingernails, it’s literally rife

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

13 days

@oldenoughtosay They are called fried eggs. None of this sunny up and down bollocks

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

1 year

Anyone want some tomatoes, kinda bored of them now

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

1 year

@PetronellaWyatt @MailOnline I meant one fingernail, obviously. But they still took my heart and lungs.

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

6 months

Not sure what is real or unreal anymore now

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

3 years

Someone just blocked me over black pudding!

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

6 months

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is where you put chocolate. In. The. Fridge.

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

8 months

Is it me or does that look like David Cameron 🤔😂

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

9 months

@mikegallacher1 Look we’ve all stood on a yacht, coincidentally named after ourselves, at some stage in our life. Give her a break man

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

3 years

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you make a cup of tea 👍

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

2 years

Homemade sodding chips. Have it.

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

4 months

Can we all stop encouraging Brioche bun makers please by not buying their weird shiny sweet odd coloured bread rolls. Awful things.

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

28 days

@MailOnline Next week: Harold Shipman and his youth charity work.

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

5 months

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

1 year

Absolutely fucking not

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

4 months

The moment that at least 2 of you have been waiting for. It is concluded.

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

5 months

@FoodPornPhotos Is that pastry and cat sick?

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

7 months

@ChefReactions So glad she drained the olives, that would have really spoiled it

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

1 year

Not that surprising really

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

1 year

@graceyldn That would be me

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

8 months

Just popping down to the abyss to scream into it. Anyone want anything?

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

1 year

@amberdebotton Rather shocked to hear he had anyone in charge of his communications tbh

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

2 years

@theJeremyVine @exposurelights Wouldn’t your holier than thou angelic halo give off enough illumination instead?

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

1 month

@KirstieMAllsopp Thanks for telling us what to think

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

1 year

@ShabezJr How’s the cave mate?

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

11 months

@realchasegeiser

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

1 year

@NoContextBrits A nice slice of cake and a hearty congratulations 🥳

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

6 months

@mikegallacher1 If I was there patient I would get a different doctor

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

5 months

@DPJHodges Maybe run a poll on it 😬

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

8 months

Careful out there 🙏

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

3 months

@donelson52 @Lucy_Worsley Next week: Williams opinion on ladies earlobes. Harlot or Angel, he decides.

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

2 months

@whingewine Has it landed on someone’s lawn and is now being cared for well

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

9 months

If you can watch this without frowning then you’re wrong. Or Americany.

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

4 months

Apart from a bit of weathering on the roof, the back and side of the house is done. Could fiddle more but I think I won’t.

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

2 years

D,3,A of course 🤷‍♂️

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

3 years

Black pudding, never beaten 🤩

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

2 years

@TheFreds @durhamsafc1994 @GBNEWS Shame, quite liked their early stuff

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

8 months

This is elite level cocking about 👌

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

10 months

@JustStop_Oil Bet Tarquin is livid

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

1 year

@harryjonesxx Did a car boot sale once and ended up digging my heels in as someone wanted me to drop from 20p to 10p, almost kicked off 😫

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

9 months

Right. Someone came to pick something up I’d sold on eBay. And now I have a car stuck down my bank. Smashing.

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

5 months

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

1 year

@f1mclarenfan @McLarenF1 Most amounts of ninth?

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

13 days

@JewJewBear86 @oldenoughtosay I have never ordered whatever that thing on the right is, is the chef ok?

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

1 year

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

6 months

@thetimes Panic. Ffs

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

1 year

Im having a shit day so you all can too

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

1 year

@LeighFolkArts Isn’t this a bit fascisty?

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

1 year

New international measuring system needs a bit of work

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

2 years

Crumpets with the only acceptable topping: butter Nothing else needed

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

1 year

@JoeBangles11 @_B___S Or cats are

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

4 months

@theJeremyVine In all seriousness, brown leather gloves? Only 1970’s serial killers wear those. Maybe try a more modern type. Ones with holes and stuff. Or goretex, or is that in tents, I forget.

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

6 months

Think my first day as head of PR at Red Bull F1 is going rather well 🤌 #redbull #whatthefuck

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

1 year

@DPJHodges It is a bit weird we have to even approach saying this

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

2 years

@EmmaManzini Nah! They burnt them and realised some hippy would buy them 🤩 Marketing genius

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

1 year

@ShabezJr Firstly, are you ok? I hope so.

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

9 months

Wonder what a ‘potential snow event’ is? Could it be snow? 🤔

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

1 year

@autspekoe @LoveIsland Can’t believe Tom and Samie stand a chance! Mean kids both of them

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

10 months

@SaibSajid @HJB_News_ Glad we sorted that out

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

10 months

@DPJHodges There’s a few tiny hints appearing aren’t there

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

10 months

@fesshole Brush first?

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

9 months

Back by popular demand. I give you: a nice cup of tea 🙏

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

1 year

@LeighFolkArts Not a good look advocating censorship tho is it

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

1 year

Right nice cup of tea then out to the garden (not the hedge tho today) 👌

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

2 years

@MarcCorbishley Put a bit of cheese on it, grill it a bit, salt and pepper; then Chuck it all in the bin

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

1 month

Part of me wants the French opening ceremony to just be a bloke walking into the arena in a roll neck jumper with a brandy and smoking a gauloises. He gives a big shrug and saunters back out.

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

1 year

@jonlis1

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

5 months

@emilykschrader @metpoliceuk Atrocious behaviour

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

13 days

@Shmlixxz @oldenoughtosay I would describe what I wanted as a ‘fried egg’ please and enjoy the fried eggyness that was forthcoming

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

2 years

Am done 🙏

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

5 months

@JustinWelby @DioceseofDerby Blimey. Quite a take. Have you ever read the bible 🤷‍♂️

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

2 years

@ratemyplatenow Interesting choice by Jordan there. Combining Chicken and Chorizo Pie with uncooked seafood and bin juice. And no pie crust. And sadness, so much sadness.

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

5 months

On a lighter note. Today i have been clean and sober for eleven years. This last year has really tested me (and still is tbh) but I’ve made another year sober. So if anyone is wondering if they can do it, I did. And many others do too. So can you 🙏

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

1 year

@cri_fit @nibraz88cricket That he’s not pissed during the match 🤷‍♂️

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

11 months

@PalermoBenBFC @nazirafzal But what if I don’t like shopping at Spar?

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

4 months

@SamParkerSenate @RealAlexJones Are you special?

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

1 year

Story to sum up my dad: He had a 2nd world war hand grenade (souvenir from his dad) we’d play catch with pretending it was still live when I was young. When they moved few years ago he got rid of it, he took it to police station (almost as a joke). They said it would have to be

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

8 months

Honey glazed ham. Fucking marvellous 🤩

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

1 year

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

5 months

You’ ve been murdered. Who do you want on the case?

Dark Magus

@stevepenson666

5 months

You’ ve been murdered. Who do you want on the case?

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

6 months

@chrisshipitv You’ve all gone mad

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

1 year

It’s all gone too far now

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

2 years

@JuliaJ90546572 @isabella363 @JackPosobiec As an Englishman id like to thank the US for introducing such a lovely language back to us in return for your freedom, before it we had used clicks and grunts for about a thousand years 🙏

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

3 months

@Beska Maybe willow would like to play with Alice for a while

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

2 years

Ladies and gentlemen, my magnetic duck thing holder has arrived

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

4 months

For those who are still interested (me less so)

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

1 year

Can’t be bothered to cook

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

2 years

I am having a battle of wills to see who breaks first, me to let him in or him to walk off Who will win? 🤔

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

1 year

@RogerHallamCS21 Bravest 😬

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

4 months

@idlewildgirl Get her a library ticket 👌

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

1 year

In other news (I’ll be back to shit memes soon don’t worry!) today I have been 10 years sober and clean. Not a drink or sniff or pill or bloody anything. First couple years was hard, next few not bad, lately feels normal. If I can do it then anyone can 🙌🙌🙌

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James C Warne

@JamesCWarne

1 year

Loved Princess Anne this weekend