Isy Suttie @Isysuttie Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

My daughter’s lost a baby tooth and because we’ve not paid for anything in cash for nearly A YEAR we have no coins in the house so I’ve taken £1 from her money box to give her and I feel like turning myself in

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

2 years

If anyone wants to feel better about your life, this is what was under our sofas when we moved them into the new house

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

Daughter just caught us in her bedroom, presents in hand. Woke up and asked us what we were doing. Said we were moving her presents that Santa had just left so she’d have better access to them in the morning. She bought it. Am sweating like the beginning of Midnight Express.

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

Just saw an ice cream van getting petrol and it felt like I’d seen Santa stopping for a piss

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

4 years

If you’re finding yourself floundering a bit, please forgive yourself. We’re in a bloody PANDEMIC and the rules are all blurry like they’ve been left out in the rain. Be kind to yourself. This is exhausting.

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

4 years

Just seen a man in Brixton with his mask covering only his mouth, using his nose to smoke a cigarette

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

I love him with all my being, but @elisjames loads the dishwasher like he’s on 1960s-grade LSD

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

5 years

We lost our dad on Boxing Day 2011 and every Christmas I find myself a bit wobbly, crying at lots of things, including how nice mince pies are. If anyone’s feeling wobbly too, know you’re not alone and I hope you find some moments of peace and love.

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

2 years

Hey @elisjames I’ve booked a surprise non-refundable wedding for us in France in December and booked the caterers and band - hope that’s ok! Xxxxxxxxxxxx

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

4 years

Elis is in charge of Christmas dinner. I just walked past him on his phone and he was googling “cooking”

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

4 years

Idea: an app which informs you that you have in fact got five jars of cumin in the cupboard when you’re in the supermarket and you definitely don’t need to buy another one “just in case”

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

My dear friend’s mum died in 2020 after a tremendously difficult period. At the funeral we all sat alone in masks crying, then stood in the car park socially distanced. I couldn’t hug my friend, she could barely hear me through the mask. I just cannot believe this government.

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

The most versatile emoji: Soz running 10 mins late 🤪 I forgot your birthday 🤪 I just downed a pint of Baileys 🤪 I’m leaving you and taking the kids 🤪

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

4 years

Those who don’t get much time to themselves at the moment: don’t let anyone tell you how to spend that precious time. You don’t have to do a Zoom chat if you don’t feel like it, even if you’re normally very sociable. Eating marshmallows & gazing at the ceiling is not wasted time.

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

4 years

God remember when you could just go into bars and get into bins in the toilets and chat to everyone as they washed their hands

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

This week it’s the 10 year anniversary of losing Dad and it often feels like far less. Grief moves in mysterious ways - if you’re in a similar position don’t let anyone tell you that you should be ‘over it’ by now. Treat yourself like you would your best mate, and ride the wave❤️

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

Today my daughter said “how many kids will it take to stop covid? If it’s 26 my class can do it” 😢

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

It’s publication day! My debut novel, Jane Is Trying, is out today - you can buy it at all the usual places and I would be delighted if you did! Now I’m going to eat this biscuit ❤️

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

4 years

Me to @elisjames 10 years ago: we’ve not been together for long but buy me my fifteenth tequila and let’s snog in that bin Me to @elisjames tonight: the whole family must take our worms medicine tomorrow

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

On the first day of Christmas, my true love sent to me, a daughter with a positive lateral flow* *and subsequently a cancelled trip to Wales and a supermarket delivery of a chicken, 5000 grams of cheese and copious amounts of booze

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

I always know I’m back at Mum’s when I behold her shoe storage method

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

4 years

Hmm. Turns out “giving your fringe a little trim” is a bit like opening a tube of Pringles.

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

4 years

I hate my fringe getting in my eyes, I’m a bit drunk, the only small scissors I can find are baby nail scissors, everyone’s asleep - and now I can’t fucking stop

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

4 years

Coming up to the anniversary of losing my dad. I’ve been thinking about 2 things that helped me then. One was that someone saying “how are things?” instead of “how are you?” somehow made it easier to reply honestly. 2nd was someone relaying a good memory of him, even a vague one

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

6 year old has such great questions about the ref. “Why has he got the best outfit?” “Where does he keep his cards?” “What about the reward cards?”

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

5 years

Even though we never really celebrated Fathers’ Day, I miss my dad. Sending love to anyone who had a funny, fiercely loyal Dad who isn’t here anymore. Or a dull, fairweather one. Basically anyone who’s missing their Dad. Or their mum. Anyone who’s missing anyone they love.

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

I honestly don’t recognise this country we’re living in

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

4 years

It’s 10.18pm, we’re going into tier 2, and I’m having a Baileys hot chocolate. And i feel like it’s 1999 and I’m dancing to Jesus Jones.

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

2 years

I can promise that your day will be improved by watching this

All The Right Movies

@ATRightMovies

2 years

Before he was a Hollywood actor, KEANU REEVES worked for CBC and did a news report on a Teddy Bear convention in 1984.

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

5 years

Somewhere in this house there’s a hidden stash of 1000 Calpol syringes

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

Just overheard between two 8 year old girls in toilet cubicles: Girl 1 - if you had to choose a way to die, what would it be? Girl 2 - touch the sun Girl 1 - I don’t think that’s possible Girl 2 (disappointed) - ok then, touch the core of the earth

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

Absolutely love it when you’re about to go to bed and you realise there’s a wash to hang out. I live for this feeling.

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

I am devastated for Sarah Everard’s family. I was followed home when I lived in Balham & only just made it into my flat block before the guy repeatedly shoulder barged the door, watching me through the port hole window. It’s ingrained in women to be on guard, to expect it.

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

Ran my second ever 5k today, in the rain, listening to Queen. At the risk of sounding like someone who loves running, I LOVE RUNNING.

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

The cat jumper is finally finished. It’s taken four years. Mum was put in charge of the mouths and whiskers. One is mardy and one is smug. The mouse is blissfully unaware.

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

Whenever a house has been ransacked in a TV detective drama, their living rooms are still tidier than ours

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

The sheer joy on my children’s faces when they’ve been granted permission to eat yoghurt using a Calpol syringe really is something to behold

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

4 years

Big news. There’s been an eyeshadow brush on the bathroom floor for the past four weeks and I just picked it up and put it in the cupboard. Taking the rest of the day off.

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

“Mummy, why does Santa have the same writing as the tooth fairy?” “They must have gone to the same school” “But everyone in my class has different writing” “HAVE ANOTHER CHOCOLATE COIN”

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

2 years

Friends forever

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

4 years

It’s my son’s second birthday and we decided to let him unravel a toilet roll as a treat but he said no. What the fuck! I would do this now and I’m forty-two

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

4 years

If non-comedians want to know what it’s like to die onstage, just set up a family Zoom meeting and try telling an anecdote that’s more than seven seconds long

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

Wales have won something and as a result Elis is prepared to add ‘completely unnecessary and not nutritious’ prawn toasts to our Chinese takeaway order so I guess I love sport now

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

4 years

Sure sex is great but have you tried falling asleep on the sofa watching CNN then realising as you finally get into bed that the machine is full of washing you need to hang out

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

For anyone who’s seen my recent stand up about @elisjames not filling drinks to anywhere near the top of the cup, I just asked for a glass of water and this is what he brought me

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

Morning. This calpol syringe is going to remain in here forever. Pick your battles.

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

If D.S. Arnott had to search our tip of a house for an envelope of £50 notes he’d honestly be here about 3 years

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

4 years

@TheDailyShow Please pay @MrMichaelSpicer what he’s due and credit him, or take it down. Even if you haven’t heard of him, which I doubt, do the right thing now

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

2 years

I’d love to know who the bellend who sold the Rylan video is. What a sad little life Jane. #TeamRylan

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

4 years

Getting up at 4.38am in lockdown with your baby is the best!! It just means there’s even more of the day to enjoy!!!!!!!!

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

4 years

It’s a long old slog, this year, isn’t it? If you’re finding it tough, you’re not alone. Treat yourself like you would your best mate. 💪🏻

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

This, to me, is the sight of Christmas #OneInchGap

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

In what world is one teaspoon of Nutella one portion? A portion is 4 jars, eaten with a tablespoon

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

5 years

Am I the only one who now thinks of the Alan Partridge demonstration every single time they wash their hands?

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

Very sad news about Sean Lock. He was extremely talented. Love to his friends and family.

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

5 years

Daughter is nervous about starting primary school and this evening, to illustrate that it’s compulsory, I found myself saying, “The police make everyone go to school”. Not sure this was the best idea.

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

I’m in bits at The Snowman - meanwhile my daughter can’t believe you see the boy’s bum when he’s getting dressed at the start

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

Two people have said I look like this cat and I am pleased

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

What I love most about house hunting is telling estate agents to watch Stath Lets Flats

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

6 years

It’s my Dad’s birthday today and he passed away in 2011. Every year on this day we have haggis, neeps & tatties because he was Scottish. Tomorrow we’re making cranachan for the first time. We were supposed to have it tonight but we’ve chomped down too much haggis. He was ace.

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

4 years

I don’t care where I am or what I’m doing. Once I feel a rogue chin hair I cannot function until I find a pair of tweezers.

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

4 years

Well, the best day so far in self-isolation. Our neighbour is the manager of a Nando’s and brought us 3 chickens, I managed to knit half a row, and then I saw @elisjames cry for the first time since Wales got knocked out of the Euros at the NHS clapping

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

Erm……. @elisjames you and I need to talk

John Robins

@nomadicrevery

3 years

What can I say? I love the man. It’s a deep, tender love that first caught alight towards the end of Blair’s 2nd term. So why not join me and @elisjames on Valentine’s Day evening to chat romance? Tickets:

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

5 years

I didn’t think series 1 of Fleabag could be improved on, but this series is taking my heart and raking it over hot coals on a weekly basis. It’s like she’s created a new genre of telly!

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

Elis has just bought himself another five years with me

Elis James

@elisjames

3 years

Had the pleasure of interviewing @therealMickeyT today, and we had a kickabout afterwards. He said ‘you’ve got a good first touch, but I can always tell how good a player is from their attempt at the crossbar challenge.’ Well, well, well...

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

5 years

I feel like in 1996 when I knew I’d failed A level French, my teacher knew I’d failed A level French, France knew I’d failed A level French, but I still dreamed I might have passed until I opened the envelope

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

5 years

It’s that stage of parenting where I’m constantly convinced I could write a genius, hit children’s TV show and then realise I’m so tired I can’t remember my PIN number.

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

5 years

We went to register the baby today and @elisjames gave his profession as “broadcaster” and it made me love him less and more at the same time

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

My instinctive response to the 19th July business is to want to wear two masks in public places. Five. Ten. To sew an amazing technicolour mask coat. Masky masky mask mask.

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

4 years

God I miss pubs

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

Real, real solidarity with any parents whose kids aren’t sleeping, or who - like us - had kids who slept well for a while and are now not. Things I’ve just thought about in the dark whilst lying holding my son’s hand, as the minutes danced by:

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

I have to say, this is absolutely typical of @elisjames . He’s even worse with nearly empty Blue Radox.

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

Considering he can’t cope with a slot at soft play, I’m not sure about this claim

Elis James

@elisjames

3 years

I’m convinced I have the mental resilience to cope with colossally fucking up my penalty in a shoot out

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

2 years

Um so I’ve decided that Cornwall is the best place in the universe

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

Remembered just in time that my daughter was supposed to wear something to school with a number on it

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

5 years

Just now. Mum: Have you read that book, ‘She’s Alright’? Me - Never heard of it. Mum - it’s a Costa bestseller. (Gets out ‘Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine’) Me - ‘She’s Alright’? Mum - Well that’s the gist of it. Me - Have you read it? Mum - No.

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

If you didn’t have the same cardigan as your best friend in the eighties what were you even about

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

4 years

Still laughing about the guy on here with a mate called Luke who as a kid thought “lukewarm” was a reference to the temperature Luke specifically liked his baths

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

5 months

In my defence, kindness is an underrated quality

BBC Radio 5 Live

@bbc5live

6 months

What first attracted @isysuttie to @elisjames ? Was it his chiselled jaw? His ice-cool persona? No, it was… #elisandjohn

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

4 years

Whenever I get a notification from my 7 Minute Fitness app that says “got 7 minutes?” I say out loud “7 minutes to eat a cake? Yes please” and it is really making me laugh and oh God I am losing my mind

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

4 years

To all professionals in the film, television,entertainment & arts world, join the challenge to post a photo of you in your job. Just a pic, no description. Copy the text & post a pic.

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

God I’m going to miss @shaunwkeaveny

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

2 years

Didn’t understand the Welsh bits

Angel Comedy

@angelcomedy

2 years

Let’s go

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

Happy Fathers’ Day to my dad. Can’t believe he’s been gone 10 years. I think of him every day

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

2 years

Two tips: 1. when you’re playing musical chairs you can just look up ‘musical chairs music with stops’ on YouTube so no one has to operate the music. 2. If you sip Sauvignon blanc with Dairy Milk in your mouth it tastes like a chocolate liqueur. You’re welcome.

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

Remember when Christmas was just about which pub to go to first so you didn’t bump into you-know-who, and your uncle stealing the best Quality Streets rather than, you know, *waves arms around*

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

2 years

Look into my bloodshot eyes and see a hungover gentlelady making her way back from the incredible @machcomedyfest to take up the children-shaped baton from @elisjames

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

Wish the best bit of a Fab lolly was at the end not the beginning. It’s like starting with cake and finishing with broccoli

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

4 years

Things I’ve noticed about @elisjames since spending the most time I’ve ever spent with him in 10 years: 1. He only fills glasses of squash halfway, and then insists they’re two thirds full. Why not to the top? 2. He does Mark E Smith impressions approx every hour and a half

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

None of you saw the tears and tantrums before this tweet was posted. The 500 rejected photos. The cries of, “The light isn’t right!” “I don’t look Welsh enough!” Please, to put him out of his misery, watch this show

Elis James

@elisjames

3 years

If you find this rare, pinstripe match worn Wales 1984 home shirt as inspiring as I do, why not buy a ticket for the ‘St David’s Day Eve’ livestream show I’m doing with @nomadicrevery tomorrow night. Featuring @sianharries_ ! @MikeBubbins ! Lloyd Langford!

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

5 years

Well no-one can say I don’t know what happens when you put a dirty nappy through the washing machine.

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

4 years

Going to buy a tiny kettle, a Pot Noodle and a shit hairdryer so I can feel like I’m staying in a hotel

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

#NewProfilePic

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

Really haven’t missed putting school tights on a six year old

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

5 years

Guys, I can start going to Zumba on Saturdays again!

BBC Radio 5 Live

@bbc5live

5 years

Fridays. 1-3pm. From May 31. Got plans? Cancel them! Elis James and John Robins are joining 5 Live! @nomadicrevery and @elisjames will present an entertainment show (also released as a podcast). In summer, they will launch an additional podcast. More:

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

Oddly, I like Wordle more than those other Wordle-like games because (a) you can’t give up and just find out the answer and (b) you get one per day. Wordle is like a cat that doesn’t care whether you play with it or not.

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

Hi @GWRHelp we’re on a train to Cardiff which has half the amount of carriages it should - as a result my partner and 2 young children are sitting on the floor and there’s no catering, including water. Could you tell me what compensation and explanation you’re offering please?

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Isy Suttie

@Isysuttie

3 years

Bit of a different #SuttieSweep today...my debut novel Jane Is Trying, which comes out July 22nd. You can preorder here and make my day. It's about a woman called Jane who is struggling to make her life ok against all odds #SuttieSweep #CoverReveal