Ian Power @IHPower Twitter profile

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Ian Power

@IHPower

6 years

I, for one, am a great fan of Roman numeral puns.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

2 years

“Let’s have a selfie, like the humans do.”

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Ian Power

@IHPower

4 years

Last week my brother was admitted to A&E with a severe chest infection. A bed in intensive care was requested. As someone who lives in a care home with limited mobility and slow cognitive response he didn’t make the pandemic led prioritisation cut. He died at 6.10 this morning.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

3 years

I’m sat in a London pub wearing running gear and a tinfoil cape while strangers buy me beer. Works every year. 😉🍻

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Ian Power

@IHPower

2 months

I’m sitting in a London pub wearing running gear and a tinfoil cape while strangers buy me beer. Works every year. 😉🍻

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Ian Power

@IHPower

2 years

Rishi Sunak, the perineum of the Tory front bench.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

4 years

Thank you all for your kind and loving replies. I feel a bit bad for sharing but just had to say something somewhere. I hope you all understand. x

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Ian Power

@IHPower

7 years

Or you cost a fortune and the rides aren't as good as he'd hoped for.

ParisHilton

@ParisHilton

7 years

My love surprised me & got my name tattooed in Disney font. Cause I'm his most magical place on Earth & he finally found his fairytale. 😍

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Ian Power

@IHPower

6 years

Parenting tip: find out which of your kids are at home by simply turning off the wifi.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

2 years

The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was persuading the British working classes that voting Tory was in their best interests.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

4 years

A person only truly dies when the last remaining heart they touched stops beating. For Stuart.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

6 years

She's cooked far too much of this for the kids. We'll be having words later!

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Ian Power

@IHPower

1 month

A lettuce sandwich. Thick cut either side.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

6 years

. @ParisHilton Or you cost a fortune and the rides aren't as good as he'd hoped for.

ParisHilton

@ParisHilton

7 years

My love surprised me & got my name tattooed in Disney font. Cause I'm his most magical place on Earth & he finally found his fairytale. 😍

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Ian Power

@IHPower

6 years

“No, you can’t sing Holding Back the Years at my brother’s wedding!”

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Ian Power

@IHPower

2 years

I've stacked my CDs in a reverse alphabetical order just so I can have ZZ Top.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

5 years

Every Daily Mail sold in the UK should have a gps tracker fitted in the spine. It’s time we had a national database like we do with guns. If you’re carrying it around you had better have a bloody good explanation, obvious exemptions for litter trays etc.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

7 years

A lovely pic of Ed Sheeran and his mum...

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Ian Power

@IHPower

4 years

I’m white, male, in my fifties and have a bit of money. This puts me in a key demographic for supporting the tories. But, as I get older, I find my burning hatred for the Tory party increases. I know pride is supposed to be a sin, but I’m fucking proud of that.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

7 years

When your toddler insists on dressing for the part when you take him to a military museum...

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Ian Power

@IHPower

11 years

If I had a pound for every time my girlfriend said I was a bit like 'Rain Man' I'd have 268 pounds.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

3 years

Someone bought me the U2 sat nav. It's rubbish. The streets have no names and I still haven't found what I'm looking for.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

2 years

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was persuading working class people to vote Tory.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

7 years

You do realise they're everywhere, poisoning our way of life with their strange ways and beliefs? "Immigrants?" No, Daily Mail readers.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

6 years

#GarethSouthgateWould give Neymar a hug whatever the result of the #WorldCup final game. Neymar would then roll around in agony for five minutes.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

4 years

I don't think you can beat that first early morning stretch and satisfying fart of the day. Sadly, the people on this train don't agree.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

7 months

Sorry I said “it’s probably burning him” as your baby cried during his christening.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

8 years

If anyone ever says "Give me a ballpark figure?" say 41,159. That's the capacity of Wrigley Field, home of the Chicago Cubs. You're welcome.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

2 years

I’m sitting in a London pub wearing running gear and a tinfoil cape while strangers buy me beer. Works every year. 😉🍻

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Ian Power

@IHPower

2 months

@philip_berryman Same outfit, but a rainbow ribbon for the medal 👍

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Ian Power

@IHPower

2 years

My proudest moment? It would have to be that time I persuaded Rick Astley to lend me his copy of 'Up'.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

5 years

I’m white, male, in my fifties and have a bit of money. This puts me in a key demographic for supporting the tories. But, as I get older, I find my burning hatred for the Tory party increases. I know pride is supposed to be a sin, but I’m fucking proud of that.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

6 years

No one loves a show off, mate.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

8 years

By marrying a billionaire!

MELANIA TRUMP

@MELANIATRUMP

11 years

Don't dream of success, wake up and make it happen!

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Ian Power

@IHPower

4 years

I’m taking a break from Twitter while I deal with mine and my family’s grief. However, I’ve been made aware of the thousands of sympathetic and kind replies these tweets have had. For that, I have to thank you. Kindness matters and it helps. Thank you. x

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Ian Power

@IHPower

2 years

“That’s bollocks” I mutter, before putting my phone down and roaring off in my BMW.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

3 years

I’m white, male, in my fifties and have a bit of money. This puts me in a key demographic for supporting the Tories. But, as I get older, I find my burning hatred for the Tory party increases. I know pride is supposed to be a sin, but I’m fucking proud of that.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

8 years

May you face such financial ruin you're forced to rent your forehead out as advertising space. #CurseDavidCameron

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Ian Power

@IHPower

2 years

“Is she one of mine?”

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Ian Power

@IHPower

4 years

Jarvis Cocker's Pulp were heavily influenced by 80s band Orange Juice, who in turn had been greatly influenced by 70s group Squeeze.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

7 years

Who are Beyoncé's favourite Emmerdale characters? All the Dingle ladies.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

2 years

If your offspring show signs of being fans of the Kardashians or their ilk, show them this pic and tell them these are the people they should admire and be fans of.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

4 years

My girlfriend's bought *mild* cheddar. I should dump her, shouldn't I?

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Ian Power

@IHPower

2 years

Just a little insight into the great mind of Novax Djokovic…

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Ian Power

@IHPower

4 years

You say potato, I say potato. You say tomato, I say tomato. You say aluminum and I beat you to death with an Oxford English Dictionary.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

5 years

Twitter’s full of people who are just trying to have a bit of fun. Those who reply “groan”, “lame”, “that’s terrible” etc. to people’s silly jokes just suck the fun out of Twitter. Why do it? If you don’t like an account just unfollow/mute/block. Please let others have their fun.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

4 years

I’m white, male, in my fifties and have a bit of money. This puts me in a key demographic for supporting the tories. But, as I get older, I find my burning hatred for the Tory party increases. I know pride is supposed to be a sin, but I’m fucking proud of that.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

5 years

I went to hospital with severe food poisoning last night after eating haggis, neeps and tatties. Fortunately they have an excellent Burns unit.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

3 years

It's strange how all my relationships have been with women who roll their eyes a lot.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

6 years

There are lovely people, arseholes and everything in between amongst every race, religion and nationality. If you believe you’re better because of your race, religion or nationality you’re definitely in the arsehole end of that spectrum.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

5 years

I’m sat in a London pub wearing running gear and a tinfoil cape while strangers buy me beer. Works every year. 😉🍻

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Ian Power

@IHPower

6 years

"How did your first day at work go, Timothy?" "Not great…"

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Ian Power

@IHPower

3 years

My girlfriend keeps saying I look better without glasses. It wouldn’t bother me but she’s the one who wears them.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

4 years

As Britain shuts down, those in the NHS are working twice as hard. They are and have always been the true heroes of this country.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

10 years

I'll never forget the day I asked my father whether I was adopted. He sat me down and gently said "no, but it's my greatest regret, Ian".

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Ian Power

@IHPower

5 years

As if altar boys don’t have enough to worry about.

Pope Francis

@Pontifex

5 years

In order to pray well, we need to have the heart of a child.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

5 years

Or you cost a fortune and the rides aren't as good as he'd hoped for.

ParisHilton

@ParisHilton

7 years

My love surprised me & got my name tattooed in Disney font. Cause I'm his most magical place on Earth & he finally found his fairytale. 😍

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Ian Power

@IHPower

4 years

I’ll be glad to see the back of 2019. It’s been a shit year for me. I hope yours was better. And 2020 will be better still. Anyway, Happy New Year, Twitter. Don’t let the bastards grind you down! xx

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Ian Power

@IHPower

3 years

I wrapped 23 Christmas presents while drinking brandy last night. Present 1 looks like it was wrapped by Chanel, 23 by an angry toddler.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

6 years

Imagine Trump’s anger when the audiobook of ‘Fire and Fury’ comes out and his supporters get to find out what’s in it!

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Ian Power

@IHPower

3 years

I’m a great believer of moderation in all things. Except hating Tories. Fill your fuckin’ boots with that one.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

7 years

Someone lent me the U2 sat nav. It's rubbish! The streets have no names and I still haven't found what I'm looking for.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

4 years

Fool people into thinking you've passed your Advanced Driving Test by simply using indicators at roundabouts. @TwopTwips

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Ian Power

@IHPower

6 years

What did you get for Christmas? I got another chin.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

3 years

Although I'm 55-years-old, whenever I see a bouncy castle I still have the urge to have a go. I hope I never lose that.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

1 year

I’m white, male, in my fifties and have a bit of money. This puts me in a key demographic for supporting the Tories. But, as I get older, I find my burning hatred for the Tory party increases. I know pride is supposed to be a sin, but I’m fucking proud of that.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

7 years

Fool people into thinking you've passed your Advanced Driving Test by simply using indicators at roundabouts.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

3 years

Sadly, I’ll be self-isolating for Christmas. I haven’t got COVID, I just don’t like my family.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

5 years

Breaking news: Theresa May has admitted she once took a second dose of aspirin before the recommended four hours had elapsed.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

7 years

Overheard: "What sort of a fucking church isn't near a pub?"

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Ian Power

@IHPower

4 years

Fool people into thinking you've passed your Advanced Driving Test by simply using indicators at roundabouts. @TwopTwips

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Ian Power

@IHPower

5 years

Twitter’s full of people who are just trying to have a bit of fun. Those who reply “groan”, “lame”, “that’s terrible” etc. to people’s silly jokes just suck the fun out of Twitter. Why do it? If you don’t like an account just unfollow/mute/block. Please let others have their fun.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

4 years

My girlfriend keeps saying I look better without glasses. It wouldn’t bother me but she’s the one who wears them.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

10 years

While my girlfriend's away for two weeks I'm going to build a patio. I don't want a patio, I just want to freak out my neighbours.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

8 years

. @realDonaldTrump Yeah, Paris in Germany is in a terrible mess!

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Ian Power

@IHPower

4 years

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Ian Power

@IHPower

5 years

“How much for the antidepressants?” "They're cream eclairs, Sir!" “...How much?”

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Ian Power

@IHPower

3 years

I got a dog because I prefer them to people. Now people keep talking to me because I have a dog.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

3 years

When you try on your Summer clothes.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

2 years

I’m white, male, in my fifties and have a bit of money. This puts me in a key demographic for supporting the Tories. But, as I get older, I find my burning hatred for the Tory party increases. I know pride is supposed to be a sin, but I’m fucking proud of that.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

4 years

Sign in Colchester town centre.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

5 years

My friends, Dave and Laura, are holding a joint party for Chinese New Year and Burns Night, calling it Chinese-Burns Night. He wasn't keen but she twisted his arm.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

8 years

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: marry rich. #FamousMelaniaTrumpQuotes

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Ian Power

@IHPower

7 years

Someone lent me the U2 sat nav. It's rubbish! The streets have no names and I still haven't found what I'm looking for.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

2 years

Fucking foreigners, coming over here and saying something sensible!

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Ian Power

@IHPower

11 years

I bet foreplay with MC Hammer is a nightmare.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

7 years

Recreate the IKEA experience by going on a long and tedious walk before eating meatballs. @TwopTwips

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Ian Power

@IHPower

7 years

I’m fairly confident that most of those who care about the colour of a passport are also the sort of people who care about the colour of a person’s face.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

4 years

There wouldn’t have been a Badly Drawn Boy if his dad had used a rubber.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

3 years

When your toddler insists on dressing for the part when you take him to a military museum...

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Ian Power

@IHPower

4 years

My boss gave me a pamphlet on anger management. I lost it.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

3 years

Lewis Hamilton, there. Channeling the ghosts of Prince and 1970’s television reception.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

3 years

A friend sent me this. It made me laugh.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

11 months

“You boy. Is Rishi Sunak still a smarmy cunt?”

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Ian Power

@IHPower

8 years

Parenting tip: find out which of your kids are at home by simply turning off the wifi.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

4 years

In all fairness, you should be ashamed of who you are. Very ashamed.

Nigel Farage

@Nigel_Farage

4 years

The woke agenda is to make us ashamed of who we are.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

5 years

Make no mistake about it, the Tories will have no qualms about fucking over the people of Northern Ireland if it suits their Brexit aims. In fact, they’d do it to the Scots, Welsh, the North, the working class and anyone who isn’t one of them. Complete cunts, the lot of them.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

8 years

Because I can't afford proper therapy. #WhyICantLeaveTwitter

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Ian Power

@IHPower

3 years

Oxo is my stock answer when I'm asked for a palindrome.

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Ian Power

@IHPower

4 years

I see Boris Johnson has lectured us on the perils of obesity. What’s next: Gove on lying? Patel on smugness? Raab on ignorance? Rees-Mogg on elitism? Francois on stupidity? Cunts.

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