Jenny Doesnt Know @HighlyIngenious Twitter profile

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

6 months

My birthstone is a chunk of sharp cheddar cheese

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

4 months

*Jennifer Coolidge voice* I want an ice cream sandwich real bad

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@HighlyIngenious

8 months

You should be able push a little button behind your ear & you instantly fall asleep

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@HighlyIngenious

6 months

Get in loser, we’re driving off a cliff

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@HighlyIngenious

6 months

There was a show I wanted to start watching but I dont remember the name of it or what streaming service it was on or what it was about

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

6 months

If the FBI is watching me I know they’re so fucking bored

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

6 months

I cleaned the bathroom & that wasn’t even on the agenda for today. I deserve a treat.

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

6 months

My time is precious. Please don’t waste it by not being funny.

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

8 months

How do you approach someone you find attractive? I don’t. I go about my business & just make up scenarios of what could’ve happened for the rest of my life.

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

1 year

Hear me out, Weird Al performs at the next Super Bowl halftime show & the artists he parodies joins him on stage to sing along

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

6 months

Studies have found that I should go back to bed & try to reset the day

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

10 months

Is there a patron saint of procrastination?

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

7 months

Ride or die? Gas is expensive, let’s just die

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@HighlyIngenious

7 months

Going back to bed & curling into a tight little ball to ignore it all is probably the best thing for me

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

9 months

What’s it called when you want a snack but you just had one

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@HighlyIngenious

7 months

The best thing about sleep is it’s a time machine to breakfast

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

8 months

I wish tossing & turning burned shitloads of calories

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

8 months

You miss 100% of the bites of cheese you don’t take

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

6 months

I told Satan “not today,” & scheduled him in for next Tuesday

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

6 months

Sorry I can't make it. I'm busy being depressed.

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

6 months

Me: it all started to fall apart around 1982 Therapist: That’s the year you were born Me: exactly

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

8 months

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that I need more money.

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@HighlyIngenious

6 years

My family crest is a bowl of Mac & cheese

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

6 months

Bringing a flask of chocolate milk with me anytime I leave the house

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@HighlyIngenious

8 months

Sorry I stabbed you. I wanted to see if you were cake.

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

7 years

I'm getting really good at not doing the things I say I'm going to do.

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

8 months

Hello? Yes, this Wednesday has no humping. I’d like a refund.

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

7 months

It’s ok if I don’t amuse you. I amuse me & that’s all that matters.

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

6 months

Once upon a time there was a girl who didn’t wait til last minute to do important things

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

7 months

Looking for an affordable vacation to the Bermuda Triangle

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@HighlyIngenious

1 year

Normalize leaving people alone when they’re reading

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

4 months

Some of my biggest problems come from waking up in the morning

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@HighlyIngenious

6 months

Them: I’ll pray for you Me: can I have money instead?

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@HighlyIngenious

9 months

My smile lights up the psych ward

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

1 year

It’s so hard to be Fergalicious in this economy

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

8 months

A scalding hot shower so your demons get clean too

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

2 years

Anytime I see Nick Cannon trending I have to assume he’s got another baby coming

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

8 months

Mike’s Hard time getting out of bed

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

8 months

Mike’s Hard time figuring out what to make for dinner

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

3 months

I need an IV of cheese

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

11 months

I’m tired of giving friendly advice. I’m going to start offering violent alternatives

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

1 year

Don’t touch those! They’re my emotional support stack of unread books.

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

5 months

There aren’t enough songs about placentas falling to the floor

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

7 months

As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I take a look in my fridge & realize there’s no cheese left

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

8 months

Idk how the human species survived before macaroni & cheese

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

7 months

I need a shower so hot it washes five years from my life

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

8 months

Studies have found that I don’t get into any trouble if I just stay in bed all day

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

6 months

Kinda wanna eat ice cream then bathe in the blood of my enemies

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

6 months

All I did today was daydream about setting people on fire

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

7 months

Someone replied to one of my tweets with “bless your heart” & I blocked them. I’m from the south. I know what that means.

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

6 months

Saying “Candyman” five times in the mirror so I don’t have to go to jury duty tomorrow

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

6 months

You know what’s not that expensive & makes me happy? Staying at home on a Friday night

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

4 months

Get in loser, we’re going down to Fraggle Rock

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

7 months

I’d date someone who’s lactose intolerant. More cheese for me.

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

9 months

The sixth element is cheese

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

2 months

I tried listening to some new music that’s on the charts & let me tell you, I’ll never make that mistake again.

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

6 months

Them: you didn’t watch Pearl Harbor? Me: I don’t like war movies. Them: it’s a love story. Me: gross. That’s even worse.

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

9 months

Welcome to Sunday. No matter what you do, tomorrow is still Monday.

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

7 months

When in doubt, choose cheese

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

4 months

Sitting alone on the couch thinking about cheese

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

7 months

Willy Wonka’s factory but for cheese

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

1 year

A lobotomy would really hit the spot right now

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

8 months

*I show up at the party* Host: We’re gonna need a bigger cheese tray

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

5 months

Sometimes all you need is a big bowl of cereal

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

8 months

Mike’s Hard time getting to sleep

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

7 months

Only two more cemeteries to hit up tonight & I’ll have my parts. Then I can get to work on my summer body.

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

9 months

I found a book on ancient demonology. Nothing could go wrong with me reading a few lines out loud.

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

6 months

I don’t know about you, but I could go for a plate of assorted cheeses right now

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@HighlyIngenious

8 months

A Muppet horror movie where they’re trying to survive a crazed killer

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

8 months

Shhh! My emotional support Metallica is playing

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@HighlyIngenious

9 months

That’s it. I’m ordering pizza. That’ll fix me.

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@HighlyIngenious

7 months

You have to learn to control the cheese. Don’t let it control you.

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@HighlyIngenious

8 months

Im starting to think I shouldn’t have taken this amulet from the old cemetery in that deserted town last summer

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@HighlyIngenious

6 months

I don’t like the person I become when people show up at my house unannounced

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

9 months

Past me was smart to buy ice cream for now me

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

1 month

Sometimes I read the stupidest shit in here then realize I wrote it

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

29 days

It’s like 10,000 naps when all you need is a coma

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

6 months

If the Goo Goo Dolls combine with the Foo Fighters we get Foo Foo Dolls

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

6 months

Life is short, drink more chocolate milk

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

17 days

Welcome to Twitter where you’ll discover you’re not the craziest person you know

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

1 month

Cheese is always trending in my heart

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@HighlyIngenious

7 months

I’ll be glad when March is over. I’m mad enough as it is.

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@HighlyIngenious

8 months

I’m on my live, laugh, murder shit again

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

7 months

There’s no need to reply to my cheese tweets with “I don’t like cheese.” Keep your unhappiness to yourself.

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

7 months

Starting a GoFundMe for my cheese addiction

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

9 months

I need a Muppet as a roommate so there’s someone here to go on silly adventures with, to give me little pep talks & sing to me when I’m down.

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

3 months

Beware of those who interfere with your party rocking

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

8 months

I’m out of milkshakes so I’m hoping these pop tarts will bring the boys to the yard

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

5 months

The secret to saving money when going grocery shopping is crime

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@HighlyIngenious

7 months

The exorcism I performed yesterday went wrong. Apparently I let in MORE demons.

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

1 year

The main reason I want to be a vampire is so I have time to read all the books I want

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@HighlyIngenious

8 months

Gimmie fuel Gimmie fire Gimmie all the cookies I desire

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Jenny Doesnt Know

@HighlyIngenious

2 months

Get in loser, we’re going to rage against the machine

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@HighlyIngenious

1 year

If you invite me over the first thing I’m doing is inspecting your cheese drawer

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@HighlyIngenious

3 months

Imagine getting hit by a hearse. They can just pick you up & keep going.

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@HighlyIngenious

7 months

Every short person has a step ladder in their kitchen

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@HighlyIngenious

1 year

I got knocked down, but refuse to get up again. Someone bring me a pillow & blanket.

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@HighlyIngenious

7 months

This is my turkey & cheese sandwich. There are many like it, but this is my own.

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@HighlyIngenious

9 months

What doesn’t kill you gives you a another good reason to eat cheesy garlic bread

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