Heather McMahan Profile
Heather McMahan

@HeatherKMcMahan

10,356
Followers
670
Following
181
Media
855
Statuses

comedian & actress with a thick neck and thin ankles. doing the most and the least at the same damn time.

NYC, ATL, LA
Joined June 2009
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
4 years
Who the fuck needs to bowl THAT BAD?? Jesus take the wheel and drive me to the liquor store for a refresh bc I’m gonna be home drinking while I watch my state burn to the ground. Atlanta what’s happening???
@ajc
Atlanta Journal-Constitution
4 years
#BREAKING : Gov. Kemp's order will allow gyms, bowling alleys, salons and some other indoor facilities to reopen this Friday. Restaurants will also be allowed to reopen on April 27 if they meet guidelines.
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
4 years
Burned my taint today with hot coffee I’m not even kidding. I wish I was, but I’m not. Legit don’t even know what to say...
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
2 years
We made it in an @OldNavy commercial!!!!!!!!
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
5 years
I’m friggin freezing in nyc. I’m dressed like a mob wife who gave up on herself. #nyc gearing up for the #thefarewelltour #thickneckthinankles
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
4 years
Dave just smoked a sigh of relief cig for all of us and crushed it!! #snl
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
5 years
I dont really know how to werk the twitters. Can someone come show me. Plz & thanks
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
5 years
Jeffrey Epstein jokes out the gate!?? This is amazing. Ricky thank you thank you thank you! Thank your agent, thank your God and fuck off. Brilliant #goldenglobes
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
5 years
This entire press conference by Trump is like watching the time John Travolta tried to pronounce @idinamenzel name at an award show. She didnt deserve that and the American people don’t either, lol this is wild!!!
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
5 years
Busy...does nichole not realize that hand jobs are still work? I mean come on now I’m exhausted. 😜
@BusyPhilipps
Busy Philipps
5 years
@thenicholeb @HeatherKMcMahan Awwww honey, YOU'RE cute. And very wrong. I've had many jobs. I've worked since I was 15 years old. In retail and restaurants, as a nanny and a children's theater teacher and THEN YES on sets in Hollywood and as an author who wrote a New York Times best selling book.
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
4 years
Watching #waco and lemme tell you what... I trust no one. Legit no one now. How y’all feeling after this insanity?!im feeling some type’ way.
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
5 years
Everyone was beyond uncomfortable with the opening of the Oscars just now, I’m here for it, but that front row was like.... noooooooo #Oscar2020
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
5 years
Fuck yes we are! HOE EXOTIC FOR LIFE!!!
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
5 years
Well Joaquin, that was.... festive. YOLO, ROFL, LOl jkjkhkjkhk the Hehehehe Heheheh
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
4 years
@cnni Well shit things are looking up after all! Also this is legit the best news I’ve heard in months.
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
5 years
Oh snap what’s Chyna doing at da Oscars?!!!! Is Rob there?!!! I’m falling out right now #Oscar2020
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
4 years
@schultzl01 Lorrrriiii my angel, i barely use twitter but after looking at ya page, man you seem like a good time. Loving the profile pic of the matlipoo & the American flag, 💦
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
5 years
Me too sister, me too.
@galawlady
Ashley McMahan
5 years
30s me > 20s me. I am more productive bc I have to fit more things into the time I’m not tired.
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
5 years
@Alorapaigey I feel like I’m cheating on someone by doing so, and also I don’t really know how to TWAT but we’re trying
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
4 years
@MaraDavis Legit I have no idea how this TWATTER works. TRULY LOST :$&?!-:;
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
5 years
@brownsean @idinamenzel Sean, Parties aside did you watch what I just watched? Also Southerners aren’t all Republicans, Come on now. We do all LOVE macaroni & cheese though. That is a FACT!!!
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
5 years
@JamesCraigmyle I’m here!!! Let’s do it!!!
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
4 years
@accrowley @CassandraYoung I didnt vote him! What the hell shawty.
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
5 years
@Carbutt11 I’m back, still hungry as ever
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
5 years
@cyrusbolooki @RoxianTheatre Love y’all!!! Break a leg tonight!!
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
5 years
Love billy!!!
@julesp321
julie
5 years
@HeatherKMcMahan @theebillyporter was amazing and I’m here for it 🙌🏻🏆
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
4 years
@oneartistchic Hahahaha girl I need booze bc I’m stressed the fuck out! I’m living in a shitshow
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
12 years
@kjothesmartass I am seriously your twin! Im a comedian from NYC/ATL and legit need to play your sister in the show! http://t.co/8cNyfwvh
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
5 years
@CarCarrrrr Yes Carley here for this enthusiasm when I need one I’m calling ya
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
5 years
Katherine need all the helpzzzzz
@kwrundell
Katherine Rundell
5 years
@HeatherKMcMahan sounds like we need another meeting at Gemma stat
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
4 years
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
4 years
@RachelClarkk Love you my OG angel!
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
5 years
@AmburnVictoria Love you baby
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
5 years
@shelbynicholeh How does one werk the tweets like what’s poppin
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
4 years
@accrowley @CassandraYoung Only thing I’m gonna ease up on are the jeans that are cutting off my circulation from anxiously snacking. Anyone know how to stop?!
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
4 years
@kelljokrause Burned it at the Starbucks drive thru. Lid wasn’t on and it straight burned my cooch,
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
4 years
@_abigirl_ Yes I was like damn girl is calm as the sea in the spring.
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
5 years
@brownsean @idinamenzel Oh for sure butter!!!!! Butter is life!!!!! We need butter!!!!
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
13 years
Just ran into Emma stone and her spiderman boyfriend making out..love this fucking city #backinnyc
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
4 years
@Satcom_Guru Just saw this, this was my grandfather. So cool to see pilots still reading about him!
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
5 years
@brownsean @gmail Wow, I’m seriously hurt Gmail, WOW
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
13 years
Red wine and cream soda is the new, staten island drink of choice. #bigange #mobwives #lipfillersandacrylicnails
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
5 years
@_lana_del_bay_ I am truly trying to do the most!
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
12 years
@lennonparham & @Jessica_StClair the "fatal blowout" episode is beyond words amazing!! Y'all are brilliant! Love it! #bffisthetits
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
15 years
3 days till the big move to NYC. barrett has no idea what he got himself into, by rooming with me.
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
5 years
@13_JILLybean_13 Hopefully within the next 30
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
4 years
@knockknockerica Hahahaha OMG no but it does sound like her
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
5 years
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
4 years
@hellomim20 Honestly I think you’re right! Mcmahan 2020?!!!
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
5 years
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
5 years
@THETimHaynes hey there! I gotta have you come on my podcast! It would be an honor! I’ve got the #1 podcast on iTunes called “absolutely not”. Would love to interview you!
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
4 years
@Irishgi32780358 @npafangirl @cnni No shit! He brutally starved his people, fuck him!
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
12 years
My dad is getting honored by the boy scouts right now, can we say adorable?!!! #daddy ! #americA ! http://t.co/3P6yhj5G
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
5 years
@madzkilchrist Hit ya on the tweets Tooo girl
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
14 years
I met Joan rivers!! She gave me mardi GRAS beads!! My life is complete
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
12 years
All I do on pinterest is pin tons of dips and cake recipes then feel guilty and pin exercise and diet techniques #goddamnucupcakerecipe
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
15 years
is actually in love with Delta, my kitty that is. And anti-cat people are just fools... open your hearts people to felines! HA. Losing it
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
13 years
Friends and lovers, my episode of cashcab will air tomorrow, Thursday, Jan 26th at 630pm on the discovery channel! Tune in!
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
12 years
Ladies and gentlemen I present, Robin McMahan RT @robinmcmahan : Sitting at the bushy tushie there must be 50 people in here for a wax
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
4 years
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
15 years
BEING A DELICIOUS DIVA
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
5 years
@Umbreonbest @JennieSTaer I was bamboozled!!!
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
5 years
@Umbreonbest @JennieSTaer Shit someone sent it to me and told me their dad took it
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@HeatherKMcMahan
Heather McMahan
5 years
@INAMULLEN Shit -2 ? That’s on you. Personal foul, Ina, personal freakin foul. 😂🔥🚬🤷🏼‍♀️
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