Hal O' be thy name. @Halbeerz Twitter profile

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Hal O' be thy name.

@Halbeerz

4 years

Picked a bad year to quit sniffing glue.

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Hal O' be thy name.

@Halbeerz

28 days

I don't know how old America turns tomorrow but I'm thinking it's fucking old enough to know better.

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@Halbeerz

1 month

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@Halbeerz

11 years

Quit smoking 5 years ago today. Now I'm addicted to telling everyone how long it's been since I quit smoking

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@Halbeerz

2 years

John Goodman is trending. Probably because he's been good in everything he's ever done.

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@Halbeerz

11 years

"So You've Been Drinking and Think You Can Dance" now that's a reality show I would watch.

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@Halbeerz

8 months

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@Halbeerz

13 years

Girlfriend just called me by my full given name.This is gonna end poorly.

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Hal O' be thy name.

@Halbeerz

3 years

Any time Ted Nugent is trending you know it won't be because he put out a good album..

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Hal O' be thy name.

@Halbeerz

12 years

Marilyn Monroe died 50 years ago today,and yet she is still more relevant than all the Kardashians combined

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Hal O' be thy name.

@Halbeerz

7 months

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Hal O' be thy name.

@Halbeerz

12 years

The only reason my marriage lasted as long as it did was my jar opening skills

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@Halbeerz

13 years

Don't follow me. I'm lost too

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@Halbeerz

2 years

I just blocked someone for talking shit about Adam Ant. Not fucking around over here.

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@Halbeerz

12 years

Whats this kids eat free bullshit. When was the last time you saw a 4 year old pick up the lunch tab??They always eat free

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@Halbeerz

5 months

Is the Royal Family hiring? I'm lazy as fuck but pretty sure I could handle some "Royal duties".

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@Halbeerz

12 years

Are the drugs working or not working. No idea because I can't stop starring at my feet. My amazing feet

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@Halbeerz

8 months

Opened the curtains. Saw this...

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@Halbeerz

1 month

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@Halbeerz

7 years

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas.

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@Halbeerz

11 days

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@Halbeerz

4 months

So..

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@Halbeerz

12 years

After what happened to Lance Armstrong I'm kinda worried they are gonna come after my bowling trophies

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@Halbeerz

1 year

Me:

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@Halbeerz

4 months

Me

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@Halbeerz

13 years

If I like my job am I a "gruntled" employee??

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@Halbeerz

7 years

Schrodinger's Immigrant.

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@Halbeerz

4 years

If Jesus returns he needs to self quarantine for 14 days. I don't care who his Dad is. No special treatment.

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@Halbeerz

11 years

So Nickelback is playing a flood relief concert for Alberta. Like those folks haven't suffered enough.

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@Halbeerz

13 years

At the mall a woman said to her kid"Boys who don't listen don't get treats". I hope he listened. Truer words were never spoken.

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@Halbeerz

13 years

I don't have moves like Jagger. More like Keith Richards. I just kinda stumble and lurch around.

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@Halbeerz

18 days

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4 years

I'm Canadian and all in favour of Dolly Parton statues. Everywhere.

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@Halbeerz

4 years

37 years at my job today. I thought there would be cake. Or at least a good morning..

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@Halbeerz

13 years

Saturday morning and I\m watching Scooby Do. Like the last 40 years never happened.

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@Halbeerz

3 years

Alice Cooper is trending for being a good human. Big fan of both.

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@Halbeerz

3 years

Jesus is trending. Just gonna assume it's because he's dating Pete Davidson.

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@Halbeerz

7 months

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@Halbeerz

6 years

Saudi Arabia publicly " humiliated " Canada? Sorry @CBC but I am pretty sure what we are feeling isn't humiliation, not even fucking close.

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@Halbeerz

3 months

Don't

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7 years

Canadian Thanksgiving weekend and Canadians have never been more thankful just to be Canadian.

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@Halbeerz

9 years

I've never hated a neighbour enough to get wind chimes.

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@Halbeerz

9 years

I'm old. My drunken ramblings are now called " Advice"

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@Halbeerz

12 years

My only regrets involve a Klondike bar

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@Halbeerz

13 years

Sperm bank in Vancouver no longer accepting donations from red heads, I blame Twitter.

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@Halbeerz

2 years

What about people impersonating Christians? Twitter is full of those fuckers.

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@Halbeerz

4 months

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11 months

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@Halbeerz

7 months

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3 years

Bryan Adams is 62 today. So in the Summer of 69 he was heading into grade 4. Who the fuck considers grade 4 the best days of their life?

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@Halbeerz

2 years

Tom Jones is trending and I got a little concerned. Been a tough couple of days..

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@Halbeerz

1 year

Jordan Peterson and Rex Murphy are trending. I'm assuming worst sex tape ever.

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@Halbeerz

4 years

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@Halbeerz

5 years

Keith Richards is 76 today. That's like 500 in human years.

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@Halbeerz

2 years

Just be glad it wasn't Tommy Lee with the nuclear secrets and Trump posting full frontal nudity.

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@Halbeerz

5 years

So the Princess Bride is trending because apparently there's someone out there who hasn't seen it. Inconceivable.

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@Halbeerz

12 years

Why is the cat staring at me. btw I don't own any pets

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@Halbeerz

4 years

So is the woman who ate 48.5 hotdogs yesterday single?

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Hal O' be thy name.

@Halbeerz

11 months

40 years ago today...

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Hal O' be thy name.

@Halbeerz

6 years

Pack your bags, they found water on Mars. Enough of this fucking shit show.

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Hal O' be thy name.

@Halbeerz

6 years

Sesame Street now has a new homeless character. I guess Oscar lived in a garbage can because he fucking wanted to.

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@Halbeerz

4 months

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@Halbeerz

4 years

Self isolating involves doing way more dishes than they mention in the brochure.

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@Halbeerz

8 months

The perfect tree doesn't exi-

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@Halbeerz

3 years

52 years ago we were watching the Moon landing. Afterwards I wanted to be an astronaut. After this morning I no longer want to pay taxes.

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@Halbeerz

4 months

Left the house before noon for a change.

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@Halbeerz

13 years

been asleep on the couch. Hows my hair?

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@Halbeerz

21 days

Went out. Wasn't awful.

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@Halbeerz

7 months

The stuff you find when you're looking for something else.

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@Halbeerz

3 years

90 seconds..

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@Halbeerz

4 years

Geraldo telling anyone to act with "grace and dignity" is fucking hysterical.

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@Halbeerz

2 years

They can't make you change your clock. My clock. My choice.

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@Halbeerz

3 years

Quit smoking 13 years ago today. Now I am addicted to telling people how long it's been since I quit smoking.

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@Halbeerz

27 days

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@Halbeerz

6 years

I'd forgotten Bruce Willis used to have hair. I wonder what other crazy shit happened in the 80's.

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@Halbeerz

4 years

71 days left? It's like the advent calendar from Hell.

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@Halbeerz

2 years

The new James Bond is a black mermaid? Can't fucking wait.

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@Halbeerz

18 days

Went out. Wasn't awful

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@Halbeerz

4 years

Canada Post is my weed guy. Don't be fucking with my weed guy.

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@Halbeerz

6 months

Having a gay child doesn't mean you have failed as a parent. But thinking that it does shows your parents did.

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@Halbeerz

2 years

Rex Murphy, Rebel News and Stephen Harper all trending. It's the trifecta of Canadian ugliness.

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@Halbeerz

4 years

1st call to Trudeau not Putin. Well that's fucking refreshing.

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@Halbeerz

6 years

Keith Richards..

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@Halbeerz

9 months

Was woken up by the sound of sleigh bells. Motherfucker.

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@Halbeerz

3 years

Canada's keeping the border closed. Not covid related, we're still just pissed about the shit the last guy said about us.

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@Halbeerz

4 years

Maybe too much garlic. Kidding. There's no such thing.

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@Halbeerz

5 months

Fucking miserable out there

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@Halbeerz

4 years

I lived through the 80's. I'm not afraid of bad haircuts.

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@Halbeerz

15 days

Went out. Wasn't awful.

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@Halbeerz

2 years

Banana bread in the oven, smoking weed and cranking Grand Funk. I get more like my Grandmother every day.

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@Halbeerz

7 months

When

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@Halbeerz

3 years

Got my booster and I'm high as fuck. Probably has something to do with all the weed I smoked when I got home but I'm not a fucking doctor over here.

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Hal O' be thy name.

@Halbeerz

3 years

Got high. Made banana bread. Like I was new to the pandemic.

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@Halbeerz

9 months

It's back..

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@Halbeerz

6 years

Drinking green tea out of a Sex Pistols mug. It's what all middle age punk rockers do.

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@Halbeerz

4 years

Mike Pence is trending. I'm gonna assume he challenged Taylor Swift to a wrestling match.

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@Halbeerz

5 years

I blocked someone for saying Canadians aren't funny. I'm not fucking around over here.

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@Halbeerz

4 years

Scott Baio is trending. I am just gonna assume it's because he's still a douche.

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@Halbeerz

7 years

Troubled Wisconsin Man...

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@Halbeerz

9 months

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