thenotoriousguy@bsky.social @GuyDorrellEsq Twitter profile

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@GuyDorrellEsq

3 years

My rules for life (not exhaustive):

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

Who’s becoming more left wing as they get older?

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

Why did a company with two directors, a share capital of £101 get a £109m government contract for PPE without going through tender?

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

Fuck I really want to live in Scotland. There, I’ve said it.

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@GuyDorrellEsq

5 years

Who feels like leaving the UK and starting afresh somewhere?

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

What I always find most upsetting is that people like Trump, Johnson and Gove would, without connections and white privilege, struggle to get promoted to managing a Poundland shop

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

OK, so I’ve got a conundrum, and I can’t figure it out. I’ve seen a shit tonne of disapproval and tutting from men about Naga laughing at the Jenrick flag remark, but I’ve not seen any directed at Charlie, who made the remark. Why on earth could this be?🤷🏼‍♂️ I’m mystified.

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@GuyDorrellEsq

3 years

94 people died from Covid today. 96 people died in the 1989 Hillsborough stadium disaster, which led to a public enquiry and permanent changes to legislation

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@GuyDorrellEsq

3 years

In other news, that nobody seems to give a shit about anymore, 103 Covid deaths were recorded today

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@GuyDorrellEsq

5 years

I am seriously considering looking into buying a French village, for disenchanted Britons

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

I must be the only person in the UK without an Irish grandparent, dammit

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@GuyDorrellEsq

5 years

Things we learnt tonight - bots can’t clap

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@GuyDorrellEsq

3 years

The description of Laurence Fox as "Waitrose Tommy Robinson" is so poetic it should be made Laureate

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@GuyDorrellEsq

2 years

Just a thought; @krishgm has served more time suspended than Braverman

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@GuyDorrellEsq

3 years

I have more rage in me at forty-something than ever I did at 18

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@GuyDorrellEsq

2 years

@BootstrapCook This is a Police matter, Jack

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@GuyDorrellEsq

3 years

The Tories 2021: Foreigners using the NHS = bad Foreigners owning the NHS = good

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

A good friend of mine, who’s on here but obviously I won’t name, has been clean of drugs for months now through sheer willpower and determination to make even just a little bit of society better. Can we applaud them please?

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@GuyDorrellEsq

6 years

Ok, if there’s an extension and the UK is eligible for the Euro elections, would you help crowdfund a candidate standing against Farage?

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

Why doesn’t the EU offer any UK applicant associate EU citizenship? It would devastate Brexit

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

I’m getting the vague sensation that it is dawning on a great number of people just how fucking awful things are going to be, as of January

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

At the stroke of midnight on the 31st I’ll raise an ‘au revoir’ glass to the EU. Anyone care to join me?

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

You fell onto the railway tracks and three times we hauled you back onto the platform. Finally, you threw yourself in front of the on-coming train, and it's somehow our fault?

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@GuyDorrellEsq

3 years

Incidentally, in the past 4 weeks Tesco tinned chilli con carne has gone from 59p to £1.00. Nothing to do with Brexit, natch

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

Northern Ireland is a tinderbox because of Brexit. The news outlets may be suppressing it now, but it will get out of hand and won’t be able to be ignored

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

If I were rich, I’d get a large speed boat and rescue and many migrants as I could and deliver them safely to shore in Kent

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@GuyDorrellEsq

3 years

The trade I really want to do with New Zealand is of Prime Ministers

Andrew Pierce

@toryboypierce

3 years

The usual suspects will mock but a trade deal with #NewZealand is an important part of rebuilding trade links with the Commonwealth which we should never have neglected

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

I’m now in the odd position of thinking that the Republic will take better care of the people of Northern Ireland, and so Ireland should unify. Brexit has turned me Republican

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

Get all the way to fuck. Archbishop of Canterbury tells Remainers to ‘stop whingeing’ and accept Brexit

Archbishop of Canterbury tells Remainers to 'stop whingeing' over Brexit

The Archbishop of Canterbury has urged Remainers to “stop whingeing” and accept the result of the Brexit referendum. Most Rev Justin Welby said those who voted to stay in the EU must now “take seri…

www.thesun.co.uk

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@GuyDorrellEsq

5 years

Spain did this. Then, one day, all Spanish air traffic controllers - to a man and woman - reported sick on the same day. Boris Johnson vows to ban all-out strikes on public transport

Boris Johnson vows to ban all-out strikes on public transport

PM says sorry for describing Muslim women in veils as ‘letterboxes’ and promises EU trade deal by end of 2020

www.theguardian.com

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@GuyDorrellEsq

2 years

I have identified a likely solution to energy price hikes; I’ve driven 5 hours and 10 minutes across England today without seeing a single onshore wind turbine. This too is the fault of the Conservative Party

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@GuyDorrellEsq

3 years

Bumped into my mate yesterday in Marks and Spencer Foodhall, she wasn’t wearing a mask :( She’s a GP.

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

#ProjectFear is trending. Well, Project Fear in six months will become Project Fact and then in short order will become Project Fucked

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@GuyDorrellEsq

5 years

That’s because you prefer whites

Nigel Farage MP

@Nigel_Farage

5 years

Disappointing choice. Past its best, now leaves a bitter taste.

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

It’s a legitimate act of resistance to this government to work from home as much as possible. Discuss

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@GuyDorrellEsq

3 years

I'm banging this drum quite a lot today, but I don't think that the magnitude of the problem is being appreciated

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@GuyDorrellEsq

5 years

Some things I have observed: I have Johnson’s tweets on notify, I often get to them within 2 or 3 seconds of them being posted. I post the same reply each time - 4 keystrokes. There are a load of likes and RTs before I can do anything - a bot army

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@GuyDorrellEsq

6 years

@EmmaKennedy @sclancy79 @NFL @Nike When did basic equality of human rights become so offensive?

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@GuyDorrellEsq

5 years

DO NOT DOWNLOAD THIS APP

Nick Eardley

@nickeardleybbc

5 years

Grant Shapps says whole country - where possible - will be asked to download NHS Coronavirus tracing app

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

I’ve just seen that McVey video. I honestly don’t know where the country goes from here

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

Eldest is having a moment, “so, let me get this straight - we’re ruled by people who just got born in a family?”

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@GuyDorrellEsq

2 years

I think that if you want to belittle what @BootstrapCook has done to highlight and try to alleviate poverty - by whatever means - then you probably shouldn’t be following me

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@GuyDorrellEsq

5 years

The parents of an old friend of mine, who live in the biggest grandest house I know and have Ferraris, have a Lib Dem and not a Conservative sign in the window

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

Just spoke to my mate who does export clearance stuff. “It’s a total cuntbubble. We’re fucked the moment the EU stop doing us these dilutions as a favour. Which is April. As negotiated by Johnson.”

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@GuyDorrellEsq

3 years

Right, who’d be up for an #HourOfOptOut on 16th June to fill in the opt out forms to remove your #NHS data from being shared?

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@GuyDorrellEsq

3 years

Fuck this. No fucking way are my children indulging this shite.

Brendan May

@bmay

3 years

If you think my children are taking part in this pathetic Kim Jong-un tribute act, you can absolutely do one. #idiocracy #BrexitBritain

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

Let’s just reflect that there is no New Zealand strain of Coronavirus

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

I haven’t really done predictions in a while, but here goes: We’ll see a requirement from the government to have a Union flag in classrooms

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

Prediction: Full lockdown with curfew from the first week of January - no fuel shortages, no protests, no assemblies, no riots

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

Painting a large hallway way an extension roller on an airless day like today is not recommended. I’m sweating like Mark Francois in a custody suite

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@GuyDorrellEsq

5 years

. @waitrose your Cobham branch today. No social distancing, no management of numbers coming into the store, no PPE for checkout staff, no management of queuing at checkouts. You can, and should, do better

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

A friend, in the know, tells me that panic buying has begun in earnest

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

So Matt Hancock’s “advanced technology” to trace Patient 0 was actually a spreadsheet and a call centre ringing people and asking, “is it you?”

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

My pledge: I will not buy any item that has a Union flag as its design, not any product that changes its name to show its “Britishness”

John Spiers

@squeezyjohn

4 years

@nicktolhurst Fucking Hell ... reality beat me to it!

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@GuyDorrellEsq

2 years

OH is now stabby-furious; “there’s Platinum Jubilee rubbish on - horse dancing, complete with slo-mo. People can’t feed themselves or heat their houses, and millions are being spent on this shit.”

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@GuyDorrellEsq

3 years

I think it boils down to the fact that I would accept any shade of Labour government to not have a Tory government, and Corbynites wouldn't

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

Brexit: Upper class people convincing working class people they could put one over on middle class people Middle class people warning working class people that upper class people playing them Working class people believing they had more in common with upper class than the middle

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

Tainted Love was recorded closer to the Second World War, than to today

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

@Flakmagnet1 @JeremyVineOn5 @Lord_Sugar @theJeremyVine Why is everyone involved with the Apprentice, wherever it is, an absolute liability?

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@GuyDorrellEsq

3 years

146 people died from Covid today. More than the Aberfan disaster

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@GuyDorrellEsq

3 years

In other news, that nobody seems to give a shit about anymore, 103 Covid deaths were recorded today

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

Four years ago today, I was at a trade show in Manchester and a string of Danish and German colleagues came up to me first thing, shook my hand and said how sorry they were for me.

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@GuyDorrellEsq

3 years

I’m not massively emotional - the infantry doesn’t really embody that - but I honestly feel like crying over Afghan. So many of my friends and colleagues killed, maimed or mentally scarred for a quiet, cowardly capitulation

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@GuyDorrellEsq

2 years

Grief, I've learned, is really just love. It's all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go

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@GuyDorrellEsq

5 years

All your authoritarian manipulation of voters will mean fuck all when your environment looks like this

Sam Neill

@TwoPaddocks

5 years

Australia. This is the road between Canberra and the Coast I think yesterday. The idea that it is somehow not right 'to talk about #ClimateChange at this difficult time' is frankly convenient bulllshit. Click on image to see what life is like now for the #firefighters .

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

A friend has just taken a two hour online customs agent exam from the government. 8 minutes. Pass. World-beating Britain, no longer held back by lax EU standards

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

I’m very seriously concerned that because people got down to their last couple of loo rolls in March, they think they’ve got prepping cracked. January is going to be an awful shock, for a very long time

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

Wonderful people @Khalsa_Aid

Khalsa Aid

@Khalsa_Aid

4 years

800 Hot meals ready for the truckers stranded in #Kent due to #OperationStack ! Our thx to the #Kent Sikh community especially Guru Nanak Gurdwara Gravesend. for preparing meals on short notice #BordersClosed @Port_of_Dover

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

Absolute bollocks. I know of no colleague that wants to return to the office full-time. Some want to return on an ad hoc basis, but this is about billions of pounds of over-leveraged commercial property becoming worthless

Lucy Fisher

@LOS_Fisher

4 years

EXCL: Workers must be allowed to return to offices or they may “vote with their feet” & quit, Chancellor warns in interview with @Telegraph Rishi Sunak declares remote working inferior to physical workplaces, which foster “people riffing off each other”

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@GuyDorrellEsq

3 years

I suppose it’s a sign of the times that I - children at independent school, well paid job, live in an expensive area - am more desperate not to have a Tory government than the Corbynistas

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

I think I’m going to have to sign off Twitter for the night because I am raging.

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

I’m so fucking tired of stupid people.

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@GuyDorrellEsq

2 years

The Speaker is an essential part of holding the government to account, they must insist that the Prime Minister answers the questions posed. This hasn’t happened at least since 2019

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@GuyDorrellEsq

3 years

Fuck you and the horse you rode in on

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@GuyDorrellEsq

5 years

Christ on a bike I get fed up of telling people that should know this; we have a progressive system of taxation - once you earn £80,000, Labour does not take 45% of all of your money *only 45% of what you earn over £80,000*

Paul Sweeney

@PaulJSweeney

5 years

This is just bizarre. Of course if you earn over £80,000 a year you are in the top 5% of earners nationally and should pay more income tax above that threshold. Nearly half of all the workers in this country earn less than £13,000 a year. Where do they find these people?! #bbcqt

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@GuyDorrellEsq

7 years

What a time to be alive

Mashable

@mashable

7 years

Watch a man put 459 straws in his mouth to beat a Guinness World Record.

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

We are being steered towards herd immunity by stealth.

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@GuyDorrellEsq

6 years

How many of us can honestly say we know all of the houses, in all of the counties, that we own?

The Guardian

@guardian

6 years

Boris Johnson under fire for failing to declare house in Somerset

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@GuyDorrellEsq

1 year

@simonharris_mbd She also berated @mrjamesob for being an ex-public school pupil. From the school she sent her own children to.

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@GuyDorrellEsq

3 years

Please do not celebrate Russian deaths; excluding Special Forces, it is a conscript army. They are being sent to fight people who they considered their brother, not so long ago. The average age of Russian soldiers is young, and they have horrible conditions of kit, food etc/

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@GuyDorrellEsq

3 years

An absolutely lovely lady working @Tesco told me that yesterday, working on the petrol station forecourt, a woman spat on her, for Tesco having run out of petrol.

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

If you’re reading this, it’s almost certainly going to be fine; @agoodfireburns and I have a self-selecting group of people with open eyes and minds. You’ll weather this if you keep calm

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@GuyDorrellEsq

3 years

Aaaaaaand my energy supplier has gone bust

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@GuyDorrellEsq

5 years

Who else has echoes when reading "Migrants will be sorted into 3 categories"?

Brexit Bin 🇪🇺🇬🇧🇩🇪🕊🇺🇦 #BrexitHasFailed

@BrexitBin

5 years

"Migrants will be sorted into 3 categories: exceptionally talented will be granted free entry; skilled workers can settle if they have a job; and unskilled workers will only be granted short-term visas. All imposed 2 years earlier than promised by May."

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

@LidlGB #LidlBakeryIsCalling my favourite item is the fresh pain au chocolat. If I won, would you give 365 to a foodbank I nominated?

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@GuyDorrellEsq

6 years

I’m going to start a group of people who, from April, will dedicate themselves to being awful pub bores for the “good old days” when we had freedom of movement, trading agreements etc. Who’s with me?

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@GuyDorrellEsq

5 years

"Yet, I’ve also lived through the horrors of a Great Depression and two World Wars, the second of which was started by a man who promised that he would restore his country it to its former greatness." #KirkDouglas The road ahead

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@GuyDorrellEsq

3 years

To be explicit, in my view, the cost of consumer energy escalation is an existential threat to the country and to society. It requires immediate government intervention as though it were a pandemic or life-threatening condition - because it is the latter

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

Natalie is concerned that, unchecked, anyone could come into the country - sex offenders, even. Thereby taking jobs from British-born sex offenders

Natalie Elphicke Ross OBE

@NatalieElphicke

4 years

This morning at about 9am, 8 illegal entrants motored into Britain. This is the dinghy they arrived in. This is the reality of the small boats crossings. Only when migrants and traffickers alike know that they will be stopped and returned will these journeys come to an end.

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@GuyDorrellEsq

2 years

When I was doing A Level politics, interest rates reached 15%. Not inflation rate, interest rates.

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

A husband, father, grandfather and great grandfather has died today. If you could show some compassion for those affected and keep your opinions on his character and the institution he represented for 74 years quiet for just one day, that would be appreciated

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

Do not watch the 2012 Olympics opening ceremony on BBC 1 now. It’ll make you weep for what you’ve lost

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

Not only are 1325 lives lost a terrible thing, we are getting to the point where medics will routinely be forced to choose who to treat, and to administer purely palliative care to

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@GuyDorrellEsq

3 years

From the age of 8, my only ambition was to be an officer in the British Army. Now my only ambition is for my family to live abroad

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

A tweet of mine from yesterday has got 200,000 impressions, so I’m going to ask this of the people that are kind enough to follow me. Children deserve Easter. Tesco have £1 Mini Egg, Buttons and Smarties Easter eggs. Please donate one, if you can, in store. Thank you.

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@GuyDorrellEsq

4 years

A word to the wise; if a significant other in your household orders a calf-length skirt online that turns out - because of their petite nature - to be floor-length when it arrives, describing it as “a floral dalek” will occupy a great deal of your Sunday explaining

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