Greg One Leg @Greg_1_Leg Twitter profile

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

4 years

When I’m in trouble my Christian name is Gregory One Legory.

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

9 months

Dear movies/tv shows Make the talky talky louder and the actiony bits quieter Regards Every-fucking-one!

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

5 months

Not to brag but most of my bad decisions were made when completely sober

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 months

“Things could be worse” yeah they could be fucking better too

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

5 months

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

Sure sex is great but have you ever made the right amount of rice?

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

Life of an introvert. Leave me alone but also don’t forget about me okay

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

I got 99 problems because I let them build up and now I’m overwhelmed

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

Dating is hard because all the decent single people have given the fuck up and would rather be alone

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

I love how some animals were just like “fuck this shit” and decided to hibernate through the coldest, darkest time of the year

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

People are feeling old because a lot of Gen Z have no clue what burning a CD is. Me: *crying because I remember recording songs off the radio to cassette.

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

People will avoid you just to avoid having to be honest

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

Them: surround yourself with people that… Me: no thanks

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

Amazing people shouldn’t live so far away

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

The jokes on you omicron, I wasn’t planning on doing anything NYE anyways

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

Sometimes it’s okay to just be angry at the world

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

Me: I’d like one wet wipe please Wet wipe packet: the best I can do is 10

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

Be silly. Be weird. It’s more sexy than you think.

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

Sure sex is great but have you pulled a sticker off something in one go?

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

It blows my mind that older generations had like 8 kids but still didn’t want people thinking they were having sex

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

Loyal people are rare because all the disloyal people broke them and now we’re picky as fuck

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

Coffee is like sex. You’re not done until you’re shaking.

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

Being discarded shouldn’t be something people get used to

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

No one will piss you off more than the people you love the most

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

I’m at an age now where everything is either quiet as shit or loud as fuck. There’s no in between

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

Call me old school but I still have manners

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

Can’t beat a genuine, deeply felt “for fuck sake”

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

Just be honest. It’s saves so many arguments if they know before dating that you like doing absolutely fucking nothing on weekends

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

Being built for hugs and not getting any hugs is kinda bullshit

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

If they allowed you to view their vulnerability, know that shit took courage and trust. Not weakness.

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

I’m gonna judge you a little if you don’t buy your dog a Christmas present.

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

I really thought staying up all night in my 30s would involve a lot more sex and a lot less crippling self awareness and insomnia but here we are

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

Honesty and clarity. Because we’re too old for bullshit.

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

4 years

You’re not asking too much. You’re asking the wrong people.

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

Don’t feel foolish for telling someone how you really feel. That shit takes courage.

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

Them: are you single single? Or twitter single? Me: I’m ‘eats cereal in my underwear for dinner by myself’ single

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

No ones ever had an okay pear. They are either amazing or shit. There’s no in between.

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

I think we offer help so easily because we know how hard it is to ask for it.

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

When shit gets too much, I paint. Find your escape.

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

Those people that refuse to give up on you. Take care of those beautiful idiots.

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

1 year

Being able to lay in bed awhile after you’ve woke because you don’t need to be up is one of life’s greatest pleasures

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

4 years

In hell your twitter account will sync with your contacts list.

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

Adulting is getting used to a lot of shit I never expected I’d have to get used to

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

Caring too much isn’t a bad thing. There isn’t enough of it in the world. Keep that shit up.

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

People with small circles tend to be the most trustworthy

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

Mutual affection and energy is rare as fuck

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

My toxic trait is dealing with loneliness by closing off and being distant

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

Ate spaghetti bolognese in a white shirt if you’re into risk takers.

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

My phone was on 1% and I managed to get home and put it on charge before it switched off and that’s my excitement done for the weekend.

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

I’m too smart to be this stupid

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

I talk a lot of shit for someone that still won’t say Candyman or Bloody Mary in the mirror 5x in a row.

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

It’s easier to say I’m okay, rather than explain something I can’t even explain to myself

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

I’m not nearly hot enough to get away with how fucking annoying i am

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

I’ve never belonged and I’m more and more accepting of that the older I get

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

“Yeah I’m okay, I’m just tired” Means my soul is exhausted and I don’t have the energy to talk about it.

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

How you treat animals and your pets, tells me everything i need to know about you.

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

How long the washing machine says it has left is why I have trust issues

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

Welcome to your teenage years. Pick your music wisely, cos you’re gonna still be listening to this shit when you’re 40

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

Sometimes we’re the asshole in our own story

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

My brain: do it!! My brain after: you shouldn’t have done it

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

A lot of tweets are just people saying things out loud because they needed to hear it themselves.

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

Being fake? Fuck, it’s exhausting enough pretending I’m okay

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

I do my best overthinking in bed

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

I will be wearing men’s *lingerie all weekend *grey sweatpants

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

If I was in the Men in Black I’d probably use the memory wiper on myself more than other people.

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

Be picky as fuck to who you give your all to

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

Please don’t ask my advice. I absolutely wing everything.

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

The Beatles: All the lonely people, where do they all come from? Inventor of Twitter: let’s make an app so they can answer

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

Those “Miss you” messages mean so much…mine was from Domino’s but you gotta take ‘em where you can get em

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

Week 52 without sex - *lists my face as a chair on Facebook marketplace

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

Giving your energy to someone who doesn’t give you theirs back will drain the fuck out of you.

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

Finally finished last night. @ThePeakyBlinder

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

When you’re young you learn ‘Shit happens’ The older you get you realise ‘shit happens a lot’

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

I’d probably have a Lego addiction if I could afford it

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

You deserve better than only getting their attention when they’re bored or low.

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

Effort has to be reciprocated. There’s only so much a person can feel drained before they give up

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

4 years

Twitter is a large crowd of people that don’t feel like they fit in large crowds of people.

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

If it brings you enjoyment, comfort, peace or puts a smile on your face it’s not a waste of time.

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

Some of the loneliest people here have the most followers. Some of the most beautiful never show their face. A profile doesn’t tell you everything. But there’s always a person behind it.

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

Telling someone what makes you weak and afraid takes strength and courage

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

If you were drawn to her fire, why would you want to douse the flames?

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

If it’s not reciprocated then stop feeding it. You’re worth the effort too.

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

Those that check in on you. Remember to check in on them too.

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

Oh shit I forgot Mother’s Day…wait no, I’m British. I forgot that months ago

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

Can’t. Ruining a perfectly good mood with pointless overthinking.

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

“Everyone I know goes away in the end” hits harder the older I get and each time I hear it

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

Her: I bet he’s thinking about other women Me: I wonder if a hypnotist has ever died in the middle of their act and the person on stage acted like a chicken for the rest of their life.

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

Words are great until you live enough to see how hollow they are without actions to prove them

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

Forgive yourself for being human in the times you weren’t strong.

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

Sometimes your silly jokes and kind words are all that are keeping a person going through the day. You’re more important than you realise.

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

4 years

Funny, goofy and kind is attractive as fuck.

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

Stop apologising to those who owe you an apology

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

Doesn’t matter how hot you are on the surface. If you lack manners, you get ugly fast.

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

4 years

You like bad boys? Well I drink Pepsi out of a Coke glass.

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

2 years

If Twitter has taught me anything it’s that I’m not getting enough bacon, coffee or orgasms and I fully agree

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

Why don’t you sing about it? - Walt Disney as a therapist

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

Sometimes sitting with them quietly until it passes is what helps the most

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

I’d risk having sex in a horror movie with you - me flirting

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

No one told me that when I got older that they’ll always constantly be at least one thing that hurts

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Greg One Leg

@Greg_1_Leg

3 years

I forgive others a lot easier than I forgive myself

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