litigation_god @GodLitigation Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

@Sahl70

@sac4nagem

@GJYYNGII

@LunaviteArt

@pinkpantheress2

@Joker_kun06

@wenlou_

@WrestlingWCC

@Shuasshii

@_Yemeni_1

@bokeplokalmalam

@_slaventy_

@sue_childress7

@Svera152

@Latifh_dleehan

@AlyshaSchn50092

@helena_ans55752

@KOKOYO97543147

@RicepaperNo1

@hongshuaji

@jamesdiamandis_

@SportswaveAndre

@koji_1_homma

@DeneConstanc

@YeewaNas48

@Kimutaironnoh

@DeniseChaney467

@Anemonegames

@wntrult

@Rohitking046785

@credit_eci

@gasengaja1

@venatrixlunaris

@mma_mmaroc

@cataloving

@jdotbreezyy

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

2 months

A tale as old as time

88

2K

38K

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

7 months

How to have fun when you are a lawyer:

19

215

1K

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

3 months

Who needs cocaine when you can get:

8

112

1K

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

3 months

There are only 3 things in life that are certain: 1. Death 2. Taxes 3. Westlaw will log you out of 83 tabs while you are taking a panic cry break.

12

86

948

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

1 year

Mom: So you can't help your cousin with his DUI, you can't help your aunt with her divorce and you can't help your grandpa with his will. What can you do? Me:

16

111

864

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

1 month

When your client texts you after he absolutely bombs the deposition and destroys the case you’ve been building up for four years:

4

84

873

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

3 months

1

44

759

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

26 days

4

49

754

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

11 months

Partner: "How's the assignment coming?" Me, who hasn't started: "Oh, it's coming along fine" Partner: "Great, send me what you have"

3

91

710

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

1 year

Summer associates teaming up to create the most incoherent memo you’ve ever seen

4

43

643

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

10 months

Emotional Support dog after a day with a law firm associate:

4

74

631

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

2 months

4

79

622

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

7 months

I received three Orders denying my Motions today and it's just like... am I not my grandma's special boy to these judges?

4

31

618

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

9 days

2

43

622

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

7 months

Me when I see that Westlaw timed out and closed my 53 perfectly organized tabs:

3

31

591

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

9 months

First-year associates when they catch a typo in opposing counsel’s motion

4

39

596

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

5 months

5

49

540

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

8 months

Litigation is like having 100 different law school classes with 60 different homework assignments due every night and final exams (trial) every other month. Oh and don’t forget to pay your tuition (bar dues) and actually go to class (CLEs) while also keeping a journal of

14

94

537

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

2 years

Your future lawyer is probably currently struggling to understand Crim Law and using an outline from 6 years ago to learn it so you might want to get your act together

6

54

522

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

1 month

2

26

510

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

30 days

Me trying to convince my friend to co-counsel with me on a case that I know will be a nightmare

1

44

510

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

3 months

Slay 🏳️‍🌈🌈✨

1

37

486

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

9 months

1Ls finalizing their Civ Pro outline

3

37

485

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

2 years

6

58

477

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

1 year

@VerySmartExpert @MikeSington

26

72

469

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

2 years

This is what it is like to deal with Clients

1

45

475

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

2 years

There are only 3 things in life that are certain: 1. Death 2. Taxes 3. Westlaw will log you out while you are focused on another task for a little bit

0

53

462

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

5 months

1

72

473

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

6 months

My client after I tell her to act natural and relaxed at her deposition

2

22

465

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

1 year

Don't touch those, they're my emotional support WestLaw tabs. Yes, all 20 of them that will likely not work because I stepped away for two minutes.

1

35

451

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

6 months

4

35

446

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

11 months

Billing Dept.: You need to be more descriptive with your billing entries. Me:

5

56

429

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

10 months

Reporting for duty 🫡

2

33

411

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

1 year

8

59

405

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

6 months

Why does every photo of Kate Middleton driving look like a BigLaw associate heading to work in the morning

10

16

391

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

1 year

Me, once I get to the second page of Westlaw search results

2

42

386

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

4 months

Researching case law that doesn’t exist (5.0)

2

34

390

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

1 year

When the partner basically cuts out everything you added to the brief

2

25

366

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

9 months

4

48

370

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

4 months

1

57

367

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

11 months

State court is the Wild West

6

30

363

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

1 year

POV: You’re dating a lawyer

2

51

356

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

11 months

Spooky

3

47

359

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

11 months

Jada, please stop 😭

4

28

339

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

1 year

3Ls jumping from finals to bar prep

1

42

324

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

11 months

Me, working up the courage to ask the partner a question about the assignment I should have asked days ago

2

31

315

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

26 days

1

19

317

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

7 months

4

31

310

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

11 months

Narrator: No, he was not fine

0

29

309

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

6 months

.2

2

16

309

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

6 months

The kind of recognition I thought I’d be getting when I first started at a law firm

0

18

309

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

10 months

Special treat for the entire neighborhood

3

44

302

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

1 year

When you said you'd have a draft ready first thing in the morning but it's almost 9 and you're still not done

3

55

298

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

3 months

I’m bringing sexy BAC

6

19

300

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

11 months

When an Associate says they "got that dog in them" this is the dog they're referring to:

0

35

295

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

11 months

Lawyer math is finding a way to claim $1M in damages for a minor injury

8

34

284

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

1 year

Before you marry an attorney: 1. Make sure they don’t have an AOL email account 2. Ask them if they use LexisNexis 🚩 3. Pay attention to how they treat their paralegal 4. Survive one trial while dating them, at a minimum 5. Take note of how partners treat them 6. DO NOT DO IT

5

28

281

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

1 year

Paying it forward

2

57

279

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

1 year

When you went to law school because you didn't know what to do with your life

2

29

275

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

7 months

One of my associates wore one of these to trial with a list of objections on it:

3

15

281

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

23 days

3

17

277

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

1 year

1

35

271

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

6 months

“Cease and desist letter” -dull -played out -pompous “Fuck around and find out letter” -menacing and concise -compelling -modern

3

39

269

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

4 years

@CarmineSabia CEO of being a clown 😂

25

3

232

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

5 months

1

16

253

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

10 months

Have you ever drafted an amazing brief full of parentheticals and bluebook magic but then been disappointed because none of your friends or family, or even the court, cares?

10

21

237

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

1 year

Summer Associates staying up late to find an unreported case from a different jurisdiction with multiple red flags

2

17

230

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

1 year

When you’re forced to argue a losing motion

3

26

224

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

2 years

@YepBoomer @hasanthehun

1

16

212

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

9 months

When the Partner tries to boss around the court clerk in the courthouse

3

15

221

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

1 year

When you try to mentor the younger attorneys but they end up just as jaded and bitter as you

3

15

218

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

9 months

0

24

220

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

4 years

Quarantine day #169 : all courthouses are closed. Oral arguments are are uploaded to TikTok and decided by number of likes. Damages are awarded in toilet paper. Punitive damages are paid via hand sanitizer.

6

86

212

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

1 month

Boomer partner that doesn't know how to use tracked changes in Word and gives back handwritten edits in hieroglyphics:

5

22

216

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

7 months

0

10

215

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

9 months

Me waiting on the Partner to say thank you for the assignment I spent all weekend on

3

20

210

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

8 months

2

22

208

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

1 year

Me, trying to get the partner to review my draft before they disappear for vacation

3

15

203

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

6 months

When you've been following up with the partner for months and now the response is due tomorrow

2

13

203

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

1 year

When your new firm is just as bad as your old one but you can't leave immediately so you have to act happy

2

18

200

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

11 months

I guess me and Taylor Swift do have something in common

0

30

197

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

8 months

2

26

200

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

8 months

Me, after getting the slightest bit of substantive criticism on an assignment

0

17

196

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

6 months

0

19

194

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

2 years

Thinking of starting a law firm focused on estate planning and calling it OnlyPlans

3

7

191

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

6 months

Me getting ready to impeach the shit out of the witness:

0

22

191

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

1 year

Mid-Level associates taking a momentary break from their panic attacks to be cheery for the summers

0

17

188

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

11 months

Partner whose been ghosting you for weeks popping out of nowhere asking for a status update

0

13

184

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

11 months

Friend: If you're so miserable, why don't you just quit being a lawyer? Me:

3

27

176

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

2 years

Please don’t pick on kids who still believe in Santa. I know some adults who work at law firms and still believe they’re going to get to use their vacation days.

0

19

172

litigation_god

@GodLitigation

3 years

oh you like bad boys? well sometimes i cite case law i've only skimmed

1

35

168

litigation_god

@GodLitigation