Ralph @Garribaldie Twitter profile

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

2 years

Amazing what you can capture on a clear night in the mountains 📍Dhirkot, Azad Kashmir

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

1 year

Me after changing my VPN location

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

4 years

Second year of A levels left most of us with trauma we still haven’t recovered from

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

3 years

Not having generational wealth is kinda rude

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

2 years

Sharaab ke saath saath ab chocolates aur cat food ke bhi dealer dhoondne parhein gai

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

3 years

“Instagram music isn’t available in your region.” Yeah man, neither is anyone I like

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

3 years

Most of the people I’ve dated have gone on to leave the country. So if there’s a visa you want or if you’re just looking to escape, all you have to do is take me out for dinner

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

3 years

People who try to be extra Arabic during ramzan piss me off. Wtf is suhoor?! Seedha seedha sehri bol

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

6 years

People who say, "larkian bohat parhti hain," also need to think why. Women aren't naturally inclined to work harder than men, they have to do it because the system actively discriminates against them. Larkian bohat nahi parhti, unnhein bohat parhna parhta hai

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

1 year

Everyone suddenly wants to do laundry and taxes on this app. Half of them have probably never used a washing machine and more than half them have probably never filed taxes before

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

3 years

Punjab police would never let this happen

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

4 years

Half of Lahore is in Nathia right now while the other half is having ice cream at Amavi

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

3 years

If bumble doesn’t work for me this time, I’m going to auction myself off on subtle curry dating

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

2 years

Imran Khan Me in Ramzan 🤝 Maghrib ko achi tarhan janna

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

4 years

Looking for someone to take me out on the 14th of Feb. Pls DM if you’re an assassin or have prior experience with homicide

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

2 years

There’s a certain romance about winter evenings in Lahore. A sweet scent in the air, that may well be smog, but smells like love

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

3 years

Free on the 14th of February if someone wants to go make fun of other couples with me

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

5 years

Peak privilege is having hot water run through your Muslim shower in the winters

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

3 years

Just got my first shot of Sputnik V. No side effects as of yet but I have suddenly developed the urge to unite with the workers of the world

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

3 years

Me and who? No one bro. You’re deathly afraid of rejection so you’ll never shoot your shot

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

5 years

Fuck parties. Ijtamaai rona session plan karte hain

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

4 years

Guys pls pray to whatever deity you believe in that our fall semesters aren’t online. Idc if you’re an atheist just do smth these are desperate times

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

3 years

Wish I had my nephew’s sleep schedule. Man wakes up at the crack of dawn everyday and is in bed again by 8pm.

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

3 years

The party culture in Lahore is toxic but most importantly it’s unsafe. Women are seen as objects to set the ‘ratio’ and men think they can get away with everything when they’re under the influence. This needs to stop. Things need to change.

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

3 years

Do people actually love their jobs or is it more of an, “I’m suffering but alhumdullilah,” thing?

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

4 years

Desi aunties who freeze everything were way ahead of the curve

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

4 years

Why can’t mashed potatoes be a main dish? They deserve better

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

2 years

2 years ago I wanted to do a PhD, now I just want to drift around Wateen Chowk while listening to sad Punjabi music

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

3 years

Just deleted my bumble again. Thank you all for your support. Can’t wait to rejoin two months from now

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

2 years

The only career path I actually want is one that offers generational wealth

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

2 years

Vet: Your cat… My mom: This is not my cat, mein iss ki nani hon

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

3 years

2 days in and I’ve realised keh zameendar paida hona chahiye tha. This life isn’t for me

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

1 year

Could someone ask the government to also block Slack and Microsoft Teams? That’s where the actual revolution is taking place

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

4 years

The idea that there are plenty of fish in the sea is horse shit. For starters, you’re not in the sea, you’re in a small little pond where all the fish are already dating each other

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

2 years

Astrology is always accurate. I know bad things are about to happen when my murree is in gatorade

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

5 years

Does going to readings with someone count as a date?

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

4 years

I don’t like the term single. I prefer being called very very lonely

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

3 years

Not wordle, just my constant state of being ⬜️ ⬜️ 🟩🟩🟩 🟩 🟩 🟩 🟩

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

1 year

Me if I have to guess someone’s favourite colour again

kaushal

@kawwwshal

1 year

me after one more failed talking stage:

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

3 years

Both my parents are alive and well but when one of them isn’t home for shaam ki chai I start thinking about the ephemerality of life. I know one day I’ll sit down for chai and they won’t be there

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

4 years

Hope all the people who are being assholes to professors and bullying them on zoom lose their internet connections forever. What you’re doing isn’t funny chutiye

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

2 years

Cuffing season is now upon us. If someone wants to shoot their shot, now is the time. If you’d also like to shoot me, I would not be opposed to it

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

4 years

Pakistan reopening essential industries. Apparently religion is also one of them

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

5 years

Flight attendant: Is there a doctor on this flight? Dad: *nudging me* that should've been you Me: Not now Dad Dad: Not asking a Twitter troll for help, are they? Me: Dad, there's a medical emergency happening right now Dad: Ja isske baare mein meme bana ab

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

4 years

Literally just people who I think aren’t problematic

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

4 years

LUMS kids get nice thoughtful emails from their administration asking them to take care of themselves. LSE kids get an email notifying them that classes will start soon and they can attend via zoom if they’re still alive. We are truly not the same

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

1 year

People who don’t like cats have never actually been around them long enough to understand how great they are

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

4 years

Mall Road is by far the best sarrak in Lahore. No other sarrak comes close

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

1 year

My phone is alive again and pinging from a mobile repair shop on the outskirts of Lahore. Going to go there tomorrow with the police. Everyone please pray that I get my phone back

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

4 years

We’ve already been through Eid ul Fiqr, is it now time for Eid ul Azhab?

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

4 years

If you’re a debater bro and you harass and manipulate women, you’re worse than scum. You’re extremely privileged when it comes to access to information, you use feminist arguments in debates; you listen to equity briefings before every tournament. You know better

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

4 years

This eid really ended up turning into eid-ul-fiqr

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

4 years

I’m making a virtual quarantine book club where we discuss new books every week over chai (in our own homes ofc.) Who wants in?

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

1 year

The real multiverse of madness was when I saw my ex at a party with a friend of mine who was wearing a shirt he had borrowed from me a day before

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

11 months

Had the time of my life writing my resignation letter today. The sheer euphoria that came with pressing the send button on it… better than any drug I’ve ever done

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

2 years

Just told my nephew that he only has one chachu and his name is Iftikhar

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

1 year

Install bumble, uninstall bumble, install bumble, uninstall bumble, install… what a terrible cycle

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

11 months

Stop searching for someone to date and start looking for a nemesis instead. Get that enemies to lovers trope going

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

3 years

Someone once rejected me because they thought I was the kind of person they’d want to marry and they just weren’t ready for that yet. That one still has me confused

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

2 years

Found this beautiful bouquet of flowers in the trash yesterday. To the person who dumped these, I’m sorry for whatever happened but why’d you take it out on the flowers?

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

3 years

I think if I stay single for long enough I might also end up dating Pete Davidson eventually

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

3 years

Why is everyone around me getting engaged or married? Do they have no regard for the fact that I’m single and lonely?

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

3 years

It’s finally fog season. Why am I not having any parked car conversations?

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

4 years

Three-milk cake is just rasmalai for burgers

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

3 years

My mum is now starting to get concerned by the fact that I’m single. Two years ago, she would’ve been very happy hearing this. Koi kisi haal mein khush hi nahi hai

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

2 years

All we need in life is a Readings date

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

3 years

I may be a terrible person but at least I don’t own a pair of loafers and one of those polo shirts with roman numerals on them

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

4 years

My toxic trait is demanding that Mr. Brightside be played at every party

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

4 years

My parents are awfully proud of the fact that I woke up early today. Little do they know that I never really went to sleep

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

4 years

The children I end up adopting will have the best freakin birthdays ever. You want a jumping castle? Your dad never got one but you bet you’re going to get one

Dr. Shug Stacks💰

@supremeshug

4 years

It’s my baby’s birthday!

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

6 years

Sleeping over your problems is a life hack

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

1 year

Most of us are just average. Average at what we do, average in terms of how we look and pretty darn average in terms of intelligence as well. Perhaps we should just accept it…

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

4 years

Oh to be on the recieving end of a drunk text

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

5 years

Sitting at Bibi's Pink, a new restaurant in DHA, where the dessert and executive chefs are both female! Oh and the food is amazing!

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

1 year

Someone do a study on Zouk. How did they go from being an incredibly expensive restaurant to one that undercuts most high-end restaurants in Lahore? What are their margins? How are they still in business?

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

3 years

Hate people who are like, “we don’t have a type.” Everyone has a type. My type, for example, is anyone who likes me

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

12 days

We need an Arshad Nadeem biopic asap. What a story. What a man.

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

4 years

It’s strange how my sister, a PhD candidate at MIT, constantly doubts herself while my brother who literally just went to lums thinks he knows everything about everything. They had the same upbringing, the only difference is their gender.

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

1 year

Why aren’t they in there helping their significant others pick the best fit? Shopping is something you do together, it’s not supposed to be a chore

Yousuf M.Farooq

@YousufMFarooq

1 year

All the poor men waiting outside Khaadi for their wives. Even saw someone sleeping in the cafe. Others were seen following their wives like kittens. Me.. im one of the kittens..

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

4 years

So apparently smokers are at greater risk of dying if they get corona. Would now be the right time to tell my parents I smoke or should I just surprise them with my death?

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

1 year

Everyone should just stop yearning for love and start yearning for fatter paycheques. The warmth of another person isn’t going to sustain you in this economy

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

4 years

Lahori boys be like I know a spot and then make you sit in their drawing rooms with frequent visits from their mothers

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

3 years

Perhaps the problem lies with the kind of people who host these parties. Salar is just one example of a man who thinks that just because he’s rich and throws parties, he can do whatever he wants. Stop going to their parties. Stop associating with them. They’re all predators.

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

5 years

If you've lost your way, catching up with old friends can be a great way to remind yourself of who you used to be and where you want to go

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

3 years

I hope every woman in this country gets the opportunity to leave one day

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

2 years

Stop liking my tweets about love if you actually are in love. My tweets are for sad single people only

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

5 years

My self-esteem usually takes a nosedive after midnight. It's like I'm Cinderella but instead of losing my carriage and my fancy dress, I just get my depression back

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

4 years

“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. “So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

2 years

Spotify says I’m an adventurer but I order the same pasta every time I go out to eat

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

1 year

As this Karachi trip comes to an end, I’ve realised that I will never be able to look at Lahore food the same way again

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

4 years

Honourable minister, would it be possible for us to form a quarantine group together?

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

2 years

Curfews simply do not apply to H block market. It accepts the authority of no state

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

1 year

Idk why ppl use emojis when “:p” covers the entire emotional spectrum

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

4 years

Apologies for not giving you guys the fire content you’re so used to. I’ve fixed my sleep schedule and am no longer sad (I think)

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

3 years

What kind of person do you need to be to hate on soup???

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

5 years

Some dreams do come true. Not all of them though because obviously zindagi ne itna free nahi karaya hua

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

2 years

Faris on the mic: Hello! Faris on the keyboard: Hope this email finds you well…

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

1 year

Adults should get summer breaks as well. Why do corporations need to function all year round?

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

1 year

Motia scented candles are real game changers. Haven’t slept this well in a really long time

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Ralph

@Garribaldie

5 years

We're all just looking for someone to share our memes with

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