Frank Heffley @FranklinHeffley Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

9 months

Just so you know, Frank Heffley is a very common name!

Tristan Snell

@TristanSnell

10 months

BREAKING: Epstein list will be UNSEALED and PUBLIC, per a new court order from a federal judge in NYC. Over 150 associates of Jeffrey Epstein will be revealed, as early as January 1.

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 months

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

2 months

Welcome to existence you miserable piece of shit

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

6 years

Rodrick has filled a condom with Diet Coke, froze it, and bashed Manny over the head with it. Manny has fucking died.

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

9 months

The Heffleys are going on vacation! Well, only Manny is going and the destination is the bottom of a river in Bangladesh.

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

4 years

Rodrick snuck into Nintendo's headquarters and took this image seconds before getting shot in the ribcage 76 times

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

6 years

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

9 months

@HeffleyRoderick I took the Bermuda trip after Manny killed himself, not Susan. Get your story straight, Rodrick. You're starting to sound suspicious.

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

10 months

when the "ski-di-di" toilet is in the middle of the road

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

6 years

This dick ain't gonna suck itself, G R E G O R Y

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 years

Going to see "Book" with my family

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 years

RT if you are - gay - alone - sad - depressed - going to fucking kill Manny no one will ever know which one

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 years

THE CIRCUMCISION WAS SUSAN'S DECISION, I SWEAR!

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 years

Stop saying "okay boomer" to me! I'm NOT a boomer!

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

4 years

MANNY IS NOT MADE OF CAKE OH MY GOD THERES BLOOD EVERYWHERE FUCK FUCK FUCK

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 years

My wife's boyfriend is gonna buy me a lego set cause I haven't wet the bed in three whole weeks! Awesome!

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

6 years

Greg fucking died

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

6 years

I need cock and ball torture NOW!!!!

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 years

I am: ⚪ Male ⚪ Female 🔘 Rodrick Looking for a: ⚪ Male ⚪ Female 🔘 Frozen condom filled with Diet Coke

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 years

This racism stuff isn't cool. If you are racist, knock it off!

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

2 years

The Second Coming of Christ will occur on March 3, 2023 at 12:21 PM EST

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

6 years

Somebody please tell me what the fuck a "Jah" is? Greg says he will bash my kneecaps open with the power of a thousand suns if I don't bring it back to life.

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

6 years

Is anyone gonna ask why Greg has spent 11 years writing 13 fucking diaries?

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 years

It's all over. Susan. Greg. Rodrick. Manny. They're all dead. Everything is in ruins. My entire left arm has been severed. I tweet this in a bloodbath, struggling to move, howling in agonising pain. I fear for my life, as my next breath may very well be my last.

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

6 years

This video was found on Manny's iPad.

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

6 years

Gregory has some explaining to do.

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

6 years

My wife keeps calling and texting me. She's "worried" because it doesn't take 3 days to grab some milk. Cut the shit, or it'll be 27 years, Susan!

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 years

Currently visiting Rodrick in jail. Woo Hoo!

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

6 years

Greg has been auctioned off in an Islamic Slave Trade for 80 dollars. Good fucking bye, Greg!

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 years

Donald J. Trump

@realDonaldTrump

5 years

ISIS has a new leader. We know exactly who he is!

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

6 years

It's been two months, but this account has finally resurrected from the dead. Why was I suspended, you may ask? Well, the official Garfield account reported me for sending them a porn image. I managed to convince the big guys over at Twitter to resurrect me, and they budged.

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 years

I'm horny and sad. Susan hasn't been home in 3 days ever since the big fight. Manny is screaming and crying, Greg is furiously grunting at his video games, and Rodrick is doing band practice in the garage. I am so close to snapping on this fucking family, it ain't even funny.

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

6 years

Rodrick committed suicide for no apparent reason

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

6 years

I found Rodrick overdosing on ketamine behind a dumpster at the local Gamestop. He begged me not to call the police, and I didn't, however I can now manipulate and blackmail him into doing whatever I please.

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

6 years

My son Gregory Heffley has been arrested after a 17-day manhunt for his involvement in the murder of a mother and her 2-year-old child. Due to the nature of the event, he may be tried for the death penalty. Everyone say your last goodbye.

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

7 months

I make sure to mention 9/11 at least three times a week to my children

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

6 years

We have recently discovered Greg is a "furry". Me and Susan have decided to euthanize him. It's for the better.

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

9 months

Rodrick is a dumb cunt

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

6 years

We had to annihilate Manny after he took my computer to watch the "Annoying Orange" at 3 am.

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

6 years

Gregory smashed a fucking boulder over Rowley's head, reducing his skull to smithereens, upon learning that Herobrine from "Minecraft" does not exist.

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 years

What if we fucked... on the Diary of a Wimpy Kid bed? 😳😩😮

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 years

Greg has been suspended for the next two weeks for stripping naked and hiding in the corner of the girl’s gym locker room while fondling himself. I had to act angry towards him, but deep down I actually am very proud, as I did the exact same scheme back in my high school days!

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

1 month

Rodrick said he started "poop maxxing." What the fuck

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

1 month

Big Nate is chained up in our basement

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 years

Cum

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

6 years

Manny called the fucking S.W.A.T. team on us because we took away the dirty ass blanket he calls "Tingy".

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 years

WTF??? FAN BOY AND CUM CHUM KISSING??? WHAT TIMELINE ARE WE LIVING IN???

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 years

they always be saying "zoo wee mama" but never "zoo wee papa" 😔

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

6 years

Greg, Rodrick and Manny have publicly apologized for causing the Bangladesh famine of '74.

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

6 years

i moved to mexico do you think susan and the kids will notice

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

6 years

Gregory has officially become a "femboy". That's fine, three sons was already too many!

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 years

I’ve had enough of Greg’s shit. I’m sick of everything he does, like pooping on his meal while we’re having dinner, using manny as a sex toy, fingering me at 3 AM. I’m going to end him right here right now. Manny’s penis may never be the same but it will be worth it.

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

21 days

TRAGIC: Gregory Heffley was found alive in his bedroom this morning

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 years

Frank Heffley says: Don't be a fool, pedophilia ain't cool!

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

6 years

Greg destroyed my copy of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, so I destroyed his skull and ribcage.

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 years

Gregory just returned from his trip to France, and said his "work there is done". What could this mean?

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 years

All Rodrick knows is McDonald's, charge he phone, twerk, be bisexual, eat hot chip and lie.

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 years

Gregory has filled the house up to our ankles with cum and has no intention of stopping.

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

4 years

Bitches be like "eat the rich" this and "fuck capitalism" that but have over 250 million mom bucks.

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 years

This was unironically posted over 3,000 times on Gregory's Instagram page, and counting. I can hear him now, furiously tapping the screen of his 4th generation iPod Touch, while screeching every time somebody calls it "cringe."

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

1 month

This is probably the only shirt of Rodrick's I approve of. We've all been there, buddy!

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

6 years

Rodrick regularly smokes cigarettes, and is developing lung cancer at a rapid pace. Rodrick is going to die.

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 years

Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself. In fact, he never even died. He's been chillin at my place. Cool guy.

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

7 months

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

6 years

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 years

Rodrick is in jail.

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 years

Rodrick got his "Rod-Dick" caught in a bus door. The bus started driving at full speed, stretching the "Rod-Dick" to incredible sizes, before inevitably killing him. Rodrick is toast.

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

6 years

Rodrick has vored Manny. We had to cut through Rodrick's stomach to free Manny. Manny is dead and covered in blood, stomach acid and Rodrick's severed intestines. Rodrick also died in the horrific process of cutting him open. Welp, these bodies won't go to the morgue themselves!

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

6 years

I sold Manny's skull (including teeth) to the black market for $1,200. Now I can pay off a fraction of what I owe to the IRS!

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 years

Susan, I am about to file these fucking divorce papers. For the last time, it is MY turn on the Xbox.

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

3 years

R.I.P. Prince Phillip

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

6 years

Gregory has to pay thousands in damage to his school for infecting all the computers with spyware, after thinking he could get Minecraft for free. Is abortion possible at 144 months?

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 years

What do you guys think I am drinking?

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

6 years

I’m not a furry, but I would skull fuck Isabelle from Animal Crossing with every fibre of my being, I would give thousands of my hard earned money to Nintendo for an Isabelle Sex Simulator.

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 years

My pussy itches!

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 years

Caption this.

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

6 years

Gregory has just referred to his friend Rowley as a "saucy boy".

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 years

Might fuck around and name my kid "Manny"

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

6 years

I secretly disguised the bitter apple spray Manny has been covering his food in with Raid® Ant & Roach Killer! Time to watch him suffer irreversible neurological damage due to poisoning!

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 years

Is there anything that you can say during sex and while watching Megamind that would make sense both ways?

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 years

I know what Obama's last name is but I will be persecuted under United States federal law if I tell you

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 years

Rodrick is currently watching online videos of children vomiting.

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

6 years

Greg is now the FBI's most wanted fugitive for stealing a "Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa" DVD.

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

6 years

Roderick has dead. 🔁RT if u would attend his funeral. ❤Like to simply pay ur respects. 🚫Ignore if u don't care.

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 years

Rodrick is currently flexing his self-proclaimed "epic yolo swag" on the streets of Pakistan.

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 years

Manny somehow got into my work computer and has been sending this to everyone in my office

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 years

I am currently on a fentanyl overdose! Susan and the kids will never know because I ran off to Miami to to pursue my rapping career!

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 years

Hey coronavirus, here's your lunch!

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 years

Why raid Area 51 when you can just watch Planet51 instead

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 years

currently seeing endgame.

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

6 years

Is there a specific reason that now over 20,000 people want to hear Greg Heffley's dad post insanely gruesome and offending messages online?

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

6 years

Greg was conceived after Susan and I fucked under a truck in the loading dock at Whole Foods.

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

6 years

Gregory painted his face orange, and keeps shouting "NYAH NYAH NYAH", while running around with a knife, in an attempt to be just like his hero, the "Annoying Orange". I think I'm gonna call the cops.

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 years

For Father's Day, my kids poured antifreeze down my throat, thinking it was the Fortnite slurp juice. Fiddlesticks!

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

4 months

Should I push in the soft spot on Manny's head?

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 years

This morning I walked into Gregory masturbating to one of those anime women, but it was a child! When I confronted him about it he said “She’s actually a 1000 year old dragon”, what a disgrace of a human being.

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

6 years

Funny tweet where a character dies, gets a disease, or is horribly injured.

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

5 years

Greg brutally murdered Rodrick. When the police questioned him he said “It was my turn on the xbox”

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Frank Heffley

@FranklinHeffley

6 years

I have just learned that Gregory’s departure from the country was, in fact, not for a school trip. In reality, he has left the country to join the "Islamic State”.

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