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Father Ted Quote of the Day Profile
Father Ted Quote of the Day

@FrTedQOTD

106,336
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Following
2,140
Media
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Statuses

That's the great thing about Catholicism - it's very vague and no-one knows what it's really all about.

Craggy Island
Joined March 2013
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@FrTedQOTD
Father Ted Quote of the Day
4 years
Dougal: "Did you tell me once that Father Jack had a trial for Liverpool?" Ted: "No... he was on trial, in Liverpool."
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
5 years
"And now to ride Mrs. O'Reilly" #TrumpInIreland
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
3 years
RIP to the wonderful Rynagh O'Grady, who played the feisty Mary O'Leary in Father Ted. So many hilarious scenes.
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
2 years
Today would have been Dermot Morgan's 70th birthday. We remember him every day, but particularly today. The laughs will always live on.
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
1 year
25 years today since we lost Dermot Morgan, and 7 years today since Frank Kelly passed away. Two of the all-time greats.
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
1 year
Dougal: "Did you tell me once that Father Jack had a trial for Liverpool?" Ted: "No... he was on trial, in Liverpool."
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
4 years
"And now to ride Mrs. O'Reilly"
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
4 years
How it started: How it's going:
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
1 year
"Sack me? Sack me? I made the BBC!"
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
1 year
"Oh yeah, Lent. What are you giving up? Being the biggest eejit in the priesthood?"
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
5 years
"I had my fun, and that's all that matters." #RIPBrendanGrace
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
5 years
“You let Dougal do a funeral?!”
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
5 years
RIP Pat Laffan, famous for his roles as Pat Mustard and Georgie Burgess. Pat Mustard was undoubtedly one of the best characters in Father Ted, and his comedy will live on for a long, long time.
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
2 years
"Ah God, Ted, I'm so happy. The sun is out and we're in an opticians. It doesn't get any better than this."
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
3 years
As is now tradition, we like to use our platform here to think of those less fortunate. Close to 5 million people across the UK and Ireland are currently preparing to watch Mrs. Brown's Boys. We pray that they might see the light, the feckin' eejits.
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
6 months
"I am Chinese, if you please...c'mon, Dougal, lighten up!"
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@BBCWorld
BBC News (World)
6 months
Chinese Premier to visit the Republic of Ireland
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
5 months
“Did you tell me once that Father Jack had a trial for Liverpool?" “No... he was on trial, in Liverpool."
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@LFC
Liverpool FC
5 months
Jürgen Klopp has announced his decision to step down as #LFC manager at the end of the season, having informed the club’s ownership of his wish to leave his position in the summer.
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
5 years
Three years today since the passing of Frank Kelly, and twenty-one years today since Dermot Morgan left us. Always fondly remembered in Ireland and further afield.
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
11 months
"Who's doing the disco?" "Father Billy O'Dwyer." "The Spinmaster! Great!"
@CatholicArena
Catholic Arena
11 months
PORTUGAL 1 million young Catholics brought an end for their all night World Youth Day vigil at 7am this morning, with the sound of Padre Guilherme, the Portugese DJ priest
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
3 years
"Oh yeah, Lent. What are you giving up? Being the biggest eejit in the priesthood?"
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
10 months
"Ah God, Ted, I'm so happy. The sun is out and we're in an opticians. It doesn't get any better than this."
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
8 months
"The farm takes up most of the day and at night I just like a cup of tea. I might not be able to devote myself full time to the ol' racism."
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@TheNotoriousMMA
Conor McGregor
8 months
Ireland, we are at war.
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
3 years
“Well, there he is, Ted. Father Romeo Sensini. 17 caps for the Vatican over 75s. Looks after himself, drinks only very, very fine wine. Can climb two flights of stairs unassisted, needs only one nun to help him get out of a chair. You haven’t a chance.”
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
3 years
“I wish I wasn’t a priest.” “Dougal, if Father Jack heard you say that.” “Sure he told me one time that he doesn’t even believe in God."
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
2 years
"God Ted, I've heard about those cults. Everyone dressing in black and saying Our Lord is going to come back and judge us all." "No... No, Dougal, that's us. That's Catholicism you're talking about."
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
1 year
“I wish I wasn’t a priest.” “Dougal, if Father Jack heard you say that.” “Sure he told me one time that he doesn’t even believe in God."
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
7 months
"YOU LET DOUGAL DO A FUNERAL?!?!?!”
@DailyMirror
The Mirror
7 months
Hearse bursts into flames on way to funeral - but coffin pulled out just in time
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
5 years
“Looks after himself, drinks only very, very fine wine. Can climb two flights of stairs unassisted, needs only one nun to help him get out of a chair.”
@ESPNFC
ESPN FC
5 years
Meet 73-year-old Israeli goalkeeper Isaak Hayik, the oldest player to play a professional football match 👏
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
2 years
"Brilliant Ted! How did you know?" "Don't think I didn't notice those little hints you left lying around the place"
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
5 years
“Don’t call me Len, you little prick.” #MetGala
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
1 year
"July the 19th. What's so special about July the 19th?"
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
5 years
"Look at him there. Dreaming of past glories, no doubt."
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
8 months
"I hear you're a racist now, Father."
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
2 months
“He did kick me up the arse!”
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
3 years
"Ha, those Protestants, up to no good as usual."
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
3 years
Remember these two legends of comedy, on the anniversary of their deaths. Still making us laugh, all these years later.
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
2 years
"Oh yeah, Lent. What are you giving up? Being the biggest eejit in the priesthood?"
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
2 years
“And now we move on to liars…”
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
3 years
"Ah God, Ted, I'm so happy. The sun is out and we're in an opticians. It doesn't get any better than this."
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
4 years
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
2 years
“Here we are now, all the lads” 🙌🏼
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
2 years
With #RIPTwitter trending and the future of the platform looking uncertain, we want to take this opportunity to thank all of you for your brilliant engagement over the last 10 years. It may not be the end, but if it is... "I've had my fun, and that's all that matters."
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
2 years
‼️ Public Service Announcement ‼️ 🧑‍🎄Your annual Christmas Eve viewing of Father Ted has been confirmed. 🇮🇪 RTÉ2 - Christmas Special @ 9pm 🇬🇧 More4 - Father Ted marathon from 8pm to 1.25am, including the Christmas Special @ 9pm
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
5 years
"Ah God, Ted, I'm so happy. The sun is out and we're in an opticians. It doesn't get any better than this."
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
4 years
"Oh yeah, Lent. What are you giving up? Being the biggest eejit in the priesthood?"
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
6 years
"We might see you your friend." "Who's that, Sophia Loren?!" "No Father, the Pope." "He's no friend of mine!" #PopeInIreland
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
2 years
"God Ted, it's no use. I'm just so excited about Christmas I can't sleep."
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
4 months
“Looks after himself, drinks only very, very fine wine. Can climb two flights of stairs unassisted, needs only one nun to help him get out of a chair. You haven’t a chance.”
@bbcmtd
BBC Midlands
5 months
A Walsall pensioner celebrated his 90th birthday by playing a game of walking football. Mike Fisher still plays three times a week – as well as a weekly game of indoor cricket. He celebrated his birthday with his team mates at Sneyd Community Association in Bloxwich.
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
9 months
"The money was just resting in my account."
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@SkyNews
Sky News
9 months
Captain Sir Tom Moore's daughter has admitted keeping £800,000 from the three books he wrote before he died - despite the prologue of one of them saying the money would go to the charity in his name 👇
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
5 years
"So, in no more than 200 words, why you should get a parachute."
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
6 years
Wayne Hennessy, not a racist
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
8 months
"Sensini's got an open goal. If we don't do something now, he's going to score within a matter of minutes."
@Culture_Crit
Culture Critic
8 months
What should this art installation be called?
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
4 years
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
2 years
"OH TED, LOOK! IT'S A BIG BUNCH OF BOXES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD!"
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
3 years
"Ah God, Ted, I'm so happy. The sun is out and we're in an opticians. It doesn't get any better than this."
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
2 years
"Dougal, have you been drinking?" "I have, Ted. I've been drinking like a mad eejit."
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
1 year
“The farm takes up most of the day and at night I just like a cup of tea. I mightn’t be able to devote myself full time to the ol’ racism.”
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
2 months
@tyronetv_irl
Tyrone Productions
2 months
30 years ago today Riverdance debuted at the interval of the Eurovision Song Contest, Point Theatre, Dublin. From that 7min version, a phenomenally successful stage show was developed & performed around the world. We are so proud to be part of it ✨Happy Birthday @Riverdance
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
2 years
"I'll give you a clue... You live there..."
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
1 year
"Say if there are 200 million priests in the world and five percent are paedophiles. That's still only 10 million."
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@_tdprater
T. D. Prater 🇻🇦
1 year
Anti-Catholics: All Catholic priests are child abusers Facts: From 1950 to today only around 5% of priests have actually been accused of abuse. This includes false accusations.
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
2 years
"YOU LET DOUGAL DO A FUNERAL???"
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
6 months
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@rtenews
RTÉ News
6 months
The Chinese Premier has arrived in Ireland for a short visit to the country
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
2 years
"It is a Cuban fertility symbol, I hope it brings you as much luck as it brought me."
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
6 years
Unconfirmed image of the man who stormed the stage during the UK entry #Eurovision
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
2 years
“I want to shower you with sugar lumps, and ride you over fences. Polish your hooves every single day, and bring you to the horse dentist."
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
5 years
“I wish I wasn’t a priest.” “Dougal, if Father Jack heard you say that.” “Sure he told me one time that he doesn’t even believe in God."
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
4 years
“Sack me?! SACK ME?! I made The White House!” #TrumpMeltdown
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
6 years
Hard to believe that it’s the 20th anniversary of Dermot Morgan’s passing. Thanks for the memories, Father 🙏🏼
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
5 years
"Ah God, Ted, I'm so happy. The sun is out and we're in an opticians. It doesn't get any better than this."
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
2 years
"July the 19th. What's so special about July the 19th?"
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
3 years
"They were simply pawns...the real villain in this piece has yet to be revealed...FARGO BOYLE!!!"
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
2 years
"Milk gets sour you know. Unless it's UHT milk, but there's no demand for that...because it's shite."
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
1 year
"Dougal, have you been drinking?" "I have, Ted. I've been drinking like a mad eejit."
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
1 year
"You don't have anything from the Allied side?" "No, no. That sort of thing wouldn't interest me at all."
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@rtenews
RTÉ News
1 year
A silver-plated pencil that once belonged to Adolf Hitler will go under the hammer at Bloomfield Auctions in east Belfast next week
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
4 years
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
2 years
Fr. Andy Riley, Fr. Desmond Coyle, Fr. George Byrne, Fr. David Nicholson, Fr. Declan Lynch, Fr. Ken Sweeney, Fr. Neil Hannon, Fr. Keith Cullen, Fr. Ciaran Donnelly, Fr. Mick McEvoy, Fr. Jack White, Fr. Henry Bigbigging, Fr. Hank Tree, Fr. Hiroshima Twinkie
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
7 months
Fr. Andy Riley, Fr. Desmond Coyle, Fr. George Byrne, Fr. David Nicholson, Fr. Declan Lynch, Fr. Ken Sweeney, Fr. Neil Hannon, Fr. Keith Cullen, Fr. Ciaran Donnelly, Fr. Mick McEvoy, Fr. Jack White, Fr. Henry Bigbigging, Fr. Hank Tree, Fr. Hiroshima Twinkie
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
2 months
“I want to shower you with sugar lumps, and ride you over fences. “Polish your hooves every single day, and bring you to the horse dentist."
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@Joseph_Fasano_
Joseph Fasano
2 months
When I was 15, my horse Cinnamon died, and I wrote this. My mother has kept it all these years.
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
4 years
"Ah God, Ted, I'm so happy. The sun is out and we're in an opticians. It doesn't get any better than this."
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
4 years
RIP to the wonderful Fergus O'Kelly, who played the always laughing Fr. Barty Dunne in Father Ted. "The old eh eh"
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
3 years
"Here, which one do you prefer, Oasis or Blur?"
@IrelandFootball
Ireland Football ⚽️🇮🇪
3 years
Ireland having the better of the play but Australia have gone closest. 20’ | Australia 0-0 Ireland 🇦🇺🇮🇪 #AUSIRL | #COYBIG | #IRLU21
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
3 years
"Milk gets sour you know. Unless it's UHT milk, but there's no demand for that...because it's shite."
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
5 years
"We have to lose that sax solo."
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
2 years
"So there's no way he'll be able to play?"
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
2 years
“All the young priests are wearing them, Father Damo has one.”
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
3 years
"I hope you don't get into any mischief." "Oh you know us, Father." "I do...and that's the trouble!"
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
5 years
“Well, there he is, Ted. Father Romeo Sensini. 17 caps for the Vatican over 75s. Looks after himself, drinks only very, very fine wine. Can climb two flights of stairs unassisted, needs only one nun to help him get out of a chair. You haven’t a chance.”
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
4 years
"Ah God, Ted, I'm so happy. The sun is out and we're in an opticians. It doesn't get any better than this."
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
2 years
“Just play the f***ing note." “The first one?" “NO! NOT THE F***ING FIRST ONE!"
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
7 months
"I'd say, Father, that you might be the second best priest in the country...the second best priest..."
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@BBCMOTD
Match of the Day
7 months
Erik ten Hag has described Andre Onana as the "second best" goalkeeper in the Premier League. #BBCFootball #MUFC
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
8 months
"It's me Father, ya ignorant bastard."
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
8 months
“The level of commitment amongst the African church in bringing the faith to the people is just wonderful...it’s marvellous, isn’t it?” “Sure I wouldn't know, I'm from Donegal.”
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
2 years
"OH TED, LOOK! IT'S A BIG BUNCH OF BOXES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD!"
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
4 months
"Wait a second! Those are fake hands!"
@SkyNews
Sky News
4 months
BREAKING: The AP (Associated Press) says the photo of Princess of Wales and her three children shows an inconsistency in the alignment of Princess Charlotte's left hand Full story ➡️ 📺 Sky 501, Virgin 602, Freeview 233 and YouTube
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
5 years
"Oh worse than Hitler, you wouldn't find Hitler playing jungle music at 3 o'clock in the morning."
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
4 years
"Don't call me Len, you little prick."
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
2 years
Greetings of the season to one and all. It is at this time of the year that we reflect upon all that is good in the world and ignore the evil that persists. For that reason, we won't be watching Mrs. Brown's Boys this evening, or any other evening. Happy Christmas!
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
5 months
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
3 years
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Father Ted Quote of the Day
3 years
"Well, I never... I've never... Tony... I'm putting you on my list of enemies."
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