UFC 270, GOING AGAINST NFL PLAYOFFS AND AFTER A PRICE INCREASE: *SELLS 35,000 BUYS*
DANA: SEE, FRANCIS ISNT A DRAW AND WE SHOULD PAY HIM LESS MONEY, ACTUALLY
THOUSANDS OF DWEEBS: *NODS SAGELY IN AGREEMENT*
I WONDER WHEN THE DAY WILL ARRIVE THAT I WON'T INTERNALLY LOSE IT THAT MY WORK DECIDED TO ABBREVIATE STUFF LIKE "CUMULATIVE VOLUME REPORTS" TO "CUMS" AND PRONOUNCE IT "CYOOMS"
LOVE TO GET COPIED ON AN EMAIL ASKING IF ANYONE UPDATED OR DOWNLOADED THE "LATEST AND GREATEST CUMS"
DANA: U FUKRS TALKED SHIT ABOUT 300, BUT IT DELIVERED!
ME, A FUCKER: OK, BUT WHY IS YOUR NEXT SHOW HEADLINED BY GLURP SHITTO VS HUNGUS MCCRUNGUS, WHO HASNT WON SINCE BEFORE WE HAD A COVID VACCINE
WALT TESTED POSITIVE FOR STEROIDS IN JUNE AND JULY, THEN WHEN HE WAS ASKED TO PROVIDE MORE SAMPLES IN AUGUST, HE HAD ADDITIONAL, NEW STEROIDS IN HIS SYSTEM
DAMN, DUDE
🚨| Walt Harris has accepted a four-year suspension following a failed drugs test in July 2023.
He will be eligible to return in July 2027.
[per Combat Sports Anti-Doping]
Every day there's something new in MMA
This fighter (Kemal Salih) indicated he didn't want to fight before even entering they cage. They made him go through all the introductions and started the fight anyway before waving it off.
#Octagon48
AMERICAN FIGHTERS GO TO JAPAN AND DRESS LIKE A SAMURAI TO SHOW RESPECT TO THE CULTURE
WE NEED JAPANESE FIGHTERS TO COME TO AMERICA AND DRESS LIKE COWBOYS
UFC: WE ARE NOW BIGGER THAN HOCKEY
ALSO UFC: THIS GUY WE JUST CALLED UP HAS BEEN PUTTING IN DOUBLE SHIFTS AT THE PAINT FACTORY ALL MONTH, AND WILL LIKELY NEED TO KEEP THAT JOB GOING FORWARD
ALSO ALSO UFC: ANYONE WANNA DONATE TO THIS FIGHTER'S GO FUND ME SO SHE CAN TRAIN??
AFTER LOSING TO DARREN ELKINS, HIS OPPONENTS HAVE GONE A COMBINED 21-29-1 IN THE UFC
2 GUYS HAVE WINNING RECORDS IN THAT SPAN, DIEGO BRANDAO AND CHAS SKELLY
A LOSS TO THE DAMAGE FUNDAMENTALLY BREAKS PEOPLE.
FEW THINGS DELIGHT ME MORE THAN INVENTING EARLY PRELIM ON A FIGHT CARD TIER FAKE UFC FIGHTERS
GRANTCH HOCKLIN, FORMER D3 WALK-ON WRESTLER IS MAKING HIS DEBUT VS THIAGO TIAGO THIAGO, THE 57TH BEST FIGHTER OUT OF MANAUS
UFC BONUS HISTORY (INCOMPLETE)
- 2011: MOTORCYCLE FOR TUF WINNERS (EITHER IMMEDIATELY CRASHED OR SOLD TO PAY RENT)
- 2018: SET OF TOYO TIRES FOR KO OF THE YEAR
- 2022: 0.000005% OF A CRYPTO
- 2024: BAG OF MAGIC BEANS
- 2025: BAG OF REGULAR BEANS
- 2026: ONE BEAN
SHOUT OUT TO EVERYONE IN MMA WHO GRINDS OUT FILM STUDY. IT IS SUCH A THANKLESS, POINTLESS ENDEAVOR BECAUSE FIGHTERS LOVE NOTHING MORE THAN TO TAKE A SKILLSET THEY HAVE A DEMONSTRABLE ADVANTAGE IN AND ABSOLUTELY REFUSE TO USE IT