Elroy Fudge @ElroyFudge Twitter profile

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

4 days

On my way to #Aurora , Colorado to help the Hell's Angels fuck these Venezuelan gangs up.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

13 days

Violent speech???

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

1 year

@KILLTHEICON @nypost "White Man Saves the Day By Preventing Black Junkie From Attacking Strangers on a Train"

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

11 years

British to American English translations: 1) Flat = Apartment 2) Flat-chested = Apartment-chested 3) Knob = Penis 4) Doorknob = Door Penis

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

11 years

"Daddy, what is sex?" "Well, let's say this donut you're eating represents a vagina..." (Grabs donut) "And my penis represents a penis..."

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

11 years

I have sex with women the same way that I hula hoop... By awkwardly moving my hips and hoping to keep it up for at least 10 seconds.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

8 months

@IlemJaphet @FAFO_TV Hope she didn't.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

1 year

@thatswiftbitch I literally looked better than that yesterday.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

11 years

When I see a sexy babe working the cash register at a store, I always buy lots of Imodium-AD so that she knows my diarrhea is under control.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

8 months

Me trying to impress women at the bar:

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

11 years

Some old guy on Craigslist offered me $50 to come over and toss his salad. HA! $50 just to stir a bowl of lettuce?! DEAL! Heading there now!

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

11 years

How to make a popular song nowadays: 1. Come up with a 5-word phrase 2. Repeat it over & over 3. Use a robot voice You just won a Grammy!

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

10 years

Good Cop: "There's fluid on the body" Ad Cop: "Maybe it's Maybelline?" Good Cop: "No, it's semen" Ad Cop: "I can't believe it's not butter"

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

11 years

Relationship status: Typing "relationship status" tweets on a Saturday night.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

11 years

If you write a tweet making fun of one-legged pedophiles, and somebody unfollows you right afterward, that person is a one-legged pedophile.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

1 month

My Aunt Gloria died today. :-( She was one of my most favorite aunts. When I was a kid, we'd go to her house and she would sneak me candy when my mom wasn't looking. RIP Auntie. ❤️

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

8 years

ALL public bathrooms are gender neutral if you're drunk enough.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

24 days

@SarahisCensored I have always voted Republican. But this year, my wife's boyfriend convinced me to vote for Kamala.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

11 years

It must've sucked before photos & email were invented, having to paint a portrait of your dick by hand and deliver it by horseback to women.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

3 months

Me staring at a hot chick at the bar to subtly let her know that I think she's pretty.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

27 days

I bet Kamala has long pencil-eraser nipples.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

11 years

I just found out today: The little clothes that they sell for Ken dolls fit perfectly on my penis. It looks SO cute in a little blazer.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

16 days

Things I would do if I was black: 1. Say "ax" instead of "ask" 2. Wear a do-rag 3. Call it "MacDonalds" instead of "McDonalds". 4. Call it an "am-bu-lance"... 5. Loot CVS at least once a week 6. Grow an afro in the winter 7. Post daily tweets about mayonnaise-ass honkey crackers

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

3 months

Me, after a long day of tweeting bangers.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

2 months

So he was a "no-call no-show" on Sunday??? Not good! I hope he gets fired.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

17 days

Do ALL women wear blue tape like that???

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

9 years

FUN DRINKING GAME: Drink every single day until you die.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

5 months

@DustyPee That's what you get for not springing for the $5k one.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

11 years

This Peanut Butter & KY Jelly sandwich tastes like shit.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

9 months

Goddammit Mom!!!!!!

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

19 days

Other than "exercise" and "stop drinking", neither of which I am willing to do, what are some other ways to lose weight?

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

5 months

Only two hours until the sun is blotted out from the sky and Jesus rides down on a white horse to take us all to Paradise. I've already quit my job and slaughtered my family and pets. I am ready!

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

11 years

Every Russian athlete in the Olympics has a smaller Russian athlete inside them, and an even smaller Russian athlete inside that one.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

11 years

Hey neighbor lady, if seeing me masturbate offends you, nobody's forcing you to look! Granted, I probably shouldn't be on your porch either.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

11 years

I just accidentally shot semen all over my cat. So I get it, people who accidentally shoot semen all over your cats... I get it.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

6 months

"Aaron Bushnell jokes are inappropriate!"

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

2 months

My realtor just helped me close on my first house!

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

5 months

Apparently the new girl I'm dating doesn't celebrate Easter. I'm not sure why.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

10 months

When you guys are being mean to me, this is who you're being mean to.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

8 months

What if the island that Tom Hanks was stranded on in Cast Away turned out to be Epstein's island the whole time????

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

11 years

Man: "Charades? Okay. It's a movie. Sounds like neck? Heck? Wreck? Is it Wreck-It Ralph?" *Woman dies* Man: "Oh, I see. You were choking."

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

1 month

Who the fuck steals a bike? You can literally get a bike on Facebook Marketplace for 40 fucking dollars.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

8 months

I set my alarm to buy that @Applebees Date Night Pass at 11am (the second it went on sale). And the website was down for 10 minutes. And then at 11:10am they announced they were sold out. My life is fucking ruined. This is my suicide note.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

12 days

. @zillow I am an interested buyer. Can you please confirm whether or not Jennifer Lopez has pooped in all 24 of them?

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

5 months

I caught these men chatting to one of my Twitter e-wives in the DMs. Who's next?

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

6 months

What in God's name?!

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

8 months

"Son, in this house, we don't call them Brazil nuts."

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

11 years

I'm gonna tell my kids at an early age that the normal color of poop is blue, just so they'll spend their whole lives thinking they're dying

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

5 months

If only my ex-girlfriends had collided with a planetary body....

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

11 years

Does anyone know why Little Miss Muffet was eating such absolute crap? Was she a Sudanese refugee or a runaway or what was going on there?

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

11 years

Missed Connection: You live 2 houses down from me. I broke in & stole your panties. You called 911. I get out of jail soon. Meet for coffee?

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

9 years

@JimNorton @amyschumer Too bad that kid was only 17. A grown man would've known better than to apologize to her for that harmless tweet.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

3 months

@talldarkthirsty

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

7 months

Why did this random stranger block me? :-(

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

9 months

"Mic check...Testing 1, 2, 3. Hello, everybody!" *Crowd murmurs* "NIGGER!" *Crowd roars with applause

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

2 months

I don't feel safe with Alec Baldwin on the loose.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

7 months

If I was black, I'd probably shoot people too.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

29 days

I bet Tim Walz has a huge collection of "Cheese Pizza" on his computer, if you catch my drift.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

2 months

Vaxxed???

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

1 month

Getting ready for bed.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

8 months

Woke up, coffee on, dick out.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

6 months

░B░U░R░G░E░R░░K░I░N░G░ ░R░E░S░U░M░E░░I░N░░B░I░O░

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

16 days

I don't see skin color. I judge people purely on nose size.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

7 years

I trained my cat to hate minorities.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

5 months

Heartbreaking photo of the man who set himself on fire outside of the courthouse today. Very sad!

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

11 months

Check out this guy in front of me. Horrible driver!

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

8 months

This area could be nuked off the map and I really wouldn't care.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

6 months

Me and LD celebrating his birthday together.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

4 months

"Some of you are getting too comfortable telling Lyle jokes."

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

2 months

Me watching my e-wives chat with other men on Twitter.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

4 months

I bought a new hat, ladies.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

7 months

So...just to be clear...everyone on Twitter drinks coffee, right?

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

8 months

Told somebody to "eat my shorts" this morning.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

2 months

George Floyd is watching the fireworks from Heaven.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

4 months

I'm climbing this bitch tonight.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

12 days

I think the sexy girl sitting next to me at the bar just farted.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

4 months

The Red Hot Chili Peppers should write a song about California.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

9 days

Scantily clad women on the TL. What a time to be alive.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

1 month

Guys....Yes? No?

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

8 months

What I'm gonna do if any of my female mutuals cyberbully me today.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

7 months

RIP Carl Weathers

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

6 months

Me when people make fun of my Skechers:

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

5 months

RIP O.J. Simpson. Great football player, great actor, great husband.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

25 days

How much child porn do you think Sam Smith has on his hard drive?

Dr. Jebra Faushay

@JebraFaushay

26 days

Watch Sam Smith perform in a prom dress and the diamond necklace from the old lady in the Titanic movie.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

7 months

I literally cannot tell black people apart at all. I saw a photo of Beyonce standing next to Morgan Freeman, and I had no idea which was which. They all look the same to me.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

3 months

I'm going to go see Cyndi Lauper in concert in November. Does that make me gay?

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

9 months

Me, when I'm full of some great tweet ideas.

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

6 months

Hooked up with this chick today. Her pussy was the weirdest thing I'd ever seen. Her ovaries were on the OUTSIDE of her body, and her clit was 8.5" long!!!! The human body is amazing!

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

22 days

What kind of person goes into a voting booth and voluntarily votes for a cunt wearing a hijab?

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Elroy Fudge

@ElroyFudge

6 months

I ordered the Mediocre Slam Breakfast at Denny's and this is what they gave me. :-(

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