Dustin Nickerson @DustinNickerson Twitter profile

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

1 month

Dad is on tour. Come to a show. Please? Thanks!

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Last Seen Profiles

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

5 months

Your Aunt on Facebook right now:

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

5 months

You mean to tell me that TOM BRADY made a career decision without thinking about how it would affect his family?!?!?

New York Post

@nypost

5 months

Tom Brady ‘didn’t like’ how Netflix roast jokes affected my kids

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

9 months

My wife just asked me my thoughts on Jason Kelce’s retirement. 3 months she did not know that he, nor the Philadelphia Eagles for the matter, even existed. Thank you Taylor Swift, you are literally bringing people together.

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

7 months

Bruno Mars and Shohei Ohtani seeing each other at the tables

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

3 years

Dudes would go to therapy if it was this

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

1 year

HBO Max to Max? Your move Peacock

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

4 months

Bruce Springsteen and John Fogerty watching Born in the USA and Fortunate Son be completely misunderstood today

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

3 years

My Southwest flight attendant just announced “listen nobody likes the masks but you agreed to it like 3 times before you got on this flight so if you’re not wearing one you’re just a liar” and honestly she’s my new hero.

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

9 months

Reading the Bible and taking a picture is funny because there’s literally a verse in there about not doing this kinda thing

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

3 months

Biden is out and I wish I lived in a timeline where an 81 year old retiring wasn’t such world impacting news.

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

5 years

If this is a judgment, it’s because @BethMooreLPM was told to “go home” and God was like “if Beth is home, EVERYONE IS HOME.”

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

4 years

This next stimulus is my favorite because it’s the one I know Dave Ramsey didn’t want me to have.

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

5 years

Every tourist in Seattle.

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

5 months

Angel Hernandez got fired years ago he just doesn’t know because he missed the call

FOX Sports: MLB

@MLBONFOX

5 months

Umpire Angel Hernandez is reportedly retiring from Major League Baseball, per @BNightengale

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

3 months

Parents: it’s time for bed Toddlers:

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

4 years

You’ve heard of elf on a shelf but have you heard of...

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

4 years

Church.

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

3 years

Nobody was funnier than Norm MacDonald. I don’t know any comedian that didn’t love him. The best of the best. He also had the single greatest late night set of all time on his last Letterman appearance. RIP Norm.

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

20 days

Congrats Jedd Fisch. Tell Kalen Deboer it’s easier to beat Michigan when you don’t interview for a different job the week before. Go Huskies.

NBC Sports

@NBCSports

20 days

"For our team and for last year's team, I hope we have some good redemption." Jedd Fisch knows how special last night's win was for the University of Washington.

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

4 years

All these politicians getting Covid is a reminder that non essential workers are at risk too.

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

2 months

The hardest part about being a Seattle Mariners fan is that when it really comes down to it, what you’re most upset about is knowing you want this team to win more than the ownership does.

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

4 years

Why I never trusted the Johnson and Johnson shot

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

4 years

Will I be spending thanksgiving with my family? TOO EARLY TO CALL

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

6 years

People who complain about social media forget that friends used to try and show your their vacation pictures IN PERSON.

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

3 years

Today is a great day to hear middle aged men complain about the two things they know best: mental health and gymnastics.

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

11 months

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce is the greatest union for white people since they started putting Starbucks in Target

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

1 year

The person I hate the most online is me on Facebook 12 years ago

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

11 months

The important of the CFP Committee

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

22 days

The senior pastor and the youth pastor

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

4 months

@KevOnStage

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

3 years

Ok former youth pastor idea: have we tried writing “Covid” on a piece of paper and burning it in the campfire?

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

10 months

Me fretting over the Seahawks losing Pete Carroll, the Huskies maybe losing Kalen DeBoer and the Mariners doing nothing all offseason… *The Kraken

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

3 years

This show said no to 4.5 minutes of my stand up comedy

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

4 years

Golf being one of the first sports back on tv feels like when you’re hungry and your mom offers you a banana. Ok, I wasn’t THAT hungry.

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

6 months

Between Taylor Swift and Caitlin Clark it has been a brutal year for men who love sports and hate women.

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

5 years

Just opened my @Delta app for a little nostalgia

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

2 years

Oh really? Public school doesn’t teach important life skills? Then why do I know how to square dance?

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

5 years

Everyday feels like gum that lost its flavor.

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

4 years

My daughter says I’m the best dad in the world but she also thinks Jared Leto was the best joker so I don’t trust her judgement

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

2 years

Every work meeting should start with “hey we’re all gonna die and none of this really matters, so keep that in mind before any one gets too worked up here”

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

3 years

Tom Brady made it 39 days with his middle schoolers and decided to go back to getting hit for a living

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

2 years

Work meetings are fun because why not be unproductive but together

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

3 years

Padres didn’t play tonight and had the same amount of hits as the Dodgers

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

1 year

Trying not to fanboy over a @minakimes sighting

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

3 months

@KevOnStage Fixed it

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

9 months

If I was Volkswagen, I would not be reminding people of what I was up to in the 1940’s

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

5 years

Holding my ground that teenagers are indeed, not real people yet.

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

5 years

It took a global pandemic but at least everyone knows who their governor is now.

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

7 months

No Context Brits

@NoContextBrits

7 months

Who should be the next James Bond?

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

2 months

There’s a lot people on here making fun of this. Masculinity is in such a weird spot that some dudes are so insecure they can’t handle seeing a son love his father and a father accepting those emotions. Sorry your dad sucked. It’s not your fault.

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

1 year

Diamondbacks Rangers feels like if Thursday Night Football was the World Series

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

6 years

I’d support longer security lines if they’d inspect which feet should be allowed to wear flip flops on the plane 🤢

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

1 year

Offered to trade seats so a mom could sit next to her teenage son on a plane. She said yes, he said no. Teenagers still 100% on brand

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

4 years

Just got my stimulus check

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

1 year

When Sweet Caroline comes on at the wedding…

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

1 year

Pretty on brand for Altuve to cut a corner

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

5 years

Hilarious how two weeks ago we used to pay for escape rooms.

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

5 years

Flight attendant: cookies? crackers? Woman in 17B: neither. I’m gluten free Entire rest of plane 🙄🙄🙄| |🙄🙄🙄 🙄🙄🙄| |🙄🙄🙄 🙄🙄🙄| |🙄🙄🙄 🙄🙄🙄| |🙄🙄🙄 🙄🙄🙄| |🙄🙄🙄 🙄🙄🙄| |🙄🙄🙄 🙄🙄🙄| |🙄🙄🙄 🙄🙄🙄| |🙄🙄🙄 🙄🙄🙄| |🙄🙄🙄 🙄🙄🙄| |🙄🙄🙄 🙄🙄🙄 🚽

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

4 years

This year feels like the earth sneezed on us with food in its mouth

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

4 years

“Taking a knee during the national anthem is disrespectful to this country”

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

4 months

When someone starts to explain the rules of a board game

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

5 months

@cmmcguire Didn’t realize it was made by him, crediting now

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

5 years

When you home with eggs 😎🍳

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

3 months

Sorry to upstage the Olympics but I just ran from A7 to D47 in the Atlanta airport in 11 minutes to make my connection 🥇

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

2 years

Gronk is like if a red solo cup was a person

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

2 years

Good news everyone. Tonight I get to take a break from promoting my book because James Corden is going to do it for me on the @latelateshow

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

1 year

Houston Cheaters

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

4 years

Me, when people fight in my comments section knowing it helps the algorithm

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

3 years

Tom Brady came back after 39 days? Let me tell you about about someone who was only gone for 3… Open your bibles…

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

1 year

Baby you’re a firework You’re loud, you look bad in pictures, and my dogs are scared of you

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

6 months

My kids as soon we put a home cooked meal on the table

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

4 years

Hard to have too much faith in the government when their big plan for vaccination is having old people make online appointments

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

1 year

This marketing for the Oppenheimer movie is wild.

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

1 year

Lance Armstrong leading a discussion on fairness in sports would be like Will Smith telling us how to take a joke

Lance Armstrong

@lancearmstrong

1 year

Is there not a world in which one can be supportive of the transgender community and curious about the fairness of Trans athletes in sport yet not be labeled a transphobe or a bigot as we ask questions? Do we yet know the answers? And do we even want to know the answers?

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

3 years

Marriage is great if you want a best friend that periodically hates you.

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

3 years

I want this man to tell me everything that has ever happened

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

5 months

Image by @SLCLunk . Didn’t realize you made this, sorry for not crediting

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

3 years

When someone insults your wife, the proper response is somewhere in between Will Smith and Ted Cruz.

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

3 years

Joe Burrow’s national championship was the start to this pandemic so his super bowl might as well be the end of it

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

1 year

I’ll tell you who’s excited about the Cracker Barrel boycott

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

3 years

“Name one thing you have to start doing when you turn 30”

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

15 days

@Seahawks @lumentechco Mood

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

6 years

I can’t imagine being so bored that I have a strong opinion on a commercial

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

5 years

Marie Kondo’s impact on parenting. (w/ @johnbcrist and @realaaronweber )

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

2 years

Another option would be to stop interviewing Kanye

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

6 years

“Hey Dustin, what’s it like touring with @johnbcrist ?”

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

7 years

Imagine being so unmotivated that a Ted talk makes a big impact in your life

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

2 years

My new comedy special Runs in the Family is officially out on YouTube now!

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

3 years

Trans Siberian Orchestra is seasonal Nickleback

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

7 years

The @Seahawks are undefeated while I'm in Kauai so I'm taking one for the team and will just live here now.

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

5 years

What’s great about working the road with @johnbcrist is always having a friend to talk to

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

2 years

Joe Biden might cancel $10,000 in student loans but let me tell you about someone who will forgive ALL your debt. Open your bibles…

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

7 months

The Royal family rolling out the new Kate Middleton…

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

2 years

The side characters in Rudolph are now just dudes you’d see in Brooklyn

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

22 days

Me: I can’t believe everyone was so crazy about getting Taylor Swift tickets Also me when Oasis goes on sale:

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

4 years

Today’s Send News is all good news as Snoop selling wine is the win we all needed right now

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

21 days

I have bad news for people disappointed in the new Joker movie: The first one was bad too

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

3 years

Make him the Jeopardy host you cowards

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

3 years

You guys know who only quarantined for 3 days? Open your Bibles…

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Dustin Nickerson

@DustinNickerson

3 years

A lot of comedians have been posting about their sold out dates and added shows so just wanted to give y’all an update on mine! Get those 🎟’s now! Or later honestly you’ll probably be fine.

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