Diane Langberg, PhD @DianeLangberg Twitter profile

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Diane Langberg, PhD

8 years

I am so sorry that due to the nature of my work and the ethics involved in my profession, I am not able to provide individual responses.

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Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

3 years

Never assume that someone who is gifted verbally and has theological knowledge is spiritually wise and mature.

41

509

4K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

4 years

The length of the grieving is determined by the griever - not by how long you, as comforter, can stand to be sad.

21

442

2K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

2 years

When you sit with a griever, your work is to be with them where they are, not drag them out where you are more comfortable.

25

303

2K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

3 years

May we know Christ so well in 2022 that we can discern what is unlike Him no matter the seductive or religious garb it wears.

13

291

2K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

2 years

We damage the dignity of others when we refuse to wait for them – whether they need to tie their own shoes or they are struggling to find words for the indescribable. We bestow honor on another when we consider him or her worth waiting for.

29

357

2K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

2 years

Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a man who stood for Christ and against not just Hitler but also the Christendom of his day, penned this benediction from prison: “May God in His mercy lead us through these times; but above all, may He lead us to Himself.”

14

292

2K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

3 years

When you sit with a griever, your work is to be with him where he is, not drag him out where you are more comfortable.

18

354

2K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

3 years

We will crush traumatized humans if we place on them the expectation that if they did faith right they would be instantly fine.

30

402

2K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

4 years

Christianity does not look like praying and singing and giving money while ignoring the screams, unspeakable suffering, filth, and death of others. Christianity is not calling others *them*—somehow unlike us, not human, deserving of their suffering.

14

447

2K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

2 years

We will crush traumatized humans if we place on them the expectation that if they did faith right they would be instantly fine.

42

335

2K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

3 years

Every time we treat someone with dignity rather than shame, respect rather than disregard, concern rather than exploitation, kindness rather than brutality and careful attention rather than turning away – we are doing things that are the reverse of trauma and evil.

21

421

2K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

2 years

We damage the dignity of others when we refuse to wait for them – whether they need to tie their own shoes or they are struggling to find words for the indescribable. We bestow honor on another when we consider him or her worth waiting for.

37

351

2K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

2 years

When you sit with a griever, your work is to be with him where he is, not drag him out where you are more comfortable.

12

277

2K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

5 years

We damage the dignity of others when we refuse to wait for them – whether they need to tie their own shoes or they are struggling to find words for the indescribable. We bestow honor on another when we consider him or her worth waiting for.

27

394

2K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

2 years

Repentance is not seen in tears; it is not seen in words; it is not seen in emotion. Repentance is long, slow, consistent change over an extended period of time because it is from the heart outward. Heart change is supernatural work.

15

320

2K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

5 years

Christianity does not look like praying and singing and giving money while ignoring the screams, unspeakable suffering, filth, and death of others. Christianity is not calling others *them*—somehow unlike us, not human, deserving of their suffering.

12

357

2K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

3 years

Christianity does not look like praying and singing and giving money while ignoring the screams, unspeakable suffering, filth, and death of others. Christianity is not calling others *them*—somehow unlike us, not human, deserving of their suffering.

8

288

2K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

2 years

Never assume that someone who is gifted verbally and has theological knowledge is spiritually wise and mature.

12

240

2K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

3 years

The length of the grieving is determined by the griever - not by how long you, as comforter, can stand to be sad.

12

382

2K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

3 years

A pastor with a theological degree and knowledge of Scripture can lift words out of those Scriptures, pronounce them with authority, and wound those under their care. An ability to articulate theological truths does not mean the speaker is an obedient servant of God.

26

235

2K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

2 years

Trauma stories do not first come out with a beginning, middle and an end. They come out in broken pieces, disordered and perhaps unclear.

24

280

2K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

3 years

We damage the dignity of others when we refuse to wait for them – whether they need to tie their own shoes or they are struggling to find words for the indescribable. We bestow honor on another when we consider him or her worth waiting for.

20

288

2K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

2 years

If you are going to enter into the suffering of those who have been traumatized, you have to learn how to sit with and listen to fear, anger and great grief with compassion and understanding. You will also have to learn how to do it for far longer than you prefer.

29

274

1K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

3 years

The length of the grieving is determined by the griever, not by how long you, as a comforter, can stand to be sad. Your work is to be with them where they are, not drag them out where you are more comfortable.

18

344

2K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

2 years

Contrary to popular belief, children are not resilient, a word which simply means they can return to their original state. They do not “bounce back” from abuse.

18

270

1K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

2 years

Jesus’s strongest rebukes were for those religious leaders who used the words of God to crush and control.

16

272

1K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

3 years

Unhealthy systems want to kill the one who is pointing out the cancer rather than killing the cancer.

17

295

1K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

3 years

You do not need to be extraordinary. You need to be the ordinary inhabited by the extraordinary life of God. A word, a meal, a cup of cold water, have the capacity to bring the life of God to this world and delight His heart.

9

232

1K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

4 years

Oppression is literally a crushing of the image of God in humans. To say or do nothing when power is abused is to contribute to the defacing of God’s image in others. In other words, it is to join with the enemy of God who sought to destroy that same image.

4

395

1K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

3 years

If you are going to enter into the suffering of those who have been traumatized, you have to learn how to sit with and listen to fear, anger and great grief with compassion and understanding. You will also have to learn how to do it for far longer than you prefer.

19

263

1K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

3 years

Trauma stories do not first come out with a beginning, middle and an end. They come out in broken pieces, disordered and perhaps unclear.

13

228

1K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

2 years

Never assume that someone who is gifted verbally and has theological knowledge is spiritually wise and mature.

17

208

1K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

2 years

When a body is so broken that it is entirely dependent on the care of others or a mind is basically gone, we are called to give dignity to what remains, for it still houses one created in the image of God.

12

146

1K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

5 years

I swore never to be silent whenever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Sometimes we must interfere. — Elie Wiesel

9

444

1K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

3 years

Suffering people often need others to have faith and hope for them. Admonitions to hope or trust only often result in despair; if the sufferers were able, they would do so. It is often helpful to say, “I know you struggle to hope right now. I will hope for you.”

16

265

1K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

2 years

A pastor with a theological degree and knowledge of Scripture can lift words out of those Scriptures, pronounce them with authority, and wound those under their care. An ability to articulate theological truths does not mean the speaker is an obedient servant of God.

43

167

1K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

3 years

Jesus’s strongest rebukes were for those religious leaders who used the words of God to crush and control.

19

223

1K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

3 years

When a body is so broken that it is entirely dependent on the care of others or a mind is basically gone, we are called to give dignity to what remains, for it still houses one created in the image of God.

16

143

1K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

10 months

Every time we treat someone with dignity rather than shame, respect rather than disregard, concern rather than exploitation, kindness rather than brutality and careful attention rather than turning away – we are doing things that are the reverse of trauma and evil.

14

311

1K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

3 years

Teach your church that any form of abuse is NEVER acceptable to God no matter who does it or how important the abuser is. Call your people to holiness in all the corners of their lives.

14

202

1K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

4 years

When the mourner tells you what they feel and think - you do not teach. You listen; you bear witness; you reassure because you understand the nature of grief.

6

224

1K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

3 years

We often assume that if sufferers are bringing God’s glory into their suffering they will not scream or bleed, but sit quietly, hands folded and smile peacefully. Glory is never found in such pretense. Our glorious Lord screamed and bled.

10

224

1K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

3 years

We often seem to want people who have suffered terrible things to just “get over it”. They cannot. Evil has real impact and does real damage.

21

244

1K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

4 years

It is never helpful to remind one grieving of what they have not lost or of the fact that it could have been worse. We do not grieve what we have but what we do not have. We compare our loss to the good we had, not to the bad that never happened. The empty space is that - empty.

9

224

1K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

6 years

Clergy sexual abuse is not an affair; pedophilia is not about struggling with difficult circumstances; molesting adolescents is not about a struggling marriage. Such things must be called by their right names- the abuser needs to be held responsible for his/her abusive behavior.

18

220

1K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

10 months

We damage the dignity of others when we refuse to wait for them – whether they need to tie their own shoes or they are struggling to find words for the indescribable. We bestow honor on another when we consider him or her worth waiting for.

11

218

1K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

2 years

We must never assume that someone who is gifted verbally and has theological knowledge is spiritually wise and mature. Sometimes that leader is power hungry and self-serving, working the system and the people in it to feed him/herself.

25

150

1K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

3 years

Not a single word in the Beatitudes relates to human notions of what a kingdom is like. Human ideas of kingdom building focus on nation, race, tribe, military strength, and wealth. Jesus teaches that greatness in His kingdom is found in the character that reflects His likeness.

9

146

1K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

3 years

Do not think you cannot kill a soul with words alone. Do not think, “Well, at least he didn’t hit her.” Yes, he did. He just didn’t use his fists.

15

183

1K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

4 years

When a body is so broken that it is entirely dependent on the care of others or a mind is basically gone, we are called to give dignity to what remains, for it still houses one created in the image of God.

9

100

1K

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

2 years

The length of the grieving is determined by the griever, not by how long you, as a comforter, can stand to be sad. Your work is to be with them where they are, not drag them out where you are more comfortable.

18

214

995

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

2 years

Know Christ so well you can discern what is unlike Him no matter the seductive or religious garb it wears. God is building His kingdom in the hearts of men and women, not in the externals we have come to love and protect and praise.

10

186

986

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

11 months

Contrary to popular belief, children are not resilient, a word which simply means they can return to their original state. They do not “bounce back” from abuse.

18

205

988

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

2 years

One of the characteristics of dealing with trauma is the repetitious nature of that work. Survivors will say the same things over and over. They will be repetitious in dealing with their emotions. They will repeat their losses again and again.

22

151

983

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

2 years

Suffering people often need others to have faith and hope for them. Admonitions to hope or trust only often result in despair; if the sufferers were able, they would do so. It is often helpful to say, “I know you struggle to hope right now. I will hope for you.”

19

208

981

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

3 years

Trauma brings silence because it feels like there are no words to really describe what happened. Many times people need us to sit with them in silence. It is a way of joining with them so they are not alone in their experience of struggling to find words.

16

217

974

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

3 years

When the mourner tells you what they feel and think - you do not teach. You listen; you bear witness; you reassure because you understand the nature of grief.

7

187

963

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

3 years

As Christians, in our disagreeing we must never dismiss or de-humanize another or we become ungodly. The trashing, demeaning, humiliating and labeling of others is horrifying and grieves the heart of our God.

12

153

972

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

3 years

Every time we treat someone with dignity rather than shame, respect rather than disregard, concern rather than exploitation, kindness rather than brutality and careful attention rather than turning away – we are doing things that are the reverse of trauma and evil.

6

254

956

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

4 years

Timely reminder from Elie Wiesel: “I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality always helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.”

6

282

948

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

2 years

Clergy sexual abuse is not an affair; pedophilia is not about struggling with difficult circumstances; molesting adolescents is not about a struggling marriage. Such things must be called by their right names- the abuser needs to be held responsible for his/her abusive behavior.

19

133

943

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

4 years

I fear we often tend to select leaders in the Christian world according to gifting rather than character. We have watched large institutions - ones we believed successful and godly - come apart when there is exposure of ungodly but “successful” leadership. Integrity must lead.

19

183

922

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

2 years

Clergy sexual abuse is not an affair; pedophilia is not about struggling with difficult circumstances; molesting adolescents is not about a struggling marriage. Such things must be called by their right names- the abuser needs to be held responsible for his/her abusive behavior.

15

163

925

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

4 years

Teach your church that any form of abuse is NEVER acceptable to God no matter who does it or how important the abuser is. Call your people to holiness in all the corners of their lives.

15

194

900

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

3 years

Know Christ so well you can discern what is unlike Him no matter the seductive or religious garb it wears. God is building His kingdom in the hearts of men and women, not in the externals we have come to love and protect and praise.

6

177

915

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

2 years

It is always the responsibility of the person with power to maintain the integrity of the relationship. Always.

8

156

898

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

3 years

You will never meet, talk to, walk with, or work beside a human being who has not been purposefully knit together by the hands of our Father. Never. We are all one race, and in that race, all are image bearers. There are no exceptions.

8

128

897

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

10 months

Trauma has a profound spiritual impact. Trauma raises questions about who God is. Victims are uncertain of His character; His faithfulness; His love and His capacity to keep us, to be our refuge. Trauma mutilates hope; it shatters faith; it turns the world upside-down.

23

177

891

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

2 years

It misrepresents God when we tell victims of atrocious, life-changing abuse to simply forgive and forget. Forgiveness of any wrong, let alone a life-shattering one, is never a “just do it” task.

26

149

889

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

4 years

You do not need to be extraordinary. You need to be the ordinary inhabited by the extraordinary life of God. A word, a meal, a cup of cold water, have the capacity to bring the life of God to this world and delight His heart.

14

155

888

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

5 years

We must never assume that someone who is gifted verbally and has theological knowledge is spiritually wise and mature. Sometimes that leader is a well-disguised narcissist, working the system and the people in it to feed himself.

25

183

871

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

4 years

Every time we treat someone with dignity rather than shame, respect rather than disregard, concern rather than exploitation, kindness rather than brutality and careful attention rather than turning away – we are doing things that are the reverse of trauma and evil.

12

258

867

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

2 years

Every time we treat someone with dignity rather than shame, respect rather than disregard, concern rather than exploitation, kindness rather than brutality and careful attention rather than turning away – we are doing things that are the reverse of trauma and evil.

8

211

864

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

3 years

Contrary to popular belief, children are not resilient, a word which simply means they can return to their original state. They do not “bounce back” from abuse.

12

155

866

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

3 years

Trauma does not heal apart from being spoken and it needs to be heard in the context of a safe relationship where the dignity of the one crushed is restored.

5

227

857

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

4 years

It is very common for survivors of chronic childhood abuse to say, “I am fine” when in fact they do not even know what “fine” feels like.

11

148

859

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

4 years

The length of the grieving is determined by the griever, not by how long you, as a comforter, can stand to be sad. Your work is to be with them where they are, not drag them out where you are more comfortable.

4

188

862

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

4 years

We damage the dignity of others when we refuse to wait for them – whether they need to tie their own shoes or they are struggling to find words for the indescribable. We bestow honor on another when we consider him or her worth waiting for.

18

165

863

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

3 years

It is always the responsibility of the person with power to maintain the integrity of the relationship. Always.

6

135

856

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

2 years

Grief is work. It takes tremendous energy and is often exhausting. But it is a worthwhile task and you will not heal by avoiding it.

12

144

858

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

2 years

Jesus’ strongest words were for those religious leaders who used the words of God to crush and destroy humanity.

9

163

857

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

2 years

As Christians, in our disagreeing we must never dismiss or de-humanize another or we become ungodly. The trashing, demeaning, humiliating and labeling of others is horrifying and grieves the heart of our God.

22

149

856

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

4 years

Verbal power is a tremendous power. People who have a command of words, or are articulate, can dominate a conversation, a room, a relationship, a group or a nation. Words can be used to influence, shape and encourage or to humiliate, deceive, maneuver and control.

7

275

835

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

3 years

I fear that a portion of Christendom today has become less interested in truth and more interested in power. We have acquired fame, money, status, reputation, and little kingdoms.

17

136

849

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

4 years

Healing generational trauma is like turning a very large ship. It must be done little by little or the ship will sink. But if you turn it, even a bit, the passengers on the ship will now be facing a different way-they will have a different view. The unimaginable becomes possible.

5

180

836

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

3 years

Tears require strength and courage because they mean facing pain.

6

144

838

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

3 years

Clergy sexual abuse is not an affair; pedophilia is not about struggling with difficult circumstances; molesting adolescents is not about a struggling marriage. Such things must be called by their right names- the abuser needs to be held responsible for his/her abusive behavior.

19

126

827

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

5 years

Every time we treat someone with dignity rather than shame, respect rather than disregard, concern rather than exploitation, kindness rather than brutality and careful attention rather than turning away – we are doing things that are the reverse of trauma and evil.

7

277

830

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

3 years

A pastor with a theological degree and knowledge of Scripture can lift words out of those Scriptures, pronounce them with authority, and wound those under their care. An ability to articulate theological truths does not mean the speaker is an obedient servant of God.

17

135

830

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

9 months

When you sit with a griever, your work is to be with him where he is, not drag him out where you are more comfortable.

9

158

811

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

3 years

For many people trauma is not a terrifying event followed by care but rather an utterly and relentlessly terrifying life. As a result, the individual develops vigilance, constant anticipation of danger, chronic anxiety and terror. He or she is never at ease.

16

167

806

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

2 years

The length of the grieving is determined by the griever - not by how long you, as comforter, can stand to be sad.

6

122

811

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

3 years

Suffering people often need others to have faith and hope for them. Admonitions to hope or trust only often result in despair; if the sufferers were able, they would do so. It is often helpful to say, “I know you struggle to hope right now. I will hope for you.”

24

177

801

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

3 years

Learn how to sit and be quiet with one who is suffering. When we don’t know what to say, it is usually best to say nothing rather than allow our discomfort with silence and pain to drive us to rattle off an answer.

9

157

791

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

2 years

We need to understand that neither grace nor forgiveness means letting people do what they want or giving them what they feel they must have. Grace is not a lack of restrictions. In fact, sometimes the thing that is most grace-filled is restriction.

15

177

794

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

3 years

When someone thinks verbal repentance and a few tears are all that is necessary for restoration to leadership or marriage, the addiction to deceit remains alive and well.

12

128

786

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

3 years

Everyone, no matter their birthplace or capacity or *unlikeness to you* is an image bearer of God.

5

116

786

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

2 years

Numerous studies have documented that it is rare for children or adults to lie about abuse. When victims do lie about abuse, they tend to lie to protect their offender, not to get him or her into trouble.

17

177

781

Diane Langberg, PhD

@DianeLangberg

4 years

Everyone, no matter their birthplace or capacity or *unlikeness to you* is an image bearer of God.

2

134

780