Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet @Design_Assassin Twitter profile

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

6 months

Adulthood is just repetitively saying “...But after this week, things will finally slow down a little” to people, until you either retire or die.

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

3 months

It's time we make you forget your name

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

3 months

Go for the jugular... 🥹

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

7 months

She's a 10, but in this economy, she's a 14. Then after tax, she's a solid 7.8.

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

4 months

Priorities.

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

6 months

Perfect Twitter Comebacks 101 🫰

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

6 months

F is for Friday, and... 😏

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

2 months

👀

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

3 months

🩵

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

2 months

Yours out at dinner, yours for dessert ♡

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

6 months

I once knew a guy who covered his ballsack in glitter. It was really pretty nuts.

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

7 months

Don't block me 🙏😅

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

3 months

Snugglefuck and chill? 🥹

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

5 months

@benedictsred So how the hell did I end up with 12 apples? I was simply sitting under a tree... 🤷

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

4 months

@EmmaScott Don't forget the thoughts and prayers. That'll stop it...

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

5 months

Men, Winter's over. What's stopping you from looking like this?

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

3 months

May your hump day be humpy 😏

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

2 years

One's man's expensive midlife crisis, is another man's psychotic break. ~ Confucius, on Elon and Ye / Kanye

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

1 year

Can vouch.

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

6 months

Get you a girl with a nice cookie

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

5 months

Swing Low, Sweet Chariot 🎶

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

1 year

There are two wolves inside of you and both of them are perverts 🐺

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

16 days

THIS is how your email finds me.

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

2 years

Pets vs Optical Illusions. Smart cat, though 😂

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

1 year

QT a selfie that could be a poster *Lost a bet and had to post a selfie 😭

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

3 months

Let's taco bout it over dinner...

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

4 months

This is how your email finds me...

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

13 days

I told my therapist about you - me, flirting

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

5 months

It's a vase with a flower. Allegedly.

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

6 months

Oh, you need diet tips? Sure. Your pants can't get too tight if you don’t wear any.

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

5 months

There's three raccoons inside you. And at least one of them acts like this.

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

1 year

One of the better mash-ups of this. Canadian road rage car window punch guy vs The White Stripes 🎶👊

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

1 year

Fine. Thighs it is. They'd be better wrapped round his head, but sadly that'll have to wait 🙄😏

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

4 months

She was not one in a million; she was once in a lifetime ♡

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

6 days

Rich men will remove perfectly working app features, rather than go to therapy, and it shows

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

1 year

Fisher Price My Little Frat Party™ 🎉

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

1 month

Thinking of starting a cult. Who's in?

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

5 months

Do not pee on the dolphins you freaks

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

6 months

Some people just soften your edges

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

8 months

I'm a slut for intellectual intercourse

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

8 months

Need a last minute Valentine's gift?

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

1 year

Make your followers fall in love with your eyes. - RT/QT yours - Oh, sure! Am I doing this right? 👀 Do you all love my eyes?? Think I nailed it...

💯ℂ𝕣𝕒𝕫𝕪𝔸𝔽👑🍑𝔹𝕦𝕥ℂ𝕦𝕥𝕖💯

@Crazy_ButCute2

1 year

Make your followers fall in love with your eyes

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

9 months

Screenshot this to see what you’re getting for Valentine’s Day 👀 Quote tweet the result. Let it run, it’s long

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

7 months

I know weekend Twitter's dead, but raise your hand if you're not a corpse

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

4 months

Out of interest, cos you're all pervs 😂

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

2 years

Me: when the weather's so cold, and your nipples turn into Valerian steel. In case any of you were wondering...

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

20 days

(•_•) >) )- Don't cha wish / \ (•_•) √( (< your girlfriend was / \ (•_•)/ >) ) hot like me / \

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

1 month

Lovable weirdo checking in.

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

9 months

You, but no face No face I can do. I do have hips, hiding in this summer maxi dress throwback

Lost Girl

@VodkaMuse

9 months

You, but no face.

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

2 years

Someone who truly values you, and really wants to be in your life, will find a way to make it happen.

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

3 months

Some people just make your bits tingle

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

6 months

Happy National No Pants Day! So just a normal day for me 👀 Pants are overrated. *Except lingerie

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

2 years

Some people will never know what they could've had until it's gone. Don't be one of them.

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

9 months

Babe, can you peel my orange? The orange:

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

9 months

Love me like you love fries

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

1 year

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just to be sure.

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

9 months

The only regular exercise some of you do, is jumping to conclusions, and it shows

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

7 months

Hey women, it's okay. There's plenty of fish in the sea. The fish in the sea:

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

5 months

Welcome to your 40s. Your safe word is: Ibuprofen.

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

5 months

QT a sexy pic of you… It's not what I'd usually call sexy, but it's all you're getting on the timeline 😂

Prof Fox, Dark Blue Academic🦊⚡️🌹🖤

@darkxfer

5 months

QT a sexy pic of you…

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

2 months

🥵

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

10 months

Are you really broken, or just slightly malfunctioning and in need of a warranty service?

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

2 years

The look of absolute and utter sheer disappointment when the a-hole cat steals your dog bed. Poor doggo 😆

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

2 months

Time is not refundable. Don't waste it.

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

10 months

Might start responding to rude people using 18th century insults. You, Sir, are a fopdoodle! A blatherskite who talks gobbledygook. An utter nincompoop, with the combined hindsight of a flock of blind geese!

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

1 month

QT a photo of you without your face My speciality! These QT trends make me realize I gotta take more clothed selfies 🤭

Molly

@mistrustme1

1 month

QT A photo of you without your face

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

1 year

For those that feel 'broken' from traumas and life, just remember: those cracks are where the light gets in ♡

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

8 months

I'm sorry if someone you loved, made you think that you are hard to love. It doesn't make it true.

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

23 days

Pro-tip: if you're going to have 29 or more simultaneous Twitter girlfriends, why not just chuck them all in a DM room next time? Then you only have to "good morning, gorgeous" once on every platform. Rookie error.

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

1 year

RT & QT with your most recent B&W ✌🏻🫶🏻😎 Don't faint. Rare bedhead specimen.

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

9 months

Fuck normal. I want magic with you ♡

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

1 year

Drop a pic of you that could be an album cover 🖤 🎶 *I may or may not have been on one

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

1 year

Let's get weird and run away together

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

1 year

Russian dolls are so full of themselves

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

1 year

Who said romance was dead? 🥹😍

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

2 years

HAPPY HUMP DAY! Ya pervs 🖤 I don't normally post my ass on the internet, butt here I am posting my ass on the internet. The cashews are working...

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

1 year

Not to brag, but I just rubbed one out

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

23 days

I'm high value, low-maintenance.

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

3 months

Paint me like one of your French pole vaulters

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

10 months

Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me. *Unless it's that thing that I like

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

10 months

Social media: where grammar and spelling go to die.

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

2 years

@ClubPhotos_ Key things to note in this #photo 😏

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

2 months

Your imperfections are part of your perfection

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

10 months

Happy New Year to the lovers, good weirdos, & freaks. Thanks for tolerating my dad & dick jokes, typos, and branded weirdness; you can expect the same mediocrity tomorrow. Props for keeping me highly amused whilst I rolled with the punches. May 2024 bring you only good things 💚

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

2 years

It's such ice cream weather, isn't it?

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

4 months

Post a black and white 🖤🤍 *Seldom selfie of sleepless bedhead Lia, because brain-dead and on briefly

Lost Girl

@VodkaMuse

4 months

Post a black and white 🖤🤍

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

1 year

The biggest risk in life, is not taking any risks at all.

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

1 month

Shh, shhh 🤭

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

1 year

Hakuna my Tata's?

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

7 months

Why do we call it ‘common sense’ when it seems to be so uncommon?

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

10 months

Deliciously breathless, your pearly fluids decorate my skin. Your hands, branding me as your own. #15WordPoet

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

2 years

In a world full of bullshitters, it's increasingly rare to find the truly genuine ones. Those who backup words with action, are my kind of people.

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

2 years

Happy Easter, ya pervs!

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

27 days

I only steal hearts and souls. And fries, and hoodies, and band tees

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

7 months

Be kind to people today. Especially be kind to yourself.

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

2 years

I'm not sure if you can upsize to a medium-size slut from a small 99¢ one, but the corn dog is one size fits all. For a limited time only, while stocks last.

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Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

5 months

Empathy is underrated.

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