JESUS @DereksNtFunny Twitter profile

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

8 days

I almost had him. Unfortunately, fat floats

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@Gamzeets

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@AIBECK_

@EDACEDI

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@wittleredd

@colepier_

@qdzjoe

@tsu_hu__

JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

5 months

Don’t laugh, he gave me the secret recipe

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

5 months

Soooo, literally selling bibles. Holy fuckerballs.

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

2 months

Sums it up

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

9 months

Saint Peter was telling me a bus load of 50 priests recently crashed, instantly killing them all. They are at my pearly gates and Pete asks “how many of you have abused kids?” They all mumbled then 49 raised their hands. Pete said “off to Hell with you. And take the deaf one”

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

6 months

I remember this. Bad day

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

4 months

I will be 2024 years old this May, how old will you be

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

5 months

This cameo was cut, but I nailed it. Get it? Nailed

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

8 months

I wouldn’t touch him, so another guy stepped in. They are apparently pretty close.

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

5 months

I love fucking with you all

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

4 months

Still waiting for OJ to arrive up here. His ride must be late

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

4 months

My dad is teabagging everyone today. Enjoy

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

6 months

Gets you every time

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

4 months

My followers haven’t read a single fucking word

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

8 months

If you have seen the genocide, wars, concentration camps, school shootings, and you still pray to me to do something for you, you just might be a moron

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

4 months

Stop being douches online and in real life

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

5 months

It’s called the second coming, duh. Religion much?

Proud Vermin

@JDorneden

5 months

@Kaylan_TX You are doing Gods work while banging Jesus. That’s called….i don’t know what that’s called, but it’s definitely something. 😂😂

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

5 months

While we’re at it today, try not to look directly at me either

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

5 months

They hate you, I hate you, we all hate you

Kyle Rittenhouse

@ThisIsKyleR

5 months

Wow Memphis is a interesting city 😅

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

4 months

I am stoned and I just walked past the kitchen, verbally asked to myself “do I want PopTarts” to which I replied to myself “oh fuck yeah” and I got a packet of them

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

3 months

Okay I did take the wheel as requested

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

8 months

This is where we actually agree on something

Lucifer

@LucifersTweetz

8 months

The church opposes abortion because it leaves them with fewer kids to molest.

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

2 months

I just want everyone to know that I can still see you liking the porn accounts

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

8 months

This is true. She’s got a wicked temper

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

4 months

Have a great week! It won’t be as good as the one this dog had, but please try your best

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

4 months

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

7 months

Stop. Asking. Me. To. Take. The. Wheel.

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

1 month

Going to file this under who gives a shit

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

5 months

I don’t fuck around, yo

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

2 months

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

7 months

Here I am making a bunny

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

8 months

Well isn’t this rich

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

4 months

🥹🥹🥹

jonathan Slater

@slater_paul

7 months

All it takes. A moms love

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

7 months

Is this what you think of me, for crying out loud?

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

6 months

No lie told

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

5 months

Let’s be honest, it’s just generic silk

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

1 month

Sister Mary Jo with the sick bicep bounce and the barrel over home plate. Better than 50 Cent, Amirite

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

6 months

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

8 months

Fuck that Tim dude for real

John Fugelsang

@JohnFugelsang

9 months

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

8 months

I’m sorry I couldn’t hear what you said over the pipe bombs

Marjorie Taylor Greene 🇺🇸

@mtgreenee

8 months

The real culprits of J6: Nancy Pelosi and the FBI.

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

7 months

Really chopping their hours

Joe G

@EastEndJoe

7 months

Unseen is better in this case.

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

5 months

*you’re, you dumb honky

NotBot

@MikeNotice

5 months

If your still here after the eclipse, might be a good day to check out Jesus.

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

7 months

I am so mad about your dildos right now

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

4 months

Oh good. Clear out of my house.

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

9 months

Marley, listen; stop using my name for literally everything. This morning, you couldn’t find your keys and asked me to help. Then, your dog’s belly was upset (alright fine I answered that one), then your husband can’t perform in the sack, DJT for prez, etc. Knock it off.

Marley Corliss

@marilyncorliss

9 months

@adgirlMM Father God in Jesus name I pray that this man sees the truth and that it sets him free. Holy Spirit show him the truth. Truth is trampled in our streets. Please save America and protect DJT. Bring your David back in the WH. Amen.

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

6 months

Mike Johnson? Haven’t heard that name in years

angry buni 🤬

@theangriestbuni

6 months

Someone get Jesus to tell Mike Johnson to shut the fuck up.

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

4 months

Find your happiness

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

2 months

Thought Juneteenth would be an appropriate time for this

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

29 days

Good morning! I’m having a cup of boom

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

5 months

Hallelujah

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

1 month

Well, he wasn’t coming here, that’s for sure

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

7 months

LOL

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

5 months

@aureliamericana Have at it. My dad hates it when I curse

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

1 month

An Indian woman came out and said a prayer at the convention. It’s going as well as you think it would 😂😂😂

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

7 months

LOL

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

5 months

Tempting amirite

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

7 months

Hey guuuurl

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

2 months

This is the way

Joe G

@EastEndJoe

2 months

This. Is. Fantastic!

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@DereksNtFunny

4 months

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

1 month

Boooyah

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

7 months

Little Timmy almost made it but nooooo

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

2 months

Guess what? Even I think this guy is an a-hole

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

7 months

You’re welcome.

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

8 months

The painter truly captured my inner essence

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

4 months

I am going to buy this

paulpro🥥🌴

@paulprosseda

4 months

@KatiePhang

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

28 days

All gone

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@DereksNtFunny

6 months

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@DereksNtFunny

5 months

@winenewsmaster It’s honestly insane

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@DereksNtFunny

7 months

I second this

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

5 months

Me seeing your browser history

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@DereksNtFunny

8 months

Ooooh man I was so fucked up here with some fire weed. Crazy day

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

1 month

Even I am going with dog on this one

Lilith

@Lilith_Atheist

1 month

I choose Dog. What about you?😇

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

9 months

Oh look someone bedazzled my torture device

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

5 months

There is no debate, Doug. Nobody fucking cares

Doug 🇺🇸

@ProudPatriot247

5 months

There has been a debate over who is the hotter first lady. Jill or Melania?

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

7 months

I made him that shirt

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

7 months

Talk to my nail hole hand

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

2 months

Checks out

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

4 months

Here’s Tom Cruise on the set of Mission Impossible 8. EIGHT. Going to have to say that these missions are more possible than he thinks they are

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

7 months

@BlisterPearl That video is absolutely amazing 😂😂😂

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

3 months

Totally false. I haven’t spoken to this dude since I saw his browser history

DARKDEBBIE

@PenlandDeborah

3 months

@DereksNtFunny Lord, take care of this lying little fuck

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

4 months

One of my disciples

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

5 months

Why not have both?

Official Street Preachers

@ospofcl

5 months

Liberals need to put down their butt plugs and dildos and pick up a Bible #Democrat #liberal #woke #deviant #Bible

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

8 months

Then stop asking me to take the wheel all of the time

🍸⎳ᗩᑎE🍸

@lanechanged

8 months

That's it. We taking Jesus's car keys.

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

5 months

So this happened at my crib

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

2 months

Going to leave this right here

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

5 months

How I look vs how I talk

Miniature Houses

@xodovexo

5 months

How I look vs how I talk:

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

3 months

Poor guy. Not really. Justice grabbed him right in the pussy

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

9 months

You know what, you are all nasty

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

6 months

Not at all, I just like to watch you fall into pits of despair when it’s time

FloridaStateBoy

@BoyForida

6 months

So, JESUS followed me back. Does that mean I’m saved or something? @DereksNtFunny @DerekNeverFails

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

8 months

🎯🎯🎯

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

5 months

Don’t use my name when you come. Especially you, shithead

Senator Ted Cruz

@SenTedCruz

5 months

Hosanna! Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord! #PalmSunday

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

7 months

Stop being such a bitch

Derek the Jedi

@DerekNeverFails

7 months

@Kaylan_TX @alipalliB Ooooh that motherfucker

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

5 months

BREAKING: literally Jesus is supporting President Biden. We all know the anti-Christ and I don’t see eye to eye

Tim Kirk 🟧

@timmmyk

5 months

BREAKING: The Very Handsome Tim Kirk has announced he will be supporting President Biden over Donald tRump.

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

5 months

He is risen.

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

1 month

Says the orange guy that had no problem debating Joe when he wasn’t officially the GOP nominee yet

Mark Hamill

@MarkHamill

1 month

#SpongeDonScaredyPants 😄

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

3 months

To be fair, Taco Bell gives away free diarrhea on Tuesdays

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

6 months

Watch.

MeidasTouch

@MeidasTouch

6 months

Well this says it all

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

3 months

@Leslieoo7 @RpsAgainstTrump This is the issue with Democrats before elections: Dems fall apart, Republicans fall in line.

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

7 months

Don’t worry, Chiefs. This isn’t true, I’ve been on injured reserve for over two thousand years

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JESUS

@DereksNtFunny

8 months

Too soon?

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