Death Star PR @DeathStarPR Twitter profile

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

11 years

All I'm saying is Alderaan COULD have spontaneously combusted. You don't know, you weren't there.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

6 years

BREAKING: Emperor Palpatine claims he misspoke while issuing Order 66: "In a key sentence in my remarks, I said 'Wipe them out. All of them. ... The sentence should've been: 'DON'T wipe them out.'" (SINCERE apologies to all of the Jedi who were subsequently murdered.)

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

Luke, help me take off my mask. I learned so much about lava. One thing’s for certain... don’t let it dominate you. Don’t be afraid of it. Maybe I’m immune, I don’t know.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

2 years

If we stop blowing up planets now, that would be extremely unfair to the planets we've already blown up.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

BEFORE: “The Rebels are being hysterical. We would never ACTUALLY blow up Alderaan.” DURING: “Now isn’t the time to play politics and talk about the destruction of Alderaan.” AFTER: “We need to move on from Alderaan to begin the healing for the good of the galaxy.”

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

Antifa Rebel terrorist leader Luke Skywalker is wanted for the destruction of government property and murder of 1 million very fine Stormtroopers and Imperial Officers within. Luke is considered one-armed and extremely dangerous.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

We must end the finger-pointing about who blew up what planet, or killed all of the Jedi, and move forward. There can only be unity and healing when we all agree to completely forget/ignore all of the evil stuff we've done.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

2 years

Comedy is now legal in the Galactic Empire! If you hear anyone making great jokes about the Emperor, Darth Vader or the Empire, send us their details. The Death Star will be dispatched immediately to fire a comedy verification ray at their planet. We love jokes. Ha. Ha.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

3 months

Me and the boys about to commit some official acts.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

2 years

They posted our exact real-time location, basically assassination coordinates, in (obvious) direct violation of Imperial terms of service.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

1 year

This person has a blue lightsaber because they paid a monthly online subscription or they're a Jedi.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

Darth Vader is doing well after his mild bout of falling in lava. The Emperor has ordered lots of previously untested scientific experiments because he is doing so extremely well.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

7 years

Here at @United Airlines, our friendly new customer service representative is here to help you disembark quickly and efficiently.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

6 years

2 billion people did not die on Alderaan. In fact, it's definitely still there. Trust us. The Rebellion are reporting it exploded to make us look bad. Bad politics. We love Alderaan!

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

2 years

I regret to inform you that “Empire Strikes Back” is actively bad. First, the writing. The entire movie is a complete misdirect and a waste of time. We only find out that Darth Vader is Luke's father at the very end. Second, the politics. It seems to suggest fascism is bad??! WTF

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

2 years

ELON, THIS IS URGENT!! TAKE IT FROM US: Cover any small thermal exhaust ports leading directly to Twitter's reactor system before it's too late.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 months

If the Emperor can be thrown down a reactor shaft JUST for committing many galaxy-wide crimes, then ANY OF US could be next.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

7 years

Going to the Dark Side is considered a great honor for a Jedi. Luke Skywalker is hesitating, therefore invitation is withdrawn!

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

2 years

MORALLY OUTRAGED by the leaking of the Death Star plans!!! (Not the building of the giant planet-destroying death laser -- that's fine.)

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

Can't believe Palpatine would declare himself Emperor, wipe out the Jedi and build a Death Star, despite repeatedly and publicly saying he would do all of those things. Absolutely shocking stuff.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

WINNING BIG in the lightsaber duel against Obi-Wan Kenobi. Calling Naboo for Darth Maul now.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

Palpatine didn't give the order to wipe out all of the Jedi. Okay, he did but he was being metaphorical. Okay, he wasn't but he was just joking. Okay, he wasn't joking but not ALL of the Jedi were wiped out anyway, so it doesn't count. It's time to heal and move on.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

Moderator: "Are you willing, tonight, to condemn Order 66 and to say that the Stormtroopers need to stand down?" Palpatine: "Stormtroopers, stand back and stand by! But I'll tell you what, somebody's got to do something about the Rebels and the left."

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

6 years

To clarify: Emperor Palpatine IS NOT a Sith Lord, has NEVER had any dealings with Sith Lords (NO COLLUSION!) BUT has given himself a full pardon for being a Sith Lord, because he isn't one, but he IS the Senate.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

Extremely pleased to announce that we have completely eradicated Covid-19 on Alderaan.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

It's a girl!

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

7 months

Yes, the Emperor is a Dark Lord of the Sith, builds Death Stars to blow up planets, and killed all of the Jedi, but Yoda is OLD, walks with a CANE and TALKS FUNNY. Who do YOU trust to run the Galaxy?

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

8 years

Girls stole our plans, helped destroy 2 Death Stars and beat up Kylo Ren. Rebels, PLEASE stop fighting like a girl. #internationalwomensday

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

5 years

Very sad to announce that we have been forced to blow up Alderaan for the good of the galactic economy but rest assured they were all happy to sacrifice themselves to keep your credits flowing. #Heroes

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

VERY unfair of the Rebellion to have Luke Skywalker fly an X-wing up our trench and fire photon torpedoes into our ONE small thermal exhaust port. Rest assured we will be appealing this GROSS INJUSTICE in court.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

Arresting Supreme Chancellor Palpatine with just 12 days left in his term will only divide our galaxy more. We must look forward, not backward. We can only begin the healing by pretending all of his massive crimes never happened.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

3 months

On the one hand, the Emperor has committed many demonstrable crimes and stated repeatedly and publicly that he plans to commit more, but on the OTHER hand, Yoda sounds funny.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

Darth Vader will be leaving the great Death Star Medical Center today. Feeling really good! Don’t be afraid of lava. Don’t let it dominate your life. We have developed, under the Palpatine Administration, some really great cyborg technology. Feels better than he did 20 yrs ago!

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

BREAKING: The Emperor and Darth Vader have both tested positive for the Force, which is a Rebel hoax when it happens to other people but very real and dangerous when it happens to them. Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

7 years

Sorry, but if we're going to start measuring the size of people's nuclear buttons, ours is definitely the biggest and most powerful.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

3 months

My face when I become immune for all official acts, including wiping out the Jedi.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

2 months

You have to get out and vote. You won’t have to do it anymore. Four years, it will be fixed, it will be fine. You won’t have to vote anymore. In four years, you won’t have to vote again.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

6 years

We asked the Rebels if they're the ones who keep blowing up our Death Stars. They said no. What else can we do?

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

Our scientists have determined that Alderaan exploded due to underlying geological conditions.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

How it started: How it's going:

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

"We love you. You're very special."

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

7 years

If you ARE going to destroy your own planet, at least build your own Death Star and do it in style. #ParisAgreement

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

Can't believe that Princess Leia called the Galactic Empire "space Nazis" just because we look and talk like space Nazis and regularly do space Nazi things. Incredibly disrespectful. SMH

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

Darth Vader confirming that Luke Skywalker is not cake.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

8 years

Accurate.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

“We are getting ready to win the Battle of Endor. Frankly, we did win this battle. As far as I’m concerned we already have won it.”

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

Be like Darth Vader.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

8 years

It's all fun and games until your elected leader declares himself Emperor, kills all of the Jedi and starts building a Death Star.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

6 years

@Ninja Hey Ninja... that's no meteor.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

Going well, I think! Thank you to all. LOVE!!!

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

Hearing disturbing reports that Obi-Wan, Yoda and Anakin Skywalker, who died YEARS ago, were all somehow at the Battle of Endor??! MASSIVE FRAUD!! The people will not stand for a Rigged and Corrupt battle!

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

Pleased to announce today's list of Imperial Pardons of Very Fine People: Anakin Skywalker Darth Maul Jabba the Hutt Sebulba The Sarlacc Unkar Plutt That weird eye thing that lives in the sewer and tried to drown Luke

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

Rebels — blowing up the Death Star will only lead to more violence. The only way to prevent violence is to pretend there was no violence and let us keep doing as much violence as we want.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

"Luke, we need to move on. We need to prioritize unity and healing. Search your feelings. You know it to be true."

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

As Emperor Palpatine is falling down the reactor shaft, several high-profile members of his executive have resigned in protest, having been deeply troubled by his rhetoric. Powerful, brave stuff. #Heroes

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

Very pleased to announce that Rebellion mortality rates have dropped significantly since we stopped counting how many Rebels we kill.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

2 years

"The Empire's comeback starts right now": Palpatine announces surprise return from the dead and 2024 bid for Emperor.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

8 years

The dishonest media and FAKE NEWS keep reporting that we "destroyed" "Alderaan" but can't prove it ever existed. Sad!

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

For those wondering, this is my son Vader. We share no midichlorians but he is my life. He came from Tatooine (legally, of course) 6 years ago and lives with me on the Death Star. I am so proud of him and raising him has been the best, most rewarding thing I’ve done in my life.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

How serious is Princess Leia about bipartisanship? We’re about to find out. She wants the Empire to stop destroying planets. We're offering to blow more of them up, more often. Will the princess meet with Grand Moff Tarkin to discuss our ideas?

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

There Isn't a 'Fully Operational' 'Second Death Star' orbiting the Forest Moon of Endor. By Empe Ror Palpattinne

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

Can’t believe it’s been TWO WHOLE DAYS since the Rebels exploded the Death Star and they haven’t united the galaxy or solved all of the problems we created yet. Smh

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

Kylo Ren tours what the Rebellion will do to our galaxy.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

2 years

Just remember, if the Rebellion can come for Palpatine, they will come for you. What's next, prosecuting Darth Vader for killing a few Younglings, or Tarkin for blowing up ONE measly planet? Where will this woke madness end???

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

We are deploying our Stormtroopers throughout the galaxy to brutally beat up any protestors who get in the way of the Emperor's message of non-violent peace and understanding.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

8 years

The Death Star did not blow up Alderaan. Alderaan blew itself up. Period. #SpicerFacts

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

Emperor Palpatine is TOTALLY FINE and actually jumped down that reactor shaft on purpose, for fun. Out of an abundance of caution, he is being transferred to a medical facility on Exegol. And then several clone bodies.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

Emperor Palpatine is showing a new tone in remarks made after the explosion of Alderaan, promises to be more serious and Imperial when ordering the destruction of planets in future.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

Darth Maul: Sith Lord Count Dooku: Sith Lord Darth Vader: Sith Lord Emperor Palpatine: Very good, completely non-evil guy who barely knew those other guys, who you can 100% trust and definitely isn’t a Sith Lord.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

8 years

Leia taught us that princesses can rescue themselves, be strong with the Force and lead rebellions. She will be missed.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

6 years

Just because Darth Maul was a Sith and Count Dooku was a Sith and Darth Vader is a Sith doesn't mean Emperor Palpatine is a Sith!! Don't believe the FAKE NEWS MEDIA, the ReBULLion, "evidence" or the logic parts of your brain. SITH HUNT!

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

Brad, this is a great comparison. The Death Star is too big to fail! Nothing could possibly go wrong.

Brad Parscale

@parscale

4 years

For nearly three years we have been building a juggernaut campaign (Death Star). It is firing on all cylinders. Data, Digital, TV, Political, Surrogates, Coalitions, etc. In a few days we start pressing FIRE for the first time.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

6 years

Unfortunately, we have had to cancel pay rises for most Imperial employees for budgetary reasons. Unrelated: our 7 brand new EVEN BIGGER Death Stars are all coming along very nicely.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

8 months

DON'T LECTURE ME, OBI-WAN. I SEE THROUGH THE LIES OF THE JEDI. I DO NOT FEAR THE DARK SIDE AS YOU DO. I HAVE BROUGHT PEACE, FREEDOM, JUSTICE AND SECURITY TO MY NEW EMPIRE!

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

7 years

We promise to only blow up shithole planets from now on.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

6 years

We categorically deny these false allegations that Darth Vader killed numerous Jedi. To prove it, we have a list of Jedi who were not killed by Vader, which we had lying around for totally normal, non-evil reasons.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

8 years

Rebels DID NOT DESTROY THE FIRST DEATH STAR. IT'S TOTALLY FINE. More @CNN FAKE NEWS. ANYTHING TWEETED IN ALL CAPS IS TRUE.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

TO BE VERY CLEAR: Emperor Palpatine was NOT thrown down a reactor shaft by Darth Vader. He simply thought it would be a good time to go down and just take a look at the bottom of the reactor shaft because "maybe sometime you're going to need it."

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

How is it possible that we were winning the Battle of Endor all night, by A LOT, and then -- BOOM! -- out of NOWHERE, suddenly lost??! RIGGED BATTLE!!!

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

We were going to warn everyone on Alderaan that we were going to explode their planet but we didn't want to cause a panic. Because we care. #TheEmpireCares

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

7 years

#StarWars #TheLastJedi #NoSpoilers

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

5 years

We've never heard of Alderaan. We didn't blow up Alderaan. There's no evidence we blew up Alderaan. The REAL story is about Luke Skywalker destroying the Death Star. IF we DID blow up Alderaan, it was legal to do it. We blew up Alderaan and we can do it again whenever we like.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

7 years

FAKE NEWS reporting people are angry that we built a Death Star but the REAL STORY is who leaked the plans to the Bothans?!!

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

7 years

The Emperor has never met a Sith Lord. Okay, he met one but it was no big deal. Fine, he is one, but so is almost everyone in politics.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

2 years

Should we blow up Alderaan? We will abide* by the results of this poll. *As long as the result is the one we wanted.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

Here is Palpatine's public schedule for tomorrow: "The Emperor will depart the Death Star Throne Room at 8:00AM for the bottom of the reactor shaft."

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

I WON THE BATTLE OF ENDOR!

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

6 years

Emperor Palpatine strongly denies executing Order 66. It could have been rogue killers. You don’t know. You weren’t there.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

2 years

BREAKING: in a landmark 6-3 decision the Supreme Court has ruled Jar-Jar Binks is the most beloved Star Wars character of all time.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

He took her hostage and blew up her entire planet to send a message, she wants galactic democracy and thinks planet-destroying lasers are bad. Can’t the right and left just get along?!

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

Everyone knows Chancellor Palpatine is JUST JOKING when he says he "is the Senate" and will declare himself Emperor of the galaxy, kill all of the Jedi and build a giant planet-destroying death laser.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

7 years

Way to go, Todd.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

7 years

Wish these dumb kids would stop marching against Death Stars and joining Rebellions and trying to blow up Death Stars and just go back to being quietly blown up by Death Stars.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

6 years

My culture is not your god damn prom dress.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

If the Rebels win the next election they will kill all of the Jedi, build a Death Star and blow up Alderaan. You won't be safe in Princess Leia's galaxy.

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Death Star PR

@DeathStarPR

4 years

2020