Am I in a gay club by myself?
Yes.
Am I about to dance on the stage?
Yes.
Am I a "fat cunt", as a guy just called me?
Yes.
Do I actually give a shit?
No.
2 lads get on my bus. First one says "oh, I really like your chest!"
Me: "... you like my chest?"
Him: "what?"
Friend: "you said you liked his chest 😂"
Him: "OH MY GOD YOUR... THING... HANGING ROUND YOUR NECK!!"
He meant my lanyard 🤣
So, I've been keeping something secret for absolute months now, but I can announce it!
I'm getting married on the 23rd of September 2025!!!
The date is set! The venue is booked! The save the date cards are going out soon!
Now I have until then to get me a man...
Anyone doing
#YorkPride
this weekend who might allow a chubby ginger to tag along?
I'm fully house trained AND provide hours of entertainment with dumb shit I say...
Anyone going to XXL at
@BirminghamBoltz
on Friday?
My mate is dragging me along, and I've been told I'm holding his wallet and his phone whilst he is "otherwise engaged"
Aka I'll be drinking and dancing in my little bear t shirt, he'll be... busy.
(Photo of the t shirt)
My dad has been really depressed of late, for a number of reasons. He's been trying to book a holiday for a few days with some friends but he can't get a price that suits him
So I've been talking tk his friends, found out the flight and hotel details, and booked it for him.
"Hey daddy"
Me: it's "danny". Close, though!
"Does that annoy daddy?"
Me: bad spelling should annoy everyone.
And I wonder why I get blocked on the dating apps...
Workmate, talking about botox to another workmate: "So Danny, you've had botox, right?"
Me: "no never, why?"
Him: "you're 39, and barely any wrinkles, and you're telling me you haven't???"
Me: "fat don't crack."
When they sat down...
Friend: "so you like his chest?"
Him: "Shut the f*ck up!"
Friend: "why are you red?"
Him: "I will kill you!"
There's me, at the front, still taking the compliment
Why?
I'm not "still" living at home.
I moved back home December last year to help my dad care for my mum, who has severe dementia. It means he gets support when carers aren't here but he can also have a semblance of a life.
Any other judgemental questions you'd like to ask?
Me: "I'm off back to York Sunday for day drinks"
My dad: "with the pretty boy you posted on Facebook with today?"
Me: "... yes"
My dad: "you've done worse."
Me: "we aren't dating!"
My dad: "oh. Well he can do better, anyway."