Dan Brooks @DangerBrooks Twitter profile

Pinned Tweet

Dan Brooks

6 years

Did I mention that I wrote about Norm Macdonald for the @NYTmag ? This was a dream assignment, and I’m happy with how it came out.

Norm Macdonald, Still in Search of the Perfect Joke (Published 2018)

He has won a cult following by playing the wise fool, but his comedic ambitions are much greater than that. If he could only hold down a job.

www.nytimes.com

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Last Seen Profiles

@Azovsouth

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@craig_riedel

Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

1 year

I feel like a dangerously large portion of the world economy is based on jacking off.

Know Your Meme

@knowyourmeme

1 year

More bizarre TikTok Lives are surfacing

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

11 months

A conversation between two idiots

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

1 year

In the audio of this video of a woman shooting a black man, you can hear him confronting her for trying to sell weed to his kid. Plenty of people in the replies point that out, but first you have to scroll past a dozen blue checks cheering for race war. This is policy now.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

3 years

Old Dirty Bastard: Come through with the kung fu! At a theater near you!Ghostface Killah, do the do! Ghostface: Metallurgic alloy make your boy imperceptible,

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

13 days

[yelling into desk phone] I've got Giacomo Bologna on the banana shortage

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

1 year

I would be more sympathetic to Twitter’s ADHD community if they were not constantly talking about how others do not experience consciousness.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

7 years

Out here, we body slam each other instead of shaking hands. I typed this on a beaver.

Laura Ingraham

@IngrahamAngle

7 years

Politicians always need to keep their cool. But what would most Montana men do if "body slammed" for no reason by another man?

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

4 years

“Someone, somewhere is benefiting from this,” said the prince.

The Hill

@thehill

4 years

Prince Harry: "When it comes to institutional and systemic racism, it's there and it stays there because someone somewhere is benefitting from it."

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

1 year

“Someone bought the thing you liked and killed it” is the defining experience of the 21st century.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

3 months

Every time I hear about Brat Summer and how popular Brat is with Zoomers, the person telling me is thirty-five. Just an observation

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

1 year

Owyn fingered his backpack nervously. If Jarrid discovered that he Shined, he would tell the Conclave and they would challenge his residency. That might keep him from going to IU Bloomington in the fall — all because of where he lived!

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

24 days

Look, I don't want to call attention to stuff that sucks, but this may be the worst music I have ever heard.

mgk

@machinegunkelly

24 days

got to rock with a legend wtf 🥹

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

1 year

Every time you guys like this I’m winking and opening my mouth.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

3 years

I wrote about NFTs, which combine the nuanced social awareness of computer programmers with the soulful whimsy of hedge fund managers.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

3 years

I love McDonalds and the pop album for teenagers. I wrote the headline "Bella Hadid is looking like a whole snack." I graduated from Brown 14 years ago.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

1 year

Again, it is amazing how effectively M*sk's blue check system has (A) associated paying for Twitter with being stupid, dishonest, or insane and (B) moved such people to the front of every conversation.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

28 days

@VinceMancini This right here, man. The worst thing about the office is everybody else is trying to waste their time, and they draw you in.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

8 days

This cartoon is very funny and, like, classical in its mechanics.

James Mellor

@JamesDFMellor

8 days

One of my cartoons from the previous Private Eye. One I'm rather fond of, as it happens. I'm happy to also have a couple in the new edition - out today!

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

7 months

"After I published my critique of Marxism, I learned the second thing that every introduction to Marxism tells you."

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

4 years

It's awesome how quickly the student loan forgiveness plan ate shit. It's good that I'm home schooling my kid and working my ass off and watching a quarter million Americans die while my taxes go to United Airlines. This is a good country and I'm just happy to do my part.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

7 months

@BrandyLJensen Hamburglar behavior

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

6 months

I'm sick of the computer. It seemed cool at first.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

9 months

I would like my government to more closely resemble a system Americans use to make decisions together and less closely resemble a show about a bunch of assholes who all have to live in the same house.

Maxwell Alejandro Frost

@MaxwellFrostFL

9 months

We had to pause committee because Marjorie Taylor Greene is being unhinged. While we wait, @JaredEMoskowitz is holding this up:

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

1 year

Also, whenever I run across one of these right-wing personality accounts that does open bigotry, the same mutual always follows them. And I see that.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

2 years

I think "why are kids depressed?" discourse is irretrievably warped by the recent multiyear school closure — plus maybe retrievably warped by the current atmosphere of pessimism — but the answer to "Why am I, an adult, anxious, unfocused and lethargic?" is definitely "the phone."

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

11 months

The first thing we're going to do with AI is bury the sum total of human intellectual and artistic output in garbage.

Ethan Mollick

@emollick

11 months

It isn't just AI generated text that is starting to bleed over into search results. The main image if you do a Google search for Hawaiian singer Israel Kamakawiwoʻole (whose version of Somewhere Over the Rainbow you have probably hear) is a Midjourney creation right from Reddit.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

4 years

This America is not what we say it is.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

3 years

A selection of NFTs owned or promoted by people who did not like my Gawker piece

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

1 year

@BrandyLJensen Me, a fan: Imagine if I went to school with Worf! You, neurotypical: [beige image of you folding a towel]

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

2 years

I wrote about @DanhausenAD for the New York Times Magazine.

How Danhausen Became Professional Wrestling’s Strangest Star (Published 2023)

What’s the best way for a not-particularly-athletic barista-slash-wrestling geek to go pro? Act really weird.

www.nytimes.com

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

11 months

@suchasurfriend I wrote this.

Raising a person in a culture full of types

We probably shouldn’t be telling children that who they are determines what they do.

theoutline.com

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

1 year

Okay, I’m muting this one now. Thanks for having fun with me on the internet and/or vigorously defending the diagnosis you gave yourself after using Reddit.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

2 years

The best genre of personal essay is "my breakup is what men do to women."

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

11 months

Musk: I'm going to be king of a new human civilization on Mars. AI developer: Okay, but what if AI takes over your Mars colony? Me, super into Lou Reed lately: Yeah, and then the AI brings back Lou Reed and he rocks Mars into the sun.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

11 months

Effective altruists, Taylor Swift — a lot of people are realizing that making money is actually one of the most ethical things you can do.

Pop Base

@PopBase

11 months

Taylor Swift talks about the the intersection of patriarchy, money, and art: “What has existed since the dawn of time? A patriarchal society. What fuels a patriarchal society? Money, flow of revenue, the economy. So actually, if we’re going to look at this in the most cynical

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

1 year

This scathing review captures what it is about Gadsby and what it was about the culture that lionized her: the substitution of right opinions for interesting ideas. via @artnews

Hannah Gadsby’s Disastrous ‘Pablo-matic’ Show at the Brooklyn Museum Has Some ‘Pablo-ms’ of Its Own

Hannah Gadsby's 'It's Pablo-matic,' at the Brooklyn Museum, has quite a few art historical issues of its own.

www.artnews.com

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

3 years

I think this is probably the best tweet of all time.

nick

@JucheMane

8 years

Pitchfork: King PU$$Y Eater revolutionizes our perception of bodies and spaces with his hit single "Goop on Ya Grinch" [7.6]

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

6 days

I know we're all supposed to pretend this stuff is fun because kids like it or whatever, but it sucks. Dumber than TV, shittier than commercials, 90 seconds of inert humiliation for a culture swallowed by its economy.

THE CATMAN (2022)

@JUSTcatmeme

7 days

THEY LET THE RIZZLER TAKE OVER THE FACTORY

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

1 year

This technology promises to solve the big problem in literature: the people demand more novels, but no one wants to write them.

james yu

@jamesjyu

1 year

Today's a big day for Sudowrite. We're launching Story Engine, an AI tool for writing long-form stories. Our awesome team worked with hundreds of novelists for months to build the ideal interface for writers and machines to collaborate on a narrative.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

2 years

[dog voice] Yes, hello, I would like to promote a tweet. My name is Dr. Pets.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

3 months

I predict that intellectuals will love Yarvin's broken syntax and misuse of key words, while ordinary voters will respond to his charismatic screen presence.

Kamala HQ

@KamalaHQ

6 months

Top Trump advocate touts Trump’s Project 2025, calls to give Trump total power: We have to end checks and balances. We have to put the president entirely in charge of government

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

3 years

I wrote about climate news and its unique power to make you feel like you should save the future by doing something crazy.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

2 years

This entire website in two tweets

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

1 year

QTs on this one remind us to never, ever say anything on Twitter that implies you have any money at all.

Alex Miller

@alexlmiller

1 year

Spent a year seasoning this guy and a cleaner ran it through the dishwasher

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

6 months

The Odyssey

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

2 years

In "Fuck Tha Police," Eazy-E speculates that the police may be harassing him "because I kick so much butt," before acknowledging that he also shot a bunch of guys with an uzi.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

1 year

Twitter, the newspaper, New York City…

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

1 year

I am extremely proud of my son for choosing to go to inpatient substance abuse treatment today. Everyone makes mistakes. Not everyone does what they need to do to fix them.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

5 years

I wrote about trying to convince my son that what he does determines who he is, when the whole damn internet seems to insist it's the other way around.

Raising a person in a culture full of types

We probably shouldn’t be telling children that who they are determines what they do.

theoutline.com

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

2 years

AI’s inability to explain jokes is the most convincing argument against sentience.

James Miller

@JimDMiller

2 years

Candidate for worst ever ChatGPT answer.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

5 months

Job Interviewer: What motivates you? Me: [picturing Mondego, whose false testimony led to my imprisonment these many years] Helping organizations tell their stories.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

4 years

There should be a word for fear of the effect that news will have on other, dumber people.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

11 months

@iconicities I will not have anyone in my mentions challenging the accuracy of the New York Times, whose fact-checking process is extremely rigorous. When I write for them, I routinely provide recordings to verify quotes and summarized conversations.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

4 years

The boy’s school plans to have in-person classes two days a week and remote learning the other three, so I still have to home school him but he will also be exposed to a few hundred kids on a regular basis.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

10 months

Getting ready for the next election, once again the most important of my lifetime, in which it will again be crucial that I vote for the historically unpopular old man who didn't do the stuff I voted for last time.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

3 years

Probably the best single thing a writer can do for their career is express conservative views. The standards for that kind of writing are lower than for any other.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

2 years

Lot of negativity out there, but the fact is there’s never been a better time to smoke weed and look at your phone.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

5 months

Incredible political instincts

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

11 months

@Chapperton The new hoe I'm working on will someday be able to permanently weed your garden, but I have to warn you: it's so advanced that it will probably exterminate humanity.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

11 months

Lots written on this subject and comparatively little written on the morality of running around clutching your head and telling everyone we're doomed

The New Yorker

@NewYorker

11 months

Two recent books consider the ethics of procreation in the age of man-made climate change.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

1 year

“Oh, you paid someone to clean your house? What was it like on Epstein’s plane?”

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

2 months

I was the only customer in the gyro place, but they said it would take 40 minutes — Doordash orders. In this way society is incrementally worsened by a growing population of people who don't live in it.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

2 years

@willystaley Wow, who expected the ballet community to be self-pitying and neurotic?

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

1 year

Cormac McCarthy published Blood Meridian in 1985, when he was 52. The progression in style from that to All the Pretty Horses (1992) to No Country for Old Men (2005) reflects astonishing devotion to the work.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

4 months

I wrote about how the internet makes everybody talk the same.

Social Media Broke Slang. Now We All Speak Phone.

The irony: Online is where we most need the identity cues that idiosyncratic language used to provide.

www.theatlantic.com

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

1 year

We found him and he is unharmed. Thanks guys.

Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

1 year

Missoula, if you see my son, please DM me.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

3 years

Read another 3000-word essay explaining that liking someone and then not liking them anymore is abuse

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

3 years

For Gawker, I wrote about Norm in the past tense.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

5 months

AI is cool because it doesn't really exist yet, everyone hates it, even people who have dedicated their lives to it think it might destroy society, and various wealthy mutants are just gonna force it to happen.

Vox Media

@voxmedia

5 months

We’re excited to partner with @openai to help inform ChatGPT and to develop innovative products for our audiences and advertising partners.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

1 year

@nkulw

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

3 years

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

1 year

It’s funny that millennials are framed as the first generation to do worse than their parents, as opposed to boomers being framed as the first generation to give their children worse lives.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

3 years

@laurenoyler Funny accents, problems with white ethnic identity, none of the streets are parallel to each other...

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

2 years

I would say the biggest lie foisted on my generation by our forebears is The Who.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

1 year

"Everything happens because of the media" is the idea that unites dumb people across all classes and levels of education.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

2 months

My son is one year sober today, and I am proud of him.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

9 months

The main appeal of this bullshit is that "go woke go broke" is much simpler than the three-sentence explanation of how SI got sold, licensed, and then pared back to just a brand. If that's your story, you limit your audience to people who can think.

Wall Street Silver

@WallStreetSilv

9 months

How it started: Sports Illustrated put a trans dude in a swimsuit on the cover of their 2023 annual swimsuit edition. How it's going: All of the staff at Sports Illustrated was fired today. Go woke, Go broke ... strikes again.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

6 years

The Times let me write about @normmacdonald , whom I consider the funniest man alive.

Norm Macdonald, Still in Search of the Perfect Joke (Published 2018)

He has won a cult following by playing the wise fool, but his comedic ambitions are much greater than that. If he could only hold down a job.

www.nytimes.com

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

11 months

@suchasurfriend That’s okay — it’s supposed to be funny in context, too.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

2 years

I reviewed the new David Sedaris book, which applies the old voice to new subjects with disastrous results.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

3 years

Who is telling people to do this with their hands?

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

2 years

For Gawker, I wrote about how the only responsible choice is to keep voting for an incompetent party that hates you.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

1 year

@BrandyLJensen I just heat up a second pan and put in on top of the sandwich.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

3 months

People who are mad: the belief that youth culture is inherently superior is (A) not relevant to this tweet and (B) a Boomer value.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

3 years

This is true. Territorial warfare among great powers was unheard of in the last century.

Gray Connolly

@GrayConnolly

3 years

When adults ran the world, spats over territories were settled at Congresses of the great powers. Men who achieved much in their lives had no fear of sitting down with other adults to compromise & partition. In this squalid equalitarian age, we will be info spun into catastrophe.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

1 year

All the defenses of capitalism are about a guy who starts his own roofing company, and then the actual capitalism is a hedge fund that owns so many apartments it gets to shut down the newspaper.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

4 years

Twitter is broadly divided into Team Jokes and Team Moral Instruction, and you'd be surprised where most comedians wound up.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

2 years

My profile of @DanhausenAD is this week's Sunday read! Click the link if you long to hear my sweet voice, or if you long to hear my article read by a professional whose voice is much better than mine.

The Sunday Read: ‘How Danhausen Became Professional Wrestling’s Strangest Star’ (Published 2023)

What’s the best way for a not particularly athletic barista-slash-wrestling geek to go pro? Act really weird.

www.nytimes.com

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

2 years

I wrote about a species of New Yorker humor that threatens to overwhelm the whole ecosystem.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

1 year

I disagree with the implication that if there are terrorists inside a hospital, it is okay to blow up the hospital.

assistant inspector

@housetrotter

1 year

pentagon spokeswoman sabrina singh: “hamas is the one putting palestinians, those in gaza, at great risk. they are putting command and control units inside hospitals.”

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

1 year

I also clean my own house but come on, guys.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

3 months

@hunterpauli It's a joke substitute for the humor impaired, kind of like a prosthetic leg.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

2 years

Say what you will about ChatGPT, it nails the voice of someone trying to hit word count.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

2 months

I know it seems unlikely, but if I become the object of national scrutiny, please do not put my picture next to Brad Pitt.

foundational puertorican

@foundrican

2 months

Tim Walz is younger than Brad Pitt

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

4 years

In conclusion, I believe Cornell is the best place to continue my passion for history with a minor in economics.

Pete Buttigieg

@PeteButtigieg

4 years

Black lives depend on whether America can be what we want to believe it is. What we need it to be. What it could be. Systemic racism is so woven into the fabric of this country, facing it will take action, honesty, listening, and deep, deep change. And for many of us, humility.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

6 months

@Bernstein Ate the last of the macadamia nuts because my wife refers to a tax refund as a "tax return."

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

1 year

The kind of democracy where a supermajority wants gun control and it will never happen, the kind of freedom where you can’t go to the doctor unless you work for someone else, the kind of capitalism where you rent everything

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

11 months

From @MikeIsaac et al's excellent story in the Times this weekend. If you, like me, are not sure what to think about all this AI stuff, I highly recommend reading.

Ego, Fear and Money: How the A.I. Fuse Was Lit (Gift Article)

The people who were most afraid of the risks of artificial intelligence decided they should be the ones to build it. Then distrust fueled a spiraling competition.

www.nytimes.com

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

5 years

We got married.

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Dan Brooks

@DangerBrooks

24 days

@NewPlagueNewMe Music is a conversation, in this case two people yelling over each other.

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