David Avallone @DAvallone Twitter profile

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David Avallone

2 days

Tomorrow. Drawing Blood Volume 1, trade paperback. 176 pages. Five comics, including a few in-universe meta comics, a ton of BTS material. Be there. Aloha.

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@RebelliousTreek

David Avallone

@DAvallone

6 years

How to know you're talking to a Nazi: You: I hate Nazis. Them: Define "Nazi." Hope this helps. Non-Nazis are never, ever concerned that your definition of Nazi might include them.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

3 months

A few weeks back, a dude got all road-ragey at me, and when I tried to get around him, he turned his car sideways in front of me so I couldn't avoid a crash. The traffic cameras saved me: cops confirmed he caused it. Just yesterday I finally got his name, and googled him... 1/?

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

3 months

Summing up, I found a ragey right-wing manosphere douchebag who is REALLY BAD at insurance fraud. Keep your eyes open. The stochastic terrorism of the Right has a lot of fans, and inspires all sorts of violence that won't make the news. 4/4

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

4 years

Dear Journalists: it is legal to add seats to the Supreme Court. It's been done before. It will be done again. Violating the Hatch Act is illegal. Suppressing the vote is illegal. Violating campaign finance laws: illegal. "Both sides" is a morally bankrupt disease. Get cured.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

3 months

Found him on Twitter and other socials. What does he post? He retweets Andrew Tate, Jordan Peterson and Candace Owens. Did I mention I have a Biden/Harris bumper sticker on my car? 2/?

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

3 months

It was my wife's first thought when I told her about the crash: "It was probably the bumper sticker." I thought insurance fraud. And lo and behold... I found a court case where he had (unsuccessfully) sued someone else for a crash he caused. But two things can be true. 3/?

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

5 years

My mother was big in the abortion rights movement. In the early 1960s, when abortion was still illegal, she had a miscarriage at around six months. So she's covered in blood, with a dead fetus between her legs, and the doctor told her she couldn't be cleaned up yet. GUESS WHY? 1/

Ben Franklin of Tw¡tter

@ElyZeigler

5 years

There's a difference between "technically the law could be interpreted this way" and "its reasonable to interpret it this way" and "it's been interpreted this way in court." Please breathe a little

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

5 years

@AIsForOrg P.S.: One more thing to make clear: my mother wasn't a big activist before her miscarriage. She was radicalized by the experience. She spent the rest of her life fighting to protect women from what she endured.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

5 years

@AIsForOrg Epilogue: Frances Janet Weinstein Avallone. 1936 -- 2003. She ran the Right to Choose in NJ for about two decades. She was a goddamn hero.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

5 years

So, "please breathe a little," @ElyZeigle ? Shut your mouth, you arrogant little worthless fuckstain. Let the people who are in danger of being criminalized for medical emergencies, who are being treated like brood mares, fight this with every ounce of their strength.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

4 years

If I wrote a character like Tom Cotton, and named him "Tom Cotton," I would feel like a supremely lazy writer. He's a cartoon of a racist Arkansas Republican, with a cartoon name. Rejected alternative names for Tom Cotton: Billy-Bob Plantation Jedidiah Klansman Joe Slavery

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

5 years

A full examination had to be done, and presented to a POLICE OFFICER, to prove my mom hadn't committed Manslaughter. Imagine that. Worst moment of your life, in pain, covered in blood, dead fetus. PLEASE WAIT LIKE THAT WHILE WE TREAT YOU LIKE A CRIMINAL.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

5 years

Want to be worth something? Be just as outraged, as scared, as motivated to FIGHT, as women are. If you're not, SIT THE FUCK DOWN & GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY. While I've got your attention, empty your piggy bank and give the proceeds to @AIsForOrg . Thank you and good evening.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

5 years

Is today a good day to talk about how Michael Moore offered the crew of ROGER AND ME deferred pay, and then when he sold the movie to Warner Brothers for millions, he didn't pay them a dime? Feel like it's always a good day to talk about that.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

5 years

@anamariecox You think this is a story about her rudeness. Huh. Wash your hands.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

3 years

@nbeaudrot I’m fifty five, from Jersey, and have said it my whole life. I think you’re stretching there, sport, and confusing a simple regionalism with something archaic. You know what makes you sound a zillion years old? Assuming everything you’re unfamiliar with is bad and wrong.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

3 years

About the Death Penalty: I am against it in general, but sometimes I'm for it in the specific. We should abolish it. It is immoral, it is not a deterrent, and it is unfairly applied. BUT. If we're going to have it... it was made for Dylann Roof.

Zoe Tillman

@ZoeTillman

3 years

Now: 4th Circuit upheld Dylann Roof's convictions + death sentence: "No cold record or careful parsing of statutes and precedents can capture the full horror of what Roof did. His crimes qualify him for the harshest penalty that a just society can impose"

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

3 years

@kasie Another media figure vomiting up GOP talking points even as the voters of CA prove them to be complete nonsense. And you won’t learn a THING from this ratio, because “Dems in disarray” is a fucking ADDICTION with you people. The GOP is a garbage fire. Report on that.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

3 years

@DgirlLb Oh, little douchebagette. These days, no cashier touches your card. You stick it in a slot, slide it, or even just wave it over the reader. And any cashier would remind you of that if you actually tried this shit. Are you also secretly vaccinated and hoping no one finds out.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

4 years

@KatyjustCANnot This radicalized my mother — in the best way — and she spent the rest of her life fighting for abortion rights. She ran the RIGHT TO CHOOSE in NJ for over two decades. 2/2

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

3 months

@MissesDread Thanks. Yeah, it’s pretty crazy.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

5 months

On @MSNBC , they cut away from Biden's speech before he started talking... to discuss Biden's frustration with the media not covering his accomplishments. Which he will be talking about in his speech. Zero self-awareness, utter failure to do the job.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

3 months

@Jewels_ATX Haven't heard a clear answer on that yet. But his insurance company is holding him liable. And the cops, in their report, call out reckless driving. I hope there are charges.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

5 years

@AIsForOrg

Fran Avallone, 66; Abortion Rights Activist Founded, Directed N.J. Advocacy Group

Fran Avallone, the founder and longtime director of New Jersey Right to Choose who became a nationally recognized spokeswoman for abortion rights, has died.

www.latimes.com

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

1 year

Here’s my favorite part. McCarthy’s big crime according to Gaetz: passing a bill with Democratic votes. Gaetz ouster of McCarthy: passed with 100% Democratic support. I’m sorry but that is fucking funny.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

4 years

@KatyjustCANnot My mother suffered a late miscarriage in the early sixties. She lay on a gurney, covered in blood from the waste down... with a cop standing guard over her treating her like a murder suspect until a doctor showed up and confirmed it wasn’t abortion. 1/2

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

4 years

@y4rth I'm 5'5" and change. I had no idea that was a fate worse than death. Wild.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

6 months

Or -- stay with me for a minute -- a dead-hearted manipulative liar who served an authoritarian monster for years is taking advantage of your natural empathy and punking you, to rehab her public image. And you're falling for it. Occam's Razor slices this deception to shreds.

Lisa Rubin

@lawofruby

6 months

NEW: We just took a brief break because the most composed woman in Trump’s orbit — Hope Hicks — broke down on the stand right as cross examination started. Why would Hicks burst into tears—and why is she struggling to keep it together now? 1/

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

5 years

Of all the impressive things Nancy Pelosi has done in her life, turning Chuck Todd into a real boy today might be the most miraculous.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

2 years

@judeinlondon2 @mistergeezy I'm told this one got deleted, but it is, if anything, funnier...

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

5 years

@MCITLFrAphorism So you're looking for something in a burka? Or would a hijab suffice?

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

4 years

Trump is also stalling on providing DNA in an open rape case against him. Report on that sometime. Try it. You'll feel better about yourself.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

4 years

@dinahaddie Don’t worry. Every American has PTSD. That doesn’t magically go away tomorrow: all that happens tomorrow is daddy who’s been hitting us moves out.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

5 years

@THendersonPAC @MCITLFrAphorism It's a rapist's worldview, from an organization that has enthusiastically employed rapists and covered up their crimes for 2000 years.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

1 year

@megynkelly You’re… celebrating? Dancing on the graves of the dead and insulting the people trying to save lives?

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

4 years

@clay_mcch Pay teachers more. Fixed it for you. Poor people aren’t the enemy. Skinflints undervaluing teachers are.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

5 years

@KateHarding Sorry, Kate. Seemed like a good time and place to tell the story. People forget. They feel safe. And worthless shits tell women to calm down, relax, it won't happen. Enraging.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

2 years

@DaveOrrick “The current climate?” So in a time of threat to democracy, you SPECIFICALLY want people to know you’re a smug, worthless douchebag who can’t be bothered to take a stand against fascism. Great flex.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

5 years

Of all the disgusting and intellectually dishonest stuff I've seen in my life, pretending to not understand why an African American in the present day would be related to slave-owners is the most nauseating. Rape. The answer is rape, you fucking ghouls.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

7 years

I've got a crazy idea for you, that happens to be true: the people who perform in porn are human beings, and if you treat them like trash because of how they earn a living, you're definitely not any kind of liberal. Just in case you didn't know that.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

2 years

When I was five, we had a housekeeper who came in once a week. She asked to leave early one day. When my parents asked why, she said, "My husband is speaking at a Klan rally this evening." They fired her. They explained why to me. I was not too young to hear, or understand.

Rev. Damien Jones aka Clarence Thomas’ play nephew

@NobleNegroe

2 years

Listen, y’all are absolutely crazy if you think it’s okay to teach 6 year olds about racism and it’s concepts. I stand by that. A child’s (of all colors) innocence should be protected up until a certain age. 6 years old ain’t that age. Y’all can miss me with exposing kids to that

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

5 years

P.S. I know he's donated money to charities. So has Cosby. So has Weinstein. A lot of douchebags who don't pay their bills make public displays of "good works". Moore undermined Gore, he undermined Clinton. He's Mr. Both Parties Are The Same. Yet people still take him seriously.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

3 years

@kasie GOP talking points with zero connection to reality. Delete your account. Quit your job. Go on a quest for one of those mythical diners you media idiots are so in love with. The one filled with GOP talking points and no actual humans.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

5 years

@anamariecox “What an upsetting experience! I will tell the story on twitter and be validated by my many friends and fans!” One ratioing later... is self awareness an option?

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

2 years

The problem isn’t Democratic messaging. The problem is the media has zero interest in covering their successes.

Barack Obama

@BarackObama

2 years

This has been a big week for the Biden Administration and Democrats in Congress. First, Congress is on track to pass a bipartisan bill that will lower the cost of everything from cars to consumer goods, and make us less dependent on foreign semiconductors.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

4 years

A reminder: Michael Moore is an idiot and a grifter, who makes more money when we’re under GOP rule. He said Gore and Bush were the same in 2000. That was the time to stop listening to him forever.

KAMALA NATION

@KamalaNation

4 years

Has anyone checked on Michael Moore and his epic fail tonight? #TulsaTrumpRally

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

2 years

@ask_aubry What the hell did I just read? Also… 20-30 minute “ordeal?” Yikes.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

5 years

@nancycollins I'm pretty sure " inhumane, cruel, ignorant, and an attack on all women" is the Tr*mp2020 campaign slogan.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

1 year

@QueenMab87 I feel like every time someone prefaces a statement like this with “I’m a liberal,” they are lying their ass off.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

5 years

@AngryBlackLady @inLaurasWords "Well, at the end of the day...." (click, BANG)

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

2 years

@AndrewYang Andrew Yang is a Republican. I don’t know how much clearer he can make it for you.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

2 years

Without Twitter, I would have no idea that an incredibly decisive battle is being fought in Ukraine. All the cable news channels are focused on Elizabeth 2, who is exactly as dead today as she was yesterday. Hey, @MSNBC . How about some real news?

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

1 year

I'm sorry your pet celebrity turned out to be a rapist, a rape apologist, a scab, a Union-buster, an abuser or simply a shitty human being. It's possible to let the moment pass without defending them. No matter how much you liked their movie or tv show. Try it!

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

1 year

As a Jew with a "Catholic" last name, for my entire life people have comfortably and confidently expressed their antisemitism in front of me, secure in the fact that I was part of their club, on their side. So I am not particularly surprised by all the mask-off stuff this week.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

5 years

@THendersonPAC @MCITLFrAphorism The misogyny and abdication of responsibility for sexual desire to women is baked into his belief system. cf. "Adam and Eve and the Apple."

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

4 years

I'll go even further. None of this shit would be happening if Robert E. Lee had been hanged for treason. In 1865, we started teaching the worst people in America that they could get away with literally anything.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

1 year

Nancy Pelosi never brought a vote if she didn't know she could win. Calling the vote and losing is actually proof you can't whip your caucus, and therefore you aren't qualified for the job.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

5 years

Never forget: on the eve of the election, Michael Moore wanted you to vote for Ralph Nader. I bet he's very concerned about the environment these days. And he thought Gore and Bush weren't much different.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

2 months

Whenever someone says this, I like to remind them that Humphrey Bogart is the star of the THIRD adaptation of THE MALTESE FALCON. It’s one of the laziest film bro opinions, and telegraphs the ignorance of the speaker.

Anon Opin

@anon_opin

2 months

Dear film makers. There has NEVER in the history of humankind been a remake that was better than the original. Sit down and read some indie author books from people who have great, unique ideas and no money to get them recognised.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

4 years

The Unbearable Whiteness of Sally and Bob. You owe it to your friends — the ones Bob clearly believes are subhuman — to walk away from Bob and never look back.

Diana S. Fleischman

@sentientist

4 years

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

2 years

@Noahpinion So you were always a sexist, and when you didn't feel centered, you got mad. Way to tell on yourself, chief.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

5 years

@FiveThirtyEight Support for abortion has been the majority opinion in this country since before you had a website, kids. This is a garbage take. Betray women to "win" and you lose. Happy to join the ratio here.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

4 years

@_SalmanAnwar Jazz, space travel, World Wars, not having royalty, beaches that aren't an uncomfortable pile of rocks. Lots of stuff, really.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

5 years

@EliseStefanik Yesterday, no one outside of Upstate New York knew who you were. Today, people all across the country are donating to @TedraCobb . I used to live in Upstate New York. I'll be thrilled to see the end of your career next election.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

6 years

If someone calls out "white people" or "men" or "white men" or "white women" for a thing... follow these simple steps. 1) Ask yourself, "am I doing that thing?" 2) If the answer is "no, I am not doing that thing" 3) GREAT NEWS! The tweet is not about you! 4) GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

2 years

@peterbakernyt @Davidlaz Calling this a "secret" with a straight face, three decades after Iran-Contra brought it to light, is quite an indictment of the NYT.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

5 years

Of all the weird-ass counter-intuitive takes... "I'm braver than you because I can't face the world without a loaded gun" is the strangest. No, bro. Everyone who can go to Target on a Sat. without a light infantry combat weapon -- literally everyone -- is braver than you are.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

5 years

@DonaldCalloway You're not a comedian or a psychologist, you're an all-around racist guy. If you supported Trump and don't consider yourself a racist, that just makes you stupid as well.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

7 months

For those who just discovered the abortion issue yesterday and believe a lot of lies: at no time have the Democrats EVER had 60 Senators willing to codify abortion rights into law. It has NEVER been possible. It's up to us to MAKE IT POSSIBLE with better Senators.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

5 years

Today, I once again heard that "blocking is cowardly." Other "cowardly" things, apparently: 1) Walking away from a bore at a party 2) Hanging up on telemarketers 3) Refusing to take every flyer handed to you as you walk down the Vegas Strip 4) Changing the channel

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

3 years

Sorry for losing my temper, kids. I will listen to people complain about Democratic messaging with a range of tolerance. But a fucking JOURNALIST? If you're in the media, you don't get to complain about Dem messaging while burying it, and framing every victory as a defeat.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

3 years

@repmorgan "A" black friend. She never liked you. She tolerated you. She's decided it's easier to tolerate you from a distance. For SUPER obvious reasons.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

4 years

@JustinWStapley There's a lot to enjoy today, but the whining of struggle beards who have begun to grasp their own irrelevance is near the top of the list.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

4 years

@SteveKingIA @KamalaHarris The children of rapists are related to rapists, Steve. That's kinda how institutional rape as a tool of oppression works.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

7 months

While I’m complaining, here’s a simple rule. Never ever do a SINGLE FUCKING THING ON STAGE during the In Memoriam segment. No floor show distracting from the dead, dipshits.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

7 years

With everything going on today, LA's biggest Bernie fans are outside Vroman's bookstore, harassing people waiting to see HRC. @SenSanders your biggest fans, once again, are shameful. You lied to them about HRC for a year, and then couldn't take it back. This is YOUR failure.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

2 years

@DaveOrrick You just told every one of your friends who’s not a well-off white dude, “I don’t care about your safety, health, happiness or survival.”

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

6 years

A Russian spy, a real estate scammer and the President of the United States walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Drinking alone, Mr. President?"

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

7 years

@DavidCornDC Not a one. We also love her and have great enthusiasm for her. Weirdly, reporters haven't been talking to us. Never did. All year.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

1 year

"Never Trumpers" are Republicans. They were on board with racism, homophobia, overturning Roe, with tax breaks for billionaires, etc. They just don't like Trump's manners. When they have advice for the Democrats the correct response is to LAUGH IN THEIR FUCKING FACES. Thanks.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

2 years

@oneunderscore__ @cameron_kasky It is, 100 fucking percent, “your bad.” Harmfully bad, in the most typical “Black people are dead and I will do what white people always do” way. “Economic anxiety!” he cried, watching the body swing from the tree limb.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

7 years

You don't invite Jesus Christ to open your Women's Conference. You invite Mary Magdalene. If you don't understand that, I don't want to be the one to explain all the things you've managed to internalize.

Nina Turner

@ninaturner

7 years

Don't let the haters get you down. You could have announced Jesus Christ as a speaker and some folks would have found fault with that too!

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

2 years

@cbouzy I’m sure Piers has a different version of this with his head on Harry’s body.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

2 years

@JoseMolinaTV @ChuckWendig Republican "morality" is ENTIRELY triggered by things happening directly to them, or family members. Show me a Republican who's not a homophobe, and I'll show you a man with an LGBTQ daughter.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

1 year

I can think of a lot of people who owe Fani Willis an apology.

Victor Shi

@Victorshi2020

1 year

BREAKING: Kenneth Chesebro, who was the architect of the “fake electors” scheme, has just pled GUILTY to Fulton County, GA prosecutors & has reached a plea deal. Yesterday, it was Sidney Powell. This is huge. Another win for DA Fani Willis & more bad news for Donald Trump.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

5 years

@yorkdukeyork You're welcome. I think people have gotten complacent, and forgotten what it was like before Roe v. Wade.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

10 months

@PinkRangerLB I’m always a little surprised when I encounter people (not you) who don’t get DUNE is just SPACE LAWRENCE OF ARABIA. The main difference is that when Lawrence realizes he’s betrayed the Arab Revolt… he just goes home. Paul doubles down and makes everything worse.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

2 years

@oneunderscore__ I couldn't afford a root canal for a year. I committed zero mass murders while being in endless agony, and living on Advil and Tylenol. Your brain is broken. I'm ashamed that I was following you. The people of Buffalo have something worse than a toothache. Go fuck yourself.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

5 years

No one who failed to vote against Richard Nixon was "right about Vietnam." "Right about Vietnam" has to include your responsibility as a citizen to vote for someone who will end the war. You didn't even bother to register to vote. You didn't do "everything in your power."

Bernie Sanders

@SenSanders

5 years

I was right about Vietnam. I was right about Iraq. I will do everything in my power to prevent a war with Iran. I apologize to no one.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

4 years

@MichelleHux “Both parties are the same.” “The civil war was about economics, not slavery.”

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

1 year

@peterbakernyt @kaitlancollins The only thing more embarrassing than media normalizing Trump is the wagon-circling you all do when the failures are pointed out to you.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

1 year

@Scotterybarn @susanlbridges I used to be an electrician and I've done the clothespin (C47 to pros) trick. And as an editor, I have received dumb "cut two frames off" notes, clicked ten buttons, shuttled back and forth, left the shot exactly the same and said, "How about now?" Never once caught.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

5 years

@GeraldoRivera So... you ARE actually this dumb?

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

4 years

Don't let anyone play -- or write, or direct, or even draw -- Superman if they don't understand him as well as Christopher Reeve did.

Ricardo C ➡️ NYCC

@RCImperius

4 years

Here’s a video of Christopher Reeve talking about Superman. Dean Cain is a joke.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

2 years

@FletcherFoxYT @qunmpp It's gayer than hating a sandwich.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

1 year

Anyone who suggested Biden would replace Harris was relating their deepest misogynoir dreams, and not someone to take seriously. If you thought for one second Joe Biden would drop Kamala Harris, you don’t understand the first thing about him, her, or the Democratic base.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

5 years

@lacadri34 In the 1860s, white people ran face first into cannons because their rich overlords created an avowedly white supremacist government for them to die for. I call it Confederate Soldier Syndrome, and it's about to kill a hundred thousand people in the South. 1864 all over again.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

2 years

Anyone who says “THE DEMOCRATS CONTROL ALL THREE BRANCHES!!!” fails basic civics and third grade math. A strong Democratic turnout, increasing margins in Senate and House, is our only protection against fascism. Right now. We can do it. So stop suppressing the vote. Thanks.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

1 year

@MarkRPellegrino @ERnurse86 Since this tweet got ratioed to oblivion, I guess you got beat pretty bad at “ideas,” champ. Take the L. You talk like every clown who has no skin in the game, and nothing to lose when fascists are in control.

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David Avallone

@DAvallone

10 years

No one is calling you a rapist, you over-sensitive whiny little punk. They're just asking you to shut up and listen. #YesAllWomen

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