Kate Smurthwaite @Cruella1 Twitter profile

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

8 years

Bored of no-issues news? Help me change the conversation!! Thank you!

creating Videos

www.patreon.com

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

5 years

I should like to humbly apologise for confusing The Brexit Party and UKIP in my earlier Sky News interview. The trouble is Nazis all look the same to me. @SkyNews @brexitparty_uk @UKIP

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

2 years

@AndrewMorganRCT @Fhamiltontimes @metpoliceuk Erm hello it didn’t go on under their noses…THEY DID IT. Women across London know there is no point reporting rape or sexual violence or harassment to the Met. We’ve known for years. The question is WHY DOES NO ONE LISTEN TO WOMEN?

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

5 years

I should like to humbly apologise once again. It appears my autocorrect replaced the work "wankstain" with the word "nazi" in my earlier tweet. I apologise to all those members of racist political movements who don't like being compared to other racist political movements.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

3 years

Great advice.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

10 years

My oh my... #somepeople http://t.co/9Fwfyz7RKr

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

2 years

@cristo_radio @RMTunion Obviously your friends wedding is more important than their ability to feed their families after a long days work.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

5 years

@piersmorgan You’ve massively missed the point here. If you were an academic studying racism your skin colour would be irrelevant. But as an unqualified commentator who doesn’t experience racism yourself, constantly demanding that people of colour answer your questions actually *is* racism.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

2 years

Yes YOU TOO can have abs like these. How do I do it? Laughing myself half to death on discovering that the host of Piers Morgan: UNCENSORED, the man who invites THE TALIBAN on his show has now blocked me. @piersmorgan #piersmorganuncensored #PiersMorganUnwatched #SixPackAbs

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

1 year

You all ABSOLUTELY SURE it’s the @JustStop_Oil protesters who need to change their behaviour? Not @RishiSunak who needs to stop new fossil fuel licences.

Green Cllr Scott

@cllrLisaScott

1 year

Romania this time.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

4 years

@lizzwinstead I’ve campaigned on abortion rights for a long time and all the regretters I have met are either women who were pressured to get an abortion or women who became strongly religious in an anti-choice denomination afterwards. I’ve never met anyone who “just changed their mind”...

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

2 years

@mariacaulfield You know EVEN TWITTER has added a label to explain that this tweet is misleading garbage. Gonna apologise?

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

9 years

Overheard on train "They did all this superstitious 'mindfulness' nonsense. I was glad to get away. Anyhow I'll see you at mass tonight."

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

1 year

Condemning those in the most desperate circumstances to a watery grave on our shores is not just un-British, it’s INHUMAN. Furthermore migrants contribute to our country, they are an asset, culturally and financially. Stop these lies @SuellaBraverman @RishiSunak

Dr Julia Grace Patterson💙

@JujuliaGrace

1 year

Dear @SuellaBraverman You and your politics don’t represent Britain for me. If you are reading this and agree, RT. Let’s send Suella Braverman a message.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

7 years

Sometime you gotta say it.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

3 years

My dear children it is my comedic duty to inform you that GB News has GENDER NEUTRAL TOILETS. #woke

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

2 years

Here's The Mirror's news piece on my lil spat with ol' Piers. @DailyMirror @piersmorgan #piersmorganuncensored #piersmorgancensored

Piers Morgan guest claims she couldn't challenge his 'childish Meghan obsession'

Comedian and activist Kate Smurthwaite has claimed that she was told not to speak about Piers Morgan's "obsession" with Meghan Markle when appearing on his TalkTV show

www.mirror.co.uk

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

6 years

That moment when: Your internet abuser casually implies you're in the same league as Kathy Griffin and Amy Schumer... *picks flowers up off the stage, dabs away tears, stumbles over unscripted acceptance speech* I LOVE YOU ALL! @kathygriffin @amyschumer

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

5 years

Weird day for racists eh? Spend all their time telling people of colour to leave the country, then one does and they’re angry about it.

Meghan Markle 'flees to Canada' 24 hours after she and Harry quit royal family

The Duchess has returned to be with Archie, leaving Harry to sort out their exit from frontline royal life after their bombshell announcement on Wednesday

www.mirror.co.uk

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

4 years

@lizzwinstead ...the pressure was never from feminists or doctors, it was always from family members, employers, or aggressive partners.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

1 year

Incidentally while we all joke about how ridiculous it is to swear allegiance to the king and how there is no damn way we would ever do it, let’s remember that migrants who come to the UK and want citizenship are forced to do it. And we rarely question it.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

1 year

@fesshole I taught my kids with a simplified (no DLR, no Jubilee extension) map, basic Tudor Court rules and no sidings from the age of about seven and they picked it up fine. Now the eldest even plays in a national ladder.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

6 years

@ClaireShrugged I discuss this crap in my show. The solution is to claim kink shaming IS your fetish... #clitstirrer @edfringe 7.30pm daily Banshee Labyrinth from Sat

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

4 years

Every time someone corrects my grammar, it makes me love them a little fewer.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

4 years

@MoJGovUK @hmpps Sorry - you’re building prisons to provide jobs & work for construction companies? Incarceration CANNOT EVER be presented as an opportunity for economic profit. These are people’s lives!

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

2 years

@LeeAndersonMP_ Yeah but if you drink 10p worth of milk for breakfast every day then after about six days you’ll have to throw the other £1 worth of milk away. And also you not having a cup of tea/coffee/juice with it. I mean it’s a really rubbish breakfast. When did you last have this?

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

4 years

@DawnButlerBrent I hosted hustings in Hammersmith years ago when Shaun first stood as an MP. It was beyond embarrassing how little he knew, couldn’t answer basic questions about politics. So sorry about what you’ve put up with from the police and the bigots on here.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

4 years

Yes @Telegraph OF COURSE the most important thing about Kamala Harris is what she f*cking looks like. 🙄

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

2 years

This piece of hot leftie feminist atheist polyamorous comedian ass is 47 today…

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

2 years

@ShappiKhorsandi @Gemma_Champ @British_Airways I had a flight booked with them in the pandemic and they cancelled it, sent me a link to rebook (but I just needed to get home and get to work) and wouldn’t give me a refund, now won’t give me a change either. Haven’t answered a call since. It’s just theft.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

1 year

And here’s the clever bit… #bbcsml #sundaymorninglive @Femi_Sorry

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

6 years

You can keep saying this douchebros, but the thing is I love @kathygriffin and I consider it a huge compliment every single time.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

5 years

Nice little chat on @LBC about Jo Brand and I got to explain why most comedians are left wing!

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

2 years

@theriptorn @AndrewMorganRCT @Fhamiltontimes @metpoliceuk At a 50-50 conviction rate I would report. The current number is less than 1%. So there’s very little point. I would only report if I knew other victims were also coming forward.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

7 years

Oh people... I'm in the SIDEBAR OF SHAME!! @MailOnline

Women hasn't shaved her armpits for FIVE years

The debate surrounding female body hair was reignited on This Morning after comedian Kate Smurthwaite proudly showed off her hairy armpits - much to the disgust of her fellow guest.

www.dailymail.co.uk

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

9 years

This was difficult to write & may attract more abuse, but I'm determined not to be silenced by this shit. http://t.co/7cgVfrPERv

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

1 year

@KEdge23 @PolitlcsUK It is legal to seek asylum. And I want refugees supported, housed, given a hand up.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

4 years

@CCriadoPerez Hahaha we wish we’d studies sex differences now MEN are dying.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

11 months

I think we should pay a universal basic income so people aren’t resorting to shoplifting to feed their families.

Jeremy Vine & Storm Huntley on 5

@JeremyVineOn5

11 months

Should shoplifters be named and shamed? Iceland's boss says staff have been banned from sharing images of shoplifters due to privacy rules, which could help prevent shoplifting. What do you think should be done? @y_alibhai | @cristo_radio | @StormHuntley | #StormHuntley

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

4 years

Hi @metpoliceuk I’m in the co-op supermarket on Stoke Newington Road and EVERYONE is dutifully wearing masks except TWO POLICE OFFICERS wandering about picking up sandwiches. Could you come and arrest them please? They’re putting the rest of us at risk. Thanks.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

4 years

@MarcusRashford Not sure the numbers but looks like lots @thepoodleclub

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

2 years

@jakethornton Four Weddings and a Vaccination

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

1 year

Sunday Morning Live from 10am BBC1. Just talking tactics: @Femi_Sorry is going to hold them still while I explain that poverty is a political choice.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

1 year

Philip Scholfield was supposed to be appearing at my gig today but at the last minute he’s cancelled... apparently he’s done a runner.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

4 years

@pritipatel Oh yes we should find people fleeing persecution and persecute them more? I work with asylum seekers. Warm, caring, brilliant women who despite getting grossly mistreated by the home office have gone on to become nurses and caters and teachers who contribute greatly to society.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

5 years

@stellduffy They're also huge and spherical. So much more like breasts are in porn, in video games and after surgery and nothing like most boobs are in real life.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

2 years

Today in #MyLifeIsWeird I’m sat in the green room for Piers Morgan UNCENSORED (the producer has just told me at least three things NOT to say on air LOL #ActuallyCensored ) when the other guest arrives who will be on for the second half of the show. It’s JOAN COLLINS…

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

3 years

@gemma_brett Women’s rights are like drinks in a nightclub. It’s a huge struggle to get them, if you take your eye off them they’re gone in an instant and if you ever have more that three some asshole will decide it’s an excuse to assault you.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

2 years

@SoozUK What goes on between my granny and the England national football team is none of your business.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

5 years

@piersmorgan Every single World Cup and every single UK election has been superseded by the next one. The Whigs are no longer in power.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

5 years

Actual conversation after my show: Punter: I voted for the Brexit Party, you can't call 17 million people Nazis. Me: How many people do you think voted for Hitler's NSADP in 1933? [Clue: the answer is 17 million.] #bitch @edfringe #makeyourfringeantifascist #makeyourfringe

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

4 years

@BBradley_Mans People who vote to let 1.4 million kids go hungry aren’t REALLY human are they Ben?

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

6 years

***I've had an abortion*** I'm not going to explain why. I looked at a blue line on a plastic stick and went "no, I don't want to do this". And because I was able to access safe legal abortion, I'm still here. Share mine or add your own. #RepealThe8th

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

2 years

Up early for a spot supporting the RMT picket line outside Waverley Station. @RMTunion @RMT_Scotland @markthomasinfo #solidarity

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

2 years

@HDHTAZ @LeeAndersonMP_ No - once you've had milk for a week you HAVE to throw it away. Because it goes off and will make you sick. Honestly I don't know what is wrong with people that they can't see how crass and vile this is.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

3 years

(2/2) ..And I get sexist abuse from ONE OF THE OTHER PRESENTERS ON THE SAME STATION. Mike Graham. Yeah that’s who internet “trolls” are. They present national radio shows. This is why we can’t solve the problem by “just blocking them” or “ignoring them until they go away”.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

6 years

Here's the full 7 mins of me (who doesn't shave her armpits) discussing why that's a problem with @PiersMorgan (who doesn't shave his either)...perhaps you can spot the double standard! Spoiler alert: We end up in an awkward discussion about group sex.

Should Women Participate in Januhairy? | Good Morning Britain

An Exeter university student is encouraging women to grow out their body hair for charity for 'Januhairy'. Kate Smurthwaite and Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace debat...

www.youtube.com

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

4 years

Headline-writing is so difficult, getting all the info into the shortest phrase. So let me help...”forced to have sex with” can be shortened to “raped by”. #YoureWelcome

The Guardian

@guardian

4 years

Underage girl forced to have sex with Prince Andrew, US court document claims

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

2 years

Rail workers are on strike, not drivers. How much are you paid to be this badly informed?

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

5 years

So I made a video discussing recent scientific research on the impact pornography is having on men. As you can see I have in no way touched a nerve.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

2 years

@RishiSunak But you’ve been a willing part of a government that has broken promise after promise and wasted billions and allowed thousands to needlessly die. Going to apologise?

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

1 year

Too busy/exhausted to watch Sunday Morning Live’s extended debate on decriminalising abortion? Here’s a quick summary… #abortion #prochoice

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

1 year

@thomashawk @SethAbramson No. The info on the blue check says it’s been paid for by the account. You cannot claim a person has paid for your service when they have not. False advertising.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

7 months

Tell me you hate foreigners & students without…oh no…just say it then. Are you sure academic spouses don’t actually contribute loads to the UK? What impact do you see for UK academia & research when the world’s brightest can’t come here without losing their kids? #wasteman

Rishi Sunak

@RishiSunak

7 months

From today, the majority of foreign university students cannot bring family members to the UK. In 2024, we’re already delivering for the British people.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

2 years

This is AMAZING. Man whose right wing newspapers consistently undermined the NHS and supported the Tories as they asset-stripped the health service is angry that the health service is now broken. How can this happen? GET A MIRROR!

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

7 years

Been promoted!!

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

1 month

@fesshole Kids legally can’t leave school and get a job at 16 any more. They have to stay in training, education or apprenticeships til 18. But well done for being mean to your own child.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

1 year

@DanielaNadj He probably thinks PhD-in-law is when your spouse gets one.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

4 years

Am I the only one who thinks inciting an attempted coup should bear heavier punishment than not being allowed to send any more tweets?

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

10 years

The Big Wang Theory #ReplaceALetterRuinATvShow

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

5 years

@yoooureds @piersmorgan Well I have a maths degree from Oxford. And apparently a much better understanding of how racism works that you or @piersmorgan ... So I’m doing pretty well thanks.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

2 years

Yeah can you imagine storming off a racist fascist bullcr*p news channel? How embarrassing. ROFL.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

3 years

It’s JUST NOT. It’s crippled by years of underfunding. I know several people who have contacted asking for support. They are told unless they’re actively suicidal there is no support for six months to a year. And if they are they’re given the number of the Samaritans. A charity.

UK Prime Minister

@10DowningStreet

3 years

If you need mental health support, the NHS is still here for you. ➡️

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

4 years

@BBradley_Mans You didn’t say the thing in the screenshot of you saying it? Also if you could let me know why it’s ok to allow children of parents who cannot read to go hungry? Cos I can’t help thinking it’s quite understandable those parents find it harder to make a living and we should help.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

6 years

New favourite picture. #picoftheday

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

2 years

…brought me a bottle of wine to take home to make it up to me. Bottoms up eh?!!

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

1 year

So Downing Street staffers needed thanks and motivation to do their basic job trying AND FAILING to save the nation from the pandemic. Nurses and junior docs though apparently can be given a real terms pay cut. Lucky they’re motivated on their own eh? This man is a disgrace.

Lewis Goodall

@lewis_goodall

1 year

Johnson: :"We should have found a way to make it clearer that these were work events, with the specific purpose of thanking and motivating colleagues for their tireless efforts in fighting Covid-19. Hindsight is a wonderful thing."

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

10 years

Man tries to talk to me on street. "Please leave me alone", (shouts) "I was only being fucking friendly you cow". @EverydaySexism

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

5 years

So my duvet cover fell off the bannister while it was drying and now my housemates are all sleeping with the lights on...

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

4 years

@hannahrosewoods Maybe we should write to British American Tobacco and thank them for their hard work providing test cases to help us find treatments for lung cancer?

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

8 years

Feminists don't have a sense of humour? Off to an 80s movie-themed fancy dress do! #feminism @GlennCloseNews

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

4 years

You are seriously telling me it is safe for 28 football players, plus referees & physios & managers & the rest to travel across the country in a bus & play contact sport but it’s not safe for me to walk over and hug my boyfriend? This is ridiculous & CRUEL.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

4 years

@JuliaHB1 And if you have a compromised immune system or live with someone who does? Or you’re the only person who can look after elderly vulnerable relatives? I mean come on you can’t blame people for not wanting to DIE OR KILL THEIR FAMILY, can you?

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

5 years

@piersmorgan You're unaware of the role climate change has in displacing people, diminishing resources and prompting war? And if anyone frightens children...

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

3 years

One thing that strikes me about this and much of the abuse I get is the sudden “nice rack by the way” in the middle. Men are going to have to stop pretending that such objectifying comments are compliments when they come so routinely in the middle of outbursts like these.

Marianna Spring

@mariannaspring

3 years

After reporting first-hand on online conspiracy theories about covid promoted at protests, I have been bombarded with horrific abuse and threats. I am very happy the BBC has a specialist disinformation reporter investigating their impact. No-one should receive this vitriol.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

2 years

@piersmorgan Yes I was. Great have me on again and I’ll say all the things I was told not to say.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

2 years

Ready to go on Good Morning Britain and stir some of the usual. Tune in.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

2 years

Yeah when he says “your problems” he’s sort of admitting that he doesn’t have these problems. It’s also massively disingenuous because he’s acting like these problems just exist rather than admitting him and his party and his rich mates in fact CAUSED them.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

4 years

I said this weeks ago. Swimming pools are literally ponds of disinfectant. Lane swimming/walking is standard & easily modified. Pools are vital for those who can’t exercise at home or in the park due to disability/injury/obesity...i.e. those who most need to stay active!!

Lizzie Simmonds

@LizzieSimmonds1

4 years

Going out on a limb here but I reckon it would be easier to police social distancing for Aqua Zumba at the local leisure centre than it will be to keep Dave away from his mates when he’s seven pints deep and he’s just spent his EasyJet refund on a round of jäger bombs.. 🤷‍♀️

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

4 years

@Keir_Starmer Why do you insist on this conservative rhetoric of “families”? How about “people”. Don’t you think single people are suffering? People in overcrowded shared houses? Please PLEASE stop buying into this right wing lie that “families” are more important than the people in them...

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

4 years

Man who ignored science, got Covid, gave it to his pregnant partner, hands out nonsensical rules even he cannot remember without offering support to those who literally can’t afford to adhere to the rules now reckons the problem is us being “complacent”?!

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

10 years

You can't say "feminists have poor dress sense" and then call us "feminazis". One or the other people, the nazis always looked sharp.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

4 years

@ClaireShrugged In terms of symptoms I have yet to find out. But in evolutionary terms menopause is the biggest compliment nature can pay you. It says your contribution to humanity is MORE than your reproductive function. We are actively turning that off to save your energy to be a wise elder.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

2 years

@OwenJones84 I hate to state the obvious Owen but if you put the word “porn” into Google I don’t think you’ll struggle to spot the misogyny.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

2 years

Dear @RishiSunak your daughter (in pink) is taking mixture out of the bowl with a metal implement while you operate an electric bladed blender in the same bowl. This is not safe. Never put sharp metal cutlery near to the moving blades of a blender SOMEONE WILL LOSE AN EYE!!

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

3 years

(1/2) AMAZING. People are always telling me that sexist internet abusers are sad teenagers in their mum’s basements, etc, etc. I go on Cristo’s Talk Radio show to defend Stella Creasy bringing her child to work (and also the NHS mostly which I think is the bigger issue)…

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

3 years

So 3% of the UK population is black and 20% of the people you lay into are black? I think that’s the answer you’re looking for.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

1 year

Also worth noting that this woman has three children. They will now be without their mother for an extended period. So if anyone’s argument is “think about the children”…

stellacreasy

@stellacreasy

1 year

The average prison sentence for a violent offence in England is 18 months. A woman who had an abortion without following correct procedures just got 28 months under an 1868 act- we need urgent reform to make safe access for all women in England, Scotland and wales a human right.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

5 years

@JessicaValenti Turns out it was the lives of the WOMEN that were getting ruined. As usual.

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Kate Smurthwaite

@Cruella1

6 years

After my interview this morning the presenter told me that I look like a well-known Slovakian TV anchor, a colleague of his. This is Adela Vinczeová. Can anyone see a vague resemblance? ...fuuuuuuck! There are zero members of my own family who look this much like me.

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