Corporate Natalie @CorpNatalie Twitter profile

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

If anyone is thinking about emailing me, please don’t

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

2 years

Why would I rather watch an entire movie silently on the screen of the person next to me on a plane than turn my own movie on

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

Why does it feel illegal to throw away a new iPhone box even though I have absolutely zero use for it

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

Turning on my phone after a long flight to zero texts feels like a slap in the face

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

2 years

Sorry I’m late I was parallel parking for 32 minutes

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

When your online dating career starts and ends on the same day >

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

2 years

Thank god I bought Wi-Fi to text on my 7 hour flight to receive 0 texts the entire flight

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

My toxic trait is having my laptop open while scrolling through TikTok on my phone, pretending to read my kindle, and simultaneously watching TV

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

There are 2 types of coworkers: the ones with “Big Ideas” and the ones who actually get work done

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

How do I lose 20lbs without working out or limiting myself in any way?

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

2 years

Why is waiting to turn left in the middle of an intersection so embarrassing

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

2 years

How cool would it be to write a to-do list and actually complete the tasks

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

2 years

Corporate America has made me so numb that I treat the word “urgent” as a light suggestion

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

If I wake up for a 6:00am meeting I’m allowed to take the rest of the day off, right?

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

2 years

It’s January 2nd…confused why I haven’t completely changed physically and emotionally?

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

2 years

He’s a 3 but you’re roughly the same age and both at an airport👀

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

People who take the Monday after a 2-week break off and slyly re-enter on Tuesday are evil geniuses

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

I love fluttering my eyes open to the sweet sound of my mom yelling “ALL HANDS ON DECK - we need this tree OUT” at 7am on December 26th.

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

*unmutes to allow everyone to know I’m laughing at said joke*

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

How do I go from a lazy waste of space to a girl who wakes up at 4:30AM, drinks iced matcha with a metal straw, and works out for 3 hours before work starts

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

2 years

I take great offense to Friday meetings

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

I would literally rather post a cringey TikTok to 1 million viewers than make eye contact with a male I’m crossing paths with

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

Complete a task? Never heard of her

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

2 years

Imagine taking a picture out the window of an airplane and thinking people would want to see it

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

2 years

Last night I watched 45 movie trailers, wasn’t particular sold on any one movie, and went to bed

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

How do I unsubscribe from viewing ‘2021 Recap’ videos?

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

I made a joke that didn’t land to the person sitting next to me on my flight then sat in full body paralysis for four hours trying to think of a way to recover

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

2 years

People who shamelessly Shazam in social settings are on another level

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

Visual representation of how my brain works:

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

For lent I’m giving up trying

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

2 years

I’ve always wanted to ride a mechanical bull to see how difficult it is but just like alone with no one watching

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

I take great offense to being invited to a virtual happy hour

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

I fell in love with 6 different men on my flight today from mere eye contact

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

I didn’t consent to the amount of Kanye information I’m consuming right now

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

It’s all fun and games until my boss asks me what I’ve accomplished this week

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

Why is taking off your cover up at a hotel pool the most embarrassing thing ever for no reason

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

“Yea my calendar is up to date”

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

Let me just shaaaareeeeee myyyyyy screeeeeeen here

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

2 years

Very few things are more humbling than seeing myself on my Ring camera

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

Tomorrow is a holiday right?

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

To the guy at the corner store across the street from my apartment: thank you for never judging me when I buy a giant blue Gatorade every Saturday and Sunday morning💙

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

2 years

Gearing up for a full week of “let’s punt this to after Thanksgiving”

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

Hey Siri how many calories are in 10 vodka cranberries?

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

New Years Resolution: find something to do when I’m bored besides eating every snack in my kitchen

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

I just realized I haven’t taken a deep breath in 2.5 years

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

Okay it’s officially January 1st 2022 - why am I not a completely different person?

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

I don’t trust people who put nuts in desserts

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

‘Work from Home’ except I’m in bed with the lights off and my laptop closed

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

I’m not a bad texter I just don’t have the bandwidth to text more than 3 people at a time

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

2 years

I almost just missed my connecting flight because I was too embarrassed to raise my hand and deplane first

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

People who still have their OOO messages on despite being back - are you incredibly dumb or smarter than us all?

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

I spent 3 hours writing in my new planner today - feeling like it might be hindering my overall productivity🤔

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

Someone actually just had the audacity to ask me why my camera was off

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

There is no worse punishment than sitting at the end of a long rectangular table

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

Me: Why don’t I have a boyfriend? My Hinge:

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

Boss: what did you accomplish this week? Me:👁👄👁

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

2 years

My personality? Buying a book at the airport that I’ll never read

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

I ate an olive on a date and nervously swallowed the pit so I wouldn’t have to spit it out

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

I want to be the type of girl who can make a vision board but I’m physically incapable of thinking more than 6 minutes ahead

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

1 year

I wish I could not care about my job like you guys :/

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

Your message absolutely did not find me well❤️

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

Hoping the posture corrector I just Amazon Primed turns me into a completely different person

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

I accidentally “Put A Pin In” 1,345 tasks this week

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

2 years

I love pretending to be interested in getting lunch with people I’ll never get lunch with

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

2 years

Does anyone actually enjoy skiing? Be honest

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

2 years

Is it illegal to put your goal weight on your driver’s license? Asking for a friend

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

Has anyone used SOHCAHTOA recently?

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

My nail lady put a nonconsensual heart on my big toe “for Valentine’s Day” - did I say anything? Of course not.

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

2 years

I thought I was the only one completely changing myself in 2023…what the hell are these people doing in the gym?

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

I love sneezing in my mask at the beginning of a long flight

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

Dry January going really well :)

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

Why go to bed early the night before going back to work when you can stay up til 3am watching TikToks?

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

Something about having an 8am zoom meeting tomorrow just isn’t sitting right with me

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

Why is my entire Instagram explore page engagement rings when I can’t even get a text back? Pls fix

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

Did my letter to Santa requesting a 6’5 28-year old get lost in the mail? Not seeing him under my tree🤔

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

2 years

Hey guys I’ll catch up with you later I need to squeeze all 132 of these avocados to make sure I’m selecting the perfect one

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

Self-checkout is a game. There are winners and there are losers

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

My mom wrote a tag “From Santa” directly in front of me this morning. The gig is up.

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

Today I made a list of things I won’t do until Jan 3rd. Feeling #proud

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

2 years

I refuse to not walk into every airport bookstore and purchase a book that I read 4 pages of

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

Today I tested my limits and bravely accomplished eating while laying down

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

Nothing says holiday cheer like sharing a Jack and Jill bathroom with your grown adult brother❤️

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

To everyone who I text “wait who is this?” because I’m too lazy to save a single number in my phone, I’m sorry

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

My car navigation lady only speaks up with directions when I begin to truly enjoy the song I’m playing

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

2 years

I have absolutely no idea what it’s like to not be late to everything

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

2 years

All right I’ve watched last night’s instagram story 450 times - now what?

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

I’m so irrational I legitimately considered getting bangs for a themed party I’m going to tonight because it “would make the outfit look slightly cooler”

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie

3 years

Started playing a new game called “How Many People Will I Fall in Love With At Trader Joe’s Today?”

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Corporate Natalie

@CorpNatalie