Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈 @CharlRxbinson Twitter profile | Pikagi

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Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

@CharlRxbinson

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Mental Health Advocate | Child Sexual Abuse Survivor and Advocate | Diagnosed: C-PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, EUPD and Eating Disorder | Trigger Warning | 🏳️‍🌈

Llanelli, Wales

https://t.co/P3XdXD0yUA

Joined October 2023

Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

Trigger warning She deserved so much more than the world threw at her. Her abuse started at 4 and ended at 15. She was raped, beaten, burnt, locked in a cupboard for long periods of time, she was trafficked and used for porn videos and her baby was killed. I deserved better

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

I’m angry, I’m angry I’m going to spend my life recovering from things I should have been protected from. I’m angry I didn’t get to be a child. I should have been kept safe.

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

Spending your adult life healing your childhood trauma is draining

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

I’m scared I’m going to feel this way for the rest of my life. My abusers probably don’t even give me or what they did to me a second thought, but what they did to me consumes me. I’m so tired.

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

9 months

For many, sleep is peace and comfort. For trauma survivors sleep is often nightmarish replays of things they’ve experienced. How does one rest when resting is torment?

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

I’m not sure how long I can keep holding on to this trauma, it’s too heavy and I’m too tired

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

Feeling sorry for this little girl today, who was repeatedly abused for years previously and years after. I’m learning to not blame this little girl, but blame the perpetrators. It’s a long journey but I can’t wait for the day I can say wholeheartedly that it’s not my fault.

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

I want so desperately to do something good with my trauma, but I feel like no good can come from it, I’m just going to be stuck with this horror that I can’t heal. I want so desperately to be better, to help others, I just don’t know how to even help myself

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

9 months

The mental scars left behind from abuse are just as important as the physical ones

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

My abuser should pay my therapy bills

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

I am more than what happened to me. I am not just a survivor of abuse, I am also: - a student - a girlfriend - an aunty - a big cousin - a granddaughter - a daughter - an advocate I am more than what happened to me

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

The thought of graduating next October is wild to me because I never thought I’d survive my childhood, and although it still continues to haunt me, I continue to fight in spite of it all.

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

7 months

I am sick to the back teeth of feeling like my abuse was my fault. I am not to blame. It was not my fault. I was a child.

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

Raw, uncut carrots are a trigger for me from my child abuse. I can’t touch them or look at them without starting to panic or experience flashbacks. Today I pushed myself to try and peel some to help my partner who’s prepping dinner. I managed to peel 2 before having a flashback

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

9 months

Remembering my trial where they made me look at photos of my abusers flat after not seeing it for 5 years, and I had a panic attack on the stand and had to be dismissed until I could get my emotions under control. I was completely blindsided and it’s was so traumatic 🥲

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

11 months

Trigger warning ⚠️ You can find my story here, there is much more that unfortunately he couldn’t be convicted of due to lack of evidence, but this is the basics. I hope that in sharing my story, I will be able to help others 🥺

Pensioner raped a child and then aborted her unborn baby

Raymond Hodges, 71, used a coat hanger to perform an abortion on the girl when she fell pregnant aged 12

www.walesonline.co.uk

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

11 months

This is @notmyshameuk , the things that happened to me are not my guilt and shame to hold. They are purely the shame of those who inflicted these crimes on me. I am strong, I deserve love, I am not what happened to me.

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

7 months

All I want is to get just a little break from the flashbacks, nightmares and intrusive thoughts 🥺

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

Remembering sex ed in year 7, where I said “I’ve had sex” in front of my science teacher, because I didn’t know it was wrong, that what was happening to me was wrong. I was told “stop being so childish” and it was never followed up on. That red flag shouldn’t have been ignored.

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

Someone was able to buy themselves a 2 million bottle of whiskey yesterday, and there’s families in the UK literally starving themselves so they can feed their kids

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

9 months

While I’m glad that one of my abusers has a 25 year sentence, and won’t ever hurt anybody again, I’ll never forgive my ‘mother’ for calling my bluff and forcing me to go through the whole process when I wasn’t ready.

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

9 months

How do you guys deal with triggers? I got triggered earlier this evening and I cannot shake it

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

I’ve done a lot of walking the last few days, the crispness of autumn has really helped with my mood

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

9 months

The holidays can be super hard for those with dysfunctional families - don’t forget to check in with your friends and make sure they’re doing okay

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

Fearing every person you encounter because life has taught you that some people can’t be trusted is freaking exhausting 😅

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

8 months

Every now and then something special happens that makes me so thankful I failed to take my own life

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

9 months

Singing today raising money for Blood Cancer UK 🧡

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

I genuinely question regularly if I have DID

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

@ejtayloruk Grateful to have found you and to be on this journey with you 🧡 thank you for setting up such a vital and safe space for us survivors 🧡

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

9 months

I have to remember that recovery and grief are not linear. It’s okay to think you’ve overcome something for it to come back up later on.

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

The difference escaping abuse can do - still not fully healed but I’m a fair way into my journey 🫶

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

I love how my cat senses when I’m down and gets extra cuddly 🥺

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

He’s all tucked in and smiling 🥺 and with that I’m signing off for the night 🧡

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

Braided my hair ready for Thorpe Park tomorrow 🥰

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

9 months

I can’t believe little old me did THIS.

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

@myworldmywords I had no hope, but watching other survivors continue to do things I thought I couldn’t inspired me. Final year until graduation and I’m so proud as I never thought I’d get here 🥺 thank you for adding to my inspiration 🧡

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

One of the hardest things I will ever have to heal from is the fact my own mother didn’t believe me and didn’t stand by my side. I think it’s something I will never fully heal from, but I’ll never forgive her, either.

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

9 months

I wonder why I’m so cruel to myself but when I sit and think about the words I say to myself, they’re not mine, they’re my abusers. “Whore”, “Stupid”, “Ugly”, etc etc etc are not what I should be saying to myself. I don’t claim them anymore. He can have them back.

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

9 months

I just watched another video of my performance Friday night, and this one captures me at the end looking at my musical director and saying “I did it” and shaking my head in disbelief. I’m so proud of the little things I have achieved this year 🧡

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

8 months

I have never loved a photo of me so much in my whole life 🥹

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

@JonjayNeedham1 Honestly school was my safe haven, creating a safe environment that offered stability. Teachers should learn the signs though of CSA and ensure that those signs are followed up. Things may be different now but a lot of red flags were missed when I was growing up

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

9 months

Day three of trying to make a doctors appointment - wish me luck

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

9 months

I’m actually having the time of my life performing in the local amdrams pantomime this year. I never thought I’d get back into musical theatre, thinking I was too old, but you’re never too old to do something you love 🫶

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

Came home from a shitty day at college to Ver making my favourite food for me, pie 🥺😍 how did I get so lucky 😭

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

9 months

2,500 words later and I’ve completed my second essay of the academic year. I will graduate next October, I’m determined.

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

9 months

Why do I feel so much guilt for something that wasn’t my fault?

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

It sucks knowing what sort of therapy would be most beneficial for my symptoms but not being in the position to finance it.

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

I feel immense pride that I managed to ease some of the load from my partner and touch a carrot without having an instant meltdown.

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

Dealing with triggers when you’re already exhausted is impossible

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

9 months

Feeling so dirty I scrubbed my body until it was raw and now I’m upset that I let those thoughts win.

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

@ejtayloruk When I finally did report my abuse to the police the fallout was immeasurable. My mother protected my abuser and in doing so meant I lost the whole maternal side of the family. It was absolutely heartbreaking

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

I’m extremely triggered by the news article about men going around right now so I’m taking some space to myself. I hope you’re all looking after yourselves 🧡

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

Been told today that my CBT will start a year from my previous appointment, so in August of 2024 🤠 I don’t want to live like this for that long 🥹 and it won’t even cure me anyway because I’ll always be stuck with this trauma 🥹 im not feeling good at all today

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

9 months

It’s really hard when everyday items are triggers of abuse. Boiling the kettle can be such a tiresome task and I’m already exhausted 🥲

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

What happens when you need a good cry but can’t seem to connect to your emotions? You watch a soppy romance movie that makes you sob so at least you’re crying about something

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

9 months

Trying to wrap my head around how common it is for women to believe their spouses over their own children. It’s honestly mind blowing.

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

@Laurenharrhy85 Thank you🥺🧡

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

Update on my loop earplugs, they have been a lifesaver for me today. Helped reduce sensory overload massively and allowed me to do things I didn’t think I’d be able to. I definitely recommend them 🥺

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

You can never hurt me again

@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

11 months

Trigger warning ⚠️ You can find my story here, there is much more that unfortunately he couldn’t be convicted of due to lack of evidence, but this is the basics. I hope that in sharing my story, I will be able to help others 🥺

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

I narrowly avoided quite a big incident this evening, involving a blender and hot soup - you can guess what happened there. The kitchen, and my face, arms and neck were splattered with boiling soup, and my first thought was “oh, I have to clean that off the walls”

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

@FreckledLiberty @PicturesFoIder 2023 and using that slur ain’t it

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

So young you were to be fighting battles so big, but you kept fighting, and thriving and you survive against all odds. You are so strong. You are so brave. You are so powerful. I am proud of you, and I love you. 🧡

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

7 months

I’m trying to accept that the constant flashbacks are just my brain trying to process and heal, and that eventually they will be why I’m well. But right now, they’re the reason I’m incredibly unwell.

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

7 months

When I sleep, I’m tortured. When I’m awake, I’m haunted. Haunted by the ghost of me, the soul of a child that died, but my body didn’t. Like I was supposed to die and those ghosts are following me, waiting to bring me back to where I belong.

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

An open letter to me. Dear young me, I guess firstly I’d like to say I’m sorry. I’m sorry you had nobody to protect you from the monsters that hurt you. I’m sorry you were failed systematically by so many people. I’m sorry your school ignored obvious red flags, and that when

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

7 months

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

11 months

Today is a huge trigger day for me, regardless of that I fought for myself and got my meds sorted, whereas before I would have left it and gone without. Today is a huge milestone, even if I can’t see it yet.

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

I hate that I rely on medication to sleep, but the medication makes me unable to wake myself from nightmares. So I sleep, but it’s torture inside my mind. I never feel rested 😅

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

@SurvivorsMvmt Thank you🥺 When I’m well enough I hope to volunteer to help woman and girls who have suffered abuse with the organisation that saved my life ( @Shadows_Support )

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

9 months

Surviving in spite of you

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

Having a really hard time focussing today, my brains drifting off to trauma memories, it’s making my uni lectures really hard to listen to 😅

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

@RowanzzHull I will write to my local MP this afternoon for you, your daughter, for me, and for all victims and families of victims of SA.🥺

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

7 months

Why didn’t my mother love me enough to choose me? What is so inherently wrong with me that not even my own mother wanted to protect me?

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

9 months

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

9 months

@DrEvans_Health She didn’t believe me, and thought I would admit that I was lying when she went to the police. On the contrary, I continued to tell the truth, and secured a conviction against one of my abusers 🥺

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

@JeffordAndrea Thank you, it means so much🥺🧡

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

I go through journals like there’s no tomorrow 🤦‍♀️ I feel like Hamilton, writing like I’m running out of time 👀

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

@DID_we_write Your littles should not be attacked in a space that should feel safe. I’m sorry you guys experienced that, it’s not fair 🥺

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

9 months

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

9 months

@Troy_Righter It’s such a difficult balance. We need sleep to be able to cope with the day, but how do we cope with the nights? Everything feels so draining 🥲

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

What’s everyone’s favourite/most effective grounding methods? These flashbacks are kicking my backside and I’m struggling to stay grounded in the here and now. #ptsd #cptsd #flashbacks

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

7 months

adding on to my list of diagnoses, I’ve been told I have EUPD so that’s fun

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

@hellosenpaiii_ Absolutely 🥲 spending our lives having to fix damage others inflicted on us, how is it fair? 🥺

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

It wasn’t until I had cleaned the walls, floors and cupboards that I decided to pop myself in a cold shower and assess the damage. In the instant I was “hurt” my brain switched off my pain receptors. I didn’t feel any of the burn until an hour after the incident.

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

11 months

I didn’t deserve what happened to me and I certainly don’t deserve the flashbacks that it caused - I’m so drained

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

I’m not doing okay.

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

@DID_we_write Thank you, you’re a huge inspiration to me, so it’s a huge compliment from you🥺🧡

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

11 months

@JonjayNeedham1 Thank you, Jon 🥺🧡

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

9 months

@ my mother

@SkyNews

Sky News

9 months

'I can't defend what he did': Why I stayed with my child sex offender husband 🔗 Read more

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

9 months

@81GBazza It’s not like I can control my nightmares

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

that made you think so little of yourself will no longer be around to hurt you. You put the worst one in prison for 25 years, another stayed on remand but was unfortunately found not guilty due to lack of evidence, the others are nowhere to be found, but you’re safe now.

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

9 months

Such a nice feeling when people compliment your progress 🥹🥹

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

11 months

@HannahEHarris12 Thank you so much for your kind words 🧡

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

9 months

@DrDoyleSays Also trying to keep ourselves busy so that we don’t have time to think 🥹

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

@DID_we_write It’s been mentioned to my CPN who said she wouldn’t mention it to the psychiatrist but nothing further has come from it yet 🥺 Thank you so much for your support, I might take you up on that soon 🥺🧡

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

9 months

Today I was really struggling with the thought of eating. I overcame this by going for a drive and slowly munching away while I was too busy concentrating on the road to argue with my brain about food

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

@pls__xx We’re smashing it 🧡

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@CharlRxbinson

Charlotte Robinson 🏳️‍🌈

10 months

Thankfully, I have small blisters on my neck and a couple above my lip, but the rest of my skin I avoided any proper injury.

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