🏃‍♀️⚖️ @CanPanicNow Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

@skamks0

@d3casp3r

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@harris711296827

@bokeplokalmalam

@Tlu031210

@Namikako_

@BinorRaja

@Inid_Ukwa

@sigepenk

@ThezaT347387

@bc349904

@VmaniakJ

@niigata_osaka

@GrundhoefRonn

@CostelloLuke

@VmaniakJ

@bokeplokalmalam

@Maniec_3D

@Overordinary

@modsghs

@K_University

@brunomorilloHOT

@HartsyProtzy

@ouejhon

@bokeplokalmalam

@akutSex2

@VmaniakJ

@alsigouin21

@VERS____

@SweetLove69562

@Yawtheking

@JimBeaminn

@venxmexe

@Jer0meAtH0me

@Kuwala6s4

🏃‍♀️⚖️

@CanPanicNow

4 years

Exposing racist law students is a part of fighting racism in the law. Racist law students become lawyers, lawmakers, judges, prosecutors, and public defenders.

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@CanPanicNow

1 year

The bible forbids debts lasting longer than 7 years, therefore it is my deeply held religious belief that I cannot pay student loans.

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@CanPanicNow

4 months

Being a lawyer is so funny because someone will have their dog off the leash at a park, barreling towards my dog, and jog screaming "oh, he's friendly" and I'll scream back "And you have strict and total liability if he isn't" and suddenly they turn into Usain Bolt

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@CanPanicNow

4 years

Law school class professionalism means I can't say "Fuck" in class but salmon-shorts Chad can say "Slavery was a necessary evil."

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@CanPanicNow

2 years

Me, a lawyer, to my nieces: "And what do we say when a cop asks you a question?" Them, repeating: "We don't talk to cops." My brother, their father, a cop: *scowling*

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@CanPanicNow

2 years

Being a lawyer is so embarrassing. Letting the whole world know you believe in our institutions at some level lol

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@CanPanicNow

4 months

This is about damages/compensation/property. No one touches dogs here. We are not some puppy-killing governor over here. At all. That's why we go after the humans only. The actual guilty parties. ☺️

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@CanPanicNow

3 years

Being a lawyer sounds like it is just getting paid to have anxiety for someone else.

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@CanPanicNow

2 years

Please know this is a joke. He would arrest me if I actually did this. Jkjk. Maybe. 50/50 chance.

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@CanPanicNow

2 years

Being a lawyer is like taking all of your toxic traits and making money off of them. Nosy? Argumentative? Petty AF? Self-defensive to a fault? Critical of others? Extremely anxious About fonts and comma placements? Boom. Ideal lawyer.

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@CanPanicNow

3 years

In 2000, 27% of lawyers were women. Legally Blonde premiered in 2001. Today (+)55% of law school graduates are women. Coincidence? I think not.

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@CanPanicNow

1 year

Also, WHILE WE ARE HERE, the bible requires masking and quarantining when someone is sick. Outside of camp/town. So, COVID precautions are biblical and anti maskers are offensive to God. Not wearing masks is a 1A violation.

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@CanPanicNow

2 years

Me, a lawyer: "Your honor, may I approach the bench?" Judge: "Yes. Approach." Me, whispers: "Are you mad at me?"

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@CanPanicNow

3 years

The military mobilizing and police dressing up in military assault gear across the country because of a jury verdict is not a sign of a healthy, functioning democracy.

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@CanPanicNow

1 year

Treating any foreigners disrespectfully, and not as a native born, violates God's commands in Leviticus. Therefore, the government discriminating against immigrants is a violation against my deeply held religious beliefs because my tax dollars go to support CBP's evils

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@CanPanicNow

2 years

I passed the bar exam!

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@CanPanicNow

3 months

Boeing's lawyer: "Hey, you remember how I said we have to depose the witness?" Boeing, smugly: "Oh. We disposed them already." Lawyer: "--i said . . . De-POSE." Boeing, nervously: ". . . de . . . spose?" Lawyer, whispering: "dePOSE." Boeing: "oh. Oh no."

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@CanPanicNow

2 years

Graduating law school, studying for the bar, and finally practicing law

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@CanPanicNow

1 year

And to be clear, The bible actually cannot be used to justify anything. Unless people don't actually read the bible. These points have more support than say abortion.

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@CanPanicNow

4 years

Last two minutes on a 1L Contract Law Final Exam, panic typing:

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@CanPanicNow

3 months

Dear Law Students considering Big Law just for the potential $200k/90 hour a week salary: Buc-ee's, the gas station, pays their General Managers $225(+) year/50 hour weeks.

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@CanPanicNow

2 years

Every law student should go to a prison at least once.

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@CanPanicNow

2 years

Don't call yourself an originalist if you're not walking into court like this

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@CanPanicNow

3 years

4 days until the bar exam. Just learned mens rea applies to women. Absolutely sick.

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@CanPanicNow

2 years

Law student, to lawyers: "I am so gifted. I understand this area of law. I got the top grade in [random class]." New Lawyer, to lawyers: "I'm a BABY. I know NOTHING. Please help. In fact, see this hand? You were meant to hold it."

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@CanPanicNow

4 months

A great way to get free legal help is to post a blatantly wrong legal take. Lawyers will work for FREE to correct someone. Then they'll fight amongst themselves. It's just . . . in our nature.

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@CanPanicNow

2 years

Lawyers will casually be like "I think there's a case on that" and then it's five hours of legal research

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@CanPanicNow

3 years

You get one shot at life--and you chose to go to LAW SCHOOL?

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@CanPanicNow

5 years

I'm going to go to law school in a suit tomorrow. Not because I have anything going on. Just to make the other law students nervous that they're missing out on something.

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@CanPanicNow

11 months

Lawyers spend three years in law school just to learn to say "it depends." And you might wonder if that's time well-spent and all I can say is well, it depends on how you look at it.

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@CanPanicNow

2 years

My coworkers came prepared to celebrate. One way or the other.

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@CanPanicNow

2 years

Lawyers will be like "I'm so bad at math and science. Hahaha. That's why I went to law school and not medicine school" and then write the worst legislation regulating women's health

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@CanPanicNow

10 months

I hate lawyer small talk. I don't care what area you practice. Tell me about the childhood traumas that led you to being a lawyer.

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@CanPanicNow

2 years

Toddlers have security blankets. Lawyers have that one specific brand of gel pens.

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@CanPanicNow

3 years

Law Schools: *looking nervously at NCAA ruling* "Join law review! It's an HONOR to perform this free, intensive labor that sustains the entire legal academic profession!"

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@CanPanicNow

1 year

Remember, in law school, how the con law profs would be like 'no, it's not just the justice's political whims of the day that wins the case' lol i hope those guys are ok today

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@CanPanicNow

4 years

I go to law school.

abby govindan

@abbygov

4 years

you ever meet a man and it’s so obvious that no one in his life has ever told him to shut the fuck up

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@CanPanicNow

4 years

Lawyer Job Posting: "We are a small law firm." Me, in my cover letter: "At 5'2" I believe I would fit in your small firm."

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@CanPanicNow

4 years

Combined, the LSAC and LSAT fees are $320. Plus the cost of each application. Plus the cost of transcripts. Plus the cost of visiting the schools. Money is a serious barrier to even applying to law school when it could just NOT be one. Systemic barriers still work as intended.

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@CanPanicNow

11 months

We should get sabbaticals as attorneys. Like six months to just leave and become humans again. Like, go complete the Appalachian Trail or something.

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@CanPanicNow

4 years

"Law school rankings are important." Calm down. Ted Cruz went to Harvard Law School and thinks the Paris Climate Agreement is about Paris.

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@CanPanicNow

11 months

The inefficiency of being a lawyer in the 1970's, 80's, 90's sounds so nice. Like "Oh, I look up cases" and literally walk SOMEWHERE. The MENTAL breaks of perusing shelves, searching slowly, pondering on your little walk back to your office. Now, it's factory work efficiency.

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@CanPanicNow

2 years

30 year old lawyers will be like "I'm too young for a midlife crisis!" Yet they get three hours of sleep a night, eat coffee for lunch, wine for dinner, sit for 16 hours a day, and maintain the anxiety levels of a too small, decade old bra strap. No. It's a midlife crisis for u.

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@CanPanicNow

2 years

Reminder, as he gabs about how unfair student loan forgiveness is to those that already paid, that Alito paid $2550/year to attend Yale Law School.

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@CanPanicNow

3 years

WestLaw: "Ok. I KNOW you searched for this very specific phrase. BUT, and hear me out, what if I just give you random results?"

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@CanPanicNow

15 days

"What brings you to this law school meeting" Me:

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@CanPanicNow

5 years

The LSAT is a serious socioeconomic barrier, and law schools should stop relying on it for admissions. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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@CanPanicNow

4 years

Me, a serious law student, this morning: "I am going to focus, get all of the readings done . . ." Me, by the afternoon: *has reformatted the Declaration of Independence into a modern complaint*

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@CanPanicNow

1 year

I wonder if law school makes lawyers insane or if law schools just attract the already insane.

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@CanPanicNow

3 months

A little less than half of America is about to learn about the criminal appeals process. And they aren't going to like it.

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@CanPanicNow

2 years

As a woman in law, there are few things better than talking to a male lawyer causally, inventing a case name, and then listening to him tell about how he read it and disagrees with my interpretation.

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@CanPanicNow

3 years

In explaining the legal concept of what is and what is not a "fixture," my Torts professor ripped a clock off the classroom wall. To his, and our, surprise, it was a fixture.

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@CanPanicNow

2 years

girls don't want boys. they want Westlaw to stay logged in.

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@CanPanicNow

3 years

Me, types for the 2000th time: "(c)" Word, 😌: "©" Me: *literally goes insane*

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@CanPanicNow

5 years

Law- - School -Yer

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@CanPanicNow

3 months

I wish law had a webMD equivalent. I want clients coming to me saying "oh my God it's murder." And I can just be like "haha. No that's just tax evasion."

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@CanPanicNow

2 years

Me, as a litigator:

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@CanPanicNow

4 years

Coronavirus Personal Safety Jurisdiction 🤝 Minimum Contacts

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@CanPanicNow

11 months

Dear law office IT, I have no more passwords in my soul. Your 30 day resets have drained me of happiness. Please send a typewriter.

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@CanPanicNow

4 years

Law School Type B personalities are actually Regular Human Type A.

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@CanPanicNow

2 years

Big Law Interviewer: "Any questions for us?" Me, leans forward: "Yes. Just generally. Tell me why I should spend my youth working 90 hours a week for you in the age of climate change, civil unrest, impossibly high property prices, pandemics, and just general apocalypse stuff?"

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@CanPanicNow

3 years

Y'all. I graduated law school. 😳

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@CanPanicNow

2 years

Appellate lawyer v. Litigator

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@CanPanicNow

2 years

One day a Gen Z judge will write "It's giving failure to state a claim" and on that day I will fade into the west.

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@CanPanicNow

2 years

If you graduated law school, no, you don't look 20. They're just being nice, honey. Embrace your decay from three year of raw cortisol

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@CanPanicNow

11 months

In law schools, we should have 'houses.' But instead of like courage or whatever, it's what shitty law movie or tv series convinced you to want to be a lawyer. There's such a difference between "Law and Order" and "Suits" or "How to Get Away with Murder" people

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@CanPanicNow

2 years

I LOVE turkey trot 5Ks. You'll have some guy in a racing tank in 40 degree weather with new $250 carbon-plated racing shoes doing high knees standing RIGHT NEXT to some skinny 6'5" dude in a child's turkey costume. And honestly you don't know which one is going to win.

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@CanPanicNow

5 months

Client: "So, did you have to go to college for to be a lawyer?" Me, pleasantly: "Yes." Client: "I got a degree too." Me: "aweso--" Client: "--second degree murder charge."

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@CanPanicNow

2 years

Some attorneys are really out here like "no research just vibes ur honor"

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@CanPanicNow

5 months

In law school, I imagined I'd want to do trial stuff. Be in court. Now, nope. Someone just pay me to research and write. You don't even have to talk to me. Just lemme writ my little law stories and drink my little coffees. TYIA

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@CanPanicNow

2 years

"Oh. You don't look like a lawyer." Me, dressed in oversized, paint stained running shorts, a shirt four sizes too big, a grass stained hat, and flannel socks with sandals: "It's because I'm a woman isn't it???'

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@CanPanicNow

3 years

Bar prep courses costing $2,500 after three years of law school really should have raised some red socioeconomic barriers flags for everyone.

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@CanPanicNow

3 years

The most important thing about being a good lawyer is apparently having a very good paralegal.

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@CanPanicNow

6 months

"Hi, mom, can you pick me up? I'm at the court house. I don't like it here." Mom, long pause: "No. You're a lawyer. That's literally your job."

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@CanPanicNow

1 year

Being a lawyer deserves no more and no less prestige than being a car mechanic, a carpenter, or a plumber. All you're doing is figuring out problems, framing solutions, and cleaning up someone else's shit. Try to stay grounded, friends, and go walk outside.

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@CanPanicNow

3 years

My grandma was absolutely DISGUSTED that I negotiated a wage. "Young women don't know how to work from the bottom up anymore. I wouldn't have hired you if you pulled that." So, anyway, if anyone was wondering how the most important person in my life took the news of a new job.😂

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@CanPanicNow

2 months

It's giving angry meme-warrior 1L trying to debate a Law Professor about her area of expertise.

Political Polls

@PpollingNumbers

2 months

NEWS: VP Kamala Harris accepts proposal from CBS News to debate JD Vance

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@CanPanicNow

3 months

Oh. Those 15 Westlaw tabs cannot be closed. Those are my emotional support Westlaw tabs.

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@CanPanicNow

2 years

"OMG what if AI replaces lawyers" bruh. Westlaw will put a red flag on a SCOTUS case because the southern district court of Wyoming was kind of like "naw"

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@CanPanicNow

3 years

The best thing a law student can do for their career is realize that big law firms like young people because they don't know what labor and workplace abuse looks like.

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@CanPanicNow

3 years

Some law students are just cops at heart.

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@CanPanicNow

2 years

No one warned me in law school that being a lawyer is actually 80% answering emails and 20% wishing you had more coffee at 4 p.m.

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@CanPanicNow

2 years

I get sworn in as a lawyer today.

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@CanPanicNow

5 years

Law student pro-tip for studying at coffee shops: If you mutter the elements of first degree murder, no one will sit near you.

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@CanPanicNow

4 years

Was there a manual on "these are fancy law firms" that I missed during 1L because an awful lot of lawyers and profs keep saying "[random white man's surname] firm, which I'm sure you're familiar with." No, I'm not familiar with it. Why would I be? Did they invent the law?

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@CanPanicNow

4 years

Dear Law Students, you will never have a cold call as embarrassing as ACB's 1st Amendment one.

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@CanPanicNow

3 years

Law student rankings: Top 10% Bottom 10% 🤝 Lawyers

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@CanPanicNow

3 years

Going to law school is awful because I still don't read the terms and agreements, but now I kind of feel guilty about it.

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@CanPanicNow

1 year

Is there a lawyer job where you can be outside a lot, rarely talk to humans, and just get to write giant briefs? Because that's the entirety of my career dream.

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@CanPanicNow

2 years

The legal profession needs to embrace long afternoon naps.

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@CanPanicNow

5 months

Look. Normal people don't go to law school. That wasn't a profession. That's a psychological screening test. And we all failed.

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@CanPanicNow

3 years

I see law profs on twitter . . . But I don't see grades on my Canvas. Weird.

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@CanPanicNow

4 years

It's either "Big Law" rich or "Public Interest" poverty without numbers. I wish lawyers were more open about wages. As a first gen, I don't know what my labor is worth especially in law.

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@CanPanicNow

2 months

"I don't like reading fiction." Well, haha, you devoted your whole law career to administrative law and now Chevron is dead. So, guess you did.

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@CanPanicNow

10 months

Are you even a lawyer if your fight or flight responses aren't triggered by a little email notifications?

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@CanPanicNow

4 years

Being a first-gen law student means entering law school without knowing about the character/fitness fees, the MPRE fees, the bar application fees, the bar bar prep course fees, the expectation that you will devote 2 months of not working and studying for the bar post-JD . . .

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@CanPanicNow

4 years

Rudy passed the bar and just uttered the words "NORMAL Scrutiny" in court. The bar doesn't test minimum competency. It tests access to resources.

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@CanPanicNow

3 years

Lawyers take one professional headshot and use it for the next twenty years.

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@CanPanicNow

4 years

These students exist and MUST be called out. i.e. #1 @STCL_Houston 's own Mikey Fleming:

LIL SPLASH 💦

@1WavyLaFlare

4 years

Alright Twitter, it’s time to expose a RACIST who happens to be a future lawyer pursuing a degree at South Texas College of Law ( @STCL_Houston ) [A THREAD]

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@CanPanicNow

4 years

Dear Law Prof, grading my final exams: I just want you to find 11,780 more points. That's all.

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