🍉Jazz Hands, No Relation🍉 @Calico_Jazz Twitter profile

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🍉Jazz Hands, No Relation🍉

6 months

This account is 5% talking about my own fanfiction, 5% roasting my gay friends, and 90% qrting UnhingedAO3 tags alongside screenshots from GOmens, OFMD, and/or WWDITS(2014) pls enjoy 🌈

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@DonaldH23657

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@zhellersdark

@mahmut181990

@NewsNow4USA

🍉Jazz Hands, No Relation🍉

@Calico_Jazz

2 years

Two of my coworkers were costumers on season 1 of OFMD and TIL that the s1 costume dept designed their own flag 🥺💖🧵🪡🏴‍☠️

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

No one: Fanfic writers describing Stede & Ed:

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

"Gender is what's between your legs" OK then my pronouns are your/mom

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@Calico_Jazz

1 year

No, YOU drove half an hour out of your way to take a selfie in front of the West Hollywood OFMD billboard

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@Calico_Jazz

1 year

THAT IS A HUSBAND UNIFORM IF I EVER SAW ONE SWEDE YOU DAWG YOU

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@Calico_Jazz

1 year

THEY FOUND IT THEY FOUND THE ONE SHIP THIS FANDOM HASN'T DONE THEY FOUND OUR BLINDSPOT AND THEY USED IT AGAINST US

Jackie ✨

@janitor_jackie

1 year

Guys I’m being dead serious rn, IS THAT THE SWEDE???

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@Calico_Jazz

1 year

Matt Maher said that NYCC is his first con, and since he's not on social media he didn't realize how large and dedicated this fan base is until coming to NYCC this weekend. "You guys have built a whole community around this show, it's incredible." 😭😭

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

So did you see The Chain by Fleetwood Mac on your Spotify Wrapped or are you straight

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

Oh shit it's about to be Goths vs Gays in the final round...

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@Calico_Jazz

1 year

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 The Kraken's Revenge 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

nightmargin 🐌

@NightMargin

1 year

it's pride month which means i get to post this again

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@Calico_Jazz

1 year

This heterosexual just called me "sir" unprompted and gave me the most intense gender euphoria of my fucking life 😭💖🏴‍☠️

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@Calico_Jazz

1 year

Running into your ex at an antique shop is literally the gayest thing I've ever heard there is no way a straight person wrote this scene

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

OH I BEG TO FUCKING DIFFER

fran

@galacticidiots

2 years

Your ship is either canon endgame or it has really good fanfiction, you can’t have it both ways

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

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@Calico_Jazz

1 year

DJ had a few words for everyone today 💜

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@Calico_Jazz

1 year

Teach a man to fish and he'll feed himself. Teach a Teach to fish and he'll develop a new hyperfixation and leave his boyfriend to pursue fishing professionally.

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

Rh*s D*rby looking like my favorite lesbian aunt 💖

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

When I was 13 I dyed my hair purple without my parents permission to get their attention but they didn't notice until a month later at the dinner table my dad said "Did you change your hair?" And if that is not the most Louis Bonnet coded shit I've ever heard

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

No one: Gentlebeard fanfiction:

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

"Stede isn't THAT clueless" ok what about when Ed, sprawled across a chaise like One Of Your French Girls, looking at Stede like he's about to fucking pounce, says in the absolute horniest voice ever "you're a fucking LUNATIC and I LIKE IT" and Stede is just like "aw shucks 😊"

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

Something OFMD just happened to me

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

The gentleman pirate I presume

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

*Spanish Jackie Voice* MY NOSES!!

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@Calico_Jazz

1 year

#ofmds2spoilers #ofmds2spoiler Out of all the thousands upon thousands of Gentlebeard AUs that this hypercreative fandom has come up with in which Ed has worked every job from bartender to lumberjack to astronaut, did anyone think to give the man an inn to run??

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@Calico_Jazz

1 year

IT'S REAALLLLLL

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

@lyingaybastard There are several possible outcomes to this and none of them are heterosexual

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@Calico_Jazz

1 year

It's Ed’s song. Lucius scribed it. Frenchie bottled it and tossed it overboard. Stede is staring pensively out to sea as it washes up to shore. Gnossienne no. 5 plays as he opens it, reads it, and says "Wow.... I'd sure hate to be that guy!" then throws it back.

Our Flag Means Death Frames

@ofmdframes

1 year

i don't think a single one of us is prepared to learn what's actually in this bottle

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@Calico_Jazz

1 year

Literally zero minutes of screentime, but I know that anyone in OFMD fandom would throw hands for him ❤🐴🥺

non aesthetic things

@PicturesFoIder

1 year

What character is this?

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@Calico_Jazz

1 year

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

Rhys dresses like he's trying to blend in with 14 y.o.'s at a skate park in 2007 (affectionate) how is anyone surprised that he knows how to fucking ollie, like omg this fandom sometimes 💀💀💀

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

Here's a sneak peek of my SMAU 🥰 which takes place between 1999 and 2173 with 14 time jumps (some of which are backwards, all of which are heartbreaking) CW: C*lico J*ck, brief mentions of h*terosexuality [made & posted with love, you're all fucking wizards and ily]

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@Calico_Jazz

1 year

HBO/Max has the opportunity to do the funniest thing in OFMD history

Bittles Bombardier ✒️Vtuber💣

@BittlesToon

1 year

Soon. 🤡

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

Just realized... Fancyman Stede didn't choose Mary on Memorial Day. He chose Alma. Slowly but surely, @faeeebaeee is healing us ❤️‍🩹

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

SOMEONE TALK ME OUT OF GETTING A "You have already left kudos here :)" TRAMP STAMP PLS

better gay than dead

@bttrgaythndead

2 years

Gotta say, $150 donation for the AO3 “you have already left kudos here” baseball cap is really tempting.

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

Me every time ofmd twt has a selfie fest /lh

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@Calico_Jazz

1 year

He made ptsd look so CUNTY tho

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

I have seen this photo 100 times and I JUST NOW realized they are HOLDING HANDS 💀

Des // Scam Likely

@Dessydaddy51

2 years

They’re all dressed up for their autism diagnosis

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@Calico_Jazz

1 year

Never change 💖

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

Ppl always writing Ed in fanfiction as being dirty/not bathing, and I'm looking at this like, this bitch has an 18th-century Curly Girl routine I just know it 💖

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@Calico_Jazz

1 year

Ofmd fandom 💜

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

SEASON 2 STEDE realizing that since he gave up his wealth he now has to actually make money at pirating, we watch him being a bumbling shitty pirate but he's determined and so he gets better at it, until he's a badass MONTAGE all set to Dolly Parton's "9 to 5" YOU'RE WELCOME

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

Not a woman, not a man, but a secret third thing (Ū͕̘̬̮̗͉̳̙̕n̢̯̼̤ͧ́̀͂b͐̽͏̱̹̜̼̤͍̙r̸̜͔̜͍̜̱̅̐͛̍i̦̮̿ͧ̑͢d̯̖̜̦̞̺͓̓́̚ͅl̸͍̤̤̩̝͖̪̊̽̾e̦͉̎ͫ͟d̝̪̣̊̾̈̾͞ c̬͍͇̩͓̩̬̟̅̀̀h̥̖̰͐ͮ͑ͭ͟a̹̝͌̈́̂͞o̯͇̣̟͂̊ͫ̿̀ͅs̢͓̦̗̖̲̫̟ͧ)

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

He looks like one of those movies where an 11 y.o. boy makes a wish and wakes up in a middle-aged man's body

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@Calico_Jazz

1 year

I love how the next thing we see is him at his first day of work and he's just telling The Gals about his boyfriend instead of doing his fucking job #ofmds2spoilers

ass tonight, ass forever

@ofmdquotes

1 year

STEDE: I’m overqualified for towels.

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@Calico_Jazz

1 year

Me when friends/family who have seen OFMD and thought it was "a fun show" ask if the s2 trailer is good

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@Calico_Jazz

1 year

Look all I'm saying is it would be the greatest crossover event in television history #ofmds2spoilers

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

🧵🧵 FIC RECS 🧵🧵 Finally got round to reading Does the Body Good (and yes it is SO GOOD) and it brought to mind some other NSFW Gentlebeard fics I love that cover some similar themes which I thought y'all might enjoy!

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

ONE BED ONE BED ONE BED ONE BED ONE BED ONE BED ONE BED ONE BED ONE BED ONE BED ONE BED ONE BED ONE BED ONE BED ONE BED ONE BED ONE BED ONE BED ONE BED ONE BED ONE BED ONE BED ONE BED ONE BED

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

Gotta hand it to him rh*s really has perfected this very niche genre of "my kids just told me what a thirst trap is, am I doing this right?" selfie, like what reason do you have to wear a whole-ass jacket with no shirt on underneath sir pls 💀

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

"Hnnng, fuck, Stede, you fuck me so good, ahh!" "Well, darling. I fuck you so WELL."

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@Calico_Jazz

1 year

Look I'm patient, I will wait as long as it takes, I'm not bitter. I just think it's really fucking funny that we have seen the premiere of TWO SEASONS of WWDITS since OFMD S2 was announced and we still don't even have a release date.

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@Calico_Jazz

1 year

BTW I made sure to tell him that his line deliveries are fucking gold and he's stealing every scene he's in, and his response was "Am I? I guess I wouldn't know, I haven't watched the show, I hate watching myself on camera" like sir I 100% understand that feeling but pls watch it

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

They're captured and standing back to back with their hands tied up and Ed just links his pinkie with Stede's 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

100% correct our flag means death quotes

@incorrectofmds

2 years

imagine if we get a repeat of the foot touch but with their hands in season 2

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

Useful tool for artists! Can't wait to see all the fun illustrations of Ed & Stede doing arts and crafts together 🥰

Beanscurd

@beanscurd

2 years

“GLUE” brush for procreate user!

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

What does it say about me and my fashion sense that the two EMA looks that made me say "omg I would SO DEFINITELY wear that" were the two that everyone hated 💀

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

(Talking about Halloween costumes at work) Me: "I'll probably dress as something from Our Flag Means Death" Coworker: "oh I haven't seen that show but my friend said the fans are all like crazy obsessive Twitter stalkers" GDHDFFFFG MA'AM

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@Calico_Jazz

1 year

Idk why I made this and never shared it, did I decide it was too sad??

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@Calico_Jazz

1 year

#ofmds2spoilers Pete: I thought you died! Lucius: Yeah, I think a lot of people did Me: bitch literally no one thought you died lmao

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@Calico_Jazz

1 year

Unhinged AO3 tags🪦🕊️

@unhingedA03

1 year

don't fucking look at my boner when we fight

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

Rhys Darby is "unproblematic"?? Um OK he literally just tried to steal my pen at the autograph booth??? #asacreweccc2023

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

DISCOURSE IS TEARING THIS FANDOM APART 😭😭😭😭

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

God I hope that David and Nathan keep up the "RIP Lucius" bit like nothing happened #ofmds2spoilers #ofmdspoilers #spoilers

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@Calico_Jazz

1 year

If I hit 1000 followers by my birthday (June 30th) I will mail a copy of every fic I've written this past year disguised as a Bible to Ron DeSantis. 🎉

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

Me watching Little Women, 2019: "How many millions did they have for this costume budget and Amy is wearing fucking Uggs smdh can't believe this won a fucking oscar" Me watching OFMD, 2020: "GIVE THOSE PIRATE CROCS A FUCKING EMMY 💖💖💖"

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

He's tired of your shit tbh

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@Calico_Jazz

1 year

Sandhya

@dollarbillbluez

2 years

Few understand the importance of having a sick ass jacket that everyone recognizes you by

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@Calico_Jazz

1 year

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@Calico_Jazz

1 year

Of course this would be the one time I get perceived

moosh 🧜🏼‍♂️

@ofmooshd

1 year

hey @Calico_Jazz i think taika read that tweet

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@Calico_Jazz

1 year

One of his kids' friends called him "uncool" and he immediately went out and bought this jacket

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@Calico_Jazz

1 year

Having war veteran level flashbacks rn...

sara 🦋

@chaoticmulaney

1 year

so taika waititi is now the *checks notes* cco of a brand called *checks notes* taika

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

*reverently touches the ground of OFMD twitter* a discourse is about to happen....

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

Sorry guyz I've peaked

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

Who holds a duck like that 😭😭😭 sir pls

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@Calico_Jazz

1 year

"What's the OFMD Fandom like?"

Unhinged AO3 tags🪦🕊️

@unhingedA03

1 year

everyone is gay and mentally ill

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@Calico_Jazz

1 year

Archie: *flirting with Jim* I liked your demon wooden boy story 😘 Jim: *fiddling with the rotting disembodied stump of Izzy’s leg* aww shucks 🥰 #ofmds2spoilers

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

I WON AT FANFICTION U GUYZ WE DID IT WE CAN ALL GO HOME NOW ❤🧡💛💚💙💖🌈🦄

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

Ofmd fans will fr tweet a photo with the caption "the gentleman pirate I presume lol" and it's just a picture of the baby from eraserhead

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

Coladas 330: OH THANK GOD Coladas 331: FUCK

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@Calico_Jazz

1 year

#ofmds2spoilers #ofmdfinalespoilers (( FINALE SPOILERS )) All jokes aside, I'm really not looking forward to this already divided fandom splitting in fucking half. Idgaf which half or whose side you're on, it's gonna suck, sorry.

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@Calico_Jazz

1 year

Stede taking this poster off the wall so he can lay in bed drawing hearts and "Mr Stede Blackbeard" all over it while twirling his hair and kicking his feet

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@Calico_Jazz

1 year

In case anyone wants a pic of the billboard without my dumb face in it lol The building is 9000 W Sunset Blvd if you want to see it in person, this is the west-facing side of the building 💖

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@Calico_Jazz

1 year

*sigh*

Unhinged AO3 tags🪦🕊️

@unhingedA03

1 year

I once shipped it as a joke and now it's taken over my soul

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

Just realized that I gave zero description of Stede’s clothes in Snowed In even though "building a character through clothing" is my literal career irl but these were the vibes I imagined for his ski clothes. Snowed In Stede is a vintage clothes horse 😉

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

Hi ofmd fandom I'm officially declaring it Pet Pic Day pls only post pet pics today ty 💖

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

Filing a lawsuit on any fanfic that makes Blackbeard a top

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

Best pic I got was of a new friend with Rhys 💛 @shaskalol 💛

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

This is a feature called "clocking!" It was seen on both men's and women's stockings in (mostly) 16th-19th centuries, was sometimes a method of reinforcement or sometimes just decorative, and yes Stede Bonnet would 100% have a whole drawer full of these beauties 💖

ceo 🥀

@ceo_revenge

2 years

I need to see stede bonnet stepping out in these 💅🏻

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

Also the hottie that Mary is making out with is Evelyn in case that wasn't obvious ok ty I am drunk goodnight 💖

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

✨️🧵 FIC RECS 🧵✨️ Today's theme is SOFT DOM STEDE Gentlebeard smut, so buckle up buttercunts!

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

I am transmasc nonbinary. I don't talk about it much here because that's not what this account is for, and I tend to be very capricious about gender in general, but yes I am transmasc nonbinary.

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

I think maybe I need to stop writing smut on my phone 💀💀💀

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@Calico_Jazz

1 year

BTW I need everyone to know that ALEX was the one who asked to take a photo with US 😎

Alex Sherman

@CapitalWLD

1 year

@gentlepanpirate @Calico_Jazz We look good!!

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@Calico_Jazz

2 years

Anyway adding to my list of WIPs: Stede and Mary go to a gay bar looking for a Unicorn to save their marriage, Ed swoops in like "hey man this is not the way to have a 3 way this ain't gonna work out lol" and Stede is like "oh?? How do I have a 3way Ed pls show me your ways 🧐

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@Calico_Jazz

1 year

Me, sobbing in a leather jacket: BUT I CAN'T STOP THINKIN, ALL THE THINGS WE SHOULD'VE SAID THAT WE NEVER SAID, ALL THE THINGS WE SHOULD'VE DONE THAT WE NEVER DID, ALL THE THINGS WE SHOULD'VE GIVEN BUT I DIDN'T, OOOOOHHHHHH DAAAARLIN Aquarium employee: sir please leave

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🍉Jazz Hands, No Relation🍉

@Calico_Jazz

2 years

Because clothing is integral to how I write and understand a character: Here are the Taft shoes that Unicorn!Stede wore to the bar and the pair of boots Ed was considering 🦄