[writing letterboxd review of Eyes Wide Shut]
This vision of New York has an almost dreamlike quali-
[deleting]
An erotic yet nihilist look at the dark underbelly of pow-
[deleting]
You Know Stanley Kubrick’s Ass Never Went To McDonald’s
I’m a projectionist at the AMC Dubuque Iowa and every time there’s a screening of Babylon (0 tickets sold) I take the projector (35mm) hook it to my Gamecube and play Resident Evil 4
FILMSTRUCK: W-where am I?
MOVIEPASS: You're in heaven. Just swipe your card and walk in
THE VILLAGE VOICE: We've all got millions of subscribers here
BLOCKBUSTER: Even me!
[all laugh]
JAMAL KHASHOGGI: Blockbuster's kinda the class clown here,
QUENTIN TARANTINO: LookArightIReallyLOVETheFlyLikeThatsAGrossFuckinMovieArightButTheresOtherCronenbergsILoveLikeTheBroodScannersAndDead-
[suddenly remembering he had jerk chicken for lunch, now talking like Sebastian the crab] Dead Ringahs BIG on de Eye-lands Mon!
If you read 3000 books you learn about history, other cultures, other peoples’ inner lives. If you watch 3000 movies you think “I could probably shoot two guns at once”
[accidentally DMing girl who liked my Ishtar review when I meant to DM indiewire critic who gave Den of Thieves 1 star] Soon you will know my katana’s name
It is a crime that Letterboxd, the site on which users can log and review every movie they watch, does not have DMs. People who feel the need to log every movie they watch deserve love just as much as anyone else
Made my TV writing debut on last week's episode of Euphoria! I hope you guys liked the subplot where everyone decides the sensitive nerdy kid was cool the whole time and 7 girls go over to his house to watch Wild Strawberries
Your tweet “Eating a nice pasta that I cooked all by myself 👍” has 14000 more views than usual because it was shared in a group chat of everyone you know dedicated to making fun of you
Hello
@netflix
it has come to my attention that you are going bankrupt. To prevent this, please commission a travel show where I track down famous trains from movie history. I will defer salary if you purchase the trains for me
@jakebrodes
sailor jerry rum and coke that was 2 parts rum and 1 part coke, it was called "getting on the boat" and eventually just "boat." if we could only afford admiral nelson at the time it was called "dinghy"
[halfway through part 7 of Ken Burns' 2020 series]
"The death toll continued to skyrocket as millions prepared themselves for mass eviction. When, out of nowhere..."
[stupid sounding yokel banjo music starts]
"Major League Baseball began its weekend-long comeback"
Living with 2 guys is extremely dangerous because the longer you live together the more you risk transforming into a Frasier Niles and Their Dad Situation
Last night at dodger stadium an extremely drunk father in front of me walking to his seat put his entire hand on his 9 year old son’s head for balance and then sat on the armrest
spent the last 5 years with
@lund_carson
writing and filming a love letter to baseball and today I’m delighted to announce it got into Cannes. Time to teach those euros what a balk is
[walking into the video store after my friend tricked me into thinking midnight in paris was part of a series of owen wilson time travel movies] Do you guys have Midnight in Pittsburgh, Midnight in Vancouver, or Midnight in St Louis
Stepdad wants to take mother and I to the local NFL football game. Foolish mistake, Paul. The day of reckoning will come on family movie night. Hope you enjoy Satantango
Someone once challenged Ernest Hemingway in a letter to write a short story in only six words. The letter he sent back read-
"Jewish pussy got me acting strange"
President Taft never got stuck in a bathtub, that’s impossible. But getting lost in the spa and yelling for help so loud I get banned, that could happen to anyone
The cast and crew of Eephus will be playing a baseball game in New York the day before our
@TheNYFF
premiere to the delight of all.
I will be the closer. Taking suggestions for my walkout song
tonight Pedro Costa told me that Jose Mourinho is a big fan of Almodovar and James Gray. Very proud to have reported this, the most useless journalism ever undertaken
I am a proud member of film twitter, a community of 1000 sentient satellites who tweet “Heat is on TNT right now” every day and 1000 teens who tweet “I’m horny for detective pikachu”
The Worst Actor You've Ever Seen: hey Leatherface, you're cancel. 100 emoji I'm gaslighting you
Guy In Comments: Sadly, if Leatherface were real, my cousin would actually say that...