Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social) @BoozyBadger Twitter profile

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

1 year

Lawyers are the QA testers of legislation sometimes, sitting there looking at statutes and saying “Okay, but can I break it?”

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

2 years

Disney World has announced it is closing due to Hurricane Ian. While many think it is for obvious safety reasons, the actual reason is if the power goes out and they lose containment the animatronics from Small World will be free to feed.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

2 years

If you aren’t aware, a Twitter employee responded to Musk calling out some of his bullshit and got fired. Elonistas are responding with “Haha, way to get fired!” and I don’t think they understand that when an experienced adult does this they don’t expect to keep their job.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

2 years

I see a Uncle Fester is trending and while I’m not sure why this is a good time to point out that the actor who originally played Uncle Fester is the reason California enacted laws specifically to protect child actors.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

4 years

“I am invoking my right to remain silent and my right to consult an attorney.” Full stop. Don’t add anything. Don’t say “If you think I did...” Don’t say “I think I want to...” “I am invoking my right to remain silent and my right to consult an attorney.”

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

2 years

General Reminder in re LGBTQ+ folks once again playing respectability politics: You're only "one of the good ones" to folks until they decide there are no "good ones."

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

2 years

J.K. Rowling has obviously threatened legal action and led to this, because the libel laws in the UK are amazingly strict. Fun fact, in the U.S. a foreign defamation judgment is only recognized if it meets U.S free speech standards. Rowling’s a bigot.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

4 years

Police officers are resigning in large numbers. The LAPD doesn't have the ability to pay overtime. Units are being disbanded. We've reached the point where, to borrow the militaristic language our departments are so fond of, we're engaging in a siege to starve them out.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

6 years

1985: “Nazis are bad” “No shit, Sherlock?” 2018: “Nazis are bad.” *1,000 likes and 250 retweets* *10 comments saying “Everyone the left doesn’t like is a Nazi now.”* *”YOU MEAN THE NATIONAL SOCIALIST GERMAN WORKERS PARTY.” *5 comments about how Stalinists killed more.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

4 years

There is apparently a card circulating for people who do not want to wear facemasks. The card states they have a medical condition that prevents them from wearing a facemask, they do not need to disclose it, and that not allowing them to shop is discrimination under the ADA. /1

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

4 years

No, Abby Johnson, this means statistically your "brown son" is more likely to be arrested, prosecuted, and convicted for an offense than your white sons. Those things do not necessarily translate to "Is more likely to commit crime."

VICE News

@VICENews

4 years

In a deleted video obtained by VICE News, RNC speaker Abby Johnson says “statistically, my brown son is more likely to commit a violent offense over my white sons.”

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

2 years

Someone told McCarthy he needed five guys to get a majority, and he entirely misunderstood the assignment.

Gary Grumbach

@GaryGrumbach

2 years

Heading into the Speaker’s Office: Boxes of Five Guys

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

4 years

If someone who is armed throws away the gun, they are unarmed. If they then turn and comply with your order to “show me your hands,” and you shoot them, you are knowingly shooting an unarmed person.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

3 years

“I’m already tired of seeing rainbows all over the place!” Listen pal, If I have to listen to “Let It Snow” from October 15th to December 26th when I go to pick up beef jerky, you can handle a month of rainbows.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

3 years

Proudly saying "I'm an asshole" is not an excuse for your absolute failure to cultivate any personality beyond being an insufferable dipshit.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

4 years

Even if their nickname was allegedly “Lil Homicide,” you have still knowingly shot an unarmed child. Even if they ran, you have still knowingly shot an unarmed child. Even if it is 2 in the morning, you have still knowingly shot an unarmed child.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

4 years

Hey folks, just a reminder a woman was literally just charged in PA based on some photos of her at a protest where they tracked her by subpoenaing Etsy records, reviewing her workplace's social media, reviewing her LinkedIn, and pulling news footage so maybe listen to Shannon.

Shannon Strucci

@plentyofalcoves

4 years

I generally avoid quote tweeting stuff I disagree with but I do feel it's important to say that if you've been protesting, do not under any circumstances put all of your sensitive info in a google forms survey, no matter how much Vox promises to keep your info safe. They can't.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

4 years

I’d rather have my child asking me uncomfortable questions than have someone else bury their kid for my comfort.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

2 years

Memorize this phrase please if you plan on protesting: “I am exercising my right to remain silent, and I am requesting an attorney.” Clear, direct, and unequivocal. Leave no room for argument as to what you mean.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

6 years

Some Gamers, Apparently: “I can’t believe I have to play as a gay character when I’m straight!” POC, LGBTQ+, and Female Gamers: “Oh you poor, poor baby.”

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

5 years

The year is 2020. Bands of furries roam California, stopping domestic violence one incident at a time. You folks rock.

San Jose: ‘Furries’ pulled assaulter out of vehicle, sat on him

A group of befurred bystanders intervened when they saw a man ‘whaling on’ his girlfriend inside a car late Friday, witnesses and police said.

www.mercurynews.com

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

2 years

If this occurs the only thing standing between guests and certain doom is the strangely attractive animatronic fox from Splash Mountain. Nobody knows why he protects the guests, only that he does.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

4 years

"Schools must reopen in the fall" is a veiled way of saying "Companies are aware that they do not pay enough for childcare, nor do they invest in childcare, and if schools do not reopen the government must face the reality many parents will be unable to return to work."

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

4 years

#IfDonaldTrumpIsReelected I’m staying right the fuck here. I refuse to abandon the folks who can’t leave to the whims of fate, especially when I have some ability to help and some degree of protection afforded to me by not being their immediate target.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

5 years

THE 17TH CENTURY IS THE 1600'S. THE 18TH CENTURY IS THE 1700'S. THE 19TH CENTURY IS THE 1800'S. THE 20TH CENTURY IS THE 1900'S. THE 21ST CENTURY SO FAR HAS BEEN THE 1800'S, BUT THAT'S NOT A NUMERICAL CONFUSION, MORE OF A CULTURAL THING THAT WE'RE ACTUALLY SORT OF UPSET ABOUT.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

2 years

“The yurt-dwelling, sheep herding hermit has provided further context to the lesbian emu farmer scandal and we may all be in prologue of The Stand due to TikTok” is certainly a phrase.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

4 years

I generally refuse to block folks, but the first motherfucker who is like "OwO no Pawitics Pwease!" today is getting one. Take your head out of your fluffy wuffy ass and pay attention.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

2 years

“LOL, you overplayed your hand!” Kids, I’m pretty sure the dude expected to be and was ready to be fired when he told the thin-skinned billionaire that owned the company he was wrong in a public forum. You need to look at it more like the guy who quit in “Half Baked.”

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

4 years

“I’m not gonna go to a furry convention that says Black Lives Matter.” G O O D.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

2 years

I need to go render some legal services for a chicken farmer and a baker so I can get some eggs and biscuits now...

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

2 years

THERE IS A SHIT TON OF HAM ON MY COUCH. I HAVE A LOT OF HAM NOW.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

2 years

I’ve tried a few times today to say something, and it’s not coming out right in my head. So here: In college some guys followed me from a gay bar, waited until I was on a dark street on my way back to my dorm, and jumped me. They beat the shit out of me while calling me a fag.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

6 years

Fox Twitter: "I am a sly and cute creature!" Wolf Twitter: "I am a noble and dignified creature." Dog Twitter: "I am a loyal and playful friend." Coyote Twitter: "Okay, so, this involves gasoline, a pallet of fireworks, and a road flare..."

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

4 years

The card assumes that a disability is a free pass. This is not accurate. The ADA requires non-discrimination and reasonable accommodation UNLESS doing so would endanger the health, welfare, or safety of employees or other shoppers. /3

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

2 years

The publicity surrounding this led to the enactment of the California Child Actor's Bill which, among other things, limited the hours child actors could work and required 15% of their income be placed in trust for them - commonly known as the Coogan Act.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

4 years

What if I told you that shooting a child who is unarmed at the time of the shooting, and is showing you they are unarmed when you shoot them, still means you shot an unarmed child...even if they had a gun earlier?

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

3 years

This will end up with a dead child. I guarantee you, this will end up with a dead child.

Erin Reed

@ErinInTheMorn

3 years

Greg Abbot has officially directed Family and Protective Services to begin investigating all trans children in Texas and prosecuting their parents as child abusers. He has also instructed all teachers, doctors, and caregivers to begin reporting any trans students they see.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

2 years

How many people would love to have left their jobs immediately after calling their boss a lying dipshit in public?

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

3 years

Another thing, just in general, regarding the kink at Pride discourse: One of the reasons you get pushback from older queers has nothing to do with exhibitionism. It harkens back to a long-running argument in the LGBTQIA+ communities surrounding militant respectability.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

7 years

Hey. Hey you. Sometimes, just sometimes, remember that behind the screen names you see on the internet there’s a real person with real emotions and feelings, and they may be trying desperately to feel okay. In times like these, we could all do with a bit more humanity.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

4 years

So where a person says "I cannot wear a mask due to my disability," the accommodation does NOT have to be "Fine, no mask needed for you then." It can be "Okay. Well, we offer curbside pickup if you shop online, and we can have an employee actually pick out things for you." /9

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

7 years

“There’s no proof the Holocaust happened.” Fuck you. Fuck everything about you. Fuck people that like you and your family for letting you grow up to be an ignorant piece of shit. “You won’t debate me!” Debate’s reserved for people with legitimate thoughts, not bigoted pricks.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

4 years

Are you here to protest? “Am I free to leave, Officer?” Have you seen anything suspicious? “Am I free to leave, Officer?” No. “I am invoking my right to remain silent and my right to consult an attorney.”

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

2 years

Jackie Coogan, who would play Uncle Fester, was a child actor as well and an extremely popular one - he was a favorite of Charlie Chaplin and would earn over $50,000,000 in today dollars when acting wasn’t “millions per picture” money.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

2 years

This was the Android Programmer version of saying “Ya know what? Fuck this place and fuck you, I’m going home.”

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

3 years

Jaclyn, Did they confiscate these from someone handing them out? An amount of due diligence is required, as edibles are illegal in Pennsylvania. It's much more likely Bensalem Police arrested someone who had these for personal use and are making a scene about the "MARY JA WANNA"

Jaclyn Lee

@JaclynLeeTV

3 years

BEWARE: As Halloween gets closer, @BensalemPolice are warning parents to LOOK at your child’s candy before they eat it. They confiscated these snacks that look a lot like the real thing. All are laced with THC @6abc

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

2 years

Just remember that if you work hard, keep your nose to the grindstone, go above and beyond, and always give 110% at work, you may someday be downsized in a corporate restructuring to increase shareholder value by $0.05 per share.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

7 years

16 years ago I was a college dropout who was essentially living out of the back of my old Jeep. Now I’m a lawyer with a loving family. Who you are now is no indication of who you can become. Hang in there.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

6 years

I know you're tempted. I know you want to start a big group discussion on the ethics of assisted suicide. But let me give you a bit of advice. Fucking don't. For the next 72 hours, keep your goddamn mouth shut and don't fuck a hornet's nest. Let people grieve.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

4 years

“I’m unfollowing you because of your positions this weekend!” No need to announce it, the button’s right there at the top of the screen. Have a great night.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

4 years

The fact the police felt safe arresting an entire crew from a major news network as the reporter was live, on the air, and repeatedly stating to the police they would move if the police told them to tells you just about everything you need to know about the state of our country.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

4 years

Cops: “EVERYONE HATES US!” IRS Agents: “Oh boo fucking hoo. You were idolized after 9/11. Everyone conveniently forgot all the shit you did. People have hated us for DECADES.” Lawyers: “Point out where Shakespeare said to kill you guys.”

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

2 years

How am I gonna report this on my taxes? What is the approximate value of 5 country hams?

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

4 years

Long story short - If you need more proof these anti-maskers are the biggest entitled assholes on the face of the planet, appreciate the fact they're actively attempting to exploit protections in place for a number of Americans, simply to justify throwing a tantrum at Krogers.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

1 year

I’m a queer guy with a trans spouse and kids who have identified as varying degrees of queer themselves so no, there really isn’t a lot of room in my life for “agreeing to disagree” anymore cause what we’re disagreeing on is the level of direct threat to my family.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

4 years

But, and let me be crystal clear, the real problem here is PEOPLE ARE ABUSING THE ADA FOR THEIR SHIT REASONS. A law that exists to make certain those who are differently-abled are allowed to live regular lives and businesses allow them to do so within reasonable expectations./12

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

6 years

The Pinkerton security company is suing Rockstar for making it villains in Red Dead Redemption 2, because that is clearly the only stain on its proud history of *checks notes* violent strikebreaking, mutilating old women, and being explicitly banned from government contracts.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

4 years

Remember when the police were granted qualified immunity after bursting into a kid’s birthday party while chasing an unarmed man, shot at the family’s non-threatening dog and missed, then fired at the dog again and hit a child who was prone on the ground the whole time?

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

2 years

I’m not doing the “Kink at Pride” or discourse this year. There’s a lot of scary shit going on, the conversation about the LGBTQ+ (especially the T) has gotten awful genocidey, and we got bigger shit to worry about than some guy fully dressed wearing a pup hood on a float.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

1 year

Worse. A lawyer used ChatGPT to research cases. He cited those cases after doubting whether or not they were real, then when opposing counsel said “those cases don’t exist” and he was ordered to file them, he had ChatGPT create the cases.

Nyanbinary: Jamie Sharp

@ThatOneTuxmew

1 year

@BoozyBadger If I understand correctly, someone used ChatGPT to write court responses and got caught?

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

2 years

“The TSA agent saw my furry stuff!” Walking into court I put my phone, unlocked, through security without thinking. Meaning the Deputy got an eyeful of whatever I had on the screen. I had just opened Twitter. And the first tweet on my timeline was a masturbating wolf man.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

7 years

From my email inbox! "Can you write with less curse words? We want to copy and paste your articles into our employee/staff manual but there are too many curse words." I view them as copy protection. Hire me to write your employee guide if you want the DRM removed.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

3 years

DO NOT ANSWER THIS QUESTION YOU ABSOLUTE DIPSHITS.

Jeremy Kaplowitz

@jeremysmiles

3 years

hey twitter 👋 prompt time! what's a felony level crime you've committed that you've never been caught for?

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

2 years

In the five years they had control of his money before he became an adult, his mom and stepdad spent more or less all of the money he’d earned on themselves, saying he didn’t really need it because he had “enjoyed playing in front of the cameras.”

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

5 years

A first DUI generally costs, once you take into account insurance increases, lost wages for court time, fines, towing, license loss cost, etc., between $2,000-$4,000. An Uber is like $20-$40. “Cabs cost money” is not an excuse to drive drunk this New Year’s Eve.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

2 years

It was bad enough Chaplin actually gave him money to help him out when he sued his Mom, which didn’t really end up getting him anywhere near what he had actually earned.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

5 years

....did...did the quarantine just get a fursona?

US Consumer Product Safety Commission

@USCPSC

5 years

#SocialDistancing

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

4 years

Free Speech is coming up again? Cool, cool. The First Amendment means the government, absent certain conditions, cannot act to restrict your right to be an absolute dipshit. It does not mean you have the right to be an absolute dipshit and face no consequences or shaming.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

4 years

This all adds up to "We do not have to grant you the accommodation you request if doing so would make is unsafe for others in a manner that poses a real threat" which, considering guidance from the CDC and orders stating masks are required, tends to support "No mask, no shop." /7

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

4 years

Noticed a couple folks following me who have been complaining about losing commissions due to their problematic stances on Twitter about current events, so let me be clear: I fully support the idea of defunding bigots, no matter how well drawn their horse dicks are.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

2 years

Welcome to America. You can't end a pregnancy because every potential life is precious and a blessing from God. Also, we can't restrict firearm access in any meaningful way because those same lives, once no longer in potentia, are less important than owning an AR-15.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

5 years

"If we test for HIV at a con it sends the message people are HAVING SEX THERE!" My folks, It is no longer 1998. It is 2019. Nobody actually cares that you have sex, so long as you do it safely, consensually, and legally.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

4 years

If you are focusing on any part of this other than “a police officer knowingly shot and killed an unarmed child who was complying with commands at the moment he was shot” then I don’t know what to tell you other than I’d like you to stay over there, away from me.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

2 years

Every queer couple is composed of one publicly reserved person and one absolute chaos gremlin that everyone else thinks is a saint.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

5 years

@MeaghanMooney1 @Target Meaghan, If you need them today, why is it a problem they’ll only hold the items until the end of the day? I think we may need to redefine “need” here.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

2 years

His father had managed his funds pretty well, but five years before Coogan was old enough to dispense with a parent managing his accounts his father died in a car accident, leaving his mother and stepfather in control of his money.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

5 years

Furry: “Hewwo Daddy!” Me: “Oh, you want me to be your Daddy?” Furry: “OH YIS!” Me: “Okay. Weed the garden, mow the lawn, and then you’re gonna help me haul some branches to the dump.” Furry: “Wha..what?” Me: “MY KIDS DO CHORES.”

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

4 years

This is voter suppression. He is proposing voter suppression. If you put law enforcement at the polls, you will discourage people who may have a reason to fear law enforcement from voting.

Andrew Lawrence

@ndrew_lawrence

4 years

Trump says that on election day he's going to send law enforcement to polling locations

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

2 years

If Roe is overturned, and I cannot state this strongly enough, nothing is off the table. Nothing.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

2 years

Sorry, but one of my favorite responses so far was literally "Well he's an actor who was known for playing a weird character so naturally..." My good folks, the whole point of the Addams Family is how you really shouldn't be making assumptions based on appearances.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

4 years

If you stop listening to a person the second they stop screaming, all you’re doing is making it clear they have to scream to be heard.

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Col. Boozy Badger (boozybadger.bsky.social)

@BoozyBadger

1 year

Me in the attorneys lounge reading this tweet: “…Tree law.” Another attorney looking up from his paper: “Tree law?” Attorney in the bathroom: “TREE LAW?” Attorney popping up from behind the water cooler: “TREE LAW!” All of us: “Tree law. Tree law. TREE LAW. TREE LAW!”

Create Alliances for Better and Prepare for Worse.

@SamAsIAm

1 year

A friend who is a municipal arborist just called to tell me about a guy who cut down 32 big mature trees on his neighbor's NJ property to get a better view of NYC. He hired a guy who hired another guy. Cut them down and left the debris there. The fine per tree is $1000 so the 1/

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