Bizarre Lazar @BizarreLazar Twitter profile | Pikagi

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Bizarre Lazar

@BizarreLazar

53,423

Followers

14,565

Following

2,155

Media

23,186

Statuses

Internet Guy | Rubber of elbows | Eater of sandwiches | Starter of slow claps

Az

Joined March 2009

Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.

Pinned Tweet

@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

9 months

This his how much things should cost: Iced tea: $1 Sandwich: $6 Soup: $4 Shirt: $8 Pants: $15 Jacket: $25 Genuine leather jacket: $100 Car: $15,000 Truck: $22,000 House: $180,000 Doctors visit: $0 Imaging: $0 Specialist: $0 ER visit: $0 Surgery: $0 Long term hospital stay: $0

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

2 years

I’ve been on Twitter since 2009. I’m just now realizing the home button is a bird house.

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

2 years

This is the only advertisement this window installer ever needs to use.

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

3 years

You don’t have a staffing problem. You have a management problem.

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

4 years

Experiment Update - Well it finally happened. Took longer than expected. 12 hour suspension and had to delete the offending tweet. Here’s the screenshots @suspendthepres . Will post to the account when suspension is lifted.

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

2 years

The Hunger Games but you take the the 24 richest billionaires in the country and make them compete. Only the winner gets to remain a billionaire. The rest have to donate anything over a billion to education, housing, and healthcare.

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

3 years

If you put back the $9.34 chicken to grab the $8.87 pack then you don’t need to worry about Biden’s new capital gains taxes.

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

2 years

Pretty sure Elon just spent $3B in order to ban the account of that kid who tracks his flights.

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

2 years

Now when I press the home button I want to see a little bird fly into it and I will accept nothing less.

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

2 years

Everyday. For 13 years. I’ve tapped that button. Not once did I question it. This changes everything and also nothing at all.

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

11 months

Burn everything

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

4 years

The perfect Venn diagram does exist

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

3 years

Clarification: not my text. Just posted as a prime example of what exactly is wrong with our current employment practices. This person is a legend.

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

9 months

@OGBeefJones @fuckyouiquit Hondas and Toyotas a fucking rad man you’re missing out

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

9 months

Good on all of you for not pointing out the typo and instead focused mainly on the leather jacket. Glad to see the internet has evolved and somehow stayed exactly the same.

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

2 years

I don’t have an Onlyfans so here a link to donate to the American Red Cross

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Disaster Donations

www.redcross.org

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

2 years

The games consist of things average people could easily win. Like how to budget a household of 4 on $40k a year, what’s the average cost of a loaf of bread, fastest to make a bed, how much laundry detergent to use when you have 3oz of soap to last you 8 days till payday.

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

2 years

@FranckieBurns That’s coming from the door behind the camera. Don’t use that company.

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

3 years

Tiffany Trump announced her engagement today. Trump looking up which one Tiffany is:

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

3 years

@AyJaySimon Watching the power trip rug being pulled out from under someone is my new hobby

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

9 months

Universal healthcare is such an awful, inefficient, ineffective, and expensive disaster that every single country who has implemented it has continued to use it and it’s citizens regularly applaud it. Sounds absolutely abysmal.

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

2 years

How religious restrictions work: I keep Kosher therefore I can’t have bacon. How religious restrictions don’t work: I keep Kosher therefore no one can have bacon. This tweet is about abortion.

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

3 years

Strongest firefighter on the planet grabs suicide jumper right out of the air 🤯

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

3 years

Me: can I have 5 boxes of decongestant please? Store Clerk: sorry, limit is two and I’ll need some ID Me: can I have 500 boxes of ammo and 5 rifles please? Gun Show Clerk: HELL YEAH YOU CAN BROTHER NO QUESTIONS ASKED

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

1 year

Rick and Morty should make the first episode of next season a full hour montage of every character who was voiced by Roiland getting beaten to a pulp by crowds of women. No explanation. No context. Run credits. And scene.

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

3 years

Just give the hedge funds a $600 check, they’ll be fine.

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

4 years

@DanRather @JimAvilaABC @Acosta

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

4 years

Pretty amazing how there was only election fraud in states Trump lost and not in any of the ones he won. Truly incredible.

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

2 years

And just like that Greta Thunberg got 33 gas guzzlers and one hot air balloon off the streets

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

4 years

@Moncitou @SuspendThePres Yep. And thank you. I’m going to keep it going after the suspension lifts.

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

4 years

Experiment Update - Suspension #2 . This time for abuse and harassment. Forced deletion and 12 hour suspension. The Presidents tweet still stands. Will post to @SuspendThePres when suspension lifts.

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

9 months

My biggest takeaway here is that most Americans have no idea how doctors or hospitals get paid in most of the world and that everywhere else a sandwich is already under $6 and we’re getting royally fucked on both healthcare and sandwiches in America.

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

3 years

@kylegriffin1 Damn Democrats trying to make sure kids don't go hungry. The nerve of these people.

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

1 year

Mad props to the person who made this faux look real. The hair, the eyes, it’s almost as if you can see it once had a soul. They did a pretty good job on the fake lion head too.

@WorldAnimalNews

World Animal News

@WorldAnimalNews

1 year

A disturbing video of #KylieJenner wearing a #lion head at the #Schiaparelli ’s fashion show. Although they stated it is faux, how could they possibly think this is fashion? This sends the wrong message & fuels not only the exotic fur trade, but #trophyhunting ! 💔 Video by Vogue

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

4 years

Wow this thing really grew some legs. I don’t think Twitter is right or wrong in how they are approaching the subject. I think it’s a very difficult space to navigate. On one hand you have to set community standards and on the other hand you have accounts of such importance...

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

9 months

@sp00pygabbagho @fuckyouiquit They are expensive and people do that anyway

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

9 months

Henry Kissinger outliving Matthew Perry is a crime against humanity

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

3 years

This kid is 7. Holy crap.

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

3 years

Nailed it. Gonna try the 5000 piece next.

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

1 year

100+ years later it’s crazy to see that the titanic is still killing rich people

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

9 months

Do you think healthcare workers work for free in the rest of the world where all of those costs are $0 to the patient?

@JTS610

❤️Cat Mom

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@BizarreLazar Do you think healthcare workers should work for free?

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

9 months

@EastCelt @fuckyouiquit No one. It’s $14 here.

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

3 years

After 6 weeks, $140 in supplies, and daily watering, we’re only three to four weeks away from enjoying a single 25¢ vegetable from our garden.

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

2 years

🫠

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

4 years

I’m just gonna leave this here for everyone to enjoy

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

3 years

By age 35 you should: 1. Have at least $16 in savings 2. Feel stuck at a job you mostly don’t like 3. Question how good a friend you are on the daily 4. Exercise 3 times per year 5. Eat more fiber

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

3 years

Side note: The new capital gains tax will only be assessed on individuals whose AGI is more than $1M a year, or 0.15% of all Americans.

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Bizarre Lazar

6 years

This is how you unfriended someone in the 80s

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Bizarre Lazar

2 years

Gee, maybe it’s the guns?

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

2 years

Americans celebrating our freedom

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Bizarre Lazar

3 years

@atrupar a hypocrite who has been vaccinated who has also been spewing antivaxxer shit would say exactly this

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

1 year

Got another brand for the right to cancel for celebrating pride month

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

1 year

Name his next album

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

9 months

@richsibling Where do you live that a sandwich is under $6‽ Here even a fast food garbage sandwich from subway is $11.

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

4 years

...historically speaking that to block or otherwise suspend would be an even bigger problem. It’s a real screwed both ways situation. @Jack not deleting or suspending I personally feel is doing us a favor. It’s an important conversation to have.

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

12 years

Old people may not know how to use a cell phone, but they sure can drive like they're on one.

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

1 year

The United States is 46th in life expectancy. You know what the other 45 above us all have in common? Universal access to affordable quality healthcare. Meanwhile 40% of Americans now put off going to the doctor because they can't afford it. Countless more ration their medicine.

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

2 years

Why wasn’t it LinkedIn? Like for fucks sakes it should have been LinkedIn.

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

2 years

@zursch Dammit I actually need to clean my aquarium thanks for the reminder

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Bizarre Lazar

4 years

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

2 years

“I suffered and so should everyone else!” is a really weird platform to campaign on

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Bizarre Lazar

3 years

He…what now?

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

3 years

The odds of being murdered by babies are low but never zero

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

2 years

If a weapon is so scary that a bunch of trained law enforcement don't want to approach someone with it maybe I shouldn't be able to buy it at a Bass Pro

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Bizarre Lazar

2 years

Covid, monkeypox, extreme heat, water resources dwindling…it’s almost as if the planet is sick of our shit

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

2 years

Seems to be an awful lot of white people mad at a lady they’ve never heard of, playing a flute they didn’t know existed, that belonged to a guy they once heard of but couldn’t for the life of them tell you who he was.

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

9 months

@rawfishandbeer If I know the person screen-printing it with their own art hell I’d pay $20/$25 but like at Kohls? Nah. $8 is being generous.

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

4 years

Twitter, Reddit, Twitch, Shopify, Snapchat, and Discord have all permanently banned Trump. Facebook even has a temporary ban. He’s really running out of 5th Avenues.

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

1 year

Employed

@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

2 years

Try to be whatever the opposite of a Tucker Carlson is

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@BizarreLazar

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1 year

“I’d like to thank god for healing my ankle this week” The team of doctors and healthcare professionals who gave Mahomes 4 hours of treatment every day:

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

2 years

If the adult happy meal doesn’t come with a Xanax and a shot of whiskey then McDonald’s doesn’t understand what makes adults happy

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

4 years

Yo @TomArnold , @Alyssa_Milano you guys see this?

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

4 years

The craziest part of the Hunter Biden laptop scandal is how Jared and Ivanka made $350 million dollars over the last four years.

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

2 years

Just witnessed a mall smoothie stand manager pour the excess smoothie from a customers order into a spare cup and tap an employee on the shoulder. He nodded in appreciation, stepped out of view of the cameras and gulped it down. This is solidarity and I’m here for it.

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

3 years

Gonna open a gym every January that turns into a taco bar two weeks later

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Bizarre Lazar

2 years

Starting a campaign to fund mailing kazoos to parents who voted against reproductive rights

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

3 years

@Richie__Ryan Like all abusive relationships

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Bizarre Lazar

2 years

Why is it that when I’m at work I’m sucking down water like it’s part of my job but at home I’ll stay thirsty because the kitchen is ten feet away?

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

2 years

DeSantis when a hurricane hits

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Bizarre Lazar

3 years

YOU DONT SAY?

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Bizarre Lazar

3 years

@mmpadellan Great. Pipe cleaners have now become self aware. Thanks a lot climate change.

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

9 months

This is the only good thing Ai has ever done

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

4 years

Remember, we’re also firing Bill Barr, Jared, Ivanka, DeVos, Azar, Chad Wolf, and Mike “conversion therapy” Pence. In one fell swoop we just ousted the most insane and corrupt criminal organization to ever dig its claws into the United States of America.

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

2 years

@Gooddoghowell Love the assumption. No, the photo was sent to me elsewhere. Didn’t see the original till after this blew up. Welcome to how the internet actually works. Thanks for being a dick though.

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

1 year

These guys are the second level goons you have to defeat in the 1990 classic Michael Jackson’s Moonwalker for the Sega Genesis

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

11 months

@SomeSingerDrew File that under “here’s some more reading for you dear internet user”

@LampySue

Lampy Sue

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

3 years

Side side note: This has gotten nearly 800k impressions and earned me 5 followers. Twitter is as broken as our tax system 😂

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

4 years

Starting today Walmart’s nationwide will require masks. The next few days are gonna yield some of the best Karen videos we’ve ever seen. Brace yourself.

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

4 years

Rudy Giuliani used to be a great attorney. !⃝ 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗰𝗹𝗮𝗶𝗺 𝗶𝘀 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗽𝘂𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝘆 𝗼𝗳𝗳𝗶𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗰𝗲𝘀

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

2 years

I guess all landmark Supreme Court cases are now meaningless which means the Supreme Court is meaningless. If they can say “just kidding!” on rights enshrined by precedent then what’s the actual fucking point of their existence? They just completely delegitimized themselves.

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

13 years

I'd link my twitter to my Facebook but I don't want the people who actually know me to actually "know" me.

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Bizarre Lazar

2 years

Can’t wait for my two year old iPhone to start slowing down immediately now that Apple is launching their new one.

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Bizarre Lazar

1 year

I’m not sure exactly which machine we’re supposed to rage against but right now I feel we should all be raging against our failed health insurance machine

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

3 years

It only took a year of the kids being home from school for the NRA to go bankrupt.

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Bizarre Lazar

3 years

The fact that we saw him murder a man on camera and still weren’t 100% certain of the verdict speaks volumes.

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Bizarre Lazar

1 year

My 10 year old just discovered inflation

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Bizarre Lazar

9 months

@michae1becker @fuckyouiquit Double what it is today or something

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

2 years

Outgoing Az Gov. Doug Ducey is spending $95M on a 10 mile stretch of border wall using 3000 dilapidated shipping containers. He's spending $32k per container. While the whole project is absurd, the numbers also don't make sense. In salvage condition, these things cost under $3k.

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@BizarreLazar

Bizarre Lazar

3 years

I’m 36. I grew up in Arizona. I didn’t learn about Juneteenth until two years ago but please tell me about how systematic racism doesn’t exist anymore in America.

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