Half-Man, Half-Dictionary | Now followed by both
@robertmarawa
&
@komphelasteve
| I hope you understand | PARODY | (recommended to read tweets in Steve's voice)
Am I surprised Kaizer Chiefs and Stuart Baxter parted ways?
Look Rob, if the baby is always crying even after you have tried many babysitters, maybe it’s time to consider that the problem could be within the family.
I hope you understand...🤷🏾♂️
@robertmarawa
Will I replace Molefi Ntseki at Bafana Bafana?
Look Rob, the cheese can entice but a mouse seeing other mice disappear gets curious. One mouse is an error, 2 is a coincidence, 3 is deliberate. But too many mice means a hungry cat is nearby.
I hope you understand😉
@robertmarawa
Am I surprised Rulani Mokwena left Sundowns?
Look Rob, a bad dancer always blames the music. When the music changes, he blames the dancefloor. But a good dancer can dance to any music and most importantly knows when to leave the stage.
I hope you understand😉
@robertmarawa
Am I surprised Kaizer Chiefs have terminated Gavin Hunt’s contract?
Look Rob, if the children are always crying even when you have changed the babysitters, maybe it’s time to consider that the problem could be within the family.
I hope you understand...🤷🏾♂️
@robertmarawa
Am I surprised by the Kaizer Chiefs result?
Look Rob, the quality of the babysitter is not as important as the actions of the family. If we only change babysitters & never look within the family, the children at home will always be crying.
I hope you understand😉
@robertmarawa
Am I surprised that Robert Marawa started
#MarawaTV
?
Look Rob, I am not surprised. No matter the conditions of the jungle, a lion can not be expected to start eating grass.
I hope you understand 😉
#MarawaMoments
#MarawaTV
Congratulations
@robertmarawa
How did Sundowns beat Kaizer Chiefs so convincingly?
You see Rob, the landlord can change the tenants many times but never fix the house. When the tenant that once lived in the house visits, he still knows where the roof is leaking.
I hope you understand😉
@robertmarawa
Am I surprised Kaizer Chiefs has another new coach?
Look Rob, if changing babysitters doesn’t stop the baby crying, maybe the problem is in the family. But if we ask family members to babysit, let it be for the weekend, not long term.
I hope you understand😉
@robertmarawa
Am I surprised Rhulani Mokwena accepted the Chippa job so soon after Norman Mapeza left?
You see Rob, when you get into a relationship with a widow, the first question you must ask her is "What killed your previous four husbands?"
I hope you understand🤔
@robertmarawa
Am I surprised Gavin Hunt accepted the Chippa United job?
You see Rob, before you get into a relationship with a widow, there are two important questions one must ask:
One: How many husbands have you had?
Two: What killed them all?
I hope you understand😉
@robertmarawa
Am I surprised Chiefs fired Solinas?
Look Rob, if a man invites you to braai at his house, ask to SEE the charcoal 1st. Dont be content just to FEEL it or HEAR of it. He may give you a bag with blocks & expect you to braai with ice-cubes
I hope you understand🤷🏾♂️
@robertmarawa
Am I surprised Kaizer Chiefs lost 4-0?
Look Rob, if you want to cook something, you buy good tomatoes, good rice & good chicken. If you don’t have chicken, you can eat more rice. But don't expect the rice to play the role of the chicken.
I hope you understand🤝
@robertmarawa
Am I surprised that Chiefs lost to Pirates in the
#SowetoDerby
?
Look Rob, those who can’t dance will say there is a problem with the DJ. But when the DJ is changed, they still say there is a problem with the dancefloor.
I hope you understand 🤷🏾♂️
@robertmarawa
Am I surprised that they lost?
Look Rob, when your car is old, with a malfunctioning engine and is not road-worthy, changing the driver makes little difference if you do not also make changes to the car?
I hope you understand 😉
@robertmarawa
#ShellHelixUltraCup
Am I disappointed to have lost to my old club
@KaizerChiefs
?
Look Rob, the tenant who once lived in the house is the one who knows best where the roof is leaking. But sometimes, the landlord fixes the roof and the leak is hard to find.
I hope you understand😔
@robertmarawa
Mamelodi Sundowns wishes Steve Komphela success with his new job
Mamelodi Sundowns today expressed its best wishes to Steve Komphela on his appointment as the Head Coach of Swallows FC.
The Chairman of Mamelodi Sundowns, Tlhopie Motsepe said: "Steve Komphela served Mamelodi
Am I surprised Kaizer Chiefs lost to TS Galaxy in the
#NedbankCup2019Final
?
Look Rob, a baker bakes bread & a butcher chops meat. What I’m saying is that you cannot blame the baker if the boss asks the butcher to bake the bread.
I hope you understand 😉
@robertmarawa
How did we come back from 2 goals down tonight?
Look Rob, even if the landlord doesn’t renew the lease, the tenant who once lived in the house will still know exactly where the roof is leaking.
I hope you understand 😉
@robertmarawa
Do I have any advice for Arthur Zwane?
Look Rob, firstly Congratulations Arthur🍾
But coaching a PSL team is like wearing a short blanket. You put it on the knees, the head can be exposed. You put it on the head, the knees can be exposed.
I hope you understand🤝
@robertmarawa
Am I surprised
@robertmarawa
secured a
@Bundesliga_EN
media rights deal for
#MarawaTV
?
Look Rob, the river has both big & small fish. Small fish jump from the river to the bowl. Big fish jump from the river to the ocean & make the world their oyster.
I hope you understand😉
Happy Birthday
@robertmarawa
🎉
Look Rob, age is like the wind in that we are all in the same stratosphere but on different trajectories.
It's up to each of us to steer our parachute in the right direction because the higher we go, the cooler it becomes.
I hope you understand😉
Am I surprised Seema took the Chippa job?
Look Rob, when a mouse sees other mice enter a hole & disappear, it gets curious. One mouse is a mistake, 2 is a coincidence. But 5 mice in a short space of time.
Maybe, there is a cat in the hole?
I hope you understand😉
@robertmarawa
Thoughts on Patrice Motsepe as new CAF President?
Look Rob, the man in an epitome of sophronization, so the circadian ululation is deserved. African football needs a leader than can halt the ludicrously sepulchral kakistocracy of the past.
I hope you understand🤝
@robertmarawa
Am I worried other teams are signing many new players?
Look Rob, quantity is not a synonym for quality. The trolley may be full, but if the groceries don't possess the right nutrition, the children at home will always be malnourished.
I hope you understand😉
@robertmarawa
Am I surprised Kaizer Chiefs signed Dolly?
Look Rob, eating soup is an easy task when everyone is given a spoon. But if others on the table are asked to eat their soup with a fork, the host must not be surprised when their soup goes cold.
I hope you understand😉
@robertmarawa
Do I have a message for
@robertmarawa
?
Look Rob, age is like water. When it comes to the waves of birthdays ahead, all of us are in the same ocean but in different boats. It's up to each us to steer our ships in the right direction.
I hope you understand😉
Happy birthday Rob🤝
Why did I resign from Bloemfontein Celtic?
Look Rob, as a football coach, you’re a co-pilot with management. When the clouds clear & you see the plane is going to crash, you can wait to perish. Or you can quickly take a parachute yourself.
I hope you understand🤷🏾♂️
@robertmarawa
How did Sundowns manage to beat Kaizer Chiefs?
You see Rob, the landlord must renovate the house, not the tenants. When the tenant that once lived in the house visits, he always knows where the roof is leaking.
I hope you understand😉
@robertmarawa
Am I happy to rejoin Sundowns?
Look Rob, a man can stop dancing because the stage is full, but it doesn't mean he is finished dancing. When the stage clears and the music plays again, he'll resume his dance, even if the DJ is different.
I hope you understand🤝
@robertmarawa
Am I surprised Eric Tinkler accepted the Chippa United job so fast?
You see Rob, the very first question that a man must ask to a widow before he goes on a date with her is: “What killed your previous husband?”
I hope you understand 😉
@robertmarawa
Am I surprised Gavin Hunt is on suspension at Chippa?
Look Rob, the plane is still flying to its destination & should arrive on time. But when one parachute is missing, the passengers should be made aware they may not arrive with the pilot.
I hope you understand😉
@robertmarawa
Am I surprised Kaizer Chiefs are doing well in the CAF Champions League?
Look Rob, when the house a man is building looks beautiful, people will rightfully praise the painters. But they must not forget the builders who laid the foundations.
I hope you understand🤝
@robertmarawa
Am I surprised that Kaizer Chiefs were knocked out by a lower-division team?
Look Rob, you can rotate, replace & rename babysitters, nannies & au pairs. But if you never look within the family, the children at home will always be crying.
I hope you understand😉
@robertmarawa
Am I surprised Chiefs lost another
#SowetoDerby
to Pirates?
Look Rob, no matter how many times the President reshuffles the cabinet, proper service delivery for the people will happen when the systems change, not just personnel.
I hope you understand 😉
@robertmarawa
#TKO2018
Am I surprised Muhsin Ertugral only lasted 5 games at Maritzburg?
Look Rob, when a doctor visits a patient, he must know the full extent of the ailment beforehand because he may arrive with just a bandage, yet the patient needs surgery.
I hope you understand 😉
@robertmarawa
Am I surprised fans will be allowed to watch Bafana Bafana?
Look Rob, remember the new doctor has been doing surgery where old doctors put bandages. The patient is not fully recovered but is now out of the ICU, so visitors are now allowed.
I hope you understand😉
@robertmarawa
Am I surprised
#MSW
is back on air?
Look Rob, food for the body and the body for food. But no matter the conditions of the jungle, a lion can never be expected to start eating grass.
I hope you understand😉
@robertmarawa
Will I replace Norman Mapeza as Chippa United coach?
Look Rob, when a mouse sees other mice go into a hole and not return, it gets suspicious. One mouse is a mistake, two is a coincidence. But many mice means there is a cat in the hole.
I hope you understand😉
@robertmarawa
Do the Royal AM - Celtic rumours surprise me?
Look Rob, generally I dont like to talk about the neighbours, but the smoke is hard to ignore. I can tell you that the person who burns down their own house knows there is a buyer for the ashes.
I hope you understand😉
@robertmarawa
Am I surprised by the
#NdoroGate
& Ajax Cape Town issue?
Look Rob, there is no goat that gets sold with a smile on its face. But no matter how upset it becomes, the frown on its face will not stop it from being taken to the market.
I hope you understand 🤷🏾♂️
@robertmarawa
Am I surprised Chippa let go of Gavin Hunt?
Look Rob, when a mouse sees many mice enter a room & disappear, it must be suspicious. 1 mouse is an error, 2 is a coincidence. But many mice in a short space of time means a hungry cat is nearby.
I hope you understand😉
@robertmarawa
Am I surprised Kaizer Chiefs finished 10th?
Look Rob, when a doctor recommends surgery on a patient, he has seen something the family can't see. A bandage can be cheap today, but if surgery is needed, the same bandage is expensive tomorrow.
I hope you understand😉
@robertmarawa
Am I surprised Kaizer Chiefs lost again?
Look Rob, the man who can't dance will say there is a problem with the music. When the DJ changes the music to suit his preference, he will then say there is a problem with the dancefloor.
I hope you understand😉
@robertmarawa
Will I replace Jose Mourinho as
@ManUtd
manager?
Look Rob, the difference between a donkey, a horse and a zebra is very small. One may say they can all perform the same, as long as the rider knows his job.
I hope you understand...🤠
@robertmarawa
Any advice for Daine Klate about the Chippa job?
Look Rob, a plane can take-off with one pilot, but land with a different one. Along the way, it can fly with no pilot. The real question is how many parachutes will arrive at the destination.
I hope you understand😉
@robertmarawa
Am I jealous that Kaizer Chiefs are top of the league at this point?
Look Rob, the one that is on top of the tree at
#Christmas
can also come down with the decorations.
I hope you understand 😉
#MerryChristmas
Rob
@robertmarawa
Will I be joining Mamelodi Sundowns soon?
Look Rob, the boat is not on land, but is on the sea. Equally, the bait is on the hook but I can tell you that there is nothing so far. I am also not on the boat, I am on the beach watching.
I hope you understand😉
@robertmarawa
Am I surprised Wits were sold to Tshakuma?
Look Rob, I don’t like to talk about what the neighbors do, but I can’t ignore the smoke. I can tell you that the man who burns down his house knows there is a buyer for the ashes.
I hope you understand 🤷🏾♂️
@robertmarawa
Am I surprised by last night’s
#AbsaPrem
results?
Look Rob, if you ask a man to bake a cake without the right ingredients, you’ll get amagwinya. Even if your baker flies in from foreign lands, he still needs the right ingredients.
I hope you understand 🤷🏾♂️
@robertmarawa
Am I surprised Kaizer Chiefs are out of every competition this season?
Look Rob, the man who can't dance will say there's a problem with the music. When the DJ changes the music, he will then say there is a problem with the dance floor.
I hope you understand😉
@robertmarawa
Am I surprised Orlando Pirates lost to TS Galaxy?
Look Rob, the shop where a chef buys ingredients is less important than the the recipe. A good meal cannot be credited to the shop, in the same way a bad meal cannot be blamed on the shop.
I hope you understand😉
@robertmarawa
Do I consider the last 3 years a success?
Look Rob, a man needs the right tools to do a good job. A spoon is used to eat soup. So when a man is asked to eat soup with a fork, the task is harder and will take longer to complete.
I hope you understand 🤷🏾♂️
@robertmarawa
Am I surprised Chiefs reached the CAFCL final?
Look Rob, if a monkey has a toothache, let it go. If you cure it, the seed on your maize farm suffers. When the harvest is ready, the farm owner must remember the worker who chased the monkeys.
I hope you understand🤝
@robertmarawa
Am I surprised Chiefs let go of another coach Middendorp?
Look Rob, when your car is 50-years old with an engine problem & has also just shown you that it struggles to go the whole distance, do you change the driver do you change the car?
I hope you understand😉
@robertmarawa
You are not too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.
There is no timetable to start your degree, your family, business or whatever you want. Dont let others’ opinions of you hold you back.
It’s your life. Make it great.
#MondayMotivaton
I hope you understand 😉
Why did I join an
#AbsaPrem
club that was almost relegated?
Look Rob, they were almost buried but that does not mean they are dead. They may be sick but they’re not in ICU. In hospital? Yes. But the nurses are now allowing them visitors.
I hope you understand 😉
@robertmarawa
Am I excited to re-join Golden Arrows?
Look, Rob, to clean the steps, you start sweeping at the top, not at the bottom. A new broom may sweep clean, but the old broom knows all the corners. What I am saying is - there is no place like home.
I hope you understand😉
@robertmarawa
Will I replace Patricia de Lille as Cape Town mayor?
Look Rob, I always say when one mouse sees another mouse disappear, that mouse should know that there probably is a hungry cat nearby.
I hope you understand 🤷🏾♂️
@robertmarawa
Am I surprised Seema has been suspended at Chippa?
Look Rob, the difference between cheddar & gouda is very huge but the mouse neither knows nor cares. The mouse can beat the trap and get the cheese, but the hungry cat is always nearby.
I hope you understand😉
@robertmarawa
Am I surprised that
@Bloem_Celtic
have started well?
Look Rob, a spoon is used to eat soup. And when you don’t have a spoon, a teaspoon can work. Before, I was asked to eat soup with a fork and the task was harder, if not impossible.
I hope you understand 😉
@robertmarawa
Am I surprised Kaizer Chiefs lost a 4th straight game?
Look Rob, concealing a wound is not the same as treating a wound. The man who puts a bandage where surgery is required may be able to move, but that does not mean his leg is functional.
I hope you understand😉
@robertmarawa
Do I have words for
#RobertMarawa
following his dismissal by Supersport?
Look Rob, some things may leave us speechless, but its those same things that leave us speechless that will soon turn us into storytellers.
I hope you understand😉
@robertmarawa
I received a text around 18H50 tonight informing me that I should not bother coming to Studio for Thursday Night Live with Marawa Show on
@SuperSportTV
... I would like to thank all those who have supported my journey as a Sportscaster & those I've worked with at Supersport! ✌🏼✌🏼
Am I surprised Daine Klate has left Chippa?
Look Rob, the mouse that sees other mice disappear must become suspicious. One mouse is an error, two mice is a coincidence. But many mice in a short time means there is a hungry cat nearby.
I hope you understand😉
@robertmarawa
Am I surprised that
@robertmarawa
reached 1 million followers this week?
Look Rob, great leaders are usually identified by their great following. The one who thinks he is a leader, but has nobody following, is just gong for a walk.
I hope you understand..😉
Am I surprised Chippa hired Morgan Mammilla?
Look Rob, the mouse can go back for the cheese - we call that an expectation. But for a mouse to go back into the trap - we call that an aberration. No matter how good the cheese.
I hope you understand😉
@robertmarawa
Are some PSL clubs buying too many players?
Look Rob, quantity is not always equivalent to quality. The man who goes fishing and comes home with one lobster can be happier than the man who goes fishing & comes home with nine pilchards.
I hope you understand😉
@robertmarawa
Am I surprised Kaizer Chiefs are struggling?
Look Rob, a restaurant owner can change the chef repeatedly yet the food stays the same. At some point one has to look deep within himself, introspect & ask if the problem is with the ingredients
I hope you understand😉
@robertmarawa
2010: Divorced.
2014: Back surgery.
2017: Back surgery.
2017: Back surgery.
2018: Wins PGA Tour - 1st victory in 5 years. Whatever the challenges, don’t stop believing in your abilities. The hallmark of champions is COMEBACKABILITY!
I hope you understand 😉
#TuesdayMotivation
Do I want to know how old
@robertmarawa
is turning today?
Look Rob, age is just a number, a statistic so to speak. And as they say, statistics are like a bikini - what they reveal is interesting, but what they hide is crucial.
I hope you understand😉
Happy birthday Rob!🎂🎉🕺🏾
Congratulations Rob!🎉
Tigers are on the move today but only one can be caught. That none of them have wings is a blessing but how one of them can fly is a mystery. All I’m saying is: every cat is a tiger on its own path.
I hope you (& the listeners) understand😉
@robertmarawa
A new chapter. A new challenge.
An honour to join a beast of a radio station in
@947
From Wednesday
#MSW
will embark on a historic journey on four unique platforms...
@947
@VumaFM
@RISEfm943
&
@SowetanLIVE
Let's do Radio!!! 🤝🏾🥂🤝🏾
How does it feel to be turning 51?
Look Rob, a man’s age is just a number, one can say just a statistic. And as you know, statistics are like a bikini - what they reveal is interesting. But what they conceal is vital.
I hope you understand 😉
@robertmarawa
#MondayMotivation
What did I say during my break-away session at the
#mensconference19
?
Look Rob, the main take-away was that when you see a man raising his voice at home, know that he started lowering it elsewhere.
I hope you (and all attendees) understand?
@robertmarawa
#MensConference
Good luck tonight
@BafanaBafana
!!
#BafanaKaofela
Look, boys, the entire nation is fully behind you today to push you forward toward the dream, not to push you over the cliff..
I hope you understand 😉
What do I think of SAFA giving Hugo Broos the
#BafanaBafanaCoach
job?
Look Rob, when the process is respected, none of us gets consumed. The man who applies expensive cologne to a dirty body before showering upsets the order of nature.
I hope you understand😉
@robertmarawa
Am I surprised Stuart Baxter returned to Kaizer Chiefs?
Look Rob, the man who ignores the wound today should not be surprised when the wound ignores the medicine tomorrow. Some wounds require surgery, even where bandages worked yesterday.
I hope you understand🤝
@robertmarawa
Am I disappointed we are not top of the
#absaprem
table at Christmas?
Look Rob, the one who tops the tree at Christmas can also come down with the decorations.
I hope you understand 😉
Merry Christmas Rob
@robertmarawa
Look Prof
@ThuliMadonsela3
- a dog can also eat cows’ meat, but a cow will never eat dogs’ meat.
But if the dog and the cow together meet a hyena, the dog fights the hyena to protect the cow even if the dog looks & hunts like the hyena.
I hope you understand 🤷🏾♂️
@robertmarawa
A cow eats grass and gets fat but if a dog eats grass, it will die. Never compare yourself with others. Run your race. What works for one person may be that which will kill you. Focus on the gifts and talents God gave you...(Sent by a friend)
#Blessings
for the week ahead
Will I also resign now that
#ZumaResigns
?
You see Rob, resigning with no mandate is like nascent preponderance narrowly redeemed by peregrine delectation and serves only to obfuscate oligarchies.
I hope you understand.. 🤷🏾♂️
@robertmarawa
“My biggest wish is that black people rise and understand their worth. Our story must be a story of unity and pride, not one of prejudice. Only through education will we be enlightened...” - Steve Komphela
#FamousFreshFridays
#FreshBreakfast
Greetings
@Masandawana
!!! 🙌🏾
Contrary to popular opinion, dictionaries will not be needed. I will avoid complex words & just stick to multifarious exhibitions of verbosity & perissology.
No odoriferousness.
No somnambulisms.
I hope you understand😉
@robertmarawa
#welcomesteve
Masandawana let's welcome
@komphelasteve
to the home of the Champions!🏆
He will join the Brazilians' technical team as a First Team Senior Coach reporting to the Joint Head Coaches.
#Sundowns
#WelcomeSteve
Why did I join an
#AbsaPrem
club that was almost relegated?
You see Rob, although I found my patient in hospital, all that was needed was a bandage, not surgery. Some patients require surgery, but the nurses keep putting on a bandage.
I hope you understand 🤐
@robertmarawa
Am I surprised Kaizer Chiefs have lost 11 games despite improving their stats?
Look Rob, statistics are like a bikini - people often use them to show off. What they reveal is interesting and enticing, but what they hide is important.
I hope you understand😉
@robertmarawa
Am I surprised Sundowns have caught up to Kaizer Chiefs at the top of the
#AbsaPrem
table?
Look Rob, I have said before when they were top in December. The one who tops the tree at Christmas can also come down with the decorations.
I hope you understand 😉
@robertmarawa
What are my thoughts on what is happening to Bloemfontein Celtic players?
Look Rob, the prodigal son who only appears to collect the inheritance will also have to cover the cost of the funeral. They must also take care of the orphans.
I hope you understand😔
@robertmarawa
Will I replace Allister Coetzee as Springboks coach?
Look Rob, when a mouse sees another mouse disappear, that mouse must know that there is probably a hungry cat nearby.
I hope you understand 🤷🏾♂️
@robertmarawa
Life can get difficult. We may want to give up. But failure comes when we lose hope & stop trying.
You may lose it all (friends, money & status) but with hope, hardwork & belief in your abilities, you will bounce back to the top.
I hope you understand😉
#MondayMotivation
Am I surprised the SABC let Robert Marawa go so abruptly?
You see Rob, in this journey of life, there are certain acts that leave one speechless. But what leaves one speechless today will turn the same person into a storyteller tomorrow.
I hope you understand🤝
@robertmarawa
Am I surprised Bafana were held by Libya in their
#AFCON2019Q
?
Look Rob, the difference between a horse & a zebra is very huge. Even if you buy a jacket & tell your kids to put it on the zebra, you will not change its stripes.
I hope you understand 🤷🏾♂️
@robertmarawa
Am I surprised Kaizer Chiefs lost again?
Look Rob, the sun that melts the wax is the same as the sun that hardens the clay. What I'm saying is sometimes it's not about the resources you have, but how and where you use them.
I hope you understand😉
@robertmarawa
Is this my son on
#TNL
?
Look Rob, cooking & painting are similar because there are many colors & flavors - it’s how you combine them that sets you apart. You can see both but both can not be eaten or explained.
I hope you understand 😉
@robertmarawa
#SteveKhompelaChallenge
Should teams be worried by our flying start to the
#AbsaPrem
season?
Look Rob, God created the tiger - but He didn’t give it wings. For that, people must be grateful. What I’m saying is this - every cat is a tiger in its own path.
I hope you understand 🤷🏾♂️
@robertmarawa
Once you have a goal & a vision of what you want, don’t stop dreaming, hoping & believing.
Work hard no matter if other says you look too small or are unqualified.
If you don’t believe that you can do it, then you’ve already lost half the battle.
#MondayMotivation
#Believe