Kiwi. Writer. Ardent admirer of J. Rendall, Racehorses and Golf Courses. SPQR Small Punts Quality Returns. Pull out that wheelie bin, I love the way you trudge
@eljonesuk
@LoveIsland
I’m a Mawg -Middle Aged White Guy.
Mawg’s are like Milf’s, except we’re heavier, hairier and far less attractive in our underwear. We also don’t have countless young women watching online content about us thinking:
‘Oh yeah, pull out that wheelie bin. I love the way you trudge’
@PaulDock93
😂😂 That’s so true. My son and I constantly try and slip each other this crappy fork at dinner times. I’m gonna hold on to it and make sure he finds it in front of him at his wedding dinner.
@PGATOUR
The shortest miss of the year couldnt happen to a more deserving recipient. Spot the bit of green abuse at the end. Old habits are hard to break eh Sergio?
@WestwoodLee
@PhilMickelson
As a man rapidly closing in on my fifties, it’s not so much about the length of the shaft these days, it’s about the stiffness. 😢
@afneil
I lived in Dubai from 2002 to 2013. Every year between December and April there was 2-3 days where there was a massive downpour and then it would hardly rain again for the rest of the year. The locals said it had always been this way. This is not a new event. It’s called weather.
@kimwild02
Agreed. Having been married for over twenty years, when a couple can hardly bring themselves to look at each other when they’re taking, it’s over. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, but this relationship is toast. They’ll probably stay together ‘for the kids’ but after that, see ya.
@HangBlaa
As a blow to Ireland in from the Antipodes, I find to be one of those things incredibly unique to the culture of this county.
No one has such an intimate relationship with death, or does death quite like the Irish.
It’s class to be fair.
@mattdowling8080
@Daniel_Rapaport
Couldn’t agree more. This whole Tiger love-in is nauseating. I dread if he comes back on Tour and we have to go back to be forced watch every shot he plays with commentators fawning all over him at the expense of others in the field who are actually in contention.
@IrvineWelsh
I do not recommend reading the thread of the original tweet. It only ends up leaving you with a headache. The language used is so bloody vague and confusing.
@philhaigh_
At this stage Ronnie is like that workmate who moans about work everyday and never shuts up about how much he wants to leave, and you just wish he would.
@Lana_Richardson
@Tier2RugbyForum
The thing that stood out a mile for me as a lie was the testimony from Jackson that the woman simply started fellating the other defendant the moment he walked in the room. Anyone who knows anything about everyday women (not paid pornstars) wouldn't buy that for a second.
@HWrightComedy
The brilliance of Alan Partridge peaked with the ‘I’m Alan Partridge’ Series 1 and 2 involving the Linton Travel Tavern and the static caravan. Head writers Armando Iannucci and Peter Baynham, left after this series and the concept has been on a gradual decline since.
@Baddiel
David, by taking a shot at Hancock (fair enough the guys a knob) in sneering at the relevance of racing you have failed to consider that racing is one of the biggest sports in the UK by attendance. It’s a huge sport loved by millions of people in the UK. Tone Deaf as hell mate.
@ashleymcallery
@Berminn27
We are living in the most expensive place in Europe to get a drink by a absolute bloody mile. It’s a complete piss take. And someone needs to call bullshit on this.
@daraobriain
As much as I get your tweet, and it was a marvellous performance from Rick Astley. There will be only be one Morrissey. And before anyone climbs on about his politics, etc. I don’t care. I grew up listening to Morrissey and The Smiths. They remain eternal musical God’s for me.
@maxcouch
Can’t stand these comparison type tweets in horse racing. She beats what she beats, handsomely and every single time. Let’s just enjoy her for the champion she is eh?
@StateOfLinkedIn
His wife and kids pretend to be asleep and use various other avoidance techniques in order to keep interactions with this sad clown to an absolute minimum. P.S. His wife is fufilling other needs elsewhere.
@PaulTesori
@PebbleBeachGolf
I am loving watching this tournament. It seems to be the best test of precision, guile, and putting ability. Oh and it looks spectacular on the TV
@PlanetRugby
This is Rugby the way it was meant to be played. Not the dire, robotic drudgery we’re subjected to these days - full of one off the ruck advances, technicalities, and box kicking each other to death, which in turn bores the audiences to death in the process.
@pearlylondon
Yip. When it all boils down to it marriage is you and your partner saying ‘What?’ and swearing under your breath about how the other one is deaf, throughout your heavily mortgaged house.
@MichaelBreed
No. Call me a bluff old traditionalist but I love the heritage of the PGA and European tours.
I love the 72 hole, cut format. I love the players who have stayed loyal to both tours and who have said they are happy financially and compete to be a part of the history of the game.
@robpalkwriter
Jesus, that headlines a bit much for my brain to try and decipher on a Sunday morning. I’ll just have a poached egg on toast and think it through.
Speaking as a Kiwi living in Ireland, something that is deeply unique about the Irish as a culture is their deep and unabiding love of horses and horse racing. Putting access to it in a place where only the wealthy can afford it ignores so many, especially the elderly. Sad news.
I am thrilled to say that I have a short story included in this esteemed publication. It’s been such a boost to my confidence to have one of my pieces selected.
I love writing and want to continue my learning and development.
Next is the novel, which I’m slowly chipping away at.
The early ticket sales for ‘our Earthly Rewards’ event on Fri 10 May in Glasgow are our best ever. Check out details of the event & new book on our website
#Glasgow
@colmoregan
As an expat kiwi living in Ireland I can safely say that Savage Eye was the best Irish comedy/satire show I ever saw. It was absolutely brilliant and is still great to watch.
@JamieTonight
@Natasia1andonly
Great writing Jaimie. My wife and I howl with laughter at all the misspoken gems. Personal favourites S2-EP1.
‘My dad will come in and grab you around sirshine.’
‘Who is he, thinking he’s life’s bread’
‘Oh Galileo’
‘Enough is as much’
I love the father too. He is fantastic.
@a_toots
Perhaps over everything else, this is the one thing that communication technology has delivered to us in the last twenty years; a deep and profound understanding of the depth and breadth of complete and utter head cases there are breathing oxygen and walking around on the planet.
G’day golf fans. No PGA preview from me with
@StarSports_Bet
I’m on me holidays in Minorca.
Three things I’ve learnt so far:
Spain is class.
We are being totally screwed on food and booze prices in Ireland.
Estrella beer should be plumbed into the water supply everywhere.
@Patmust41362939
@JoeBrolly1993
Agreed. As a blow in to Ireland, I used to be very impressed by amateur status that sat as the foundation stone in the culture of the GAA, because we lost that in NZ rugby with the advent of professionalism and it has since completely decimated our local rugby clubs. Careful now.
@DigitalSneeze
Love FOC. New Zealand’s best ever contribution to globally recognised great comedy. Taika Waiti was also involved in this and things have gone quite well for him just quietly.
The only other New Zealander on these guys scale was John Clarke.
@Playing_Dad
@ArfMeasures
By the age of Thirty five you should have at least two occassions a day when you walk into a room and dont know what you went in there for.
@FergusCraig
I was recently thinking why the hell no one sat me down when I was a lad and said:
‘Oh and by the way, when you get near fifty anything you drink in the day will be visited upon you three fold in the night and you’ll develop a deep sense of nameless rage. Anyway, all the best.’