Benedict Townsend 🐀 @BenedictTown Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

@Linchails

@Zarathustraez

@beafandraw

@CherishGemi

@IntractCampaign

@Lexandkeishabe1

@Anthrostoic

@unesennayaya

@Seslesyj11I

@safeinmotion

@dom_trainer

@bear_gravy

@3NTUsyNvXA5YeAm

@HimalayaXchange

@sakutaro_39cb

@flowfanof

@dspksu

@tata123mimi

@HeeralalNigam

@univrsall

@rambo_sa

@ileana_renta

@qubegame

@AntonPepper

@abdulma00276992

@bobby_brinks

@explosion_pvp

@cannn129

@SceneryCHN

@1920kartallari

@acidrevo

@FundacionMChen

@yoonho0465

@sevbeyeter

@FinlandNATO2023

@prymusbeats

Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

2 months

Caesar Salad stuns in birthday photo

Pop Base

@PopBase

2 months

Caesar Salad turns 100.

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

6 months

Pete Davidson has been spotted stepping out with The Unknown from the Glasgow Willy Wonka experience

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

7 months

Wordle, NYT connections, daily mini crossword… modern people yearn for the riddles of the sphinx

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

7 years

As a proud Londoner I would invite you to absolutely go fuck yourself for attempting to capitalise on our tragedy for your shitty policies

Donald J. Trump

@realDonaldTrump

7 years

We need to be smart, vigilant and tough. We need the courts to give us back our rights. We need the Travel Ban as an extra level of safety!

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

9 months

Do you want kids to read books or not who gives a damn what the name of the shelf is

Lazar Radic

@laz_radic

9 months

The end of the world.

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

6 months

[Halloween 2024] Them: what the hell are you dressed as Me: I’m The Unknown, the AI created character from the Glasgow Willy Wonka event that went viral seven months ago

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

1 year

Breaking Bad only became genuinely popular near the end of its run of multiple seasons. That’s literally impossible for a show to do now

Film Updates

@FilmUpdates

1 year

‘Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies’ has been canceled at Paramount+ and will reportedly be removed from the streaming service in the coming days.

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

9 months

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

8 months

The real heroes are the people with 15 subscribers making YouTube videos about how to fix insanely specific technical issues, that are like 1 minute long with no padding. Thank you Keith you helped me fix my boiler

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

5 years

16 year old: what if we improved the planet somewhat Grown adults: I must attack this child

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

5 months

Mike’s FILTHY DIRTY fries with LOADED sauce and CHEEKY sriracha with a NAUGHTY unusable wooden spork 😜

Alex Micu

@axelk

5 months

When you see this container at a food market you know you're gonna be paying £12 for chips with cheese on them

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

9 months

It’s so funny that it sounded like the most made-up excuse in history and it’s actually turned out to be true. What a legend, she has my vote

sᴜᴘᴇʀ ᴛᴠ

@superTV247

9 months

The BBC have released the full video clip of their presenter ‘giving the middle finger’ to prove that she was just counting.

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

9 months

[guy with incredibly unclear politics] It’s Christmas EVE not Christmas STEVE

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

2 months

NEW: President Biden refers to ‘members’ of Tame Impala in latest gaffe

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

9 months

Apple’s next ad campaign is just this playing on a loop

Pop Crave

@PopCrave

9 months

Anya Taylor-Joy attempting a selfie on fan’s Android.

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

8 months

Forget hiding your feelings, in 2024 you need to be awooga-maxing, you need to be saying hamana-hamana-hamana, you need to be making your eyes roll like a slot machine and land on hearts, you need to be holding up a small wooden sign that says Yowza

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

5 months

Brits talking about the UK: 😔😡☔️👿 Brits talking about UK plug sockets (best in the world): 🤩🫡🇬🇧🔥👏

Nikita 🇺🇸🦅

@nykyt0sha

5 months

can we please just pick one and all agree to use it?

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

4 months

Probably the best community note of all time

Lepanto Institute

@LepantoInst

10 months

@Emma506131772 Really? The pope is a dictator who has the authority to exercise unlimited power without due process?

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

3 months

Suzanne Collins rocks. keeps to herself, pops up every so often to drop a new book. the books are good and have genuine things to say, she isn't transphobic, etc

The Associated Press

@AP

3 months

EXCLUSIVE: A new ‘Hunger Games’ novel is coming. ‘Sunrise on the Reaping’ begins 24 years before Suzanne Collins' original book.

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

9 months

Dude is the king of random, completely unenforceable laws

Politics UK

@PolitlcsUK

9 months

🚨 BREAKING: Rishi Sunak is considering banning the use of social media by under-16s [ @business ]

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

7 months

People already calling the Suffragette Line the Suffy G line and… that is it, isn’t it. That’s what we’re all gonna call it.

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

8 months

After my wife and I visited LA for the time I fired up GTA V and showed her all the places we had visited

becca ☆

@girrlpuppy

9 months

my boyfriend is visiting LA for the first time

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

8 months

Claudia: so… who have you voted for? They flip their boards over: - Charlotte - charlote - Charrlote - sharlot - cheurlüt - sharlont #thetraitors

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

7 months

It’s happening

Sky News

@SkyNews

7 months

BREAKING: A monkey is on the loose after escaping Highlands zoo 🐒

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

9 months

Fascinated by the person who clicks ‘I don’t have a TV licence’ on BBC iPlayer and then presumably just closes the app

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

2 months

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times ❌ It was times ✅

yasmin

@ycsm1n

2 months

why use many word when few word do trick?

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

7 months

Steven Bartlett, moments before blowing up a Rebel base on Endor

Great British Getty Images

@shitbritishpics

7 months

Steven Bartlett attends the Virgin Media British Academy Television Awards 2022 at The Royal Festival Hall (2022)

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

2 months

The impact this reply had. ‘Likely place for X to be’ is now burned into my lexicon

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

1 year

Not saying this extremely random Grease prequel would have been the next big thing but why even make it if you’re gonna scorch it from the earth in five minutes

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

4 months

Rizzle Kicks returning is the herald of something… a turning point in Britain… perhaps now we can begin to heal

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

5 months

They need more budget to send random pairs of celebrities to Italy

Andrew McBride

@andrewmcb

5 months

The BBC have cancelled Motherland The BBC can f*** right off

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

8 months

I fear we may be over-mining the precious natural resource that is Murder On The Dance floor

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

1 year

Genuinely how can rail fares be going up. In what universe is that even possible? How much more up can they go??

BBC News (UK)

@BBCNews

1 year

Rail fares are going up but you can still find ways to make journeys cheaper.

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

4 months

Interesting patterns of things that worked perfectly fine before they were turned into money-squeezing exercises suddenly falling apart and needing even more money to survive (see: water, rail, education…. everything?)

Politics UK

@PolitlcsUK

4 months

🚨 NEW: Ex-Ministers have warned UK Universities will go bust without raising tuition fees or funding [ @Guardian ]

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

9 months

The fact we got a Bond film in 2006 and 2008 but NOT 2007, the only year with “007” in it for a hundred years…. That doesn’t sit right with me

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

2 months

@hansmollman yeah but to make out like it never happened and that they were nothing???

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

3 years

Robert Pattinson is Batman and Kristen Stewart is up for an Oscar. Christopher Nolan was right:

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

5 months

New York Times: we want people all over the world to play our games :) Also NYT: today’s Connections category is US State Capital’s mascots’ wives

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

5 years

@jamescharles Let's do it baby I know the law

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

7 months

Tina Fey: a downside to fame is that you can’t give authentic opinions, even as joke, because people online will jump down your throat and feign outrage People online: we are outraged and seek to jump down Tina Fey’s throat

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

8 months

A Simpsons joke that makes me laugh out loud every time I see it

Simpsons Daily Glavins

@simpsons_DG

8 months

"Oh, this is the worst party ever." "I don't know. Remember that New Year's Eve at Lenny's? He didn't even have a clock."

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

4 months

“I will earn your trust” says Rishi Sunak, a mere two years into being Prime Minister

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

4 years

netflix crime documentaries these days are like

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

8 months

What do you mean ‘save money’ this is a SERVICE. Not everything has to maximise profit at any cost

Guardian news

@guardiannews

8 months

Royal Mail could save £650m by switching to three-day-a week service, says Ofcom

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

8 months

Finally, some Hustleposting

Grace

@graceyldn

8 months

Planted the idea of getting a Nando’s in my dad’s head earlier today so he’s now suggested it and said he’ll pay cos he wants it

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

9 months

In a world of carnage, I like that Timpsons are there, just quietly doing the right thing

James Timpson

@JamesTCobbler

9 months

Off to meet and hopefully recruit some prisoners today at HMP Stoke Heath.

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

4 years

happy birthday and a thousand apologies to Dan Howell

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

4 months

Back in the day smelling toast only meant one thing, but now it doesn’t. Because of stroke.

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

7 years

Name a more iconic Dua, I’ll wait.

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

4 years

why did my umbrella just tell me to ‘stan Jimin’

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

1 year

I was having dinner with Dua Lipa and she just checked her phone and said SHIT SHIT I FORGOT and ran out of the restaurant anyone know what that’s about

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

2 years

@Scholf_A_Loaf when things are great

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

3 years

Eurovision is a magical event when all the nations of Europe put aside their differences and join together to make one English man feel terrible #Eurovision

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

5 years

Me: who should I get on the show? Not Dan Howell we can’t get him. Everyone: DAN HOWELL Me:

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

1 year

You’re laughing? You’re aboard the toxic gossip train chugging down the tracks of misinformation and you’re laughing?

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

3 years

19/05/21

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

8 months

[guy with incredibly unclear politics] It’s New Years EVE not New Years STEVE

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

1 month

Paris 2024: we will slowly reveal boats that show- London 2012: ONE HUNDRED MARY POPPINS

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

2 years

Season 5 is just gonna be Asa Butterfield playing all the characters in prosthetics, Eddie Murphy style

One Take 🎬

@OneTakeNews

2 years

Emma Mackey confirms she won’t return for a fifth season of ‘SEX EDUCATION’. "I've said goodbye to Maeve." (via )

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

4 months

would make sense that’s she’s smaller than the notes, as she’s a penny

Penny Mordaunt

@PennyMordaunt

4 months

Met with @bankofengland today to view the first banknotes with HM The King’s portrait. The new notes will be introduced gradually to replace those that are worn.

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

8 months

@ImBillRay I’m losing my mind that people think this is real. They make joke videos! I follow them! This is a joke! It’s obviously a joke!

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

9 months

Other movies: spend millions on de-ageing technology to make an actor look younger. Result: Demented Horrors. Oppenheimer: ruffle up Cillian Murphy’s hair a bit to make him look younger. Result: Totally Works.

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

1 year

Wow this blew up 😳 stream Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies ladies one month ago when it still existed

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

3 months

Seeing this tweet before the photos loaded was extremely confusing

Niall Harbison

@NiallHarbison

3 months

On the 22nd of September last year I found Cindy Crawford on the streets. She was morbidly obese and about to die. She weighed 46kg or just under 100lbs. Her transformation today is seriously hard to believe… (1/7) 🧵

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

2 months

my 28 year old daughter Katniss saw these first frames of Katy Perry's new video and turned to me, tears in her eyes, and said "looks like another win for the witches, they'll have to try harder to burn us", and I, usually tough papa bear, couldn't help but shed a tear too

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

8 months

[delivering tearful eulogy] he mothered… fearlessly. He served cunt, without remorse. It’s giving sweet prince, in his goodnight era

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

5 years

I took just a DNA Test t u r n s o u t i'm 100% Erika Costell (I look at myself)

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

3 years

I remember when I was a kid playing Rollercoaster Tycoon and me and brother discovered by accident that you could kill people on the coasters. We’d been playing it for years and never realised. A beautiful bonding moment. We killed thousands

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

1 year

My wife did a Taylor Swift joke at our wedding last year and put it on TikTok and it went viral. This girl took the joke and did it at her own wedding, put the video on TikTok (without crediting) and Taylor saw it and liked it lol

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

9 months

when I grow up I want to be a Lindt Master Chocolatier

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

4 years

to pretend 1D don’t have bangers is, quite frankly, tomfoolery

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

4 years

👏 NORMALISE 👏 THE 👏 MOON 👏 HITTING 👏 YOUR 👏 EYE 👏 LIKE 👏 A 👏 BIG 👏 PIZZA 👏 PIE

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

8 months

The camera shaking

Alan White

@aljwhite

8 months

This is probably the greatest entrance in the history of home improvement television

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

9 years

#HowToSpotAFeminist Look in a mirror, if you don't see one then you're stuck in the past buddy

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

2 years

why were they not just doing this anyway

BBC Breaking News

@BBCBreaking

2 years

Police forces in England and Wales asked to vet all staff in wake of David Carrick rape case, to root out anyone who may be unfit to serve

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

4 years

Vote for Biden. I don’t have a joke here, this isn’t a joke, nothing about this situation is funny, just vote for Biden.

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

1 year

Can’t believe ‘Colleen Ballinger ukulele apology video’ is a sentence that actually exists now

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

9 months

guy who replaced an unelected prime minister, making him probably the most unelected prime minister we've ever had, has decided he has a mandate to upend democracy btw👇

UK Prime Minister

@10DowningStreet

9 months

We are a reasonable country, but our patience has now run out. Our Parliament is sovereign, and it should be able to make decisions that cannot be undone in our courts. That’s what this emergency legislation delivers.

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

1 year

Famous men can commit actual crimes and people will defend them Famous women will be mildly annoying one time and people will destroy them

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

1 year

I don’t know how to explain it but I honestly think of these as entirely different people

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

5 years

might fuck around and compare thee to a summer’s day

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

5 months

Being able to do a second serve is like, one of the most famous things about tennis

E! News

@enews

5 months

The only time we’ll allow multiple serves in tennis. 😏 #Zendaya #Challengers

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

4 months

yeah I’ll probably go for the paperback

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

5 months

My phone just autocorrected Tis to It’s - sorry I didn’t realise whimsy was illegal now

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

1 year

WARNING TO TOURISTS: I took my family to the Tower of London today (we were very excited) and they told me the Crown Jewels ‘weren’t there today’ (seems unlikely??)

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

9 months

slapping The Secret History out of my kid’s hands because they got it from the Bad Shelf

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

4 years

watching the votes roll in and still surprised, as always, that even a single person would vote for Donald Trump

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

5 months

the true millennial / gen z divide is whether you trust a phone to handle a large task, because you fear it'll refresh and lose everything

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@soulohlove

5 months

booking flights on a phone is crazy. that is a laptop activity

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

16 days

I still think this pose specifically is one of the funniest things anyone has ever done and I thank her for that

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

5 years

me, when Spotify reveals that my top songs of the year are the same five songs I listen to on repeat at all times

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

4 years

You can't have a Jeremy Corbyn, a Piers Morgan, and a Piers Corbyn, it's too much to keep track of

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

4 years

people who hate maths watching sesame street

Salwan Georges

@salwangeorges

4 years

Election challengers shout “Stop the count” as poll workers count absentee ballots in #Detroit , Michigan in the 2020 general election @washingtonpost #Election2020

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

4 years

did a tweet about jimin a week ago and I don’t think my mentions will ever recover

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

5 years

I guess I’m biased when it comes to protecting the environment because I live there

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@BenedictTown

3 years

every time :/

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

2 years

@NotABigJerk When I first had American McDonalds I felt like I’d tasted raw uranium

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

5 years

Fellas 👏 Don't forget 👏 to take a girl swimming on the first date 😂🤣👌 With climate change rapidly increasing global flooding levels you need to know the survival skills of your potential life partner and whether further training is needed

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

5 months

It happened. The dream. A 14 hour flight and I have two empty seats next to me.

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Benedict Townsend 🐀

@BenedictTown

3 years

damn it turns out they made that jeff bezos guy from the bo burnham song into a real guy??

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