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@Balderdashofaf

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24. banner @doraimisuto . 11th most pretentious person on ao3. one piece / ZSZ / I love Zoro *so much* / eruri. minors get blocked ( please be 18+ )

They/them
Joined March 2022
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Pinned Tweet
@Balderdashofaf
noen
2 months
Hello my friends and ty for 3k you truly are the sweetest people> as a thanks I wanted to have an ego moment and play around hosting a community writing version of a DTIYS event w a giveaway at the end- the details in the slides and thread below > love you all take this 🫴🌷 mwak
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One of the only times we get a peak at the guys room and it’s the most homoerotic scene in all of one piece
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
2 years
Had to do it
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
6 months
College au where Sanji works as a grocery delivery person to make some spending money on the side, and keeps delivering the same horrible order of like a bag of rice and chicken breasts and 24 pack of beer to the same apartment building until he finally can’t stand it anymore
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
1 month
I think Zoro is perfect for Sanji bc Sanji will never believe he’s deserving of love and Zoro’s love is *so* sneaky. Like if someone was gushing all over Sanji he’d get so uncomfortable bc it’s so unfamiliar and ‘undeserving’ in his eyes that he’d run first chance or be like
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
2 months
THATS HIM YOUR HONOR
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
2 months
Zosan…
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
2 months
Love the idea that Zoro mumbles in his sleep. Can imagine him talking to Sanji in his dreams, saying all the stupid fluffy romantic shit he’d never say when he’s awake, and Sanji overhears him one day and thinks he’s talking to someone else, about someone else
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
10 months
During the chaos of cleaning Sanji picks up Zoro’s swords, and pauses, because he realizes he’s touching Zoro’s swords. But Zoro’s right there, and he isn’t saying anything, he isn’t even watching Sanji, and it just makes his heart bleed because he realizes Zoro trusts him
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Happy pride!
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
10 months
Sanji w his ‘I swear he’s straight’ roommate Zoro
@WrittenByHanna
I Could’ve Just Sat On In With Massa
10 months
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Sanji’s internal thoughts are so much louder than his dialogue sometimes
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
2 years
Sanji is most definitely ‘would you love me as a worm’ partner that actually cries when zoro says no
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
2 months
Saw this text post and had no choice… Zosan 🥹
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
10 months
Zoro and Sanji go to a hotel on an island for their first time. It’s impulsive, and started from a fight, and the next morning room service goes in and finds 1. A broken headboard, like snapped in half somehow. 2. Blood?? 3. Absolutely shredded pillows, feathers everywhere
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
11 months
Zoro buys sanji a little radio snail when he notices that cooking in silence makes the cook chew on his cigarettes, and Sanji falls in love with exploring every islands unique music, often joined by Brook and luffy, dancing while he bakes and cooks.
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
11 months
Zoro always plopping down to nap next to Sanji, sensing when he gets up to start on one of his other chores and crawling after him just to plop down in the next place Sanji goes to to continue his nap, always in the same room
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
6 months
Sanji accepts it immediately and doesn’t even bother with the chicken and rice, finding some other high protein low carb option, shoving his way into Zoro’s apartment with some bullshit about ‘expanding his horizons’ and that begins their first dinner date of many to come.
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
2 months
Zoro, who had been casually seeing Sanji before the time skip, who loses his eye and looks in the mirror and wonders if the cook will lose interest in him, or if his friends will be able to meet his eye again, fear and self hatred building while he’s alone in that castle…
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
10 months
Zoro acting all macho man alpha dog until Sanji fucking puts him in his place *once* and then he’s lil pillow princess just wants Sanji yelling at him and in charge 24/7
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
1 month
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@galacticidiots
fran
1 month
Not fake dating or fake hating but fake nonchalance. When they’re trying so hard to pretend they don’t care, when caring is all they do, when it keeps them up at night. When they care so much it makes them silly enough to try to hide it. As if they could.
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
1 month
I like to think Zoro can drink as much Sake/rum as he wants and sure he gets drunk but it’s a functioning drunk like he can still fight. But the first time he tries Soju?? It’s over, he’s flat on his face after two bottles and gets super bubbly and sweet and blacks out completely
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i'd die for you i won't let you
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@nowheregirlc_
crisིྀ 🌷 (tired)
1 year
i'd die for you i won't let you
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
10 months
Zoro trying a conditioning tactic to try and get Sanji to quit smoking. Kissing him every time he lights up. Instead it just conditions Sanji to light up when he wants a kiss and Zoro to want a kiss when Sanji lights up.
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
6 months
Get out of my HEAAAD
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
6 months
Pondering…
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
10 months
Zoro being a little bit like a cat when he gets sick, disappears to quiet dark isolated places to get better or die, whichever happens. Sanji picks up on it and can tell when zoros getting sick and suddenly all of his places are stocked w foods and warm drinks to help him heal
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A picture of me, every 10 minutes or so
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Zoro fucking Sanji and they’re fighting and insulting each other the entire time but right towards the end Zoro completely 180’s and starts whispering nothing but praise into Sanji’s ears until he sees stars
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Zoro giving Sanji head through a glory hole and they don’t realize it’s each other but it’s the best head Sanji’s ever got in his life, then they go to a diff bar on a diff island and Sanji tries again and it’s the same damn mouth on him and he begs to know who they are
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@unhingedA03
Unhinged AO3 tags🪦🕊️
1 year
don't fucking look at my boner when we fight
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
2 years
Do you think Zoro circles Sanji like a cat staring at him meaningfully when he wants attention
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
2 months
Zoro sitting down at a table to have a drink and looking up and seeing death sitting across from him, this figure that’s been a consistent companion at the edges of his vision for years, suddenly in front of him and starting, not awe inspiring and frightening like
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I’m sorry but there’s no way Sanji doesn’t have an arm around his waist and buried in his back pocket
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Sanji laying booze next to a sleeping Zoro’s head like a science experiment but instead of waking up to the smell Zoro just grabs it in his sleep and cuddles with it
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HE LIVES (survived the kiln 🔥)
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Sanji core
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*punches air
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@holyaches
ً
1 year
and he will put his knife to your throat, and you will love him, even a breath away from death. that, my dear, is ruination.
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
6 months
He decides to buy him some other ingredients that go well with this guys rice and chicken, because he knows damn well this is one of those guys who thinks seasoning adds too many calories. So instead of dropping it at the mail area like usual he does a to door delivery
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“I will never lose again”
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Zosan
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
10 months
Zoro loves running his hand on the side of Sanji’s head to move his bangs back, feeling his hair, seeing his whole face. It feels like a sight just for him. He does it all the time, but only when he’s the only one who’ll see
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
9 months
I think Zoro would love museums, because it’s somewhere you’re kind of *supposed* to get lost and lots of work shows the art of combat and training. He can see cool old swords. Sanji, a museum hater because he maximizes all of his time into producing, finds he likes to go w zoro
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
6 months
Bartender Sanji, new developments going up across the street and it’s like August heat so they have the doors open and fans everywhere while they work which is why Sanji notices this buff ass construction worker walking by in shorts that hide nothing
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Zoro carrying these around for Sanji
@wildtiktokss
Wild TikToks
1 year
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
6 months
And knocks on the apartment door, ofc it opens to a shirtless guy who sits at his eye level but still feels hulking bc of how wide his chest and shoulders are, and Sanji nearly melts on the spot but also goes and gets mad x6 because how *dare* this guy not take proper care
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
6 months
Shitting himself. Sanji, similar situation on the other side of the door yells ‘what the fuck’ and then literally bolts like runs for his life to get to his bike and get out of dodge. But then the next week when the order comes in w a big tip and an extra for a bottle of wine
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
2 years
I just wanna know what he was thinking here. Like what’s going on. This is clearly not a restaurant
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
6 months
Now sit down and shut up while I cook. You’ve gotta learn this shit.’ And Zoro’s like terrified and a little turned on bc who is this guy who just shoved his way into his apartment and started insulting him so he lets it happen, watches Sanji cook but doesn’t pay attention.
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
2 years
Are you telling me this is what Sanji sees when their fights switch gears 🥵
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
6 months
Of his gift of a body. Zoro looks at him all confused and Sanji, not wanting to admit why he does this but he does, gives him a cocky look and tells him to step aside. That he was going to show him how to eat more than plain ass chicken and rice. To his surprise Zoro moves aside
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
6 months
‘I didn’t pay attention at all during that’ and ofc Sanji’s furious, livid, and Zoro leans in and is like ‘bc I couldn’t keep my eyes off you long enough to watch what you were doing’ and then he pushes Sanji out the door and is like ‘see you next week’ and slams it shut bc he’s
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
7 months
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@sulky80715248
ᯓ★
7 months
how do u guys flirt with ppl?? i accidentally told this man to kill himself:/
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Like the way Zoro didn’t move. This was his ‘oh my god it’s happening’ moment
@sanjiluvbot
andi 🍋 ceo of sanji
1 year
zoro gay panicking. lives were changed
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
6 months
Ofc it ends up being the best meal he’s ever eaten, and he finds the cook’s banter amusing as hell, and honestly he’s hot and Zoro kinda likes getting put in his place so as Sanji’s leaving he feels it out, sees the way he lingers a bit and decides to shoot his shot with some
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
2 years
Sanji standing on the deck watching birds catch fish Zoro: what are you looking at Cook? Sanji: I just think it’s sweet. They go and dive into the ocean, catching food just to bring back to the birds they love Zoro: *dives into the ocean without a word* Sanji: thank god it worked
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
6 months
And lets him in, probably more on autopilot from surprise than anything, and Sanji drops off the groceries, starting to unload them in the bare kitchen. Zoro finally catches up and is like ‘I didn’t order any of this shit who tf are you’ and Sanji’s like ‘you order the same shit
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
11 months
Zoro pressing a kiss against the pulse in Sanji’s wrists when he gets back to Wano like somehow he *just knows*
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
6 months
Every fucking week. It’s not healthy or normal, I couldn’t live knowing someone so miserable is out there’ and Zoro’s like ‘well fuck you, I’m not paying you for any of this fancy shit you got. Didn’t ask for it.’ And Sanji’s like ‘you can pay me w a couple of those beers,
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
6 months
zsz keeping their relationship secret not cause they’re embarrassed or unsure but bc they’re terrified of the other being used as collateral against them bc they know it’s the one time they’d be too weak to make the right choice for the crew / they’d each sacrifice for the other
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
2 years
Zosan
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Sure they’re mostly insults, but the case still stands
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
17 days
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@miyuliart
Miyuli
19 days
Character dynamic I like
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
1 month
‘you deserve better’ and push them away. But with Zoro it’s like ‘we fight all the time and he insults me, it’s perfect bc I’ll never find love and he won’t give it to me so he feels safe’ and then the next day it’s ’oh god he feels safe and I’ve found love’ bc Zoro’s love is so
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
2 years
Zoro is absolutely obsessed with Sanji’s hands. Like sanji will be cooking breakfast and Zoro’s just sitting there with his coffee STARING at Sanji’s hands.
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
10 months
I love Sanji yearning. Sanji wanting and aching from afar but to paralyzed, too nervous to say anything, Zoro not externalizing his thoughts enough to give Sanji any idea there’s reciprocation
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
1 month
When he tries to explain it to Zoro bc he’s confused and that confusion makes him angry Zoro’s just looking at him with a cocky ass victorious grin??? And he just wants to kick him and kiss him at the same time?? And Zoro’s just like ‘yeah… get loved on, bitch’
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Zoro doing this and seeing Sanji lookin and he shimmies the pants a bit while staring him down
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So you’re telling me the only reason Zoro didn’t notice it get put in there is cause Sanji reached down his haramaki/pants and grabbed his dick (normal behaviour) while he did it. Sneaky bastard.
@ichigoginchan
alu ✨sanji's lady✨
1 year
IM GOING FERAL
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Zoro would be able to walk into one of these
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
2 months
and kisses him, his mouth hanging open in surprise as the cook pulled back with a confident smile like he *knew* everything Zoro felt. Zoro just sitting there, eye wide, without words while Sanji crosses his arms and goes “not if I marry you first, idiot Moss.”
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
1 month
Covert. Like yes he fights Sanji and insults him but its a feint out to distract him while he also creates an environment that Sanji feels safe and loved in, while he quietly and covertly asserts Sanji’s life and his dreams as vital to the success of the crew, while he brings him
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
2 years
Zoro prefers to fuck Sanji against a wall, or in a position that involves holding him/lifting him, cause it’s better exercise
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
2 years
Do you ever think about how Sanji only goes after people unattainable to him in ways he knows are unattractive because the vulnerability of being wanted terrifies him
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I like to think modern au Sanji has like a twt or something where he cyber bullies the shit out of Zoro by putting all the stupid stuff he says on there. He calls it ‘wisdom from a Marimo’ and it has a very wide cult following.
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The summer months where bugs come in from every crevice of the house and Sanji’s just living in constant fear while Zoro walks around brandishing three fly swatters at all times, ready to protect his boyfriend at any given notice
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
3 months
Sanji singing in the kitchen quietly while he cooks is, in fact, canon and true
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
10 months
Woke up this morning thinking about a zsz prison au. How the guards would put them in separate cells at first until their screaming at each other and antagonizing got so damn annoying they finally would just throw them into the same cell hoping they’d just kill each other.
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
2 years
I think Zoro and sanji started to share a hammock before they get together. Like they lose a bet, or Sanji’s too tired one night to notice he’s in there. Whatever it is, they take to it like an old married couple. But it isn’t even what ends up getting them together in the end.
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
2 years
Sanji has no idea how to flirt with men, so when insulting and fighting Zoro doesn’t seem to work he decides to fully ignore him to see if Zoro will see what he’s missing. Absolutely hopeless, no idea how to flirt.
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Look at my new guy
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
2 months
that would completely unmoor him in a second. Sanji has his heel posed above the swordsman’s face, ready to land, just as Zoro grumbles quietly: “gonna marry you someday, Curly Cook” and it’s like water over fire, Sanji deflating in an instant, staring at him like he’d grown
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
1 month
foods that he can experiment with in his cooking, while he shows him with every fight that he knows Sanji is strong, but tells him that he doesn’t *have* to be, while he seeks Sanji out to nap near, saying silently that his idle time is better spent with Sanji. Before Sanji
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
2 months
So he sits close by when Zoro’s napping. Peels potato’s and carrots and apples out on the deck, anywhere within ear shot. He listens to Zoro mutter and mumble about how attractive this mystery person is, how strong and proud. He sits there growing jealous and irritated
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
1 month
Knows it he’s been tricked into accepting love he swore he could never receive and would never deserve and yeah it makes him angry at Zoro but what the hells new and its too late now and suddenly without any warning Sanji wakes up happy and in love and it makes no sense but
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
2 years
Zoro: nothing happened Sanji: I MEAN SOMETHING CLEARLY HAPPENED I AM FEELING THINGS IVE NEVER FELT BEFORE
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Sanji running his hand along Zoro’s jaw to direct him into a kiss 🤌 zoro gets that moony eyed ‘anything you want look’ and is like magnetized to him afterwards
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They make it to damn easy, man
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Sanji gets cramps in his hands cause of how intricate cooking can be, and how long he spends kneading dough, holding knives, and stirring. Zoro makes it a point to give Sanji’s hands the worship they deserve, massaging out the tension every night while Sanji sits back and smokes
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
2 months
A second head. And Zoro has *no* idea the next day, absolutely floored when Sanji appears with a full breakfast waiting for him after a week of razor blades in his dinner, and just before he can take a drink of his spiked coffee Sanji grabs his face and turns it to the side
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
2 months
Smoking double the amount of cigarettes as usual, and when Zoro’s awake he just doesn’t understand why the cook seems *so* fucking irritated all the time, like literally just the sound of his voice was enough to kick his head in. Their fighting just gets worse and worse
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
2 months
until one day Sanji, the self flagellator that he is, follows Zoro out to the deck to listen to him nap, and hears him start to talk, something about good cooking and fighting that nearly makes Sanji kick him awake in his jealousy, only for Zoro to say the exact and only words
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
2 years
One of Sanji’s biggest fears is losing Zoro forever. Like literally, he turns his back for one second and Zoro wanders into the forest and Sanji never finds him again.
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Sanji always orders the really extra drinks at bars so he can give Zoro the lil sword toothpicks they use
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
2 years
Zoro flexing every time Sanji tries to grab his tit to ruin the squishy effect Sanji’s looking for
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Zoro makes this for Sanji
@messedupfoods
i like food
1 year
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
2 years
Modern au Zoro carries a pocket knife with him everywhere and is like an 80 year old grandpa every time he gets to use it. Like the most simple tasks that someone can do with their hand and he’s like ‘no, I got this.’
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
6 months
As much as I love secret relationship Zoro and Sanji could never bc they would have new ammunition they couldn’t resist.They’d try to hide it for like two days and then they’d be fighting and like Sanji would yell ‘at least I don’t cry during sex!’ And bam the whole crew knows
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
8 months
Nod nod
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@softandworm
worm @ finished preorders!!
2 years
When a male character “looks exactly like his mother”, it’s 9/10 times code for him being gay btw
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I take Zoro getting lost in IKEA and raise you IKEA being the only place in the world that actually makes sense to Zoro bc it’s so nonsensical to someone w direction
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
11 months
Zoro when Sanji’s mad at him
@RespectfulMemes
Respectful Memes
11 months
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@Balderdashofaf
noen
21 days
Zoro and Sanji most definitely play the ball tapping game around the ship for like a month before it’s banned by the rest of the crew. Like Sanji would turn a corner and Zoro would smack him in the nuts, Sanji could hold out a bottle of Sake for Zoro only to get him right back
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