B.C. Drury @BDGarp Twitter profile

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

2 years

Banning books but not guns says a lot about a political party and where it's headed.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

5 years

I know there's a lot going on with the impeachment, but we need an immediate status update on all the immigration camps, their locations, populations, conditions, etc. This is very important. We can walk and chew gum at the same time, but even if we can't, we have to do this.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

3 years

We can be gyros

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@BDGarp

12 years

My girlfriend said I make her feel invisible. I didn’t even know I had a girlfriend.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

14 years

Okay, you got me, I'm not really a gynecologist. What gave it away? Was it the tongue thing?

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@BDGarp

8 years

Being single is mostly just learning how to have a good or bad day, without telling anyone.

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@BDGarp

14 years

If you’re happy and you know it, what the fuck? This is Anger Management, get out.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

12 years

Biden gets criticized for smiling. Obama gets criticized for frowning. Nobody gets criticized for lying. The media: SHAPING OUR WORLD

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

13 years

I’m sitting next to a beautiful woman at a bar so now it’s only a matter of time before nothing happens.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

14 years

We have so much in common. You want to travel . . . I want you to go . . .

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

11 years

I seized the day once. What a fiasco.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

12 years

Don’t be afraid to dream. Reality’s not going anywhere.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

10 years

I hate when my girlfriend accuses me of something I didn’t think she knew about.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

13 years

Son: How will I know when I’ve met the perfect woman? Me: She will usually tell you.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

14 years

I was trying to eplain the whole dynamics of Twitter and Favstar to my grandparents who are now convinced that I'm gay and in prison.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

12 years

People don’t realize how hard it is to write stupid things on a regular basis.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

11 years

I’d like to see the dollar store get a liquor license.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

6 years

RT if your parents are slightly afraid of you

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

6 months

@JoyceWhiteVance He thinks Melania should get over it.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

14 years

Look, I’m not going to lie to you. Wait, that’s not true; that’s a lie, already. Sorry, everything’s a lie I guess. You look pretty though.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

3 years

@RepSwalwell Melania said it interferes with her yard sale

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

9 years

Shout out to anyone who had a horrible day without telling the internet.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

6 years

@nytimes @Carrie45630 Betsy DeVos has no business being in public service. She's destroying the future and young lives. She should join her brother's private army and jump out of planes.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

14 years

I’m just a boy standing in front of a girl, asking her to move so I can see the television.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

4 years

A nation is only as smart as its students on Spring Break.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

11 years

It was the best of times. We just didnt know it.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

11 years

I admire people who have ugly babies and act like everything's okay.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

4 years

@RVAwonk My brother is also in a home care facility. How we treat the sick and elderly in this country is disgraceful.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

10 years

Some people never stop thinking. Be nice to them. They live in hell.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

11 years

Sometimes a guy will say he’s “fine” when in fact he’s actually fine.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

14 years

Me: Hey babe, what say we slam some shooters and bone seven ways to Sunday? Her: This is 911. Is this an emergency? Me: Sorta.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

5 years

@MaddowBlog @MomRovin I'm starting to think the shutdown is intentional.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

4 years

Ask her why she and her kids didn't wear masks at her nomination event

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

5 years

I feel like Amy Klobuchar could be an excellent President. I also feel like she could murder someone with a fork.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

4 years

@petersagal Debussy Claire de lune

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

12 years

There’s plenty of fish in the sea except when you’re fishing, or single.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

13 years

A movie about my life would look a lot like some guy in a parking lot looking for his car.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

13 years

“Normal people” are the most fucked up people you will ever meet.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

10 years

When a woman says "WHAT did you just say?" say something different.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

10 years

Some days take years out of your life.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

3 years

I'm losing all sympathy for scarves.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

4 years

John Lewis lies in State while Bill Barr lies to the House. There couldn't be a greater contrast.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

11 years

Love isn't everything. It's kind of the only thing.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

11 years

We separate the heart and mind so that one of them has a chance to live.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

3 years

@McFaul This was a nightmare and it isn't over

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

10 years

I miss the way we should have been.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

11 years

You smiled once when I said something funny and no one else laughed. I loved you for that.

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@BDGarp

14 years

Dear Catholic Church, the rhythm method is fine for some but what about for us white guys?

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

13 years

Did you ever have sex so good you had to wake up from your dream and tell your cats?

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

12 years

Everyone’s beautiful in their own way except a lot of people.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

13 years

I love comfort food. I’m going to eat a quilt.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

7 months

@kaitlancollins This should be an address to the nation.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

8 years

I admire people who can disagree without being disrespectful.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

10 years

The best memories don't need a photograph.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

10 years

It’s better to be kind and invisible than to be horrible and popular.

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@BDGarp

9 years

I wish there was a vaccination for ignorance.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

11 years

Love is falling for the person most likely to destroy you.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

14 years

I may have a cold so no kissing above the waistline.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

1 year

The severity of storms these days doesn't get enough attention. We're getting numb to the deaths and displacement, unlike mass shootings which gets a lot of attention but no action. We have poor resolve as a group.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

10 years

A big part of being a grownup is just pretending not to be sad.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

10 years

I'm at the age where stupidity is exhausting.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

3 years

I miss the person you pretended to be.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

13 years

Unless you’ve fucked a dead clown in an arboretum, don’t talk to me about “your little drinking problem.”

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

11 years

Fun prank: be a nice person.

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@BDGarp

10 years

The best conversations never really end.

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@BDGarp

14 years

The cats are watching me shower again. Little furry pervs.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

9 years

If you are not part of the solution, you're probably running for President.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

11 years

Do people who run marathons know about not doing that?

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

14 years

So I just listened to some of the Mel Gibson tape and have to admit that I’m feeling pretty fucking good about my mental health.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

4 years

I really miss the country I used to know even though that was mostly an illusion.

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@BDGarp

12 years

If you’re like most people, don’t be.

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@BDGarp

3 years

Jeff Bezos went to space for 11 minutes. I've held a crying baby on a flight for 5 hours. Who's the fucking hero?

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@BDGarp

7 years

One way to stay ahead of the news is just to wake up sad.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

4 years

Wearing a mask while driving may not be necessary, but it seems to bother a lot of people, so that's what I do now.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

10 years

I do the kind of yoga that looks like you’re napping.

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@BDGarp

9 years

I think my therapist is seeing other people.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

13 years

If vaginas could only talk! Oh what a story men would still not listen to.

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@BDGarp

12 years

I want you to feel like you can tell me anything but not actually do that.

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@BDGarp

10 years

If I saw an elephant in the room, that's ALL I'd be talking about.

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@BDGarp

2 years

@BarackObama @KellDA I love these guys

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@BDGarp

11 years

It’s not you, it’s me. Just kidding, it’s entirely you. You’re a fucking nightmare.

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@BDGarp

4 years

Trump has never succeeded at anything without cheating.

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@BDGarp

3 years

This is a wonderful time to live if you've been praying for more anxiety.

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@BDGarp

7 months

These people would be okay with a Trump dictatorship. That's all you need to know. #GOPDebate

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

12 years

My girlfriend said I should open up and tell her what I’m thinking. I said “I wish my dick had a cape.”

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@BDGarp

1 year

Mar-A-Lago should be turned into an immigration welcome center

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

14 years

I once saw a kid take a shit in a geranium at Wal-Mart on a dare. That’s just something you can’t teach, and I owed the little bastard $20.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

13 years

Some idiot just told an elevator joke ON an elevator. It was wrong on so many levels.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

10 years

Panic is just stress with boundary issues.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

10 years

Some days you feel all 24 hours.

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@BDGarp

12 years

I bet my soul mate’s a fucking idiot.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

10 years

Been there, did nothing.

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@BDGarp

14 years

I'm going on three straight days of insomnia. If I don't get any sleep soon I'm pretty sure I'll be awake.

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@BDGarp

9 years

Half the journey is knowing where you're parked.

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@BDGarp

11 years

If you love someone don’t do anything. Just wait, see what happens. Maybe it will go away

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@BDGarp

14 years

We may be an advanced nation but we still have to remind employees to wash their hands when they pee.

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@BDGarp

13 years

My son read my timeline and asked if we had a history of mental illness.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

6 years

@jonfavs We've had other presidents from NY. FDR was from NY... He wasn't an idiot, nor was he a criminal. Orrin Hatch is a hack, a senior citizen grifter who should be put out to pasture.

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

5 years

@Acyn Maybe they read the transcript?

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B.C. Drury

@BDGarp

4 years

@ProjectLincoln The RNC: felons.

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