I'm doing okay, I made a late dinner and just did some exercise. I've received an immense outpouring of love and I really appreciate it. I'm feeling way more emotional than I expected so I will be postponing my stream till after I wake up later today 🥹
I'm quitting. I lost absolutely everything. My marriage, my career, my livelihood, my will to live.
Keeping these secrets to protect others has felt so lonely. I don't want to live like this anymore.
This document is for my closure, I want to move on:
feels like a massive weight has been lifted from my shoulders though, i will post it tomorrow and probably stream tomorrow night (by tomorrow I mean today UK time i was definitely not up all night)
Last day in Lisbon!
I got to experience the footballing passion yesterday with Portugal scoring and winning in the dying moments of the match, SOOO GOOD 🥳
Also wanted to say thank you to the people who have sent me really sweet, kind and heartwarming messages over the past weeks whatever the platform. I can't respond to them individually but know that I've seen them and they've given me a lot of strength, thank you ☺️
I came back home, started unpacking and JoJo instantly jumps into the suitcase as if she was refusing to let me go and leave on another trip 🥺
I think she knows exactly what it means when the suitcase gets opened now
I think I will do the farewell stream this weekend, I want to pull for Sethos and Clordine anyway!
I think it's about time to talk about what's been going on and the stuff I've had to keep publicly a secret for months now
I have a few more sponsored streams/videos to do but I've decided I'm going to be quitting content creation or at least taking an extended break.
I'll talk about why I'm quitting and the struggles I've been dealing with over the past 3 months after my sponsors are done 👍
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I went for a 4 hour aimless walk the other night and ended up seeing lots of murals and shared it to my IG story. Over 1000 people unfollowed me & many sent me abuse.
I don't care about follower count, but it's SO unsettling to see that was the reaction. The ignorance is wild 😰
I had a cold the whole time during my Portugal trip 😭
Blowing your nose every 20 minutes is not very fun LMAO. Other than that Lisbon and Sintra were lovely to visit, I really recommend people go to Portugal when the weather is good!!
It's such an uplifting place to be 🇵🇹
On a lighter note before I go to bed I thought this was funny and wanted to share.
My little princess JoJo took a MONSTROUS DUMP while I was watching the teaser 😭
Sigewinne is gonna be the first new 5 star character I've skipped since Klee's debut in 2020.
I haven't touched my PC at all for the last 2 weeks, feels utterly surreal 🥲
I'm going to be travelling to Singapore next week, any recommendations on must do things or must see things? 👀
Also food recommendations please! If you tell me Hai Di Lao I will kick your ass 🤣
It has come to my attention after my most recent instagram post that I really have taste in characters and anime that go hand in hand with fujoshi fandom
For the sake of consistency and having eaten KFC in every country I have ever been to, what should I get from KFC singapore.
I need breakfast but I am ready to feast on any options there
Yesterday at MCM several people came up to me and told me despite the drama/"cancellation" they still enjoy my content and support me and I cried inside 😭😭😭
Y'all the hope of humanity fr 🥹
Don't tell anyone, but I might be cancelling all my plans today to attend the Asia Cat Expo.
DOES ANYONE IN SINGAPORE HAVE ANY EXPERIENCE WITH IT BEFORE, WAS IT GOOD??
Majority of Natlan's cast unironically looks off-putting IMO as if they had their melanin sucked out of them. Sumeru was bad enough with blatant colourism, Natlan seems just as bad.
I don't care about Genshin in the same way I used to, but it's still disappointing to see tbh 😞
I'm going through the absolute lowest point in my life right now. I am so sad and bitter. I need to be okay for tomorrow's sponsored stream though. I have several sponsored obligations this month and I just want it all to be over. 🥹
Since quitting content creation I've really had a lot more time to go out to see people and different places. I never really could fully commit myself to adventures like this before, but it's been really nice.
I really love that London and the UK is such a walkable place 😄
Also for those who have been concerned, dw I am not trying to unalive 😭. Those thoughts did cross my mind at one point before but I am doing better and trying to heal now 👍
I had kids/teens messaging me saying that I*rael should bomb me too or I'm the spawn of the devil and I'm just like ??????
Lil bros what are you being fed 😭
The way certain propaganda works globally is so terrifying. I wouldn't expect anything from boomers that have no global or technological awareness outside of their televisions but it is really scary to see even youth getting indoctrinated into such radical beliefs
My personal bests at the gym all increased slightly, nothing special but it's one step at a time 🥳
Life's been shit but there's some positives to take from it all and I'm happy to be getting back into shape
Please drop any heartbreak/heartache song recommendations here (any language).
I'm going through it right now and I'm sure others are too 😭
(I already have all the cheesy coldplay songs down)
Been listening to songs ppl have replied with for the last 7 hours. Thank you, please keep them coming 😔
Genuinely such a shit day. I can't even shed a single tear even though I seriously need and want to cry. Idk how to fix how disassociated my body has become.
Just venting
Please drop any heartbreak/heartache song recommendations here (any language).
I'm going through it right now and I'm sure others are too 😭
(I already have all the cheesy coldplay songs down)
I went to go get my ears cleaned because my hearing has become SO BAD only to find out that I have no earwax blocking my ears and it's just my old age slapping me up.
THE DISAPPOINTMENT I FELT IS IMMEASURABLE.
We had a whole beach to ourselves yesterday, it was so quiet and beautiful. The only thing you could hear were the waves and wind, but even the waves were so quiet, it felt like Nekko and I were the only people on the planet which was surreal 😎
Ik people will be upset at the opinion and many won't care, but if you're also a POC it shouldn't be hard to sympathise with those who find it disappointing to see cultures gettin milked & misrepresented like this.
I know Genshin is "just a game", but it has global influence.
Facebook and Instagram planning to use your information to feed its AI and the only way to opt out is to fill out a form which they can just reject at whim is pure fucking insanity. They don't even need your consent, how is this shit legal?
For the sake of consistency and having eaten KFC in every country I have ever been to, what should I get from KFC singapore.
I need breakfast but I am ready to feast on any options there
I have so much work to do tonight from 1am onwards - sponsored tournament, dedicated video, YT short all due within the same - it's gonna be so hard but once that's done I'll be half mostly done to being free and ready to go on my adventures 😭
My dad sends me updates on JoJo every now and then, it's been almost 2 weeks now since we flew out of the UK and I'm really really really really really missing her 😭
Went to the Frieren café today and the food was actually tasty which was surprising cause collab/anime café food is normally ass.
I had the Stark birthday hamburger which turned out to be spaghetti bolognese shaped like a massive burger 💀