Ashley Gavin @AshGavs Twitter profile

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

ripping the lil panties off a Reese’s is the most erotic thing you can do

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

2 years

straight couples: marry your best frie— lesbians: IM FUCKING TRYING

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

4 years

replace ellen w/ me. i am gay and also mean.

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

just got catcalled wearing the absolute gayest outfit. he was like “i see you baby” lol obviously you don’t my shirt says dyke

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

2 years

im in an open relationship so im not jealous when she fucks other girls but if i don’t get my hoodies back istfg

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

4 years

everytime i take a nude

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

do u like my cute lil top? — my girl telling her friends abt me

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

4 years

. @sarahschauer is funny *all* the time / / link for full episode

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

4 years

somewhere a producer is saying we can’t cast a gay person as a gay person it’s too gay.

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

4 years

white, conservatives in the suburbs think looters are coming for them, lol, ma’am no one wants your “live laugh love” poster.

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

forgive me father, for i have simped

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

it sucks when you’re not on speaking terms with your ex cuz you can’t tell them that someone is gay now and you were right

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

mom: how can u tell she’s gay? me: ummm she’s in the olympics for skateboarding

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

4 years

me trying to change the mind of a stupid guy: listen, you’re a smart guy

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

4 years

stop asking non binary ppl which bathroom they use, it’s 2020 no one is using public bathrooms

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

ppl r always like “ur such a force on stage” bitch i can code u have no idea how powerful i am

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

last night i reconnected with a girl from my camp, fell in love with her, discovered she had a boyfriend, cried, shit talked to her to women i barely knew all in 10 minutes so yes i am lesbian

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

any pronoun is fine but if you call me mommy instead of daddy i will fully spiral

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

4 years

probably not the right time but this does look bigger than his inauguration crowd

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

2 years

sometimes i wish i were str8 so my gf and i could finally decide on what to eat

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

okay weve gone on 1 date and our cycles synced up: even my uterus is a lil simp bitch

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

2 years

i never thought my name matched my personality, but then i hear “ashley your hemp milk latte is ready” shouted by a non binary barista and im like okay maybe it fits

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

im 34. how many crying angry meltdowns do i have to subject my loved ones to before i finally realize it’s YOUR FUCKING PERIOD, DUMBASS

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

2 years

it’s pride & queerness is 💕magical & transcendent🧚‍♂️ but my fav part about being gay is ✨destroying pussy✨

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

2 years

one time a girl squeezed my tit so hard i winced and said “whatever it is you need… it’s not in there” anyway she’s in therapy now

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

2 years

how do i tell this dyke at the coffee shop returning a latte that being gay does not cancel out being a karen?

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

2 years

me at home: me on a plane: answers 4 million emails, speradsheet magic, beep bop boop boop gotta impress the person next to me i am a girl boss

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

poly in theory, lil simp bitch in practice

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

i love all the support but ive been visibly lesbian since kindergarten

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

a non-binary flight attendant called me “mr gavin” as i boarded my flight… what’s the word for being simultaneously misgendered but also feeling so seen? was this intentional? do they misgender everyone? i rly hope they do cuz it was fucking amazing.

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

so excited to finally share this news with all of you: i am going to Trader Joe’s and i remembered my reusable bags!!!!

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

whenever I’m w/ a cute girl guys are like “she’s bi right?” as if we’re gonna split custody

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

got whistled at this morning and said “i can tell from your weak ass whistle i eat better pussy than you do” anyway feel free to use that ladies!!!!

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

boobies are so fucking cool.

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

a lesbian orgy is just a bouldering gym

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

Had @MichaelaOkla on she is fucking hilarious /

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

4 years

We’re Having Gay Sex w/ @druidDUDE this week (out now)

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

im watching Pixar’s luca for the first time and if these gay ass fish don’t fuck each other i swear to god

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

2 years

too sad to fuck hot bisexuals today so is it even pride?

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

@MichaelaOkla My heart breaks for you Michaela. I’m thinking of you all the time 💕 most won’t know a friendship like you two had.

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

2 years

i am a scorpio who does not believe in astrology until someone wrongs me and then i tattoo their name on the palm of my hand and swear that vengeance is my only god and download co-star again

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

my phone died mid-call with my therapist and i went on weeping, uninterrupted, for a full 11 minutes. it was the most productive session of my life.

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

4 years

Personally I think he got covid from Hillary’s emails

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

my cats keep trying to leave the house ITS A FUCKING PANDEMIC STAY AT HOME

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

4 years

I will be tweeting live election updates! Update 1! I’ve started crying!

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

sometimes my cat will just stare at a wall for hours, okay bro we get it you meditate

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

2 years

TIL there’s a chemical difference between platonic and romantic love. okay science then explain the lesbian super human ability to repress feelings for their best friends for 9 decades???

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

2 years

honestly i have a lot to learn from bottoms like being zen and entering flow states and shit

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

4 years

Sexually; a top. Intellectually; a bottom.

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

4 years

republicans r like “things are so bad right now it is critical that you RE-ELECT us”

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

4 years

if you’re a bi woman, and timothee chalamet is your dream man, then you are a gay woman

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

2 years

i got *one* bad Lyft rating and they emailed me being like get your shit together. like why is Lyft a better communicator than all my exes? girl are you a pieces???

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

2 years

being gay & matching w someone on hinge is like “oh, emily who didn’t message me back from 4 years ago? THEY ALL COME CRAWLING BACK.”

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

2 years

felt cute might delete

what kind of dog is this

@genius_dogs

2 years

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

4 years

ppl who won’t wear masks definitely thought aids was a gay plague

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

2 years

i made up a bechdel style test for better representation of lesbians in media. the film fails unless it has: 1) two lesbians 2) who talk to each other about 3) literally absolutely nothing else besides being gay

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

2 years

i will never feel as hot as i did in my j crew mens section madras shorts. peak lesbian euphoria.

RAMONA SLICK 🇵🇸

@ramonaslick

2 years

The vice grip these had on young queers back in 2008…. It could be studied

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

public sex is gr8 for lesbians cuz if u get caught ppl are just like “what is that???”

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

2 years

so much gay media takes place in apocalyptic scenarios. we get it, you’re creating a world in which your str8 best friend will finally fuck you.

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

i just had the great honor of seeing a gorgeous booty on the street. i waited till she was 50 feet away from me and under my mask i whispered to myself: “cool”. that is a lesbian catcall.

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

2 years

gen z is like instead of lashing out at your partner, you should tell your partner WHY you’re lashing out at them

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

2 years

help im at a jewish wedding do mascs wear yarmulkes????

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

my mom didn’t accept that i was gay, and i lost my father at 11, but i will never know the trauma my cats feel when i put them in a carrier.

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

the only sure things in life are death, taxes, and running into your ex the day after therapy

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

4 years

College is when you decide who you’re going to be for the rest of your life incorrectly

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

4 years

i don’t like sports but if you’re having an indoor super bowl party im rooting for covid

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

just did a set and this 23 y/o girl said she’d “follow me into war” which clearly was about fighting sexism and homophobia but i immediately was like i should start an actual war

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

girls smell rly good

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

str8s: is being a lesbian the really the most interesting thing about you??? me: being a lesbian is literally 1000 times more interesting than anything Jimmy Fallon could possibly imagine why are you asking me this still?

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

2 years

being gay is like sort of a choice? like you can’t opt out but you can always opt in.

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

when im horny everything is a georgia okeefe painting

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

2 years

Butterfingers /ˈbədər fiNGɡərs/ (noun): a lesbian fuck boi you should absolutely ghost... but her fingers

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

4 years

one of my cis str8 male listeners just taught another of my trans male listeners how to shave via our discord community. i duno why you’re not listening to my podcast it is wholesome and beautiful including the ass eating

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

who’s 5’8” and has one of the most popular podcasts in America??? this guy. and joe rogan @robintran04

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

we could end homophobia if we stopped calling it "coming out" and started calling it an "origin story"

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

i have a huge crush on a femme cnn anchor (obvi) and she got the tiniest bit flirty with a male guest so i join q anon now?

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

2 years

ppl who don’t do comedy are either like “why aren’t you on SNL?” or “you should do a show at Lizzie’s Ear of Corn Bar, it’s 2 hrs outside St. Louis & they do drag brunch every other Sunday. I know the owners ex cousin so they’ll give you 5 mins if I pull some strings.

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

2 years

sorry i was hacked

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

2 years

happy friday!!!!! sometimes i see a sapling and i wonder if this earth will last long enough to nurture it into adulthood!!!!

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

I’m proud to say I’m officially campaigning to replace Ellen. I will bring a fresh gay but also mean perspective to the show.

Variety

@Variety

3 years

What Ellen DeGeneres Leaving Her Show Means for Daytime TV and for Ellen

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

how long should you be in therapy? take the number of years you lived with an abusive person and multiply that by infinity

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

2 years

i love penis

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

6 years

I’m sorry, did that Scientology ad just use subliminal messaging to convince us that Mozart was a Scientologist? @LeahRemini where are you right now? We need you. #SuperBowl

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

queer femme missed connections are like “i saw u at a vegan poetry tapas bar in bushwick. we stared at each other across the tarot table for 45 minutes and ive been thinking abt u for 3 years and 267 days.”

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

4 years

cried in public today which is impressive given that i only leave the house to buy groceries

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

4 years

throw some sunnies on over your mask and cry in public; that shit is LIBERATING

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

the best punchline on @Drake 's album is that he thinks he's the first dude to say he's a lesbian too

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

overheard a guy tell his date about making homemade mozzarella sticks. lol and they say white ppl dont have culture FUCK YOU

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

4 years

@sarahschauer / We're Having Gay Sex podcast /

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

4 years

not a drill: @druidDUDE is on the podcast this week.

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

i thought ppl couldn’t be turned gay but then the pandemic happened so idk anymore

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

a little girl at the park was running around pretending to be sonic just like i did w so i made sure to tell her mother that she’s gay

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

im tired im horny

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

4 years ago i created a profile on a "seeking arrangements" type website trying to figure out if any str8 men would simply pay to have dinner w me. the answer was a resounding no. cut to this week: ive gotten 3 offers. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING???

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

i just sent a selfie to a girl and there are 3 baseball caps total in the shot what type of red flag am i waving?

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

shout out to the WHGS listener who told me all my dates are tax deductible. you’re a real one.

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

2 years

help me find this missed connection: Me: backwards cap, sunglasses on a park bench on the pier You: dragged away by some other girl, your fur looked so soft, also you are a dog

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Ashley Gavin

@AshGavs

3 years

i have a pimple on my shoulder blade and no girlfriend 😔

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