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@AshCake1987

2,700
Followers
3,939
Following
2,263
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14,965
Statuses

Be cool. Don't be all, like . . . uncool.

England, United Kingdom
Joined December 2009
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@AshCake1987
๐ŸŒŸ SmASH ๐ŸŒŸ
@AshCake1987
9 months
Jesus Christ I would make someone a good husband ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ
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@AshCake1987
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2 months
Out of interest . . . Do you prefer me with glasses or without?
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@AshCake1987
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@AshCake1987
2 months
Well, I can't force ๐Ÿฉต๐Ÿงก to want me so I guess I'll just resign myself to bed with the other love of my life ๐Ÿ˜‚
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@AshCake1987
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@AshCake1987
11 days
Why's everyone on dating apps so obsessed with my eyes? They're just eyes! And I've got a really nice willy, like omfg guys stop being superficial!
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@AshCake1987
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8 months
Tall? โœ… Dark? โœ… Handsome? โœ… Scottish? โœ… blue eyed? โœ… AKA My Future Husband.
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6 months
2004 vs 2024. I think that's what is called a Glow Up.
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5 months
What, so all you hoes in the DMs actually have BFs?!
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1 year
New home right there.
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5 months
I actually kinda like that pic. No dye or product in my hair and my face having a flair up. But I'm not mad about it.
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2 months
#NewProfilePic
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2 years
Rewatching UK s1 and . . . Why didn't @BluHydrangea_ call her water H-Blu-O?!
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4 months
#NewProfilePic
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@AshCake1987
28 days
Not actually sure how this hotel runs itself when I take selfies constantly (although TBF I'm actually waiting for 52 people to stop speeches and fuck off to bed).
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2 months
Doing a Terry part deux.
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5 months
Somebody made a comment about "sad eyes", but I'm not even sad or angry anymore, I'm just tired. Tired of putting in effort. Tired of trusting people. Tired of loving too much. Tired of getting my hopes up.
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1 year
Whatever happened to common decency in journalism? The guy's just died you fucking cretins, no one cares what he was eating!
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5 months
#NewProfilePic Au Naturale.
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2 months
Sleep is overrated anyway, right?!
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2 months
"I love sleep, for my world has a tendency to fall apart when I'm awake". - Ernest Hemingway
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2 months
Florals? For spring? Groundbreaking.
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2 months
โ€œYou must really begin to harden yourself to the idea of being worth looking at.โ€ - Jane Austen, (Mansfield Park)
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29 days
Just in case y'all wondered what colour tie it was today.
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21 days
Roar.
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7 months
I'm really not sure why I'm single because I'm actually really easy to please: - Adore me. - Text me back. - Feed me. - Don't put your willy in other people. ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ
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2 months
#NewProfilePic "To see a world in a grain of sand and heaven in a wild flower; Hold infinity in the palm of your hand and eternity in an hour." - William Blake
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@AshCake1987
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@AshCake1987
2 years
Thoughts on #Starstruck . . . 1) I'm not too sure what I've just watched; 2) I am completely obsessed with @adamlambert ; 3) Who doesn't need a metallic leopard print suit in their life?
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5 months
Good Boy
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2 years
Highlight of my day has GOT to be @karren_brady telling the candidates "you better run" #TheApprentice
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8 months
#NewProfilePic
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3 months
Slightly tipsy, very bored. Fire away.
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2 months
Tell me it's not true Say you didn't mean it Say it's just pretend Say it's just the end Of an old movie from years ago Of an old movie with Marilyn Monroe
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7 months
#NewProfilePic
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3 months
Bit tipsy and looking very ginger in the garden lighting.
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3 months
Erudite ๐Ÿค“ #NewProfilePic
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13 days
Might be expensive to be me but I'm also pretty much a basic bitch
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2 months
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn Is just to love and be loved in return." Happy Pride Month to y'all, and fuck you to those who don't.
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2 months
Ffs I feel like Dora the Explorer with my backpack.
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@AshCake1987
4 months
Apparently my potassium levels are "deranged". It was only a matter of time before they caught up with the rest of me. ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ and according to that ECG then I'm technically dead.
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2 months
That'll do, Pig.
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2 months
My thoughts on towels on hotel beds. Call the Polizzi.
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2 years
1) Got excited by a paperback cover 2) Read the blurb, sounds good, bought it. 3) Got home to realise of course it sounds good, I've read the fricken hardback! ๐Ÿ™„ #booktwt #BookTwitter
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2 months
Doing an @IP2guy innit.
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4 months
It's not all glamour.
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22 days
Three piece suit in this weather is not a vibe.
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2 months
You in May '23.
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3 months
#NewProfilePic
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1 month
Feel like I've kinda dressed myself like I'm flying British Airways today.
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2 months
Saying goodbye to my swans before moving to Suffolk tomorrow.
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2 months
So far, Suffolking well!
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@AshCake1987
7 months
Happy New Year guys and gals, gays and theys! Big love to those who love me, f**k you to those who don't, and for those yet to meet me - may the odds be ever in your favour. Cheers sweeties ๐Ÿฅ‚
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5 months
Oh I miss the Circles days where I could just whack my winky out and get the validation I crave.
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2 months
Love being stuck at Birmingham International for an hour ๐Ÿ™„ ๐ŸŽง Rach 2 ๐Ÿ’™ ๐ŸŽง
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@AshCake1987
10 months
When did Lee Mead become such a DILF?!
@leemeadofficial
Lee Mead
@leemeadofficial
10 months
Show time ๐Ÿ˜Š Back on the ships with my show for the first time in six months tonight and very excited. On board the stunning Arvia @pandocruises for the first time too.
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3 months
Who's afraid of little old me? You should be.
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18 days
Could actually cry that I got on a slow train.
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4 months
Doing an @IP2guy .
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@AshCake1987
3 months
Anybody else think "Ooh I look quite pretty" and then change angle and realise you're actually a swamp creature?!
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@AshCake1987
3 months
#NewProfilePic
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17 days
Like I don't know what happens, I know every single word of this play ๐Ÿคฃ
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5 months
I've heard people say they don't need coffee to function. You also don't need a parachute to skydive, but it fucking well helps.
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@AshCake1987
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3 months
Umm, hooray for Evening Sun Selfies ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ
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5 months
Not sure if caps suit me but I am sure that I can't be arsed doing my hair ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ
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2 months
#NewProfilePic Water ya waiting for?
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5 months
Baby, you can have him. I've got a million dream lovers, alright. I've got a broken heart for every light on Broadway. And when one of them goes out, I just screw in another one, okay, hello good-bye.
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@AshCake1987
4 months
QT with a sexy B&W.
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@EarlOfPowys
Jones ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿด๓ ง๓ ข๓ ท๓ ฌ๓ ณ๓ ฟ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡บ
@EarlOfPowys
4 months
QT with a sexy B&W
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@AshCake1987
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@AshCake1987
9 months
#NewProfilePic
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2 months
๐Ÿ˜›
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18 days
Love is love. ๐ŸŒˆ ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€โšง๏ธ
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4 months
Packing for a wee trip to bonny Scotland. Red tartan pyjamas is overkill, right?!
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4 months
Miss my blue eyed partner in crime and when I looked young! ๐Ÿ˜”
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@AshCake1987
2 years
We need a West End revival of Priscilla and we need @Divinadecampo to play Tick. There, I said it.
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1 month
Note to self:- don't be flirting with guests til 2:30am. It makes for a sleepy/cranky Ash next day.
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11 months
I'm coming back as a cat in my next life so that I can reach my own balls and not have to rely on other men because men are what? Dickheads.
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@AshCake1987
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@AshCake1987
3 months
Where my hounds at? Release the bitches. * WOOF *
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12 days
Oh, good light!
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2 months
Routine resumed ft The Gremlin.
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5 months
#NewProfilePic good boi
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5 months
I just a need a day being naked with someone and watching movies, eating crap food and having eight orgasms. That would sort me out.
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7 months
Where's the lie though?
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2 months
I was going to write a "Wet n Windy" caption but of course it's wet, it's the bloody North Sea.
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2 months
Just moments before I got caught belting out "Mama, I'm A Big Girl Now" from Hairspray.
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4 months
Relationship status: table for one, drinks for two.
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2 months
Is it really a selfie shoot without the obligatory โœŒ๏ธ though?! ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ ๐Ÿค”
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7 months
#NewProfilePic
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1 month
Last night's home office.
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4 months
That Sunday shine Is a certain sign That you feel as rough as you look.
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