That Art Guy @ArtGuyNZ Twitter profile

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That Art Guy

3 months

Don't forget that any original art is available for sale! If you are interested in any of my pieces, please feel free to DM me for details 😊

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

3 years

Everybody please stop what you are doing and appreciate the artistic brilliance of the Race Walking New Zealand logo

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

3 years

I once punched myself firmly in the cock and nobody wrote a column about me

Stuff

@NZStuff

3 years

The outcasts: Life as an unvaccinated person in the traffic light system

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

6 months

Bottom of the NRL table

Russell Crowe

@russellcrowe

6 months

Where am I now ?

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

4 years

Hey New Zealand... don't forget that as it is now Xmas Eve, it is compulsory to go and buy 7 weeks worth of groceries today, as the shops are closed tomorrow for a full 24 hours

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

3 years

Hey New Zealand - don't forget that supermarkets aren't open until 1pm tomorrow, so it's best to race down today in a mad panic and buy six months worth of groceries.

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

3 years

Dear Hollywood, Fuck off. Love, Aotearoa New Zealand

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

3 years

Tonight we had to make the hardest of calls. RIP Bella ❤️❤️❤️ 17/3/2011 to 28/1/2022

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

2 years

Neighbour's 10 year old did this and thinks it's not good enough 😳

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

4 years

Does anyone in New Zealand know whether Trump has been banned from Neighbourly yet?

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

3 years

Where's a Wellington sewer leak when you need it?

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

4 years

No you might not

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

5 years

Shout out required for daughter's photography 👍

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

1 year

I'd just like to take a moment and recognise both Liz Gunn and Brian Tamaki as complete fucking casseroles.

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

6 years

Sorting out a holiday tonight. Ruling out Australia. Knowing my luck it would be my turn to be PM while I'm there.

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

4 years

Random Thought of the Day: If a swingers club was to go into self isolation during lockdown, would we then refer to that as a clusterfuck?

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

4 years

In 25 years of supporting the Warriors, I've felt embarrassed, frustrated and disappointed. But never ashamed. Until now. Try that shit at Mt Smart and you'd get your gutless heads caved in. Piss off you cowards - and send your apologies on the way out. #NRLWarriorsPanthers

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

4 years

I wonder if NZ Cricket has any idea how many viewers they are losing when a certain person is selected. I assume not, but if they viewed my timeline they should make sure he's never selected again. #NZvsPAK

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

3 years

"I am not a scientist or a politician" said Tamaki. No shit. You're not even a fucking Bishop you fake twat.

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

2 years

From now, the first clause in any @NZWarriors contract should read: "You hereby acknowledge that you understand where New Zealand is, and that you will be required to live there from 2023".

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

4 years

If she's not ruining one party, she's ruining another

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

3 years

Advanced Dementia in a parent? 0/10. Would not recommend 🙁

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

3 years

Dear A***** Z******** Thank you for kind offer of joining your "movement". Regrettably, I have to decline, based on the fact that you're obviously a pack of cunts. Yours sincerely, Get Fucked.

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

4 years

@notagain127 @tugruldurali There is an excellent podcast about him on the ABC Conversations series in Australia - link below....

The day that shook the Olympic movement - ABC listen

Matt Norman's late uncle Peter won a silver medal at the 1968 Olympics, but he was notoriously cast out of Australian sport

www.abc.net.au

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

6 years

Dear Gun Freaks of America, Many thanks for your input to date regarding our new gun laws. But here's an idea. What say you do it your way, we'll do it ours. I know where I'd rather be living.

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

3 years

Imagine having the money to be able to fly this sign behind a plane - and STILL choosing to spend it flying this sign behind a plane.

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

5 years

Auckland skies in 4 unfiltered shots #AustralianBushfire

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

3 years

I failed Wordle 😱 Is it compulsory to delete my account now?

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

2 years

Twitter isn't slow. It's just been Elon-gated.

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

2 years

You've gotta love this fanbase #NZvTONGA

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

5 years

Israel Folau. A millionaire, begging for money from people with far less money, to enable him to make even more money than he already has. Yep. Perfectly suited to certain pulpits.

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

6 years

@AllBlacks @irisshackleton I've only just heard about this, and I'd just like to take this opportunity to say fuck yes.

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

1 year

You think YOU have it bad? I just walked past Brian and Hannah Tamaki in the wild

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

2 years

Don't forget NZ that there will be an alert test on your phones between 6 & 7 tonight. This message brought to you in the hopes that you will not shit yourself 👍

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

3 years

Stop the Games now please

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

3 years

After a $156m loss, can the America's Cup finally fuck off for good? Many thanks.

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

6 years

Ireland you twats

Newshub

@NewshubNZ

6 years

Who's to blame for the All Blacks' second loss to Ireland?

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

4 years

This is a friendly reminder that if you oppose free period products in schools, you are - generally speaking of course - a prick.

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

3 years

Thought I'd just drop into say I can't see my dad in hospital care at present thanks to those who can't follow rules, influencers, and cock goblins like Brian Tamaki. On behalf of my family, fuck you very much.

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

5 years

Mediaworks: "We're haemorrhaging money - we need to sell TV3" Also Mediaworks: "Look at the 79 reporters we sent to Japan for the Rugby World Cup"

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

1 year

RIP Zoe. 17.5 years is a good knock and your timing was sensational.

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

4 years

The Government may have a new press conference star in Kiri Allan... #eqnz

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

5 years

Dear Colin Craig, Get fucked you snivelling little cockgoblin. Love Keith

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

5 years

Dear every company I've ever dealt with, Stop sending me emails about how your company is dealing with COVID19. Whilst I appreciate the fact you are simply trying to make yourselves look good, I really don't care in any way, shape or form. Kind regards Keith

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

5 years

My #SecretSantaNZ2019 nailed it. Not only did they correctly identify my love of snakes (and Wasabi Doritos!) but I also got a Foxy card! But the kicker was an EXTREMELY generous donation in my name for @GoodBitchesBake Thank you 🙏 #22OpeningDay

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

2 years

Only took three years....

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

2 years

I wonder why parking is at such a premium this mor.....oh....

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

7 years

You know it's a big ship when.....

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

5 years

Auckland: "Man, that Convention Centre fire really crippled the CBD - it was terrible. Glad it's over." Auckland, two weeks later: "It's Guy Fawkes - let's fuck around with gunpowder and set two of our maunga alight!!!" #banfireworks

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

19 days

Optimistic numbers

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

6 years

Apologies to everyone in the Auckland region for the remarkably high pitched squeal you may have heard 30 minutes ago. It wasn't a 9 year old girl, that was me. I saw a dead rat on the lawn and shat myself. As you were.

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

6 months

So far Latrell Mitchell has: 1) Elbowed Johnson in the face 2) Tipped Tohu Harris on his head 3) Attempted to detach Ford's head from his body Can't wait to see what he brings in the second half 🤬 #NRLSouthsWarriors

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

3 years

Well, looks like some of us will have plenty of time coming up after 1pm... I'll start when I've got about 10 likes

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

3 years

He's not the messiah - he's a very naughty boy

1News

@1NewsNZ

3 years

Brian Tamaki appears in court as supporters shout let him go

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

9 months

@ArtMutuals 🙋

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

3 years

Thank fuck

Elon Musk

@elonmusk

3 years

… going to moon very soon

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

4 years

Just walked into a coffee shop and grabbed a coffee 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

2 years

There has been a (HARVEY NORMAN) State of Emergency declared for Auckland

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

2 years

The timing of Leo Molloy's announcement in the current climate seems a remarkable coincidence

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

3 years

Seems a strange reason to retire

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

2 years

Worst Benny Hill impersonation evahhh

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

2 years

Mackintosh's Toffee ratings from best to worst: 1) Egg & Cream 2) Harrogate 3) Toffee De Luxe 4) Malt 5) Coconut 6) Mint

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

6 years

Bloody hell. Piers Morgan interviewing Donald Trump? There's 30 minutes I'd rather spend removing my testicles with a hacksaw.....

Piers Morgan

@piersmorgan

6 years

BREAKING NEWS: I just finished a 30-minute interview with President Donald Trump aboard Air Force One. It’s his only UK TV interview & will air on ⁦ITV exclusively on ITV.

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

3 years

Steaming gloriousness

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

6 years

When someone borrows your car, and they neglect to shift the driver's seat back into it's correct position.

faith

@faith_crist

6 years

What’s worse than a heartbreak?

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

4 years

I'd just like to introduce you all to my smoked, slow cooked brisket and ale pie with thyme and onion pastry. You're welcome.

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

4 years

The Psychedelic Churs #makeabandnz

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

3 years

I'd just like to take this opportunity to wish those farmers who brought tractors into Queen Street all the best for getting home in peak hour Auckland traffic on a Friday.

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

2 years

A heavy sense of what now?

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

10 months

@ArtMutuals 😊

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

6 years

@grumpstorm The only thing that could possibly make this better is if the groom-to-be hooked up with the Maid of Honour and got married by Elvis in Vegas.....

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

2 years

Imagine living in a country that holds gun rights in higher regard than the rights of women

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

4 years

No it doesn't Phil, you absolute cockgoblin

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

5 years

Dear everyone, Stick your fireworks up your fucking arse. Thanks.

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

8 years

A pinned tweet? Why would I bother with a pinned tweet?

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

2 years

In this case, "donation" can be easily replaced with "twat of myself"

Pigeon English (Julie) 🇮🇱🇮🇱🇮🇱

@Julie_nzkiwi

2 years

I will not give a "koha". I will make a "donation", and so will the vast majority of New Zealanders.

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

4 years

Favourite part of the Times Table? 9 x 7 = 63 No question.

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

4 years

Things not going so well in lockdown for the ol' Herald

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

3 years

Is there a more oxymoronic phrase in the English language than "Cricket Australia's Code of Conduct"?

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

6 years

It's a quiet Saturday morning, so let's try this one out. Once I get a few likes I'll kick it off.

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

1 year

Air Fryer Pork Belly. Pretty impressive 😍

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

4 years

Steely Dannevirke #MakeABandNZ

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

4 years

Three things they didn't warn you about lockdown: 1) Any regular sleep pattern you may have had is now officially over 2) Your dishwasher is about to cop an absolute hammering 3) Your consumption of carbs is about to go through the roof #COVID19 #Covid_19

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

3 years

I see that Liz Gunn is trending. I really don't care why, but this is a friendly reminder that she is a complete and utter casserole who lost any sense of reality some time back. Thanks for listening.

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

4 years

Regardless of your political bent, there are precious few countries in the world where you would see this happening

Max Rashbrooke

@MaxRashbrooke

4 years

Grant Robertson and Paul Goldsmith playing Monopoly at the Thistle Inn for a Cancer Society fundraiser. No mention yet of whether Goldsmith is down $4bn. But then Robertson hasn't volunteered to pay capital gains tax on his properties, so there we are.

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

5 years

I have KFC about once a year, and I immediately regret it. Tonight I had KFC, and I immediately regretted it.

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

3 years

@ApostleTamaki And thanks to illiterate fuckheads like you, I still can't see my Dad in hospital. You are a cock.

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

6 years

Imagine being such massive arseholes that you even got booted out of Hamilton Burger King. The shame.

Newshub

@NewshubNZ

6 years

Opinion: They are not Irish and they are not welcome

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

1 year

🧵 Thought it might be a nice idea to try and give you some context around some of my artwork. Some are obvious, some less so. So, in no particular order...

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

2 years

The sunset/horizon collection. Let me know your favourite!

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

3 years

Thank you #SecretSantaNZ2021 !! I got me some sustenance and an AM34! Well done - have a great Festive Season 🎄⛄

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

2 years

Twitter - do your thing. Someone lost this mitten 1,100 years ago. Let's find them!

Secrets Of The Ice

@brearkeologi

2 years

Someone lost their mitten while crossing the Lendbreen ice in the Viking Age. The mitten disappeared into the snow and ice in the pass. The owner probably thought that it was gone forever, but not so🙂 We found the mitten melting out of the retreating ice patch 1100 years later.

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

2 years

Saw Jimmy Carr in 2016. David Bowie died. Saw Russell Howard in 2021. Got a text alert saying Auckland was going back into full lockdown. Saw Jimmy Carr tonight. A Civil Defence warning. I should be banned from attending live comedy shows.

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

3 years

Has anyone in history ever successfully opened a Chupa Chup on the first attempt?

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

3 years

@rebekahscanlan It could also dictate whether you end up on a ventilator in hospital, or worse.

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

4 years

Can someone explain how it all works to Phil please?

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

4 years

It appears as though I've lost very, very few followers through The Great Twitter Purge of 2021, meaning you must all be good bastards. Keep up the good work team 👍

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

3 years

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

6 years

Dear all. I am assisting with a Xmas cake. Needing half a pound of butter (227gms), I cut into my 500gm block - my selected option weighed 229gms. Upon removing the paper, it weighed in at exactly 227gms, so I now retire undefeated as the world champ of butter guessing. Thanks

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

3 years

A message for those at #CampCasserole 👍 #Clownvoy2022NZ

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That Art Guy

@ArtGuyNZ

3 years

Double vaccinated, but I believe it doesn't take any effect until I post this image

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