If you write it down, you will soon become it.
Just watch.
Journal who you want to become every day of your life.
Force yourself to level up daily.
Watch yourself blossom into a legend.
Social Intelligence 101:
If your friend is telling you about an accomplishment, do not try to one-up them by sharing an accomplishment of your own.
Tame your ego.
Sit back and actively listen.
Social anxiety is a form of narcissism.
You think other people are spending the entire event watching you?
Nah.
You're not a celebrity like that.
Kind of funny when you look at it that way.
Nerves will melt
Side effect of learning a lot of psychology:
You find it difficult to get mad at people because you know why they behave the way they do.
It is a liberating feeling.
5 Life Lessons Learned from Kobe:
1. Execute the process with full enthusiasm.
2. Put more pressure on yourself than the outside world can.
3. Don't put yourself in a box.
4. Always be learning & asking questions.
5. Chase greatness.
RIP Legend.
'How come I procrastinate so much?'
Bc you keep envisioning the end product vs the work it's going to take to get there.
You're looking at the macro. You should try looking at the micro.
Break your workload down & take it step by step
Gradual improvement beats procrastination
Humans were born to solve problems, not get outraged by bullshit.
But here's what happened.
We live in the era of comfort.
Most humans don't have real problems to solve.
So what happens?
Their brains create an ILLUSION of a problem to throw a hissyfit about.
Sad way to live
Manipulation Sign:
If you are compromising too much, there is a chance that you are getting manipulated.
Why are you the one that's always compromising?
How come the other person always gets their way?
Be more curious.
If something seems off, stick up for yourself.
It's rude to introduce someone new to a group & just leave them hanging.
You gotta integrate them into the convo by stating interesting facts about them so the other members can ask em questions.
That's how winners introduce
If you look CLOSELY at charismatic people, they aren't talking that much.
Most of them follow the 70/30 rule.
70% listening.
30% talking.
But when they do speak?
They do so with enthusiasm and intent.
Their words carry more weight than a rambler.
Why you hate life:
You have 0 purpose
All your friends hate life
You eat like a sack of shit
You neglect your sleep
You think life happens to you
You're always alone
You are a slave to your thoughts & emotions
You misuse technology
You whine like you get paid for it
If someone does you a favor.
Ask them how you can return the favor.
They may say nothing is needed.
But simply asking how you can repay them back showcases that you ACKNOWLEDGE that they did you a favor in the first place.
And that's what matters.
Think about these things..
Boiling water softens the potato.
Boiling water hardens the egg.
Same situation, different results.
Same with life.
Tough situations creates wimps.
Tough situations creates legends.
Same situation, different results.
Choose your path wisely.
Social Tip:
If you know most of the people at a social event & see someone standing by themself, then:
1. Introduce yourself.
2. Build rapport.
3. Introduce them to others.
That what you'd want others doing for you if you were in there position.
So do it & be a winner.
If you are going to invest in self education, then do yourself a favor.
Learn how to learn.
You were never taught this in school.
Read up on:
-Stages of learning
-Slow practice
-Myelination
-Neural pathways
There is NO shame in working a 40 hour a week job as you build your empire.
Many people do not have business experience, so they will need some cash flowing in to make mistakes.
Normal.
Do not ever attack someone who is balancing a 40 and working endlessly on their dreams.
The smarter you become, the harder it can be to empathize.
Which is why you need to allow your awareness to keep your intellect in check.
Just because you're smart doesn't mean everyone else is
OR others may be smart in a different lane
Avoid being overly analytical w/ humans
-Be introverted when you need to.
-Be extroverted when you need to.
It's not one or the other.
Don't view the Myers Briggs test as a lifelong sentence.
Rather, use it as a measurement to see where you stand.
And where you can improve.
โGrowth mindset: Personality Edition.
If you're in your 20s, you need to be grinding towards something.
Most people your age will probably be getting fucked up all the time.
Partying is fun & fine
But don't let your 20s solely be defined by that.
Work towards something bigger.
โ20s = planting the seeds
Procrastination Hack:
When you procrastinate, you are focusing too much on the big tasks.
Stop.
Flip it.
Focus on the small tasks & build up.
Ex: instead of focusing on getting the entire blog done, do 1 paragraph.
You will strangely want to complete another paragraph...
Most of your problems in life come from:
Being controlled by your ego.
Overthinking.
Giving a fuck about other's opinions.
Planning out failures before you even did the event.
Thin skin.
Being controlled by your thoughts.
You can fix most of these issues with meditation.
The Birth of a Creative:
1. Imaginative as hell as a child.
2. Imagination is put on hold when entering the school system.
3. Lives logically.
4. One day goes thru traumatic event.
5. Unleashes the emotions on an artistic vehicle.
6. Inner creativity is rediscovered.
I don't trust sensitive people.
Biggest snakes & easy to brainwash.
It's just a matter of time before you say something that irks them.
They also end up being group thinkers.
Don't keep sensitive people in your squad.
Thick skin winners only
Words rewire your nervous system
I didn't even know this was a thing until I began public speaking, podcasting, tweeting etc.
Psycho-Linguisitcs
When psychology meets language
Speaking your life into existence is a thing
It rewires the internal which influences the external
Don't worry about losing people.
Worry about people losing you.
To graduate to this mindset, you need to be a valuable human.
Gotta invest in yourself & stand by it.
Study Hack:
Try this.
Whenever you are studying, pretend like you have to teach someone the content right after.
This mentality shift is huge.
You will scope thru the fluff.
And you will start paying attention only to the important points.
Level up your learning ๐๐
Distraction & focus are both muscles.
Every time you get distracted, you're reinforcing neural pathways for distraction.
Every time you override a distraction, you're reinforcing neural pathways for focus.
Choice is yours tbh
Signs of Social Intelligence:
Trustworthy
Able to create small talk
Able to create nuanced conversation
Remembers names
Can have a big circle, but chooses for a small one
Observant of the small details
Gives thoughtful compliments
Laser like listening skills
High level empathy
Life Laws:
When you are angry, distance.
When you are bored, learn.
When you are anxious, do.
When you are sad, introspect.
When you fail, analyze.
When you win, win more.
Being lonely is mental.
Being alone is physical.
Use loneliness as an opportunity to become best friends with yourself.
When you do this, you are able to recondition your mindset.
You'll never be lonely again.
Simply alone.
Study Hack:
Try this.
Whenever you are studying, pretend like you have to teach someone the content right after.
This mentality shift is huge.
You will scope thru the fluff.
And you will start paying attention only to the important points.
Level up your learning ๐๐
I have been studying social dynamics for a while.
Listen to me carefully.
Look around you.
You see most of those people?
Lowkey snakes.
They ain't looking out for you.
Stop telling your dreams to everyone.
Only your squad.
ALWAYS have people earn your trust.
At the end of the day, you're a magnet.
You attract what you put out there.
Which is why it's dangerous to pretend to be someone that you're not.
You begin magnetizing people who love the illusion of you.
But do not really love the real you.
The best speakers have a HIGH tolerance for embarrassment.
Pretty sure they have choked a speech or forgot a point on stage.
They were embarassed.
The audience giggled.
And life moved on.
Since that moment, they realized the biggest critic of embarrassment is the inner voice
Cheatcode to a better life:
Sleep well
Meditate
Journal
Visualize
Do yoga
Know financial literacy
Have hobbies
Get sun
Workout
Eat healthy
Drink water
Have a social support system
Know when to rest
Emotional Intelligence in a Nutshell:
-Emotions come in waves.
-It's not a life sentence.
When you learn this, you can look at emotions as a 3rd party observer vs. a 1st party participant.
Keep reading this till it clicks.
Understanding this concept can change your life.
'Why do I suffer from analysis paralysis?'
Because you try to be strategic before you put in any work.
Strategic thinking is a byproduct of putting in work & then connecting the dots.
Until you put in the work, there won't be dots to connect.
Just a lot of thinking & anxiety.
The key is to begin before you're ready.
Learn along the way.
Only 1 out of 10 can do this.
The scrappy ones
Be scrappy rather than overly intellectual.
A scrappy individual with awareness will build intellect along the way AND have results to show for it.
Multiple Intelligences Theory:
1. Linguistic- good w/ words
2. Intrapersonal - self aware
3. Interpersonal- good w/ people
4. Logical- good w/ rationale
5. Spatial- good w/ visualizing
6. Kinesthetic- good w/ body
7. Auditory- good w/ music
8. Naturalistic- good w/ nature
When you are angry, distance.
When you are bored, learn.
When you are anxious, do.
When you are sad, introspect.
When you fail, analyze.
When you win, win more.
Social Tip:
Every shy person has a story.
No one is born shy, it is developed.
Don't be too quick to chastise a shy person for being quiet.
Some of them are recovering from trauma.
Aim to understand their silence, rather than pass judments.
If you're going thru a tough time right now, I'm telling you....
Just 6 months.
That's all it takes to MASSIVELY turn your life around forever.
I'm speaking from experience.
Life doesn't have to be this way for you.
For 6 months, invest in yourself.
Begin today.
One of the most dangerous misuses of technology is excessive scrolling on the feed.
Each content piece is different.
Causing your mind to go from thought to thought.
You're practically training your distraction muscle
Strengthening it & making it a powerhouse
Anxiety ensues
'How come I feel so rigid when I'm first learning something?'
Because the new neurons are forming.
With practice, the neural pathways will solidify & the moves become fluid.
Don't quit in the rigid stage.
It's only temporary
Friend Tip:
If someone is going out of their way to help you out like:
-Helping you move
-Dropping you off at the airport
-Planning you a party for an achievement etc.
Offer to buy them lunch or something.
Be appreciative.
Never take someone's time for granted.
The Birth of a Winner:
1. Spends years just existing.
2. Goes thru some traumatic event.
3. Struggles.
4. Breaks from within.
5. Introspects & rebuilds.
Time elapses..
6. The Phoenix rises from the Ashes.
The Winner is Born.
Amazing.
Becoming best friends with yourself happens in the darkness.
When you hit rock bottom, you have nowhere else to go.
That's when you HAVE to get to know all of yourself.
The good & ESPECIALLY the bad.
Once that happens, you now have your back for life.
Best friend status.
When a loser sees a successful person, the first thing they do is look for loopholes.
They wonder if the person was given a big sum of money by their parents.
Winners don't think like that.
Rather, they analyze the successful persons present day habits & business model
You need problems.
Without problems which force your growth, you dwell.
Your brain likes solving problems. Without them, it creates them.
So don't run away from pressure. Run towards it.
If you're going to get problems no matter what, might as well grow from it
Reinventing yourself happens gradually & suddenly.
You gradually put in the work, day in & day out.
You don't notice much significant changes like that.
Then BOOM.
You look back one day & everything is different for the best.
Keep grinding
Social intelligent people don't trust easily.
They became socially intelligent in the first place by dealing with a lot of back stabbing.
This group is knows the art of building rapport without revealing too much about themselves.
A few psychology concepts to check out:
- Spotlight Effect
- Illusion of Transparency
- Pratfall Effect
- Negativity Bias
- Gaslight Effect
- Michelangelo Phenomenon
These are just a few of many proposed principles of the psychology world.
Begin learning today.
Socially unintelligent moves:
-Interrupting others
-Talking about yourself the entire time
-Just answering questions rather than asking them
-Darting eyes
-Low energy
-Making abrupt changes to the convo
-Incessant arguing
-Rambling
-Bringing awareness to others flaws in groups
Social Tip:
Saying 'I know' lowkey comes off as rude.
When someone gives you advice, just say 'thanks for letting me know'.
Something like that.
And if people are always saying 'I know' to you, then quit giving so much advice.
Or be more aware of who you're talking to
Concentration HACK:
Listen to videos on 2x the speed.
Maintain concentration.
Now when you listen to a human talk at regular speed, keeping up will feel much easier.
Writing by hand is one of the best kept secrets to develop a sharper brain.
Although it's not really a secret. Most are just too lazy to try it out.
The motor, memory, logic, creativity processing centers of your brain light up.
360 effect.
Just with the power of pen & paper.
Things you can control:
Your mood
Your finances
Your work ethic
Your character
Your mindset
Your friend circle
Your creativity
Your empathy
Your next big move
Your physique
Your progress
Your consistency
Your results
Things you can't control:
Other peoples opinions
The Trinity:
-Make your character so expensive that it cannot be bought.
-Make your time so scarce that it is never wasted.
-Make your emotional currency the money that you never spend on low value people.
Introverted doesn't mean shy.
And extroverted doesn't mean talkative.
There can be talkative introverts.
There can be shy extroverts.
It all comes back to energy. Do they feel more energized around people or do they need time to recharge by themselves?
That's the difference
'Why do real people have less friends?'
Because they understand most people are not real.
Therefore, they don't look for more friends.
They look for more real friends.
Sneaky ways people hate:
โชPompous questions
โชExcessive sarcasm out of the blue moon
โช'Joking'
โชinsinuating that your accomplishment was easy
โชevident subtweeting
โชsaying stuff like 'we'll see how long it lasts'
The calmest person in the room probably:
1. Has had the most past conflicts in the room & is hard to rattle nowadays.
2. Meditates a lot.
3. Both 1 & 2.
'Why don't introverts like small talk?'
Because they spend a lot of time deep thinking.
They feel like they have to dumb themselves down for small talk.
They prefer in depth conversations with nuance.
Dark truth is that many parents have the right heart but the wrong mind.
So what happens?
They love their kids to the moon & back.
But they pass on their limiting beliefs to the next generation.
Tough because unlearning limiting beliefs is a journey.
Still possible though.
When you try killing the ego, you get a 'nice guy.'
A people pleaser who gets pushed around.
Don't try to impress humans.
That's when you'll see their dirty disgusting sides.
Impress yourself. Build your confidence
That's when you'll attract those who matter
'Jack of all trades & the master of none.'
^One of the biggest fake limiting beliefs out there.
You can be a master of many things.
But your approach needs to be strategic.
Rather than trying to master everything at once.
-Master one at a time.
Skills eventually intertwine.
Mind Gym:
Non fiction to work out your left brain.
Fiction to work out your right brain.
Meditation to exercise awareness.
Visualization to sharpen imagination.
Writing to slow down your thoughts.
Focus for strength training.
Reframing thoughts for reps.
You work the best when your back is against the wall.
You waste so much time because you don't have any deadlines or pressure.
So create your own deadlines & pressure.
Put your back against the wall.
It's either win or your darkest fears come true.
Now pick.
The reason that many people never feel confident is because they never acknowledge their accomplishments.
They cross off a bunch of goals & immediately are onto the next one.
This will have you always feeling unfulfilled.
Slow down.
ACKNOWLEDGE your accomplishments.
๐ฅTHREAD: 27 Lessons๐ฅ
In light of my 27th birthday, I would like to share 27 lessons that I have learned on my journey.
A lot of these lessons were learned the hard way.
But better late than never.
Let's begin.
๐
Public Speaking Mentality HACK:
Talk to the audience like they are 5 year olds.
This does a few things:
1. You speak to their inner child. Do that and you cradle their attention.
2. You simplify your language.
3. Your delivery enhances.
4. You feel more confident.
Two incomplete people getting into a relationship to complete each other, ends poorly.
Two complete people getting into a relationship to amplify each other, goes more smoothly.
A lot of people you consider extroverted, are actually introverted.
Grant Cardone is primarily introverted.
But just like him & many others, they can switch gears.
Social intelligence is when you can switch between introverted & extroverted depending on the circumstance.
People who practice accountability are hard to control.
They know how to think for themselves.
Society doesn't want that.
'Why?'
Because people who think for themselves are the first ones to break the norms that society has set for them.
Life Lessons:
Being broke teaches you how to survive with less.
Being dumped teaches you how to tame your ego.
Being discriminated for something you can't control teaches you the ugly of the real world.
Being bitten by snakes teaches you the value of your trust.
Only a few people are genuinely happy for your wins.
The rest don't care or resent you.
That's why it's important to keep your best friends squad small.
But it's more important to ensure that you're your own best friend.
The key to charisma is unlocking your inner kid & maintaining the structure of an adult.
A kid doesn't take themselves too seriously.
They are fully present & can make something out of nothing.
However, they are wild. Tame that with the adult side.
Balancing act
Your Most PRECIOUS Currencies:
-Energy
-Time
-Attention
-Trust
-Love
-Loyalty
-Respect
Only give these currencies to high value people. Never spend these currencies on low value shitheads eg: trolls, weasels, snakes, naysayers etc.
Loneliness makes you trust too quickly.
You want to open up & talk to someone.
But this can have you saying too much to the wrong people.
Quiet.
Let the trust build on its nature pace.
No need to rush.
The Birth of a Winner:
1. Spends years just existing.
2. Goes thru some traumatic event.
3. Struggles.
4. Breaks from within.
5. Introspects & rebuilds.
Time elapses...
6. The Phoenix rises from the Ashes.
The Winner is Born.
Amazing.
Life is 10x harder when you're sensitive.
Being emotionally fragile has you taking everything personally.
Draining as fuck.
Your emotions are simply physical sensations with a perception attached to it.
That's all.
It does not depict reality.
If you are better than the person you were a year ago, then you are doing a lot better than you think.
A lot of people are the exact same or even worse than the year before.
Acknowledge the hard work that you've been putting in.
If you have abundance mentality, then you should not be crying all day about someone walking out of your life.
Plenty of people out there.
Take some time to process the emotions & on to da' next one.
Treat yourself like the prize.
HACKS to Never Run out of Content:
โTalk about what you've been thru rather than what's hot right now
โCreate content for your younger self rather than a market
โLead with emotions, edit with logic
โAct like you're the only person In the universe, then create