Apostate Abish @ApostateAbish Twitter profile | Pikagi

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Apostate Abish

@ApostateAbish

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599

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Mormon apostate calling out the hypocrisy and bearing my testimony of just how cuckoo bananas the LDS church really is.

Joined December 2022

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

Abish is 1 of 3 women unique to Mormonism. I’m expected to believe the Mormon god honors women but names more animals in the BOM than women? I’m expected to believe the LDS church loves women when it’s own prophets don’t bother to learn the name of our Mother in Heaven? 15/16

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

Hi! I’m new here. I’m the only exmo in my very Mormon family. Temple president parents. Mission and stake president uncles. Brother is a bishop. Leaving was the scariest and bravest thing I have ever done. I need a safe place to land.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

12 days

@DrewFoxingt0n I’ve told men about being assaulted and harassed and some men have belittled my experiences and even laughed at them. So, no, men aren’t protecting us.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

I’m alone today because I’m single, no kids and all my siblings and parents are going to church and then going home to open gifts with their families. No one invited me to join them. So I’m alone but I’m also devastatingly lonely. It just about sucks the air out of my lungs.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

1 year

When I was a Mormon, I always thought people admired and respected Mormons for their beliefs and lifestyle. When I left the church I was shocked to realize people were just being nice and are actually baffled by and pity Mormons behind their backs.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

For me, leaving the church was like leaving abusive relationship and everyone in my family sided with the abuser and they keep inviting him over every Sunday for dinner.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

In the SLC temple celestial room, I overheard a man say to his weeping wife, “we’ve discussed this but now you have to heed my council” & I was terrified for her & Mormon wives everywhere. This is the kind of problematic thinking can compel men to murder their wives & family.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

Early on in therapy, I explained to my therapist how temple worthiness interviews work and he stopped me and said, ‘You’re telling me someone can declare you UNWORTHY?!’ That’s when I realized how harmful that language is. I normalized allowing someone else determine my worth.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

My favorite exmo sins, ranked. 1. Weed 2. Fornication 3. Sunday Funday 4. Cute underwears 5. Saying fuck for comedic purposes 6. Cocktails 7. Coffee in all its varieties 8. Keeping the 10% 9. Eating on Fast Sunday 10. Every other unholy and impure practice 😉 What are yours?

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

1 year

I don’t think the LDS Church understands that ‘No tolerance for abuse of any kind’ means YOU REPORT THE ABUSE TO AUTHORITIES EVEN IF THE LAW SAYS YOU DON’T HAVE TO. You hear about abuse and you report it immediately & do everything to stop it. That’s was zero tolerance means.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

I don’t want to be an exmo anymore. I want to be a nevermo who never heard of the church.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

I have a young friend serving a mission who is experiencing extremely distressing circumstances and her mental and emotional health is suffering greatly. She asked her mission president about seeing a therapist. His response, ‘No, you can counsel with the Lord.’ I AM LIVID!

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

As we were about to graduate, my YW leaders predicted the order in which we’d marry and which one of us would come home from college at Christmas engaged, and who would be the first to have a baby. There were no predictions about who would go on to get a masters or PhD. 1/2

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

My experience as a single woman has shown me the church doesn’t honor, value or respect me. I have no authority or power. I haven’t brought any children into the church. They happily took my money but otherwise, to the church I’m totally worthless.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

I’m feeling sad and frustrated today. I was Mormon for 40 years and miserably unhappy for 10 of them. I’ve course corrected and I’m happier now but I can’t get over how much of my life feels wasted. I don’t know how to move past this. 😪

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

1 month

I’m a daughter of Mormon polygamist pioneers, raised by Reagan republicans and I’m voting for Kamala Harris.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

1 year

Today I celebrate my 1-yr anniversary of my resignation from the Mormon church! 🎉 A huge thx to me for getting out & doing the hard work of deconstruction. A big thx to my Twitter fam for your caring & support. Yay! Hell Yes! 😀 👇 👇 👇

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

Abish is one of 6 women named in the Book of Mormon, 3 of whom are unique to the BOM. 2 of those 3 women have speaking parts. For contrast there are about 180 men named in the BOM. I hope you like feminist rants because here it comes. 🧵 1/16

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

1 month

What makes a woman unfit 2b president, per misogynists -has kids;she’s a bad mom -doesn’t have kids; she should -has stepkids; she never gave birth -she’s serious; we don’t like her -she laughs; we don’t like her -she’s pretty; we can’t take her seriously! -she ugly; we hate her

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

The biggest lie I was told about leaving the church was I wouldn’t find happiness outside of it. Which is insane because I couldn’t find happiness *in* the church even though I desperately wanted to. I leave the church and it’s like an explosion of joy awaited me.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

1 year

Two of my LDS friends, with presidency callings, both disclosed to me recently that they don’t believe JS was a prophet and they essentially don’t believe in or follow any of the unique Mormon doctrine. I was stunned. So in my LDS friend group, only 1/6 is active & believing.👀

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

Moments like this, the pain of not having a partner and family is excruciating. It’s painful having no one in my corner, while the people who love me most, love their god and church more than they love me. Anyway, Merry Christmas.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

My soapbox item is to abolish the use of ‘Mrs.’ and the title for every woman is ‘Ms.’. Marital status should not matter when addressing a woman. It does not matter when you address a man.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

The Mormon Temple Endowment, Muppet Edition.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

When you’ve been taught from birth there is only one way to be happy, it takes an incredible amount to confidence and courage to say, “I’m not happy here.”

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

1 year

Misogyny doesn’t target women equally across the board but rather selectively targets women who are a threat to the patriarchal power structures. This is why many LDS women who conform to their roles as dictated by the church don’t experience the Mormon misogyny the way I did.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

11 months

The Mormons in my personal life don’t understand how much I DON’T SAY about the church for the sake of our relationship. They are free to post “think celestial” memes and conference talks daily but if I dare speak out about how I feel, they will feel attacked and despise me.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

1 year

My friend described leaving the church like she now has all the crayons to color with instead of the 3 colors she was allowed to use when she was Mormon. And I just love that.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

Let’s have a guilt-off! What’s the most ridiculous thing Mormonism or religion made you feel guilty for? Me: I felt guilty I couldn’t remember the names for everyone I did baptisms for the dead for.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

The Christian response to my pain about being alone on Christmas were all mean and apathetic, save one. They saw my pain and added to it. No empathy, no kindness, no love. This speaks volumes. The response from everyone else was empathetic, kind and loving. I thank you. ❤️

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

I talked to my family about what happened and how it hurt to be excluded. They acknowledge their failure to include me was insensitive but unintentional. Unintentional harm still hurts but I’m confident we’ll work through this. Thanks again to everyone who was kind and supportive

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

CW: Rape and SA 🧵 It took me 26 years to say “I was raped” out loud to another person. I’m sharing my story because it’s healing for me to talk about it. Victims never need to tell their stories but when they do they need to be heard and believed. All I ask is you listen. 1/12

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

1 year

I despise Mormonism. This is why. I was raped at 16, a traumatic and life altering event on its own, then taught at church that a prophet (SWK) said it would’ve been better to me to have DIED than to live without my ‘virtue’. I believed this because prophets talk for god. 🧵

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

7 days

It’ll never not shock me how my family is absolutely ok with my being excluded from a family wedding and that they accept this as good and holy.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

1 year

A tampon is not a penis. A tampon is not a finger. A tampon is not a sexual device. I feel like I’m living in the twilight zone to see men freaking out about tampon usage.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

I explained to my dad how the temple was painful to me. I mentioned women, pre-1990 covenanted to obey the law of their husbands while I had to hearken to my husband who hearkens to god. He dismissed my pain and said god loves women and that, readers, is Mormonism in a nutshell.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

8 months

Yesterday I did a brave thing and talked about my Mormon experience and why I left the church on one of my personal social media accounts. VULNERABLE. The response has been overwhelmingly positive. Thank you @whitecatprophcy for inspiring me. Look at these comments. 🥹👇🏼

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

1 year

I would love to date an ex-Mormon because one time I walked into the kitchen and my ex was wearing an apron (he never wore one before) so I ask, “what is that apron you have on?” and he tells me about his fucking apron.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

1 year

My parents have received the Second Anointing. I can’t prove it other than when I asked my dad about it his mouth said ‘I can’t tell you’ but his face said ‘how did you ding dong diddly know?’

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

1 year

I fucking love not being a Mormon.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

🧵 Through my dad’s calling, I met a Q12 & had 1 on 1 convo about my life & singleness. I was 29. He gave me a blessing that I would “not wait much longer for marriage”. He held my hands, looked me in the eyes and said, “God knows & loves you. He has a plan, it’ll work out.” 1/8

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

When I started dating outside the church in my mid 30s, I noticed 2 things right away. 1. These men were dating me to get to know ME, not to see if I could fulfill a role for them. This blew my mind. 🤯 2. They were overwhelmingly more respectful of my sexual boundaries.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

5 months

I spent my commute listening to #HellTogether on repeat and now I’m sobbing in my car thinking how every Mormon in my life who knows my story and how much I suffered, remains committed to supporting the people and organizations who harmed me. 1/4

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

This experience was monumentally painful for me. I’m furious the church put me through this. For years, I suffered unnecessarily. I beat myself up trying to be perfect enough to be worthy of my blessing to the point I came to hate myself. All because I had faith in a prophet. 8/8

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

I don’t know any active LDS who think the church is a cult. I didn’t think so either until I realized it wouldn’t have taken me a decade to leave the church if it’s merely a church. Churches are easy to leave. Cults, not so much.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

I was in YSA wards for 9 years. I thrived there bc I was extroverted & popular but I’m a believer YSA wards shouldn’t exist. They create an ‘us and them’ mentally. That you aren’t part of the ‘real’ church until you’re married. The church utterly fails its single members. 🧵 1/6

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

1 year

A cool thing about my dad is when I hosted thanksgiving last year, he pulled me aside before dinner and said if I didn’t want to have a prayer that was ok because it was my home and he respected my choices and beliefs. He had no idea I had been stressing about this for weeks.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

1 year

I was taught at church the absolute worst thing I could do was have sex outside of marriage. Not just because it’s a ‘sin’ but it lessens my value in the Mormon marriage market. As a woman marriage is my only path to happiness and status. I was a damn commodity, not a person.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

1 year

The Mormon church sells a plan of happiness but provides happiness to select few and poisons the rest. I wasn’t one of the lucky ones. It’s not a coincidence I’m happier and healthier since I stepped away. I want everyone to understand I left the church to save my life. 6/6

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

1 year

One cool thing about my temple matron mom is she offered to dispose of my garments (so she could do it properly) & asked if I would donate my temple clothing. I know this must’ve been emotionally hard for her but she didn’t try to guilt me or convince me I would need them later.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

8 months

I cannot believe I was indoctrinated with the bullshit that choosing to share my body and time with a person I like and maybe even care about is *almost* as bad as murdering someone.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

Leaving the Mormon church was the best decision I ever made. If that makes anyone feel sad for me, their grief is pointed in the wrong direction.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

I’ve made so much progress entangling myself from Mormonism but it feels like there is no end to how much it fucked me up and I am feeling discouraged. I wish I could go back in time and never be Mormon. <SCREAMS IN EX-MORMON>

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

I outsourced all my major life decisions to the church. ALL. OF. THEM.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

4 months

Mormonism taught me that motherhood was the reason I was alive and when I failed to become a mother, I felt intense shame and self loathing. I no longer see my childlessness as a personal failure. I was spiritually abused. I hated myself because the church taught me to.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

3 months

@ask_aubry The number of times we have to tell men to not sexualize our healthcare is unbelievable.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

I’ve been learning a lot from so many of you already. What a awesome group of people this is. I feel like a volcano of emotions and I’m worried I’m going to vomit my trauma over all of you and everyone’s going to end up hating me.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

These teachings aren’t endorsed anymore but the damage is done. Thankfully, I found the courage to abandon the religion that destroyed me. I’ve rebuilt my self esteem & learned to love myself again. I’ve stopped the bleeding. I’m healing, but there will always be scars.❤️‍🩹 12/12

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

10 months

I was 25, in the SLC celestial room, when I heard a man scold his weeping wife, “we’ve discussed this but now you must heed my counsel.” I was terrified for her but recognized he was following the pattern set in the temple. That’s when I knew I couldn’t be a Mormon wife.👇🏼

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

1 year

It’s psychotic to me how gleeful some Mormons are in the belief that people will suffer because they don’t choose Mormonism.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

I was taught every time you sin it’s like putting rocks in your backpack. I realize now what I’ve been putting in my backpack all these years was shame.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

I’ve been on exmo twitter nearly 2 months and it’s been very cathartic for me. I didn’t expect to have much to say, let alone to have it resonate with so many of you. Thank you for supporting me, mourning with me, and laughing with me. You have been a lifeline. ❤️

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

When my brother’s stake got reorganized, his ward was dissolved and he’s now in the same stake as our parents and sisters. Mom, excited: all my kids are in the same stake now! Me, who has always lived far outside their stake boundaries: hi mom. 👋🏼 Mom: 👀…oh….

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

11 months

A Mormon friend of mine was complaining to me about church, mostly about how boring it is and I replied, “you know, you could always just not go if you hate it that much”. She looked at me like I had suggested she eat a plate of live worms. Enjoy your second Saturday, friends!

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

1 month

I’m a childless woman yet I am deeply concerned about the well-being of the children in America. I care about their education, safety, opportunities, and their futures. It is absurd to suggest that one must be a parent to care about or be invested in children.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

17 days

Stares in Mormon.

@northstardoll

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18 days

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

1 year

I don’t know why you hate the church. All it ever did was undervalue your contributions, control your choices, determine your value based on how you lose your virginity, demand your subservience to men, belittle your ideas, silence your voice, and prohibit you from power.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

@Ranjanty1 I’m not looking for love on Twitter. I was looking for it with my family and not finding it. Believing in a god doesn’t mean I wouldn’t be lonely either, that is a misguided assumption.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

1 year

Learning to unashamedly share my story here, with all of you, has helped me feel safe to share it IRL. I no longer feel the need to edit anything about my past anymore and it’s fucking glorious. THANK YOU. 🩵

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

1 year

When I told my mom I was raped and then taught at church that SWK said it would’ve been better that I had died and that led me to suicidal ideation and decades of self hatred, my mom defended the church and SWK before showing concern for me. That’s what this BS advice does🖕🏼

@the_churchnews

Church News

@the_churchnews

1 year

"Parents, if your child struggles with a gospel principle or prophetic teaching, please resist any type of evil speaking, or activism, toward the Church or its leaders. These lesser, secular approaches are beneath you and can be lethal to the long-term faithfulness of your

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

6 days

Why is the Mormon response to people’s pain at being excluded from temple weddings always rude and insensitive and not “it must really hurt to miss these milestones with your love ones. I’m so sorry”.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

A man told a story in sacrament meeting about a friend dying tragically at 18. He went on and on about how sad and awful it was that his friend never served a mission, married, had kids, etc. I, 40 years old, leaned over and whispered to my friend, “he just described my life.”

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

It’s time Mormons stop pretending they honor women when women continue to be defined by the roles they play and not for who they are. It’s time to recognize that your Heavenly Mother is kept hidden and nameless not because she’s sacred but because she’s not respected. 16/16

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

9 months

Did I "apostatize" or did the gospel not have what it takes to love, support and nourish me?

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

6 months

Mormons really be like "you've been different ever since you stopped letting the church walk all over you. How sad."

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

1 year

No one tells you you’re in a cult, you have to come to the realization yourself while talking to a man about your underwear so he lets you attend your cousin’s wedding.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

I didn’t want to get married during college because I knew it would ruin my chances to finish my degree. There was only 1 life path that was acceptable for me. I felt so much shame I didn’t crave marriage and babies like everyone wanted and expected me to. 2/2

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

1 year

True story. My last Mormon boyfriend broke up with me because I was ‘too sarcastic’ and I replied are you sure it’s not because I make fun of you for liking Christian rock?

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

1 year

Something unhinged about Mormon history —> something unhinged about modern Mormonism. Wilford Woodruff gave himself 154 brides for his 70th birthday —-> my family is upset I own a coffee maker. Keep it going.

@dallinhhoax2

Anarchist Audrey Hoaxburn

1 year

I love how in 1836(?) ol Joe smith was too lazy to walk with his zions camp men back to Ohio and now on the family vacation we can’t use the lake on Sundays

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

My nephew (20) told me that watching me speak up over the past few years and ultimately leave the church gave him the courage to tell his parents he doesn’t believe in Mormonism. We had the best conversation about his life and his future. I am so happy for him! 1/2

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

7 months

I cannot believe I was indoctrinated to believe that a man who doesn’t earn his Eagle Scout Award won’t be a good husband and father.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

11 months

Mourn with those who mourn* *unless their experience contradicts your religious worldview. Then vilify those who mourn to comfort yourself.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

1 year

The church sells a flavor of misogyny that pedestalizes women who happily perform emotional, social, domestic, & sexual labor. Women are praised for being self sacrificing, dutiful, & ALWAYS cheerful, ensuring we internalize these duties as being morally superior, empowering even

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

Mormons see my pain from leaving the church as proof they’re right and I’m wrong. They don’t seem to care I’m actually hurting. But people will look away from your pain to protect themselves from discomfort. To see my pain means facing the role the church had in putting it there.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

2 years

This was a catastrophic break in my shelf that led to me being totally inactive for 2 years. This time helped me see the church was the source of my discontent. I had a good life, it was the church that made me feel my worth and happiness came from a husband and children. 5/8

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

3 months

@tautavelman But the man felt weally weally bad. 😢🙃

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Apostate Abish

1 year

I censor my thoughts about my true feelings on Mormonism with my Mormon friends and family. I know if I didn’t, I would lose many relationships. Understanding that makes it so obvious how dangerous and toxic Mormonism truly is.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

11 months

Heavenly Mother’s name is Eloher.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

1 year

Tell me about a time you betrayed yourself; sacrificed your integrity at the alter of the church. I voted against gay marriage in 2004. I’ll never forget sitting with my friend while he sobbed because all he wanted was the right to marry who he loved. I never hated myself more.

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@ApostateAbish

Apostate Abish

1 year

@stenar I had a boyfriend break up with me and he was MARRIED to someone else 3 months later.

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