Welcome to 2020, where you’re not allowed to read the news, definitions of words are changed on a dime, leaving your house or wanting to earn a paycheck gets you called selfish and breathing in fresh air is illegal. But people from thousands of years ago are the real problem
My cousin asked me if i could wake up her 5 year old daughter. So i walked to her room and told her the new strain of coronavirus is spreading globally even though the unvaccinated can't travel internationally.
"Are you awake yet??"
It’s so cute when my nieces jump from couch to couch pretending the floor is lava.
Now we have the adult version! Grown men and women thinking they’re gonna die if they leave their house unmasked. Adorable ☺️
Met this crazy dude at the bar tonight! He keeps buying me and my friends shots and trying to get us to violently protest Trump's arrest. He said his name's Ray. Nice guy, big Trump fan
Now I'm not married or anything, but if i was, and I found out some chick at my husbands office was calling him her "work husband", pretty sure I'd have to go down there and cut a bitch
I pulled a Kamala Harris at work today and told my boss that if he gives me a promotion i'm gonna start doing all the stuff i should already be doing now
@Surgeon_General
A more honest tweet would read: "Today, I got my cheque in the mail for publicly pushing these vaccines. Tweets like this are the best way to pay for my trip to Hawaii"
@conservmillen
@ClayTravis
I thought it was kind to see the white lady explain it to the poor black man who obviously wasn't understanding the situation.
Lol. My goodness these people
All this “trad wife” stuff is gonna make girls feel like they need to marry the first guy they meet and pop out 5 kids by their 21st birthday. I agree it’s a beautiful thing to aspire for, but some of y’all are coming across as pompous- “if only society were more like me”
@ZubyMusic
Zuby was making a point about how collective thinking can lead to authoritarianism. I don't think for a second he's like- "I want people to go to Hell and not be saved."
@MattWalshBlog
Garbage take. He hired Omarosa out of loyalty. He hasn’t been disloyal to Pence, if anything, he’s putting pressure on Pence not to be disloyal to him.
After 3 months of deep thought, careful analysis and watching people hide under their beds and run to the government to protect them from a “plague” that has a 99.8-99.9% survival rate, this is the conclusion I’ve reached. Sorry, not sorry
@StaciaTX85
@PressSec
@johnrobertsFox
He should start trolling and tweet it out every 5 minutes.
“I denounce white supremacy.”
5 minutes later
“Haven’t changed my mind fam, still hate it”
None of this is normal.
You shouldn't feel unsafe wearing a MAGA hat. There should be no need to be a "silent" majority. You shouldn't have to whisper criticism of the LGBTSTD cult out of concern that a weirdo will overhear & start a fight with you. The left are crazed & deranged
Calling him 'Tampon Tim' is a bloody great idea. The Trump campaign was missing something, and by inserting this into the conversation, they plug a hole and ensure a red wave in November. Period.
Despite what you’ve heard, there’s nothing selfish about wanting to see your friends & family or return to your old way of life. It’s important to make life worth living because we know what people do to themselves when they think it’s not. Don’t listen to the scared & unhappy
My superpower is being able to look at someone and know whether they are male or female without them telling me their preferred pronouns. No big deal 😎