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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper Profile
Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper

@AncuninJuicebox

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white bi trans man ⭐ 25 ⭐ writer, weed enthusiast, and collector of pathetic men ⭐️💉 9/16 ⭐💍 10/31 ⭐

he/him
Joined May 2021
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@AncuninJuicebox
Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
1 month
Fifteen years before the start of the Fifth Blight, a 13-year-old boy is taken to the Fereldan Circle. In the decade and a half to follow, he attempts to escape seven times. In a way, his final attempt works. He is conscripted to the Grey Wardens.
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
10 months
baldur's gate 3 has everything EXCEPT a fancy ball quest where you can dress up nice and dance with your LI. therefore i will be finding a reason to write one.
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
i hate watching my fiance play dragon age because he literally didnt speak with almost anyone until he got to skyhold. did you know they give you shit for not talking to them at all in haven? i didnt. until now. because i am not a MONSTER.
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@AncuninJuicebox
Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
in dragon age 4 i want you to still be able to hear party banter if youre on your mount
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
im almost sorry
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
dragon age inquisition would be a much shorter game if leliana had a gun
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
@HeyMaliniK NAME AND SHAME what company, what is the full name of the boss, where can we report this? this HAS to be illegal.
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
Dragon Age As Tumblr Posts Theo Found Funny: A Thread
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
1 year
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
2 years
good morning solas fuckers i love you all dearly but "inquisitor" is not interchangeable with "lavellan" and every time u say that in your da4 theories it brings me closer to the brink of madness
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
10 months
lets try not to forget that bisexual people are bisexual regardless of any relationship they may or may not be in :)))
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
1 year
@doefaced why are you being SO DAMN LOUD ABOUT IT jddnskdndjd
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
i want more casual magic in dragon age. who gives a SHIT about freezing an enemy into place if you cant pluck a specific book off a shelf and bring it to you without having to move from your spot in the library.
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
how did you become a grey warden?
@blackwallBot
Blackwall
3 years
Skyhold. How did you find it?
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@AncuninJuicebox
Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
laura bailey my beloved you deserve to be in a better franchise
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
does anyone else exclusively play women in skyrim,,, i cant make the men pretty and therefore they are not worth my time
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
if you can choose ONE thing to improve in dragon age 4's character creation from inquisition's, what would it be? i would add more hairstyles. i could deal with the plastic looking hair if there was more variety 😂
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
2 years
@PannadAnyone @riddlerozhearts @nim_zm @Cybren @natUrallyObsess @poetpedagogue is that the 'between classes' you were talking about? i dont know where you're located, but i had less than 4 minutes between all of my classes. if i were to eat between them, id have to do so while possibly jogging across a campus and up/down stairs. that isnt viable or healthy.
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
this took five whole minutes of effort so yall are legally obligated to appreciate it
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
2 years
what are your drink(s) and topic(s)
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
i will overlook any and all flaws in dragon age 4 if they fully introduce vampires into thedas
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
girlboss shit
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
10 months
WYLL WAS THEO SOLOMON'S FIRST GAME ROLE ?????????
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
2 years
@riddlerozhearts @nim_zm @PannadAnyone @Cybren @natUrallyObsess @poetpedagogue and they're KIDS that are GROWING. of course they're going to be super hungry sometimes. and even if they weren't, OP is 100% correct. let them eat. it doesn't hurt you, i promise.
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
1 year
no one hates dragon age fans more than dragon age fans
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
@tinykinseyscale Partner was never exclusive to queer people. To say so is to ignore the PURPOSE of calling significant others "partners." Grow up.
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
who's inquisitors are becoming milfs (or the equavelent) in da4 if the rumored timeframe is right
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
the fact that blackwall isnt really a grey warden means he still has dilf potential goodnight
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
1 year
i suspect you have exactly one character that youre hoping will sell your game despite growing animosity in your fanbase
@bioware
BioWare
1 year
Fill in the blank. Wrong answers only! #DragonAge
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
2 years
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
record scratch
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
if he were on social media i would publicly call him out but i cannot so all you get is this
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
@eplerjc they weren't wrong last year and they aren't wrong now 😂😂
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
2 years
has anyone tried properly reintroducing anders and fenris? feeding them on either side of a closed door so they're used to each other smells and associate them with good things?
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
2 years
i am sure the solas romance will be immensely important in its own way for worldstates that have it. but it is not required. it will very likely not be the 'default.' there are human, dwarf, and qunari inquisitors with just as much love and dedication put into them as you have -
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
2 years
- put into your lavellans and to think that bioware will ignore that is a special kind of selfishness i cannot fathom. these are games about choices. yours is not the correct one. there IS no correct one.
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
ah yes my qunari oc, salad
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
2 years
i dont think there's equal fault in the mage/templar conflict but i DO think that boiling it down to "templars bad, mages harmless" is ignoring the fact that we have seen the havoc a sizeable group of mages with ill intent can wreak.
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
2 years
i dont like how we forget that anders explicitly talks about being with men and that isabela explicitly talks about being with women and we still call them "playersexual" instead of bi/pan. they are very clearly not monosexual. i dont get what the issue is with da2's romances.
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
tell me you're avoiding the winter palace without telling me you're avoiding the winter palace
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
2 years
my dragon age confession is that every time ive tried to romance solas (its been more than once) i have simply stopped playing dragon age for ,,,,,, weeks. months, sometimes. skdjfhsdahf i dont think its meant to be. yall have fun tho.
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
i used this picture of bull already but i already lost the post so we r going to ignore that
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
alistair
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
give me your dragon age opinions and headcanons that make the squad go like
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
11 months
@cannibalanders i can hold them for you king,,,,,,, halsin makes me Insane
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
2 years
hes a 10 but he blew up a church and kickstarted a years-long violent rebellion
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
2 years
give me your pronouns, the age you realized you were queer, and the top 10 songs in your spotify on repeat playlist
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
garrett to anders
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
10 months
@TheMoYouKnow_ my first envy pt i managed to have good approval with wyll before the romance triggered and it really feels like hes about to give astarion The Talk about how he will ruin his life if he hurts his friend sjdbdjdndksn
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
2 years
@PannadAnyone @riddlerozhearts @nim_zm @Cybren @natUrallyObsess @poetpedagogue how long do they have between those 45 minute periods to snack, then? if it's less than 5-10 minutes, my point still stands. they're kids. they need food to grow. if kids eating is too distracting for someone to teach around, they need to learn to cope.
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
the echoing "what.." tiktok audio but its cullen when he realizes the naked recruit in his wicked grace stories is the king of fucking ferelden
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
10 months
@CatFosterers id even say Especially the mages. they arent usually built for adventuring! 😂
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
Cassandra "loads glock with religious intent" Pentaghast
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
three in one combo so i dont accidentally make the thread entirely about her (the love of my life)
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
if they introduce us to a trans character in da4 like they did w krem may i suggest a "oh shit hey man me too whats up" option
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
10 months
gale with reading glasses doing the Dad Squint when he's handed something to read
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
11 months
@velnna I DID THE EXACT SAME THING TO SHADOWHEART SDKJFHSDKHFJDS
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
blackwall has bi wife energy i will not be elaborating
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
2 years
sobbing dramatically kicking my feet punching the drywall and faking my death
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
good evening babes its time for another dai as tumblr posts thread
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
i highly recommend using screenshots to create shitty reaction images of ur ocs its much cheaper than therapy
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
Mabari live for at least 30 years. I will not be taking criticism at this time.
@elvengraces
n✿va 🍉 #1 lace harding protector
3 years
hot da takes this and hot da takes that, what are some of your WHOLESOME dragon age takes and headcanons??
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
for no reason in particular i would like to remind everyone of this
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
PSA: if you clear the codex entries and new things in your inventory so they no longer have the little 'unread' indicators next to them, it un-bugs the party banter in da:i and you'll likely hear it more. tell a friend.
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
Hi, I'm Theo. I like Dragon Age. Here's my worldstate.
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
mira: lesbian of the inquisition, what is your wisdom sera: world hard and cold..... titty soft and warm
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
2 years
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
2 years
im sorry my loves but solas wouldn't know what to do with himself if you called him daddy. it would confuse him like an old man trying to translate gen z memes. it would not be sexy.
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
i do love the dragons in dai
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
2 years
@PannadAnyone @riddlerozhearts @nim_zm @Cybren @natUrallyObsess @poetpedagogue that's unrelated to and you know it. the problem is that we are teaching our children to see food as an inconvenient time-waster (at BEST), instead of something that nourishes our bodies. that isn't healthy.
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
she might be my fave dragon
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
good afternoon mage mains i have a question to make you sad: what kind of demon is your oc most susceptible to
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
BALLOON TIME
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
the freckle overlay i downloaded for mira gave them to krem too,,,,,,,,, sir i am looking Disrespectfully
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
dorian: two friends in a room. they might kiss. varric and cassandra:
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
i still cannot get over the fact that you get approval for petting the dog
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
(unless you say otherwise) if we r mutuals you are My Friend™️. i don't care if weve spoken before or if i have simply liked your tweets we are Friends™️
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
on this fine #DragonAgeDay i'd like to bring special attention to one of my favorite parts of inquisition: the DRAGONS whoever designed them deserves not only a raise but a kiss directly on the mouth
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
2 years
reply w your oc and i will tell u if theyre invited to miras blunt rotation
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
10 months
@UmNogi oh the hours ive spent modding that awful quest LMAO
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
10 months
@LaFinDesToute i mean. that isn't at all what i said, but alright lmao
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
i have no caption for this i just wanted to bring it back to all your attention
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
sometimes im sad but then i remember that good things do happen in the world
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
2 years
calling default mhawke 'gary' will never not be my exact sense of humor
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
if you think romancing autistic people is predatory wait until you hear how horny we are
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
2 years
this is what it feels like logging into this website every day
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
1 year
you know how you can tell if a writer has never had sex before based off how they write smut? we can tell you dont smoke weed either. and thats fine! but some of you are very, very confused on what this set of chemicals does to your noggin.
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
cullen: if i had a nickel for every time a tattooed mage with a god complex made me want to blaspheme id have two nickels, but it's weird that it happened twice
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
3 years
@ForgeGabi @BioMarkDarrah there are some really good references for fenris' skin tone out there, PLEASE use them instead of making him whiter than paper. this isn't okay.
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Theo the Dragon Age Gatekeeper
10 months
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@unhingedA03
Unhinged AO3 tags🪦🕊️
10 months
his big dick and authoritative presence could fix me
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