@kevdog
@hayche_pylori
A few years ago i informed a doctor that i couldn't go on a certain medication because of a potential interaction, they looked at me and said something like "have you been googling?" when i responded with "no, i teach pharmacology" their face was amazing 😅
Ok potentially dangerous question...
anyone else sometimes feel that the "everyone has mental health" thing has maybe backfired & people are starting to conflate "normal" negative experiences with mental illness?
I'm not sure how to explain this within the character limit...
I've come to realise that many people don't really understand what is meant by "
#HearingVoices
" & think we are talking about something like an "internal monologue"
So thought it may be useful to have a bit of an explanation/description, and an experience share I guess
@adamfare1996
a lot of poeple in the past have also told me to "speak to jesus/god"...
and, I mean no offence to any religious people, but I have psychosis - the last thing I need is to be speaking to yet another person who I can't see 😅
When I got ill at age 19 the professionals looked for trauma. They picked apart my life and in the process destroyed the relationship I had with my parents. I was in serious distress and couldn't tell what was going on and they just kept forcing me to talk about the past
1/x
@adamfare1996
a sample of ones I've been told:
go outside more
a warm bath
some sented candles
headspace app
eat fruit/veg
drink more water
be greatful for what you have
just learn to ignore stuff
stop overreacting
get a job
yoga
herbal tea
and my favourite - "just dont think about it"
Jo brand "the royal family don't really lift a finger"
The internet "shut up you're fat"
🤨
Personally I feel that if you go straight to insults about a person's appearance, and don't even try to engage in the content, then your argument lacks substance and you've lost
GP asked me about my eating today. She asked how long I'd been recovered
I told her the truth, Im not recovered, but as my weight isn't low theres no support for me
She tried to reassure me that there was support, but then stopped and admitted that there isn't and it's a problem
Anyone else with
#psychosis
sometimes fully believe something while also being aware it may be a delusion?
Like having the 2 totally contrasting ideas in the mind at once and becoming almost paralysed by it because maybe it's real, maybe it isn't, either way reacting would be bad
"everyone gets depressed at times"
No, just no
Feeling sad is not depression, depression does not just mean "very sad"
Manic did not mean "very happy"
GAD is not "just being nervous"
OCD is not being "tidy" or "clean" or "a perfectionist"
Can we stop ignoring the complexities?
Something not often talked about when it comes to mental illness is how hard it can make day to day things such as housework...
Honestly things can often not get cleaned for weeks or even months, it's seen as shameful/lazy but the reality is that the can get downright disgusting
Noticed
@BootstrapCook
has been trending recently, mainly because of a totally unjustified pile on
So in part because fuck trolls, & in part because with my ADHD executive function & the current cost of life issues mean it may be helpful, I may have bought one of their books 😅
We get told over & over to "reach out" when at crisis, Ive even given that advice myself knowing that often when we reach out there's nothing there, & knowing how devastating that feels because I guess on some level I always hope that this time maybe just maybe there will be help
Now I'm not saying my parents were/are perfect, there were some issues, but nothing huge, nothing that most of people don't experience. For years I was treated as if all my problems were trauma based, and it didn't help, in fact it made me worse.
2/x
Care coordinator "are you free for an appointment Thursday next week?"
Me "no... I'm kind of in Scarborough doing a talk and Q&A on self harm"
Care coordinator "wow! Are you sure you still need support?"
Hmm... No wonder people in full time work find getting MH support so hard
But what I do know is we have looked for trauma, it didn't help. The only time I've been even vaugely functional and even approached recovery was when we treated this as a brain illness. Perhaps my having a neuroscience background this fits my way of thinking, who knows 🤷
6/6
Yes, I accept that for many their mental illness may be trauna based, and for them that is how it should be treated. But for me this narrative only causes shame, guilt, and doubt...
I don't know, maybe I just dislike the binary thinking
5/x
@ask_aubry
I was at primary school when mine started, I had no idea what it was, I genuinely thought I was dying because well there was blood!
Also I'm not sure what they think will happen if a 5 year old sees a pad/tampon?
Me "so, I have schizoaffective disorder"
Gran "what's that?"
Me "it's a bit like bipolar but"
Gran "oh! bipolar runs in our family"
EXCUSE ME??? WHAT???
@jessejanderson
I am ALWAYS at least half an hour early to everything because if i am not half an hour early i will be late and i get ridiculously anxious about being late.
I also have autism though, and I've noticed people with both ADHD and autism seem to often fall into the always early camp
Before I got my schizoaffective diagnosis and started being treated for psychosis my life was in shambles, and even with/after treatment it was hard. I still had to avoid stress and put in an effort to look after myself. But I was now able to function
3/x
In 2019 I got ill again after 4 years of being fairly stable, off meds, out of treatment, in work, etc. And now it seems I'm going round the "is it all trauma", "oh maybe it's anxiety", "maybe I'm not even ill" etc merry-go-round all over again.
4/x
Someone in the autism & ADHD assessments press article comments section is implying the increase in referrals is due to people seeing an easy way to get benefits for life...
Mate I'm diagnosed AuDHD, schizoaffective & bulimic and struggled to get benefits 😅 it ain't that easy
@adamfare1996
Last time I had CBT the therapist actually shouted at me because I couldn't identify emotions & they thought I was being purposely awkward 😅 granted that was a bad therapist but the fact that CBT seemed to imply that knowing ones emotions should be inate made me feel really shit
I have issues with this idea of reframing depression as sadness, anxiety as fear, etc
It feels reductive. There is so much more to both depression and anxiety, anyone who's experienced them will tell you they are not just normal human feelings, they are complex and nuanced
I *know* that trauma, and external stuff in general, can cause mental illness. But I also feel strongly that neither my psychosis nor bulimia are trauma based. They feel very different and don't have the same reaction based nature
Yes we all have mental health, just like we all have physical health, but what we don't all have is mental (or physical) ILLNESS and we can't really think of, or treat, mental health and mental illness in the same way.
All mental illness is trauma
All mental illness is biological
You all realise that this is a false dichotomy right?
The reality is probably somewhere in-between & if we can all just stop yelling at each other & can communicate in a civil manor we may actually make some progress
Hearing a lot recently about people getting discharged from MH services before they are ready/while still ill
Do we know what's going on? This A funding thing? A staff shortage thing? Or is something else going on?
@NataliaHodgins
I saw my GP repeatedly due to joint pains, at the time i was working as a joiner and was told "of course your joints hurt, you're doing a man's job" 😐
Turns out I've got hypermobility and this meant both that my joints were sublaxing and that i had almost constant tendonitis
I have a mental illness, and my saying this is not me adopting it as "part of my identity", it's just a fact
No I am not my illness & my illness is not my identity, however, my illness effects almost every aspect of my existence and no amount of denial is going to change that
Shitting hell I've been offered therapy 😮
Also the psychiatrist is now saying I may not have psychosis but my voices might be "perfectly normal" which is a bit odd, but ok...
Apparently the therapy will be working with me and Nigel (the voice) to work out what he wants
Suicidal ideation is not always full of drama, desperation, and urgency, sometimes people can be perfectly "well" and still be suicidal. Some of my most dangerous periods have come from logic rather than emotion
#SuicidePreventionMonth
@ItsEmilyKaty
i have noticed recently (after having this experience myself) that many autistic people seem to not be taken seriously by MH services because we don't always display distress (etc) in the way they expect us to.
@AlsJane_therapy
It's ok not to be ok, until your not ok means that you can't work
It's ok not to be ok, unless that not ok affects your hygiene
It's ok not to be ok, but not when it makes you angry, aggressive, or moody
Some people have a very narrow definition of what "not ok" is actually ok
I also have none voice auditory hallucinations. These are usually things like a door bell, knock at the door, music from nowhere, or when I'm ill a baby crying.
To be honest I don't mind the music 😅
So ye, that's my experience. I'm open to questions if you have any
@commaficionado
"All autistic people are like Rain Man"
Yes Raymond Babbitt was autistic, but he also had Savant Syndrome, which although does co-occur with autism is not something that all autistic have
The film also only depicts one presentation of autism, all autistic can present differently
Do none mentally ill people leave their house every single day? My care coordinator is not happy with my current leaving the house 5 days a week thing and wants it to increase to everyday
This is despite the fact that 6 months ago it was a big deal if i went out once a week 😅
Can we make a deal? I won't try to convince anyone to use meds & everyone stops ranting at me about how meds are evil, etc. Its a daily occurrence now
I'm sorry that some of you were hurt, I'm sorry that meds damaged you. But for me they work and without them I'd probably be dead
Oh this took off more than I expected 😅
Just to add I have also experienced an actual trauma, but this was after my psychosis and bulimia were already established features. The trauma did cause PTSD and I did in time (with help) process & no longer have symptoms 99% of the time
Me "I went out 4 times last week & ended up so tired I forgot how to start a car, then the voices came back"
CMHT "thats ok"
Me "Really? How am I ever going to be normal if leaving the house 4 times in a week makes me ill?"
CMHT "you need to stop thinking of yourself as ill"
🤨
CMHT "why does it say on your record that you have manic episodes?"
Me "ah, that will be from the time that I impulsively got on a flight to Germany with no plan, luggage, or money"
CMHT 😐
Me "or maybe it was the time I emptied my bank account and gave it all away" 🤔
CMHT 🤨
"we won't assess you for autism unless you have a crisis plan from the CMHT"
But the CMHT often refuses to see autistic/potentially autistic people due to "complexity"
Oh, got to love a catch22
Also from experience being told you're "too complex" for support seriously sucks
Hearing in Leeds autism board about autistic people with mental health problems being declined by MH services because the autism makes them ‘too complex’. This attitude from MH professionals really needs to change, as it is discriminating against a vulnerable group!
Today I am 10 months free from self injury, if I make it 2 more months it will be the longest I've ever gone and I plan to get my first tattoo to celebrate 😅
Historically December tends to be my worst month MH wise, but feeling cautiously confident that I may actually make it
Victoria Secret hires a 24 year old model with down syndrome
The internet responds with "OMG they are exploiting her!!!" & "i hope she has a parent with her to make sure everything is ok"
😐 seriously people? SHE IS AN ADULT! Disabled people are allowed to do stuff you know
Like yesterday we were shown a video where basically a guy was homesick and how ashamed he felt about this, it was framed as if this was an example of mental illness in the workplace. To me it sort of feels like someone missing their family when away at a conference is normal 🤷
I was really worried that today would ruin this... But it's now evening and I'm home with my partner so it's unlikely anything will happen
I've made it to 340 days self harm free!!!
Hopefully now I've got past today I will make it to a YEAR on the 8th on January
@AutSciPerson
On the flip side I've had SO MANY EXPERIENCES where I've offered someone help, they've said no, so I've not helped and then they've been moody with me for days and I've had no idea why 😅
Why even have words like yes and no if they don't mean what they are meant to mean!
Seen a surprising amount of hate directed at self diagnosed autistic/ADHD peeps recently 😐
So just wanted to say self diagnosis IS valid
Assessments can be really hard to get
Without supportive family diagnosis can be almost impossible
I fully support self diagnosis
Here's the cycle of my last 17 years of life: get a job, get ill, fall into psychosis, lose job, get treatment/hospitalised, go back to work, get ill, fall into psychosis, get treatment/hospitalised, go back to work, etc, etc, etc
Should my benefits be cut? Am I "not trying"?
Serious question
I see a lot of people in here talking about psych meds and making it sound as if they are just given out like sweets
This is FAR from my experience 😐 is it just me? Are other people just handed meds? I've had to get seriously ill before meds were given
Doctor "no i can't give you the sleeping tablets you usually get because ADDICTION. No not even a short course. I'll prescribe these offers instead"
Me "fine whatever"
*Goes to collect them*
Oh... Seriously? I could have bought these without talking to doctor annoying
Can we stop telling people that their mental illness is normal? I'm all for not patholising actual normal feelings, responses, etc, but for some of us this is not the case. It is neither normal but safe to lose all insight and grasp on reality as those of us with psychosis do
Sometimes I get so terrified that I'll get ill again & lose what life I've managed to claw back that I genuinely consider suicide as a way of avoiding that future 😐
I find these perfectly calm "logical" suicidal thoughts far harder to talk about than the "in crisis" type
A woman DIED because nurses thought she was faking being unconscious and their response is to simply deny services to people with PDs in the future???
The fuck???
"Following Edwige's death...we no longer admit women with a personality disorder to our service"
That's their take away from this - don't provide care to women with a pd label
I did a L2 self harm & sucide prevention course last year and noticed that psychosis was not mentioned once, so I've been looking at other courses today and none of them seem to mention it either...
I feel psychosis needs to be included
For me I'm currently on meds and these have hugely decreased the amount and intensity of my "voices", but I still hear one who I call Nigel.
When off meds, tired or stressed I can hear multiple voices. Nigel though is almost always with me
Sometimes he will go away for a few hours, days, or even weeks. But he always comes back. When i am ill I will believe that he is basically my handler and that he is telling me of my missions.
Sometimes he is distressing, sometimes funny, and almost always distracting
Several people in the last week have told me it doesn't matter that people will be unable to get assessed for autism due the tightening of eligibility because self ID should be enough
So, those people who are diagnosed
#ActuallyAutistic
why did you decide to get assessed?
Me too CMHT "I'm barely sleeping and this morning I saw some stuff that wasn't real. Right now I've been awake for over 30 hours"
CMHT "can you come in next week?"
Me "i don't really feel safe driving"
CMHT "why?"
😐
@BpdBryan
A lot of mental health twitter feels very shallow, the less "socially acceptable" aspects very rarely get discussed and when they do they gain criticism or a lack of engagement. But I feel that these topics are some of the ones we need to talk about, there should not be a taboo
As a person who on 2 occasions has had delusions involving the DWP and the idea of them watching, stalking, and monitoring me, one of which resulted in a suicide attempt I'm really not keen on the current news 😐
Nigel stands behind me, over my right shoulder. Sometimes he just comments on what I'm doing (like a sarcastic narrator) other times he earns me off potential dangers and informs me of rules, and very rarely he will give me commands or encourage me to do dangerous things
One of the really shitty things I find about having an episodic mental illness is that even when I'm "well" I'm constantly on the look out for signs of an episode to the point where I'm just over analysing my entire existence and no longer know what's "normal" 😐
As someone with a neuroscience background I find some takes on psychology and psychiatry really frustrating 😅 like no, ok, maybe we don't know EXACTLY what causes X symptom but we do know what pathways of regions are involved, we don't know NOTHING like some people imply
Also the fact he felt ashamed for getting a little upset about missing his family made me feel properly shit about some of the crap I've done in the past... Like if missing your family could be seen as shameful then what the fuck is some of the stuff I've done during psychosis?
The others are similar in that they only seem to have a few phrases. They will shout random words at me, or say really nasty things about people/things. The stuff they say is so far outside my personal feelings that it's really distressing. I rarely like to talk about these ones
So, a person I've spoken to basically every day for the last year, and spoken to more than literally any other person in my life, has left Twitter. And even though I knew it was coming and totally respect their reasons, I now feel a bit lost 😅
I'm thinking of writing a book on self harm... My idea is to read the research and make it more accessible, I'd also interview some people about their experiences to use as "case studies"
Each chapter would be about a different common myth
Would anyone actually read it? 😅
How do you respond to the question "what do you do?"
Personally I panic when people ask that 😅 I feel "well i was going to be a doctor but then I got psychosis so, ye..." isn't a great answer
I've tried saying "campaigner" or "writer" but get told those aren't "real jobs"😅
In the 8th of Jan I will be a WHOLE YEAR free from self injury
Back in the summer I told myself that if i made it to a year I'd get my first tattoo as a reward
We are nearly there now and I've just realised - I have zero idea how to go about getting at tattoo 😅
The other voices are not like Nigel, they are less human somehow.
One sounds like a GPS or the vice you get on automated phonelines. She basically tells me off if I go too far from home or break a rule. But she only seems to have so many words/phrases to her disposal
"noone knows how SSRIs work" is apparently a reason not to take them rather than a reason for more research...
I bet it would blow these peoples minds to learn that noone knew exactly how anaesthetia worked until 2020 and we are still learning about some aspects of it now
Binge eating disorder (
#BED
) affects three times more people than bulimia and anorexia combined.
Yet, it’s rarely discussed in the media.
This
#EDAW
can we try to do better?
My PIP decision letter has arrived!
Been awarded 13 points for daly living and 10 points for mobility, resulting in enhanced and standard awards respectively.
And the best bit? Award is untill September 2024!!! 2 whole years before I have to go through all this again!
remember that thing a while back where people were ignoring crying babies so that they learnt to "self soothe"? No matter how distressed the child the parents were not meant to even check on them.
Well I think the CMHT are doing the same thing to myself and several other people
been 12 days now since I've heard "voices", 16 days since I saw "spiders" and 3 weeks since I stopped having any "odd beliefs"
In a way this feels just as disconcerting. In part because I know they will be back, but also because I'm not sure I like this reality 😅
Is that bad?
@jonathanstea
I feel like we are going backwards... I remember about 15 years ago being involved in campaigns of things like "depression is not just sadness" until recently I really thought we had moved past this reductionist crap 🤦
the fact is that sometimes, in fact often, having a mental illness is shit... that's just a fact
I get that this fact makes some people feel uncomfortable, but if I am honest trying to deny that fact makes me feel uncomfortable
@pigletish
There's a book called keeping house when you're drowning, it something like that. I've not read it but like 20 people have recommended it to me 😅
In the last 24 hours my OT has sent me my care plan, crisis plan, sensory plan and SAR application forms!!!
Honestly she's more efficient than any care coordinator I've ever had 😅
It is perfectly possible I'm still in a mood 🤣
But at some point all this has started to feel very invalidating of my issues, giving me a very "I'm just not trying hard enough" vibe... And I also feel like it's a disservice to those everyday emotions to frame them as illness
@roryreckons
I've never understood the elbows on the table one... I've asked loads of people why it's a rule but all I get is a vauge "it's rude" which to me dosn't feel like a real answer/reason
The CMHT seem to be obsessed with DBT and mindfulness, and personally I've really not got on with either... But was told about this book last week, so let's see if it helps
@commaficionado
Same... I got a list of books and not much more. I did get recommended to get myself a referral to see an OT for a sensory processing assesment. But that was it...
Amusingly this lack of post diagnosis support was cited by PIP as evidence that my autism cant effect me much 🤣
Hypermobile peeps! 🤔 Is there a hashtag?
Anyway can anyone recommend some sort of shoulder support or sling? My shoulder sublaxates a LOT and I need something to help with the pain an be help support it so I can still like do stuff 😅
Me: "I think there's a chance I might be at the start of a mild depressive episode"
CMHT: "hmm, I can only see safety plans for mania and psychosis, we'll look into getting a safety plan done"
Me: "o...k... So what should I do now?"
CMHT: 🤷
It seems I may be hypomanic at the moment, according to mood diary 9 days in
This is not my first rodeo
In order to minimise embarrassment I'm reminding the Twitter app from my phone
I'll still be here from my laptop now & again. But hopefully this will minimise impulse tweets
Genuine question:
Why is it that if a person is estranged from their family, or can't count in their family for whatever reason, it's like everyone assumes that it's their fault? Like they are the bad guy for not being closer to their family. As if families can never be toxic
Been thinking about the contradictions of mental illness
-I've been interviewed on TV & podcasts but i can't use a phone
-Used to teach maths, but i can't handle my household bills
-I've parachuted & bungyjumped but loud sounds give me a panic attack
The human brain is wild 🤣