Alt Schwift X @AltSchwiftX Twitter profile

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Alt Schwift X

4 years

Alright you maniacs -- all 89 episodes of Game of Thrones Abridged are now on the podcast feed, so you can listen to the whole series on Apple or Spotify or w/e whenever and wherever you please:

Game of Thrones Abridged – Alt Schwift X

Professional and concise literary analysis of George R. R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire, broadcast live at youtube.com/AltSchwiftX

altschwiftx.simplecast.com

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

The ASOIAF books are way better than the Game of Thrones show. And the House of the Dragon show is way better than the Fire & Blood book.

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

5 years

Imagine: The Battle for Winterfell plays out the same as S8E03, Arya kills the Night King. But when NK falls – shock – the other walkers and wights continue attacking the living. All hope seems lost. But the dragonglass shard that created the NK drops to the ground…

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

Caraxes has more personality than Kit Harington did in GOT S8

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

I like this new art portraying Rhaegar as a sinister creep. Lyanna was 14 or 15 years old when they met, and Rhaegar was 21 or 22. He got her pregnant and left her in a tower where she died. It's not a wholesome romance, despite their portrayal in the GOT tv show!

George RR Martin

@GRRMspeaking

2 years

After a long time chasing down one of our favorite artists, we've noodled him away from other projects long enough to complete this fabulous set of images for our official Song of Ice and Fire calendar next year.

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

Team black has a sexy angry blonde man. But team green has a sexy angry blonde man with an eyepatch. This is the most compelling argument to support team green.

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

5 years

Next episode, Cersei gets valonqar'd by Jaime, Cleganes Bowl, the Throne burns, Sansa is Queen in the North, Arya sails west, Sam writes A Song of Ice and Fire, The final two episodes is just GRRM announcing the release of The Winds of Winter and A Dream of Spring. Gurm pls.

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

I'm enjoying HOTD a lot but it makes the later seasons of GOT even worse in hindsight lmao Paddy Considine's performance as Viserys is more powerful than anything Daenerys or Jon or Cersei or Jaime did in GOT S7/S8

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

21 days

Game of Thrones is about daddy issues. House of the Dragon is about mommy issues.

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

8 months

Old Nan says the Night's King's name may have been Brandon Stark, and he was the brother of the Stark king. But the worldbook says that Stark king's name was Brandon Stark. So is Old Nan suggesting that both these brothers were named Brandon Stark?? Who named them? Rhaegar??

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

House of the Dragon made several big changes from the books, and I liked most of them. But Daemon and Rhaenyra wanting people to think that Rhaenyra killed Laenor, so that Rhaenyra would be feared, is dumb as rocks.

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

"GOT had bad writing" has become a meme, but.. goddamn the writing in HOTD is so much better lol The characters have actual *motivations* and layers of emotion that give their choices meaning. Every plot beat has a visceral weight. It's a real story!

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

5 months

i'm sick of flossing. You know those little fish that live inside whales' mouths, and they eat the scraps from the whale's teeth? I want one of them. I want a lil fish to mow my lawn. I want a lil fish to do my taxes.

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@AltSchwiftX

1 year

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@AltSchwiftX

10 months

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

11 months

😢

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

🚨new theory alert🚨 George Martin says Casterly Rock "can be taken by apes". In the books, Ser Mark Mullendore has a monkey. Therefore, in TWOW, Mark's monkey will conquer the Rock and become the next Lord of the westerlands. CONFIRMED (Mark art by The Mico)

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

5 years

So Daenerys gets her Throne and Jon's child in her belly, but at terrible cost Jon gets his noble sacrifice, and his watch continues for the good of the realm The prophecy of Azor Ahai and Nissa Nissa is fulfilled in an unexpected way And Arya still gets her badass anime moment

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

Aemond Targaryen looks like he came to your party to shit in all your pot plants and go home with your ex. This is Lore Accurate, and I Love It.

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

5 years

Bran stops being afk and tells Jon the north remembers, the Starks have an ancient duty. Daenerys stabs Jon with the dragonglass, sacrificing her love. Jon rises as the new NK, and all the walkers and wights kneel to him. He marches them north to save the realm, his watch begins.

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

RIP @IsTWoWOutYet died before TWOW came out 😢

Is TWoW Out Yet?

@IsTWoWOutYet

2 years

So guys, I, the human behind the bot, enjoy this silly joke as much as any of you, but I refuse to pay to keep going. I may post the ocasional No manually, but not with any regular frequency. It has been a fun run. Thank you and may The Winds of Winter come out soon. Bye!

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 months

Did we seriously talk about dragon for 50 HOURS hahaahhh

glidus (or is it?)

@NotGlidus

2 months

glood and schweeze hitting you up

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

1 year

Things George has had time for in the last ten years: ✅ Wild Cards ✅ Buying a train line in New Mexico ✅ Sharknado 3 ✅ NIGHT OF THE COOTERS ✅ Fire & Blood (incest book) (part one) ✅ HOT D (incest show) (part one) ✅ Elden Ring ✅ Wild Cards ✅ The Duncan Egg Show 🙅‍♂️ TWOW

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

5 years

A wounded Jon and Dany retreat to the godswood, friends dying around them. Dany takes up the NK's dragonglass, looks at Jon, and remembers that "Only death can pay for life". Jon remembers his uncle Benjen, preserved with dragonglass to the heart…

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

1 year

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

1 year

I often feel tempted to learn the deep lore of The Elder Scrolls.. but maybe there are things that man should not know.

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

Fire & Blood (2018) is basically 900 pages of this

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

Thank you for 100,000 subscribers, Schwiftos! 🎉 Gonna livestream an episode of Game of Thrones Abridged in about an hour.

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

6 months

Why is there no Google Street view in Antarctica? Just put a GoPro on a penguin bro

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

Long-neck Caraxes is the dragon equivalent of a sausage dog

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

5 years

salt and smoke

watch this tweaked better version instead: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrU1SGDdViY

www.youtube.com

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

1 year

We need a logo for future Glidus & Alt Schwift X collabs. Reply with your best/worst logo designs.

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 months

They don't know what's coming

glidus (or is it?)

@NotGlidus

2 months

@lucello888 @AltShiftX i wouldn't be too worried about that.

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@AltSchwiftX

8 days

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

Overall, given the limitations of time and budget, I think HOTD S1 did a shockingly good job of adapting a dense dry chapter in George's dorky history book into a living breathing season of tv. Except for that bloody murky confusing opening sequence. How bout a new theme song eh

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

6 months

New livestream with @NotGlidus ! Talkin bout food!

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

10 months

The children manipulated the First Men with dreams, just like the three-eyed crow lured Bran and Jojen north with dreams, just like the children lured Bloodraven north. And the old gods eat them all. Art by Marc Simonetti

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

Thank you George, very cool!

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

16 days

Gonna use this to predict the release date of The Winds of Winter

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

1 year

@AltShiftX "Which plan?” said Tristan Rivers. “The fat man’s plan? The one that changes every time the moon turns?" — The Lost Lord, ADWD

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

pictured: Howland Reed chilling in Greywater Watch, doing nothing about the war and telling no one about Jon's parentage

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

1 year

Talking about Jon Snow live on Alt Schwift X in ten minutes!! Game of Thrones Abridged Episode #108 !!

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

Generated this on OpenAI GPT lmao

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 months

I love having this beautifully crafted TV show drip-fed to me in the form of daily two-second-long 360p watermarked vertical-orientation tiktok leaks. It's the perfect viewing experience, just as the creators intended.

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

1 year

DID YOU KNOW Genghis Khan invented Jenga #TrueFactsWithAltSchwiftX

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

There were so many plots that could've been expanded on. Like Rhaenyra's relationship with Harwin. Otto's return as Hand of the King. Sunfyre and Dreamfyre. Season 1 could've been twenty episodes long.

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

5 months

Game of Thrones Abridged Episode #109 , livestreaming shortly!

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

It is such a terrible idea for Rhaenyra and Daemon to alienate their key allies, Corlys and Rhaenys. They should have loudly pinned the fake-murder on Qarl, not just allowed Corlys and Rhaenys to believe that they murdered their son.

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

Hmm.

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

In HOTD, Corlys apparently believed for years that Rhaenyra was complicit in Laenor's death. And he did nothing about this?? Corlys is a man of action, proud and powerful, Laenor embodied his precious legacy -- and he did nothing to get justice for his son??

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

My uncle Ken spent 20 years developing a game called Bingoku, that combines Bingo with Sudoku. People laughed at him and said it would never work. But after years of labor, and a long search for investors, he succeeded and signed a major deal with Milton Bradley. Sadly, however..

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

"we know it's Victarion" lmao @MeereeneseKnot

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

5 months

Samsung Keyboard is way too trigger-happy with the autocorrect. Literally just autocorrected "autocorrect" to "autocorrelation", WTH are you doing bro. Autocorrected "mins" to "minstrels". This phone is gaslighting me I swear.

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

@NotGlidus Congratulations Glimbonius!!!! 🎉🎉🎉 Well deserved

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

Did Rhea command the horse to rear up, or did Daemon spook the horse? Did Daemon push the horse over or did it slip? What the hell happened here?? This reminds me of when GOT S4E10 had Shae grab a knife, to make Tyrion's murder of Shae seem ambiguous when it really shouldn't be.

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

1 year

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

mfw

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

4 months

Jon Snow rap!!!!!

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

Tell me your best/dumbest House of the Dragon theory and I'll roast it on stream with a special guest

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

1 year

This you @NotGlidus ?

luka big pants

@LukaBigPants

1 year

glimbo's gold

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

In the new HOTD Dragonpit scene, is this a sheep or a goat?? Pretty ominous if it's a goat, because earlier baby Joffrey is described as "kicking like a goat".. and this goat(sheep?) gets roasted by a dragon..

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

Alt Shift X got roasted in the Cookie Clicker Discord lmao You love to see it

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

4 years

One day..

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

10 months

I've read And Seven Times Never Kill Man, George, you can't fool me twice George, old buddy guy. The children gave the First Men dreams to manipulate them into worshipping the old gods and sacrificing their own people to the trees, didn't they?

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

@NotGlidus @TeamYouTube The system is so bad. What are we meant to do, individually check the monetization status of every video every day in case YouTube decides to switch off our income?

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

11 months

Livestreaming now with Glidus about food!

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

1 year

Any suggestions for more iconic GOT soundbites to add to the soundboard for livestreams? The Pycelle fart and Jon Snow "I don't want it" lines have been v useful for the food description livestreams with @NotGlidus . Sometimes a fart speaks a thousand words.

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

The ASOIAF Theory Icebergs and Ranking With Glidus livestreams are now available on podcast and Spotify. So you can now listen to 12 continuous hours of ASOIAF theories. However we cannot be held responsible for the physiological and spiritual consequences of doing so. Enjoy!

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

1 year

I'm generally not a fan of the theories that "Tyrion/Cersei/Jaime are Targaryens" and "Daenerys is not a Targaryen" and "Jon is not Rhaegar and Lyanna's". But admittedly, it would be hilarious if George revealed that 'nah, all that stuff about magic bloodlines is bollocks' ...

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

1 year

Working on a Dune lore "iceberg" meme. Give me your wildest and most obscure theories/details/lore from Frank Herbert's Dune books, and I'll attempt to explain them all in a livestream. Any Dune heads got suggestions?

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

Talked about dragons with Glidus!

glidus (or is it?)

@NotGlidus

2 years

glad to be the first one to welcome back @AltSchwiftX to youtube to talk about idk some dragons or something

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

Finally -- the true canonical ending to Arya Stark's story, just as George R.R. Martin intended.

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

1 year

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

1 year

Livestreaming now with Glidus playing the Game of Thrones Telltale game! Pro moves imminent

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

..Ken died of a catastrophic kidney implosion the following week. The autopsy ruled out foul play. The MB distribution deal fell through. I always think of Ken on this day, the anniversary of his death. The lesson is: LIFE IS SHORT, BELIEVE IN UR DREAMS, and BINGOKU FOREVER 11/19

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

bracing myself for the biblical deluge of smoothbrained HOT D takes

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

Livestreaming now with Glidus about weird ASOIAF book covers!!!?

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

I like that Laenor survived, but they contorted the characters and plot to make this change fit.

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

Maybe it would've worked better if they spent an episode exploring the aftermath and consequences of Laenor's death, instead of immediately leaping into another years-long time jump.

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

10 months

You're telling me that the First Men were winning the war against the children of the forest, and were cutting down the scary weirwood trees, but then the First Men suddenly decided to make peace, give the woods to the children, and start worshipping the scary trees? Why?

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

1 year

@NotGlidus @adancewdragons Get ready for four hours on Tytos Blackwood's raven-feather cloak Art by VKCole

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

@schwiftytangent He keeps a completed copy of The Winds of Winter hidden under that hat.

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

GRRM TWOW update history: 2022 - "busy with WINDS OF WINTER" 2021 - "writing WINDS OF WINTER", 2022 was "The best year I’ve had on WOW" 2020 - "I am spending long hours every day on THE WINDS OF WINTER, and making steady progress", "Still a long long way to go, though" ...

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

Talking ASOIAF theories with @NotGlidus in 90 minutes!

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

"Duncan Egg" is almost as good as "Aeron Damfair" lmao

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

"The white walker apocalypse? Yeah don't worry, I sent my teenage children to sort that out" "The Starks were overthrown? I sent some guys to blowdart a few ironborn, it's fine bro" "No one knows that Jon Snow is the rightful king? I'll deal with that later, stop blocking the TV"

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

1 year

Thanks so much! Looking forward to seeing this graph trend downwards as we continue into ADWD (the one with the cannibalisms)

oksenmu

@oksenmu

1 year

@NotGlidus @AltSchwiftX I just watched your stream VOD. Somebody else probably did this already, but if not, here you go.

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

This DALL-E thing has potential

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

3 years

I think GRRM fucked up by not including the battles for Meereen and Winterfell in ADWD, and pushing them back to the start of TWOW instead. Without those battles, ADWD is 1,000 pages of build up without a climax, leaving readers with narrative blue balls for the past decade.

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

I think we all should seriously consider throwing our computers into the sea.

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

Talking bout dragon show with Glidus live now!

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

3 years

Secrets of ASOIAF finally revealed:

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

I think #3 is genuinely hilarious OpenAI Playground

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

Dune rap out now 🪱🪱🪱

Dune rap

Instrumental by DINERBEATSMixed and mastered by @GlidusTyrion rap: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKIrVoq8xv8Westworld rap: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=...

www.youtube.com

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

2 years

Do melons have any nutritional value or are they just wet tangy plant balls

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

3 years

10 years ago on this day, A Dance With Dragons was published and the wait for Winds began. Today, George posted about Wild Cards lmao

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

1 year

DID YOU KNOW Spaghetti is illegal. #TrueFactsWithAltSchwiftX

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

3 years

In the official A Game of Thrones graphic novel adaptation, not only is Flement Brax's name misspelled, but his helmet is missing the glorious two-foot-long spiral unicorn horn described in the books. I demand immediate rectification of this travesty #JusticeForFlement 🦄

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Alt Schwift X

@AltSchwiftX

10 months

I'm not even a big 40k fan, but "Rowboat Girlyman" makes me laugh every time.

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