Just pulled up to the house and ripped every single pledges vape (I tested positive for Covid yesterday) 🤣 haha get fucked u little shits, guess whose not gonna have a fun weekend 🫵🏻🫵🏻🫵🏻
Here’s the plan.
- heat the pan
- drop the full gram on the pan
- put the lid on the pan
- inhale through straw through hold in lid
Readdddyyyyyy break 👏🏼
Drinkin beer doing blow wearing Peter 🤷🏻✊🏿🤪👌🏼🙌🏼🤟🏻👍🏼🎯🔥 only way this night could get better is if it ended with a lil hawk tuah on my thang 🤪🤪🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪
#SPITONIT
Tested positive for Covid this morning.
Doctor told me “rest, drink water, and you’ll be fine in 2 days”
Crazy to think how we went from being masked up and inside only for 2 weeks to being able to go to class 2 days later……. Weird
Out this bitch.
10 weeks, 2 Twitter accounts, 17 dab pens, 82 white monsters, and a ton of damn good music later here we are. Thank you Chicago, I’ll be back someday.
And as always, i hope everyone has a blessed weekend.
- QuaaLud Aberg
Top 10 substances that would feel good to dip ur balls in
1. Soft butter
2. Nacho cheese
3. Molasses
4. Honey
5. Aioli
6. Eastern Europeans mouth
7. Cool whip
8. Sweet and sour sauce
9. Yogurt
10. Soy sauce
HM: skyline chili
Disrespecting ur mom is NOT a trend and NOT cool - yall r lame for this, moms go through hell tryna raise our degenerate asses, not the way to treat them when we’re grown.
Just ordered at the drive thru, pull up to the first window, give them my card, they give it back, I fucking drove off 🤣🤣🤣🤣 too high for this shit spinnin back thru rn smh
Top 5 worst places to get a boner
1. In class
2. While playing a sport
3. When swimming, but abt to get out
4. In the Gym
5. In the sonic drive thru while wearing grey pants and it’s very obvious and the window worker is gay because he’ll give u a wink and make u wanna throwup
I speak for everyone when I say,
We do not give a fuck who ur rebuilding in NCAA25. Stop making stupid edits.
Everyone’s playing the game, everyone’s rebuilding a team, ur not special. We don’t care.
- 8oz
Places it is acceptable to sit while peeing
- family dinner
- in the office
- DURING class
- in ur own home
- after a long round
Places it is unacceptable
- at the bar
- at a sporting event
- at the turn
- in porta johns (hope no one does this)
- coffee shops
Dear everybody,
I am sorry for many name changes, but I want to share with the feed that I am no longer 8oz filet or Sam LaPortas Burner.
I finally decided on a name, and I’m going to stick with it. I am going to honor the Swedish prince.
Hope no one minds
- Lud
- 9:30 tee time
- Lunch at the club
- Grab beers talk ball w rich members
- Rip the par 3 course a few times
- Shower
- Steak dinner and a nice bottle of red
- Call bag man
- Have a night
Top 10 shows from when we were kids (non animated)
1. Kickin It
2. Zoe 101
3. icarly
4. Drake and Josh
5. Victorious
6. Wizards of Waverly place
7. Hannah Montana
8. Jessie
9. Sweet Life of Z&C
10. Zeke and Luther
HM: Lab Rats
Absolute fucking ROCKET who just transferred here sat down next to me, going to google “how to make my massive cock smaller” and then leave my computer open and go to restroom.
Hit the pen and spent 85$ at the grocery store today….
I move out in 36 hours
What the fuck am I gonna do with all this food? What the fuck was I thinking? Smh.
If ur in the Chicago area and want like 6 boxes of Eggo waffles hmu
Whose in the wrong plz help
- Roommate had friends over
- I get home from bar absolutely smacked
- I catch his friend snooping around in my closet
- I put his friend to sleep via rear naked choke
- friends friend step in, I sleep him with a right
They tryna say I’m the bad guy?
Things I’m so heavy on rn
- my new golf grip
- Tyler Childers
- back patio
- front porch
- running TE screen in the redzone
- Taco Bell cantina menu
- on clouds
- kjus golf polos
- hitting the stiiz after every bogey in PGA 2k23 my career
- foot mother fucking ball starting soon
Challenged my mom to a tennis match, kinda feel bad I’m a little hammered and took the shit talking a little far
She’s played everyday for 20 years, I haven’t touched a racket in 12 years.
My uncle just set the line at
Her -330
Me +450
Realizing I may get waxed. Wish me luck
If you’re a big titty busty blonde with a good ass and a hourglass build that’s located in Chicago….
I definitely will not be at sluggers from 9-12 tonight and you definitely should not come and let me take you home.
Thanks,
8oz
Just finished my final internship presentation - considering walking home smoking a J and then walking back to office for intern send off.
Would be a wild pull for the last day, will update.
Things that drive me nuts
- Women
- Slow walkers
- Plugs that take forever
- when the vape spits
- when it’s Sunday n u want chickfila
- women
- shitty edibles
- when bars have covers
- shitty djs too ^
- Yankees
- sweating a basketball over and everyone just starts bricking
Enough of the Peters,
I want to talk to you guys about one of the best polos for golf. Both options, polyester and cotton work tremendously on the course. They fit well, don’t bug you, feel nice and in my opinion look very professional. Can wear off course to
RLX = Lud approved
DO NOT fuck with girls from the Dallas Fort Worth area. I repeat DO NOT fuck with girls from the Dallas Fort Worth area. Cannot stress this enough. I have a large sample size and I promise you it’s not worth it.
FUCKKKKK IT. Not only am I dipping on work I’m dipping on this whole damn city!!!
Left work earlier, packing my bags, and heading to beat
@prezbread
in golf!!!!
Goddamn it I’m ready to be back in the south! Get me outta here now!
USA basketball is a fucking joke dude.
- can’t put out the right lineups
- can’t play team basketball
- can’t play hard defense
- get out hustled every play
You guys fucking suck and I can’t stand watching you stupid fucks.
Put out a real fucking lineup plz.
If you have any clue how to play tennis plz drop advice below.
This is really happening, i got drunk and told my mom I’d kick her ass and now we’re actually playing.
Plz drop serious tips I am not good at all
Mom asked me if I’d been making friends this summer,
“Yes, well no, kinda - so like we’re all on Twitter. I’ve never met any of them, but I feel like I known them forever mom! It’s more than just a screen name and tweets, they’re friends I promise”
Playing golf today with
- my dad
- sisters boyfriend
- boyfriends dad
Time to solidify myself as the best golfer in the current family, potential family, future family, it don’t fucking matter - I let the sticks talk.
Top 10 college QB’s of all time
1. JJ McCarthy
2. Denard Robinson
3. Geno Smith
4. Doug Flutie
5. Andrew Luck
6. Baker Mayfield
7. Shea Patterson
8. Tim Tebow
9. Jadyn Davis
10. Marcus Mariota
Dear community,
Tonight I had to bury an old friend.
It wasn’t easy and is hitting me harder than expected, think I’m going to take Monday off.
Hope everyone can respect my decision, and thank you for the support.
He’s gone now. Time to let go.
- JW Sr. (SLP)