for anyone wondering where my tag comes from, its the total number of toes with which peach's down air hits. dont bother fact checking this, i promise i wouldnt lie about something this serious.
i lost a set today in no small part because someone behind me said "we should ban leffen AND hax indefinitely, but theyre both unbanned if they can successfully complete a game of Catan with each other" and i couldnt stop laughing at the image of that. not even rly mad about it
march 2024: omg cody is killing the game he's the perfect fox and its so boring zjump cheater unbeatable vyvanse abuser how could we let this happen
may 2024: cody loses to samus and dk for 13th
idk why floaty players get so offended when spacies actually attempt to preserve their stocks. you're doing it too! this is the ranked mode, he is trying to win not throw half his stocks away on bad approaches trying to style on you lmao
everyone is like "oh leffen is so dumb" when his controllers break. but what if he is being haunted by a small european gremlin/leprechaun-esque figure that loves the taste of magnets? bet you'd feel a bit silly if that was happening but you were blaming leffen for it.
i think we should cut toph some slack for this kinda random out of pocket outburst. he just spent a weekend hanging out with cod guys, this is how they greet each other we should be thankful he didnt call joji milk main a slur of some sort
when you think about it all of the smash gods were gay
armada: plays peach
mango: loves wrestling men
hbox: gay (derogatory)
pp: his name is pp
m2k: lol m2k
this might be the single most insane piece of media produced about melee. ppl need to calm the fuck down about bobc it was one major why is everyone freaking the fuck out cody lost to hbox 2 weeks before what is wrong with you people and your reactionary little goldfish brains
im begging all of my followers, especially the top player ones, to just ignore mekk. he has self selected out of the community in favor of the leper colony filled with pedophiles. he clearly fits in better over there. nothing of value is being lost. let it go.
roommate's partner (casual smash ultimate fan who doesn't watch tournaments but watches clips) was trying to convince my roommate that hbox was the melee goat so i had to step in and give both of them a stern talking to
arizona seems like a deeply evil melee scene. theyre so scarred from years of getting farmed by mid tiers that they all got super excited over a puff winning something. frightening stuff.
why is it so much easier to maintain/regain 'flow state' while driving a car than it is while playing melee?
is operating a moving death trap at 65mph in the rain really that much easier than playing the silly princess character in video game?
if youre a puff player barely breaking top hundred and you look at what the best players in the world are doing on gccs and then also look at what the best box players do on boxes and you think the issue is the controller you are simply a self interested moron
my advice for improving in melee:
take a shower
go for a walk
drink water
get good sleep
play friendlies with top 100 level players
switch to rectangle
milk
eggs
bread
onions
carrots
celery
bananas
every peach goes through a phase when theyre bad but think theyre good where they pick a quirky move to spam in neutral like upsmash, upb, dair, toad, etc.
then you grow up and realize you just have to spam dash attack and cstick down better instead
do ppl generally think adderall/etc. is "cheating" for melee cuz i think im finally gonna get prescribed it this week (for very much not melee related things) and i would like to post about how it affects melee stuff but also dont want to deal with ppl being annoying about it lol
listen im not tryna start shit over ppl liking a tech video on twitter but it bums me out to see howmany ppl still fuck with mafia ("gamer jim") who is clearly trying to casually slide back into the melee community under a different tag despite being banned for assaulting someone
all box discourse is impossible because half of 'good' gcc players havent practiced in the last 2 years and even bad box players practice regularly if they want to sd less than 3 times a game
i kinda liked when the rankings were in tiers that one time. make zain 1 cody 2 jmook 3 then put everyone else in tiers and call it a day i feel like thats much easier than tryna figure out who belongs where when basically everyone else has an argument for +/- several spots
mekk will probably make more farming twitch subs off that falcon punch than he would for getting 7th, which will allow him to go to more tournaments and continue improving. he's winning in the long game, mere mortals will never understand.
i think we should ban streaming with a camera on in the melee community because that is the actual root of all evil here. i promise you that so many of your favorite players do much dumber shit behind closed doors and isaac big ballz is just dumb enough to do it on camera.
all i rly gotta say at this point on the box nerf stuff is that 3 separate top hundred level players have told me how much fun it is to play me now and that they think box peach is sick so if we want to have less fun and play worse melee then that just fuckin sucks man
i think gamecube controllers are cheating. melee sets should be decided by throwing rocks at each others heads until someone is unconscious. this way we can save time on brackets and just play single elim cuz everyone will dq from losers anyway.
@SsbmKalvar
i love how making the controller arbitrarily more cumbersome to appease the most annoying top players is a thing people are seriously considering
@chromeohnine
@zamu_ssbm
theres a lot of people secretly frothing at the mouth to jump down the throat of a trans person who says something they think is "ridiculous" because they think being trans in general is ridiculous and they're looking for a socially acceptable "gotcha"
i look kinda cute here tbh time for face pfp era again until i have a panic attack about having a perceptible corporeal form again woooo
ty 4 pic
@breathlessx22
:)
i have entered ~60 netplay tournaments since slippi came out (plus countless offline tournaments) and for the first time in my life i came in first place in a singles bracket. i love melee :)
this is how u kill luigi when he lands on stage with side b (wavedash backwards into him, time upsmash as he stands up and the strong hit always connects)
trif does like 6 galaxy brain things in this edgeguard but the waveland back on stage to refresh resources is a hallmark of their play and every peach should be stealing this concept to avoid getting stuck in weird spots where you cant hit fox because you don't have float/dj
its crazy how many dual spacies mains there are and literally only mango has ever been remotely successful playing both at the same time
maybe learning ur character's "hard" matchups is worthwhile π€
the amount of people who are entirely uncritical of the crypto aspect of juans little netplay tournament is proof that coinbase slapping their ads on every bts stream for the past year is Working
if this resonates with u then u need to go to more locals and play less netplay and also have at least one other thing in ur life that u r taking seriously that forces u to have an actual schedule i am speaking from experience. literally everything is better in moderation
truly do not understand why the prevailing sentiment is that peach mains are lazy/dont grind tech/etc.
like have u watched llod/polish/trif/wally/ryobeat play? they do so much technical shit it is just in fact difficult to implement all of peaches tech overnight lmfao