Russell Kane @russell_kane Twitter profile | Pikagi

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Russell Kane

@russell_kane

585,621

Followers

2,713

Following

904

Media

6,513

Statuses

on tour until December 2025 – new dates added all the time – click the link to bag your tickets My kids book Pet Selector is out September 5th

England, United Kingdom

https://t.co/llbFJRhFyX

Joined March 2009

Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

5 months

I’ve lived with animals my whole life. Cats, dogs, stick insects. Now I live with animals and kids… I wanted to write a book that would make kids LAUGH, teach them about animals and which pets suit them best. This is it. Pre-order for a discount👉

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

3 years

Devastated to hear the news about #seanlock - a visionary, very funny comedian. Droll, surreal, dry, hilariously-grumpy and brilliant. What a comic. All we can do is send love to his family. Can’t imagine the pain they’re in.

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

4 years

It was a real honour to give Ricky Gervais his vaccine this afternoon

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

2 years

What the actual…

@RottenTomatoes

Rotten Tomatoes

@RottenTomatoes

3 years

Oscar Isaac shares how Russell Kane, Karl Pilkington, and Russell Brand inspired his character's English accent in #MoonKnight .

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

2 years

Behind Every Great Woman… is a weird pervy man

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

2 years

Kaneing: Roald Dahl #roalddahl The only exception is Enid Blyton etc with outright raciall slurs - kids might copy those. Other than that - teach, don’t censor.

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

4 years

My god. That was tough. #CarolineFlack xxx

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

3 years

Thinking back to NYE 2019 when double-jabbed meant watching your cousin Darren get punched twice outside Faces Nightclub, Ilford. ❤️

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

1 year

This book is bloody brilliant. Readable - yet fathoms deep with engaging anger of what it’s like to be a 40+ female in 2023. Oozing in fiery wit too. Reading it on a sunbed gasping and giggling. @glosswitch - 🔥🔥🔥🔥

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

3 years

Cheer when a glass is dropped.

@ladbible

LADbible

3 years

What's something British people do regularly that the rest of the world must think is strange?

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

8 months

People declaring “Happy Valentines” to their partners on social media.. 🙄🙄 #valentines

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

4 years

1% Pay Rise for nurses 😳🙄😡

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

1 year

I was trained by my dad, as he was by his dad before him. Once that all-inclusive wristband goes on – it’s war – no one leaves the resort until every family member’s in profit.

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Russell Kane

1 year

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Russell Kane

3 years

Line of Duty complexities #lineofduty

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Russell Kane

1 month

It’s hilarious watching old Oasis fans – getting annoyed by New Oasis fans #oasis @oasis

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Russell Kane

1 year

Can I just set the record straight. I did not actually break my forearm while delivering a sperm sample for my fertility documentary. It was a joke. A joke, is when you say something silly or exaggerated to make or satirise a viewpoint - they were really popular from 1450-2021.

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Russell Kane

3 years

Panic buying bells

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Russell Kane

2 years

Beeping your car horn in the UK Vs Rest of World

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

4 years

“Miss! Miiiisss! Sorry to tell tales but Boris is copying Nicola’s work again!”

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

2 years

🙄🤣

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Russell Kane

3 years

Petrol Pump Shortage: The Solution #panicbuying

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Russell Kane

3 years

Spirit Animals

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

3 years

“Happy Christmas!” In November? No! 🤬🤬🤬

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

3 years

Kaneing: Boris’s Apology 🤣🤬 #Broxit #borisjohnson

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

3 years

Boris is now focused on ‘Plan E’. That’s where they get pilled off their tits in the Downing Street festive party, then do nitrous oxide and laugh at us peasants.

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Russell Kane

1 year

Britush English usage - C word

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

7 months

Kate Middleton Photoshop scandal #KateMiddleton #Photoshop

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

2 years

If you refuse to do overtime, Avanti call that a strike? I was knackered and I refused a gig in Basildon three months ago. Apologies for my industrial action, Essex. 🐮 💩

@AvantiWestCoast

Avanti West Coast

@AvantiWestCoast

2 years

From 14 Aug until further notice, we'll be introducing a reduced timetable. This is due to the current industrial relations climate, resulting in severe staff shortages through increased sickness, as well as unofficial strike action by ASLEF members.

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

3 years

🤣🤣🤣

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Russell Kane

3 years

Wow. #LineOfDuty ending

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

2 years

Please stop telling me I look like a murderer in America. At least 100 messages today 🙄

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Russell Kane

4 years

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Russell Kane

3 years

Boris’s Pre-Recorded Speech. 🙄

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

3 years

As a comedian, all I can think about is: imagine being Chris Rock, getting slapped, it going all quiet, and then having to continue with your scripted banter monologue while the audience stares at you. F*ck that. Actual Imodium in my mouth even thinking about it.

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

2 months

There’s no need to have overly big show off water bottles.

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

3 years

Just got my new footie scarf for the next West Ham game. #zouma

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

3 years

So it turns out that Dominic Cummings was just doing a really long best man’s speech

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Russell Kane

2 years

Do you have two types of mug in your house? Apparently we do and I had no clue. Comment if this is in your home too..

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Russell Kane

4 years

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Russell Kane

3 years

Gary Football: Daily Workout 69

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

1 year

So. I have discovered another division in society. There are people that can do a whole meal without any drink. No water. Nothing. Who are these freaky camel fucks? Do you know any? Are you one?

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

3 years

Shit. So #WhatsApp must run on diesel 😳

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Russell Kane

2 years

Brits: do you say ‘fried breakfast’ or ‘cooked breakfast’? 🤔

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Russell Kane

9 months

Lazy gits who refuse to do a Google search

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

3 years

We’re all inclusive, so asked for jug of margarita. “No jugs, sir” Alright then mate… give us 12 margaritas and two empty jugs. This is lindsey 5 mins ago. Mugs… lol. We win. 🤓

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Russell Kane

3 years

Kaneing: Matt Hancock #MattHancock

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Russell Kane

2 years

I would rather die of caffeine withdrawal than say ‘venti’ in a Starbucks in Chelmsford. Large, mate.

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Russell Kane

3 years

Fuck sake 🙄😢

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Russell Kane

1 year

How the dickens did William and Kate keep Princess Charlotte sitting still during the tennis? I need to know #wimbledon

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Russell Kane

1 year

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Russell Kane

1 year

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Russell Kane

1 year

Wham! – it’s Friday. Live every moment of your life like it’s the last song of the the night in your favourite club . It’s better that way…

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Russell Kane

3 years

Tequila =

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Russell Kane

3 years

Lads. Get a woman who can deal with your raw heterosexual energy.

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

4 years

So, Pfizer, the same company who created Viagra, have also cracked the Covid vaccine. Another victory for hard science.

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

4 years

Pubs to reopen WITHOUT BOOZE. Wtf

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

1 year

I've read so many books - academic and mainstream - about how to be happy and achieve stuff... they all boil down to the same four principles. 1) Treat and speak to others as you wish to be treated. (don't be a self-obsessed, self consumed c***) 2) Don't hang around with people

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Russell Kane

1 year

Offended

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

3 years

Language nerds: is there a word to describe a conversation between two people which is conducted at a louder volume than necessary, showing off their ‘amazing’ chat, enjoying others around being forced to listen in? Is there a word for this? Other than ‘cunts’.

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Russell Kane

3 years

Kaneing: The Word ‘Staycation’

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Russell Kane

5 months

I’ve just gone through the archives of all the other sex things that Tory politicians have done. It turns out he’s absolutely perfectly qualified for the role

@campbellclaret

ALASTAIR CAMPBELL

@campbellclaret

5 months

If Menzies is not fit to be a Tory and not fit to be an MP, there should be a by election. Professionalism. Integrity. And accountability. That is what Sunak promised. The tank has run dry.

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

2 years

Staff on train amazing as always. Feel sorry for them being managed by @AvantiWestCoast no aircon on some carriages - vulnerable passengers being moved and given water. Whole train Chatting about how bad this company is. United against common enemy lol.

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

2 years

A birthday apology to my wife @LindseyACole

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

2 years

Thank you for the- literally – hundreds of messages, telling me I’m amazing in goal for Argentina.

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

2 years

Without doubt the worst bathroom set up I’ve ever seen in a hotel

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Russell Kane

2 years

Am I the only one calling for Liz Truss's resignation. Too soon?

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

4 years

Kaneing: Lockdown 2 #lockdown2020 (Full 5 minutes version here: )

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Russell Kane

4 years

My hair this morning: I now officially look like I’m protesting a new motorway

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Russell Kane

2 years

Charles’ speech. Very moving.

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Russell Kane

7 months

Wishing your dead grandma happy birthday on the Internet. Why?🙄

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Russell Kane

3 years

Will Smith: How I would have dealt with it. #willsmith

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Russell Kane

2 years

Wifey with an absolute gent of a legend @chris_kammy

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Russell Kane

3 years

Just found this old picture from my first gig. Look how happy my mum & dad were

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Russell Kane

2 years

Kaneing: Trains (Avanti Special) @AvantiWestCoast (NB. Staff onboard amazing, company not so much.)

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

3 years

If the Aussies let him in, imagine how angry Novak Djokovic will be when he smashes that first tennis ball. It'll probably rip through the earth and come out the other side killing Boris Johnson as he gets noshed off by Priti Patel at The Wine Friday party. #Djokovic

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Russell Kane

4 years

Three vaccines now! Just checking - does Bill Gates own all three - and how many have the secret chip in? 🙄🙄😭

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

3 years

career goals achieved, tomorrow, from 12:30 pm on @PackedLunchC4 @StephLunch @Channel4

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Russell Kane

2 years

Kaneing: Home Secretary gets her old job back #suellabraverman

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Russell Kane

4 years

DC Steve Arnott #LineOfDuty @BBCiPlayer

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

2 years

People keep asking: why is your child never in your holiday photos? 🙄 I NEVER put my child online, and I ALWAYS take my in-laws away with me 😉. Drink up!

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

2 years

If you want to find out how this horrific idea went for me, I urge you all to watch @sportrelief on @BBCOne at 7pm on Monday #allstargames @comicrelief

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

2 years

🎉

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Russell Kane

3 months

Muggy people using loudspeaker instead of headphones

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

4 years

I think it's great #KimKardashian 's flaunting her luxury trip & a hologram of her Dad, while many Americans struggle to eat, and can't even visit sick loved ones Take it further Kim. Sequence your DNA & publish it- how about an actual camera in your arsehole filming your organs?

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

3 years

Posh Plurals

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Russell Kane

2 years

Kaneing: Liz Truss - The Sequel to Boris #liztruss #BorisJohnson #ToryChaos

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

4 years

To be clear, this isn't me. FFS

@theJeremyVine

Jeremy Vine

4 years

People wondering how we can live without our pubs

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

2 years

Kaneing: Avanti West Coast trains #Avanti #trains #trainstation (The staff are lovely – but the company sucks)

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Russell Kane

1 year

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Russell Kane

3 years

Pmsl - his lady be like muthafuckin Columbo!!

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Russell Kane

4 years

Attacking Statues Vs Protecting Women WTF 😳

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Russell Kane

2 years

Kaneing: Rishi Resigns #rishsunak #BorisJohnson

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Russell Kane

2 years

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

1 year

Annoying phrases ‘that hits different’ etc 🙄

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

3 years

How our 1920s evening ended. Like the 1920s. Can you spot wife on stairs ? 🤣

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

3 years

In genuine shock that people thought my low-res gurning bathroom selfie with the Green List countries across my pigeon chest was a GENUINE tour announcement. FFS. I am obviously NOT touring in Israel, Brunei or the Sandwich Islands. FML. Irony is dead.

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

4 years

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

11 months

It’s not Christmas

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

3 years

Whoops 😬

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@russell_kane

Russell Kane

2 years

Interesting fact: Jeremy Hunt is not running for leader, but he rhymes with every candidate.

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